Why did the person above you dump you?

I drool when I sleep and he got sick of waking up with a wet spot on his shoulder

I wasn't a good enough dancer.

Woudn't squat heavy but would keep on complaining about not having an *kitten*!

always wanted to have the last word!

Was always making things out to be worse than they were. Relax!

cleptomaniac - those glasses were mine!!!

She didn't share my love of pumpkin spiced lattes

I spilled her pumpkin spice lattes

because now the seat in my car is ruined and smells like pumpkin lattes lol