Has anyone ever been dumped because of their weight?

tayleigh4
tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
edited November 12 in Motivation and Support
2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I am 'too fat for him.' He is 170 pounds and 6'3. I WAS 192.2 pounds and 5'3. Right now I'm 174.4 pounds. He said that for the past few months he lost all attraction towards me, he said I was too fat and I need to lose weight. Has anyone else ever been broken up with because their partner wasn't attracted to them/because of their weight? It is a horrible feeling, but he opened my eyes on my health.
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Replies

  • swimn10s
    swimn10s Posts: 4 Member
    Hey Tayant4. I think your ex needs glasses cause you look really cute to me :-). That being said I agree with lessismoreohi. Take it as his own shallowness, and you shouldn't want to be with someone who judges you as a person based on your weight.
  • keshabbaker
    keshabbaker Posts: 152 Member
    You are better off without him. You should lose weight for yourself and never for anyone else. There plenty of fish in the sea and believe me they like girls in all different shapes and sizes. Get healthy don't worry about your weight just eat right and exercise. He doesn't deserve you and he is the one who will be missing out. Let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!!!!!!!
  • thunderthighs0585
    thunderthighs0585 Posts: 1 Member
    Actually, I was dating back in the day when I was skinny and I was told by more than one of my dates that I was too skinny. Now that I have gained weight I have had no complaints. Guys like a little more...
    But I agree with lessismoreohio, your ex-boyfriend's comments are a reflection of his immaturity rather than your appearance.
  • oremus1
    oremus1 Posts: 100 Member
    how can he love yu for richer/pooer in sickness/health if he cant handle a bit of flab
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
    Yes.. I had had our second baby in two years and was 30lbs heavier, while still nursing our youngest.

    "I was everything he wanted in a woman; kind, giving, sweet.... but not pretty enough"......................

    I lost the 30lbs within 6 weeks of stopping nursings once my hormones regulated (I was eating healthy and working out as I did pre-pregnancy, but the human body is a complex machine). I then lost another 15...

    and the best part is, my part time fitness instructor ex... has gained every one of those 30lbs I lost...

    so, yeah...... it blows people's mind.
  • _BearNecessities_
    _BearNecessities_ Posts: 432 Member
    What you describe is more a reflection of his shallowness and immaturity than it is of your weight.

    He sounds like a bully and you may be better off without him.

    I agree with the first part of this. OP, your ex is an idiot. Good riddance.

    The second part, however, I could not disagree more with. "Bully" is a term that is used WAY too easily in this day and age. OP's ex is a jerk and a turd, but nothing in that OP suggests bullying.
    Actually, I was dating back in the day when I was skinny and I was told by more than one of my dates that I was too skinny. Now that I have gained weight I have had no complaints. Guys like a little more...

    Not necessarily. Depends on the guy. Shockingly, we all like different things.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    What you describe is more a reflection of his shallowness and immaturity than it is of your weight.

    He sounds like a bully and you may be better off without him.

    I agree with the first part of this. OP, your ex is an idiot. Good riddance.

    The second part, however, I could not disagree more with. "Bully" is a term that is used WAY too easily in this day and age. OP's ex is a jerk and a turd, but nothing in that OP suggests bullying.
    Actually, I was dating back in the day when I was skinny and I was told by more than one of my dates that I was too skinny. Now that I have gained weight I have had no complaints. Guys like a little more...

    Not necessarily. Depends on the guy. Shockingly, we all like different things.

    Say it ain't so!

    tumblr_lvov0vJPZY1r4mur8o1_400.gif
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    No I have not.

    I have had sex withheld though. That was mature.
  • XX_Miss_RoseMary_XX
    XX_Miss_RoseMary_XX Posts: 274 Member
    Oh hell no. I have put on 80lbs since meeting my husband 6 years ago. He still thinks I'm beautiful. Though I am losing weight but that is more for me than him.

    You need someone who loves you for you.
  • HeidiCooksSupper
    HeidiCooksSupper Posts: 3,836 Member
    Sure, but I dated a plethora of guys over the course of my 42 years of hunting for Mr. Right (to whom I am now blissfully wed). In this case, though, it sounds like he felt he needed a "parting shot" to make it your fault not his that he was bailing out.

    T'is always better to be the dumper than the dumpee. Sadly, we take our chances when we embark upon relationships. Some end with a handshake; some (like this one of yours) end when someone decides to be an *kitten* on his way out the door.

    Illigitimi non carborundum -- ersatz Latin for "Don't let the *kitten* grind you down."
  • _SantaClause
    _SantaClause Posts: 335 Member
    Yep.

    Her doing it was the wake up call I needed. I wasn't treating myself the way I should have been. Of course, there were some other circumstances as well.

    We are still friends to this day, and my life is 100x better because of her.
  • dMonster01
    dMonster01 Posts: 214 Member
    You can't really blame him. Without attraction a relationship is doomed, at least he was honest about it. Hurtful, yes, but it would hurt a lot more to be with someone who doesn't find you attractive.
  • ILoveMyHotFatBody
    ILoveMyHotFatBody Posts: 10 Member
    It's bizarre that he would leave you for "being too fat" even though he started dating you when you were 20 pounds heavier.

