Why is MFP so mean??

Because this is the internet...and people represent themselves differently in their virtual worlds then they do in their real lives.

I personally don't get it. If anything the way I interact on-line is dialed way back from how I act in my real life, because...well, this is not my real life. I come on here to log my food and exercise. I visit the forums when I have a specific question or, yeah, when I am bored and wondering who is attacking who today. The forums are informational or entertaining, depending on what I need to get out of them that day.

However, I do avoid certain members. If I see their name in a thread, I just back out and move on. I've learned that no matter how accurate some people may be, I just don't like them so I don't bother with them.

Not sure if you're aware or not, but you can block members. Just use the little arrow button next to their user name in a thread they've posted in.

Good to know. Hate to have another experience ruined by the dysfunctional. That way but for the grace go I, you know. I'm here recovering from liver disease, and the last thing I need is to hear people justify venting anger and alcoholism, and stumping for factory farmed/sugar industry cao dung. I do hate to see them hazing the newbs, but I have to take care of me first. Thanks. :flowerforyou:

Because this is the internet...and people represent themselves differently in their virtual worlds then they do in their real lives.

I personally don't get it. If anything the way I interact on-line is dialed way back from how I act in my real life, because...well, this is not my real life. I come on here to log my food and exercise. I visit the forums when I have a specific question or, yeah, when I am bored and wondering who is attacking who today. The forums are informational or entertaining, depending on what I need to get out of them that day.

However, I do avoid certain members. If I see their name in a thread, I just back out and move on. I've learned that no matter how accurate some people may be, I just don't like them so I don't bother with them.

Not sure if you're aware or not, but you can block members. Just use the little arrow button next to their user name in a thread they've posted in.

Good to know. Hate to have another experience ruined by the dysfunctional. That way but for the grace go I, you know. I'm here recovering from liver disease, and the last thing I need is to hear people justify venting anger and alcoholism, and stumping for factory farmed/sugar industry cao dung. I do hate to see them hazing the newbs, but I have to take care of me first. Thanks. :flowerforyou:

So I just want to make sure I'm understanding...Because you don't agree with people drinking and fitting it into their calories, and if they choose to eat whatever they want and still lose weight, and they advise the newbies that they can do all that too....that's a bad thing because you don't like it?

No it's bad because she has a medical condition, so everyone else must be better off eating true way she has to.

Because this is the internet...and people represent themselves differently in their virtual worlds then they do in their real lives.

I personally don't get it. If anything the way I interact on-line is dialed way back from how I act in my real life, because...well, this is not my real life. I come on here to log my food and exercise. I visit the forums when I have a specific question or, yeah, when I am bored and wondering who is attacking who today. The forums are informational or entertaining, depending on what I need to get out of them that day.

However, I do avoid certain members. If I see their name in a thread, I just back out and move on. I've learned that no matter how accurate some people may be, I just don't like them so I don't bother with them.

Not sure if you're aware or not, but you can block members. Just use the little arrow button next to their user name in a thread they've posted in.

Good to know. Hate to have another experience ruined by the dysfunctional. That way but for the grace go I, you know. I'm here recovering from liver disease, and the last thing I need is to hear people justify venting anger and alcoholism, and stumping for factory farmed/sugar industry cao dung. I do hate to see them hazing the newbs, but I have to take care of me first. Thanks. :flowerforyou:

So I just want to make sure I'm understanding...Because you don't agree with people drinking and fitting it into their calories, and if they choose to eat whatever they want and still lose weight, and they advise the newbies that they can do all that too....that's a bad thing because you don't like it?

Go to love all the passive aggressive little nice nasties in there, too. She's just so nice.

Yeah who is she calling dysfunctional??? She don't know me...or does she...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

(no she doesn't.)

But if their aggression is passive then they can't actually be considered rude or mean right?

Because this is the internet...and people represent themselves differently in their virtual worlds then they do in their real lives.

I personally don't get it. If anything the way I interact on-line is dialed way back from how I act in my real life, because...well, this is not my real life. I come on here to log my food and exercise. I visit the forums when I have a specific question or, yeah, when I am bored and wondering who is attacking who today. The forums are informational or entertaining, depending on what I need to get out of them that day.

However, I do avoid certain members. If I see their name in a thread, I just back out and move on. I've learned that no matter how accurate some people may be, I just don't like them so I don't bother with them.

Not sure if you're aware or not, but you can block members. Just use the little arrow button next to their user name in a thread they've posted in.

Good to know. Hate to have another experience ruined by the dysfunctional. That way but for the grace go I, you know. I'm here recovering from liver disease, and the last thing I need is to hear people justify venting anger and alcoholism, and stumping for factory farmed/sugar industry cao dung. I do hate to see them hazing the newbs, but I have to take care of me first. Thanks. :flowerforyou:

So I just want to make sure I'm understanding...Because you don't agree with people drinking and fitting it into their calories, and if they choose to eat whatever they want and still lose weight, and they advise the newbies that they can do all that too....that's a bad thing because you don't like it?

