Pooping at work

dMonster01
dMonster01 Posts: 214 Member
in Chit-Chat
This is something I hate to do. I'm like a stealthy ninja when I poop at work. I'll blow my nose and close the feminine napkin tin loudly and all sort of other stuff so people wont know what I'm really up to. And I will NOT leave that stall until I know the coast is clear.

I have one lady at work who just lets it all out loudly then walks out of the stall like a champ. She is known around the office as Barbara poo-poo.

Any other ninja poopers? Or do you just not GAF?
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Replies

  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    With all the noise you're making it will probably draw the attention an attention "special person" needs.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Any other ninja poopers? Or do you just not GAF?

    The latter.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    You forgot to include your cup size and stats...
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
    Me!! I hate pooping anywhere but home :explode:
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I don't GAF. Every one poops.
  • DenDweller
    DenDweller Posts: 1,438 Member
    What else would you be doing in there? Squats? :P
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
    I get this.

    I too, am a stealth pooper. If I have to poop, I go to a back stall and will time out when I blow my nose.

    Luckily, I'm fairly regular so I don't have to worry about this too often. Typically it's after work hours that I have to go, I just need to enact these protocols when I have too much fiber. So much TMI here.


    And because this is one of my pictures and I RARELY have the opportunity to post it.

    That-face.jpg
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    IDGAF.

    That said, we have a few "poop stalls" around the building. Everyone knows not to knock on those doors if they're closed because it'll probably be a while (and stinky in that general area).
  • TheNewPriceIsLoading
    TheNewPriceIsLoading Posts: 2,135 Member
    Don't give a s**t, other than the one I put in the toilet when I need to.

    WHO CARES! We are all human, and we all need to take a s**t from time to time...

    Hell, I make sure I fart loud and proud, and grunt if I have to, and don't care.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    What else would you be doing in there? Squats? :P

    Pop Squats. The newest fitness craze.
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    You gotta do what you gotta do.

    In the words of my favorite author, Everyone Poops.

    As for me, my weird bathroom pet peeve is when someone gets in the stall RIGHT NEXT TO YOU when there are others open. How about if we don't do our business like 5 inches from each other?
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    Any other ninja poopers? Or do you just not GAF?

    The latter.

    I announce my intentions beforehand
  • Kimdbro
    Kimdbro Posts: 922 Member
    I'm thankful to have a private bathroom at work.
  • JayMell
    JayMell Posts: 23
    and I said he was friendly
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,282 Member
    I just take a dump when I gots to!
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    What else would you be doing in there? Squats? :P

    Just make sure you're quiet about it, or your manager will give you a good talkin' to!
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    This morning, I was in there so long that the auto lights turned off. I was pooping at work...in the dark.
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,282 Member
    Any other ninja poopers? Or do you just not GAF?

    The latter.

    I announce my intentions beforehand

    actually, I thought I was the only one that did that. I do that too :0)
  • SuperVixen2B
    SuperVixen2B Posts: 218 Member
    We have a woman at work that poops at work EVERY day. It's either 11am or 3pm, at one of those times, she will be in there, feet wide apart, OWNING IT.

    I'll walk in the bathroom and if I see her little stocking'd feet (she wears panty hose with open toed sandals) in that first handicapped stall, I just turn right back around.
  • TheNewPriceIsLoading
    TheNewPriceIsLoading Posts: 2,135 Member
    As for me, my weird bathroom pet peeve is when someone gets in the stall RIGHT NEXT TO YOU when there are others open. How about if we don't do our business like 5 inches from each other?

    So much this! Same thing with urinals.. If there's one open 2 bays down from another guy, take it, don't take the one right next to me. I don't want you checking out my penis.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    1. always always always poop at work. You're literally getting paid to drop a deuce.
    2. if it's a multiple occupant bathroom you damn well better give everyone a courtesy flush.

    continue on.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
    You forgot to include your cup size and stats...

    I'm surprised you weren't the first to respond to this thread. :tongue:
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    I only poop at work. It's terribly embarrassing. But oh well, girl's gotta poop!
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Meh, I don't care.

    fanartfriday.png
  • dMonster01
    dMonster01 Posts: 214 Member
    My work friends and I have lots of code words for bathroom pooping at work too.

    A "poop off" is when someone is in the other stall and you're both not pooping until the other person leaves. Someone has to either poop or leave and let the other person poop in peace.
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
    Poo-Pouri

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY
  • rachelrb85
    rachelrb85 Posts: 579 Member
    Oh I am a pooping ninja for sure. I am in and out of there before you even realize what happened. If if not, then I hide in the stall until the coast is clear. It just sucks when someone else is doing the same or taking their sweet time. Nobody wins in a poop stand-off.
  • daydreams_of_pretty
    daydreams_of_pretty Posts: 506 Member
    I just hate it when someone else in the bathroom is a Poop Ghost. That's when the person tries to pretend like they're not even there anytime someone else is in the bathroom. They get really quiet, don't move, and try to hold it in until you leave. The problem is that you totally know that they're there because they aren't invisible and no one can be that quiet. That means that the other person is just awkwardly trying to go about their potty business like they don't see your shoes there under the stall. Plus, sometimes you don't see the shoes and just hear a random noise that scares the poo out of you (literally?).

    What if person number two also has to go number two? What then? Does the first person continue to Poop Ghost the whole time? That is so uncomfortable. How am I supposed to go with you going all Moaning Myrtle on me in the next stall? I mean, really.
  • dfranch
    dfranch Posts: 207 Member
    I think you need to watch this instructional video:

    http://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_toilet_humor/how_to_poop_at_work.shtml#UwG3ZLrmcb.facebook
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    As for me, my weird bathroom pet peeve is when someone gets in the stall RIGHT NEXT TO YOU when there are others open. How about if we don't do our business like 5 inches from each other?
    Seriously! This applies to urinals as well. We have 3 in our work bathroom. Common code is no one should use that middle one unless the two on the end are already taken or there is a baby on fire in the middle urinal.

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