    Here's an interesting fact (and I'm going to preface this by saying that, based on your picture, you are extremely pretty): sometimes people are better looking when they're heavier. I'm one of them. My husband, who's been with me since we were teenagers, tells me all the time that he prefers how I look at 230 pounds (my current weight) to how I looked at 150 pounds (what I weighed when we started dating).

    In our society, we often use "fat" as a synonym for "ugly." So when someone becomes uglier to us, our knee-jerk reaction, sometimes, is to think or to say--hey, they've gotten fatter... even if, actually, they've gotten skinnier.

    So, it could be that he's less attracted to you at your new smaller weight, but he has limited vocabulary and the only descriptor he can come up with is "fat."

    Either way, it sounds like you're better off without him. He's either. a.) stupid with a tiny vocabulary, b.) shallow, or c.) both.

    You're hot. Go find someone who doesn't suck.
  • Vortex_ConQueso
    Vortex_ConQueso Posts: 97
    2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I am 'too fat for him.' He is 170 pounds and 6'3. I WAS 192.2 pounds and 5'3. Right now I'm 174.4 pounds. He said that for the past few months he lost all attraction towards me, he said I was too fat and I need to lose weight. Has anyone else ever been broken up with because their partner wasn't attracted to them/because of their weight? It is a horrible feeling, but he opened my eyes on my health.

    You lost 17.8 lbs in two weeks? Wow! That's really impressive! And while his actions suck, when you're done and he's all hot and bothered, you can tell him he's too much of a douche for you to be attracted to him!
  • _BearNecessities_
    _BearNecessities_ Posts: 432 Member
    You can't really blame him. Without attraction a relationship is doomed, at least he was honest about it. Hurtful, yes, but it would hurt a lot more to be with someone who doesn't find you attractive.

    BULLY!!!!!!!!! :angry:
  • ILoveMyHotFatBody
    ILoveMyHotFatBody Posts: 10 Member
    Actually, I was dating back in the day when I was skinny and I was told by more than one of my dates that I was too skinny. Now that I have gained weight I have had no complaints. Guys like a little more...
    But I agree with lessismoreohio, your ex-boyfriend's comments are a reflection of his immaturity rather than your appearance.

    Right on.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    I was doing an overhead squat the other day and lost my balance and had to dump the weight, so yeah. .

    wait. .wut?
  • eranganm8
    eranganm8 Posts: 37 Member
    Yeah I was... not directly but indirectly... his parents were so envious of our relationship b'coz I was too fat and too dark.. and he took his parents opinion and dumped me.. (what he said was he had no problem with my appearance but he cannot go against his parents wishes) I loved him so very much and I couldn't get over him for 3 years now. for about a year I did stress eating and became huge.. then he hooked up with another girl,and his parents didn't like her too.. but he married her against his parents wishes. so I guess in my case he actually secretly wanted to dump me bcoz I was not good enough in his eyes. how ever last year I thought what the hell and really wanted to change myself for my own sake. I was fed up being FATTY. His parents attitudes were ringing over and over and over in my ears. I was so sad to think that he might have not loved me really. so I exchange sorrow, anger and frustration in to sweat and strength.. in a year I lost 17kgs.. last time when he saw me he was shocked to see me in average size., even all of his friends said that I was looking hot and way better than his wife.. :p and said he was an idiot to loose me.. But I don't care anymore.. now I'm so doing this for myself and myself only.and for that thing not to happen I would still be a FATTY..

    So you go girl.... make it backfire on him...
  • Kontxesi
    Kontxesi Posts: 86 Member
    I actually think that my ex was dating me BECAUSE I'm fat. (He's not exactly little, either.) He was "supportive" of me losing weight, but also trying to subtly sabotage me.... He wanted to keep me fat so I'd feel like other guys wouldn't want me.

    It's a little silly that it took him 7 months to figure out that he doesn't like bigger girls, so maybe that wasn't even his real reason? Who knows. All that's important is this: you don't need to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. There are plenty of people out there who will love you the way you are now but also be supportive of your goals to get healthier. You'll find one! :)
  • Sendyk
    Sendyk Posts: 15 Member
    I was doing an overhead squat the other day and lost my balance and had to dump the weight, so yeah. .

    wait. .wut?

    LOL. Nice.
  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
    No, I got fat after I was married. However after I lost my gut she opted to replace the wedding band I lost 33 years ago.
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
    Thank you EVERYONE for your kind words. And thank you to the sarcastic *kitten*.
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
    Success is the best revenge.

    I totally agree!! Xo.
  • tayleigh4
    tayleigh4 Posts: 90 Member
    It seems strange that he would date you for 7 months and then when you are losing weight decide that he thinks you are too heavy. It's a late reaction, right?

    Regardless, I am sorry that you are going through this. Keep taking care of yourself and don't let it get you off track. You are doing great.

    I thought the same thing myself! Like why date someone if you're not attracted to them in the first place? He clearly has problems. I have been doing so well with my mental & physical health. Thank you so much. 47 pounds, that's amazing!! Keep up your good work!!
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