Go to love all the passive aggressive little nice nasties in there, too. She's just so nice.

Yeah who is she calling dysfunctional??? She don't know me...or does she...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

(no she doesn't.)

But if their aggression is passive then they can't actually be considered rude or mean right?

Of course not. Words don't matter when you hide them behind a smile and a flower.

Like this? :flowerforyou:

Because this is the internet...and people represent themselves differently in their virtual worlds then they do in their real lives.

I personally don't get it. If anything the way I interact on-line is dialed way back from how I act in my real life, because...well, this is not my real life. I come on here to log my food and exercise. I visit the forums when I have a specific question or, yeah, when I am bored and wondering who is attacking who today. The forums are informational or entertaining, depending on what I need to get out of them that day.

However, I do avoid certain members. If I see their name in a thread, I just back out and move on. I've learned that no matter how accurate some people may be, I just don't like them so I don't bother with them.

Not sure if you're aware or not, but you can block members. Just use the little arrow button next to their user name in a thread they've posted in.

Good to know. Hate to have another experience ruined by the dysfunctional. That way but for the grace go I, you know. I'm here recovering from liver disease, and the last thing I need is to hear people justify venting anger and alcoholism, and stumping for factory farmed/sugar industry cao dung. I do hate to see them hazing the newbs, but I have to take care of me first. Thanks. :flowerforyou:

So I just want to make sure I'm understanding...Because you don't agree with people drinking and fitting it into their calories, and if they choose to eat whatever they want and still lose weight, and they advise the newbies that they can do all that too....that's a bad thing because you don't like it?

Go to love all the passive aggressive little nice nasties in there, too. She's just so nice.

Yeah who is she calling dysfunctional??? She don't know me...or does she...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

(no she doesn't.)

But if their aggression is passive then they can't actually be considered rude or mean right?

Of course not. Words don't matter when you hide them behind a smile and a flower.

Like this? :flowerforyou:

Perfect. You are now officially ready to start your own mean people thread.

Because this is the internet...and people represent themselves differently in their virtual worlds then they do in their real lives.

I personally don't get it. If anything the way I interact on-line is dialed way back from how I act in my real life, because...well, this is not my real life. I come on here to log my food and exercise. I visit the forums when I have a specific question or, yeah, when I am bored and wondering who is attacking who today. The forums are informational or entertaining, depending on what I need to get out of them that day.

However, I do avoid certain members. If I see their name in a thread, I just back out and move on. I've learned that no matter how accurate some people may be, I just don't like them so I don't bother with them.

Not sure if you're aware or not, but you can block members. Just use the little arrow button next to their user name in a thread they've posted in.

Good to know. Hate to have another experience ruined by the dysfunctional. That way but for the grace go I, you know. I'm here recovering from liver disease, and the last thing I need is to hear people justify venting anger and alcoholism, and stumping for factory farmed/sugar industry cao dung. I do hate to see them hazing the newbs, but I have to take care of me first. Thanks. :flowerforyou:

So I just want to make sure I'm understanding...Because you don't agree with people drinking and fitting it into their calories, and if they choose to eat whatever they want and still lose weight, and they advise the newbies that they can do all that too....that's a bad thing because you don't like it?

I think this calls for...


...waaaaaait for it.



....

You...I like you...

Oh wait is that mean? I'm confused

Eh, I think the truth lies in the middle between the mean camp and the butthurt camp.

I have noticed that the most knowledgeable people, whom I respect (Stroutman, SarahUK, Sidesteel), tend to reply to threads with considered responses, taking into account all sides and present facts in an easily understandable way.

I try to emulate them when replying (not that I do much of that). *Shrugs*.

:flowerforyou:

Although I have often been accused of being mean and a bully. I also have a posse...although I have not been accused of that for a while. :happy:

Then why do it? Why keep opening and responding when it's so frustrating that you feel the need to be mean?

Many time these "mean" people are being honest, straight-forward, or just blunt. Not the same as being mean. Also having different opinions is often interpreted as being mean.

I disagree. I saw one poor person discuss her opinions about sugar this morning and bam 8 or 9 pages of personality disordered evil. A few nights ago someone posted they might have realized they are drinking too much, and page after page of "just work it into your calories. I still drink (burp)" People need fitness for a lot of different reasons: some people are sick, some were never taught a decent relationship with food, or sugar, or alcohol. The OP suggests that the reason we came on here was to learn the truth which she then immediately conflates with accepting abuse. I just wish people would understand that you may prefer your truth administered with a hammer, but others have a right to their path as well. Mean people suck. :flowerforyou:

Reread that thread (if its the one I think you are referring to). Pay close attention to the claims the OP made as well as the nature of her responses. Then please quote where someone was 'personality disordered evil'

Because this is the internet...and people represent themselves differently in their virtual worlds then they do in their real lives.

I personally don't get it. If anything the way I interact on-line is dialed way back from how I act in my real life, because...well, this is not my real life. I come on here to log my food and exercise. I visit the forums when I have a specific question or, yeah, when I am bored and wondering who is attacking who today. The forums are informational or entertaining, depending on what I need to get out of them that day.

However, I do avoid certain members. If I see their name in a thread, I just back out and move on. I've learned that no matter how accurate some people may be, I just don't like them so I don't bother with them.

Not sure if you're aware or not, but you can block members. Just use the little arrow button next to their user name in a thread they've posted in.

Good to know. Hate to have another experience ruined by the dysfunctional. That way but for the grace go I, you know. I'm here recovering from liver disease, and the last thing I need is to hear people justify venting anger and alcoholism, and stumping for factory farmed/sugar industry cao dung. I do hate to see them hazing the newbs, but I have to take care of me first. Thanks. :flowerforyou:

You may want to check out the very "nice" groups on here. They swear that they will not be mean to anyone. You can connect with them and not be bothered by the "meanies" (although they are knowlegeable) and have a better experience here. The main board is for the strong of heart---and other things.

i think that the reason a lot of people disagree about certain foods is that they simply have different goals, which is ok, but they are getting them mixed up. some people are all about the best possible health they can be in and some people are only about losing weight, some are in the middle.
ofc you can still lose weight on pizza, microwave foods, sugar and other foods that are being demonised but its just not as overall healthy as cooking from scratch with high quality whole foods. i think that is that whole point they are trying to make. noone said you cant lose weight eating candy. :laugh: noone said everyone has to give it up, but some people choose to and thats ok too.

also, i dont think anyone called straight forward, truth posting people mean. its the little jabs and condescending remarks, the ridiculing and sometimes pretentious demeanor that puts people on defense, not having their truth destroyed. they do come here for advice, just not for the crap that sadly often comes with it.

I love the way rude, mean people justify their behaviors. There is no justifiable reason why you have to be rude and mean, in my opinion.

*holds up a mirror for you*

If you don't like the mean people, or you think the forums are too negative, maybe since most of you that are complaining currently have been here for under 3 months.. take some time and see exactly how much these mean people actually do to help.

I fit that criteria. I just don't see how being mean is helpful. It's like with religion or politics. You try to shove your beliefs, be they right or wrong, down someone's throat in a mean and holier-than-thou manner and you will rarely get them to even listen to your point, much less consider it objectively.

But, present that point in a friendly, helpful, manner, and the resonse may be quite different.

Not always, certainly, because the person to which you are replying may be a mean person themselves. But, someone really seeking to learn. Someone open to alternatives, is likely to pay more heed to a nice post than a rude or snarky one.

And, if someone chooses not to take your advice, that's really not a reason to be mean either. Everyone must follow their own path, be it wrong or right.

Most of the time, it's not just choosing not to take advice. It's touting wild claims about miracle diets and insisting they work and/or tell other people their perfectly find diets are wrong. That needs to be corrected, if not for the OP then for others here lurking.

And if you spend more time around here you would start to learn the personalities and you would understand that, for the most part, no one is being mean.

If you don't like the mean people, or you think the forums are too negative, maybe since most of you that are complaining currently have been here for under 3 months.. take some time and see exactly how much these mean people actually do to help.

I fit that criteria. I just don't see how being mean is helpful. It's like with religion or politics. You try to shove your beliefs, be they right or wrong, down someone's throat in a mean and holier-than-thou manner and you will rarely get them to even listen to your point, much less consider it objectively.

But, present that point in a friendly, helpful, manner, and the resonse may be quite different.

Not always, certainly, because the person to which you are replying may be a mean person themselves. But, someone really seeking to learn. Someone open to alternatives, is likely to pay more heed to a nice post than a rude or snarky one.

And, if someone chooses not to take your advice, that's really not a reason to be mean either. Everyone must follow their own path, be it wrong or right.

Alright I'll give you an example.... Someone posts about advice on detoxing... I respond not necessary save your money with a link she could get more information... OP comes back and calls me a smart *kitten*.

Did I run off and create a mean people thread - No.... did I get my feelings hurt - No... Did I attempt to give her information that answered her question.. Yes

The other part of this is what is considered mean? Most of what people perceive as mean, is what they implied was said and is usually saying your idea is bad.. they didn't say you were bad or stupid, but the idea might be stupid.

People taking their time to answer questions is helpful enough, now you are going to tell people how they must do it.

Because those mean people took the time to explain and dispel the myths I believed most of my adult life, is a big part of why I have succeeded this time. I'm going to leave a link for you it's my success story and maybe just maybe that will help you understand.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1335478-113-lbs-lost-in-18-months-thank-you-mean-people?hl=18+months&page=1

It's like with religion or politics. You try to shove your beliefs, be they right or wrong, down someone's throat in a mean and holier-than-thou manner and you will rarely get them to even listen to your point, much less consider it objectively.

except those are beliefs.

a lot of the mean folks dispel myths with science.

facts.

you can be any denomination or political affiliation... but you're gonna lose weight the same way as others. Calorie deficit.