Has anyone ever been dumped because of their weight?
Replies
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What you describe is more a reflection of his shallowness and immaturity than it is of your weight.
He sounds like a bully and you may be better off without him.
Quoted for the MF'ing truth.
You're better off without him. It's a fact.
You continue doing what you're doing, stay strong!1 -
What you describe is more a reflection of his shallowness and immaturity than it is of your weight.
He sounds like a bully and you may be better off without him.
Quoted for the MF'ing truth.
You're better off without him. It's a fact.
You continue doing what you're doing, stay strong!
Thank you
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Kind of. I had gone out on a couple of dates with this guy who was a total tool anyway and I was about to end it (except I was going to be nice and not flat out say I'm sorry but you're way too much of a douche for me..) but he told me he liked "bigger" girls, but I was bigger than what he was used to so he was going to not see me anymore.
Then I got my breast reduction and he saw a picture of me and texted me and said he thought I was super hot now that I lost weight. I told him I had my boobs chopped off and he could stop stalking my facebook (beacuse we weren't friends) and not talk to me.
Wow. I'm glad you didn't let him back into your life
you're gorgeous btw!
Thank you! And yes I am too glad I didn't let him back in. Well it wasn't hard letting him go because there was the too big comment, and he flat out told me that he cheated on his last girlfriend, got HPV from the girl he cheated on her with and then gave it to his girlfriend. Oh and he had a porn addiction and had issues...um...."rising" to the challenge without porn. He offered up all this information to me on our 2nd date while I'm enjoying some awesome Mexican food. The cheating thing killed me. No thanks.0 -
ouch, well youre better off sounds like he's not the type you'd want long term. You want a man who realizes beauty fades and is happy with you even when you are senile and he's wiping your bottom and the pudding from your chin.0
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No I have not.
I have had sex withheld though. That was mature.
Yeah, he also told me that our sex was a 4/10 and it would be better if I was skinny. Lol.
Duuuude that's so not cool. If anyone ever suggests again that poor sex is your fault, inform them it's definitely an "it takes two" activity and the fault is likely his. As for his claiming your weight affecting it, he may have been watching too much porn to know how to have sex in real life. It happens. You're gorgeous, and he's dumb.0 -
Kind of. I had gone out on a couple of dates with this guy who was a total tool anyway and I was about to end it (except I was going to be nice and not flat out say I'm sorry but you're way too much of a douche for me..) but he told me he liked "bigger" girls, but I was bigger than what he was used to so he was going to not see me anymore.
Then I got my breast reduction and he saw a picture of me and texted me and said he thought I was super hot now that I lost weight. I told him I had my boobs chopped off and he could stop stalking my facebook (beacuse we weren't friends) and not talk to me.
Wow. I'm glad you didn't let him back into your life you're gorgeous btw!
Thank you! And yes I am too glad I didn't let him back in. Well it wasn't hard letting him go because there was the too big comment, and he flat out told me that he cheated on his last girlfriend, got HPV from the girl he cheated on her with and then gave it to his girlfriend. Oh and he had a porn addiction and had issues...um...."rising" to the challenge without porn. He offered up all this information to me on our 2nd date while I'm enjoying some awesome Mexican food. The cheating thing killed me. No thanks.
Wow that is gross. At least he was honest about everything!0 -
ouch, well youre better off sounds like he's not the type you'd want long term. You want a man who realizes beauty fades and is happy with you even when you are senile and he's wiping your bottom and the pudding from your chin.
Exactly!! 0 -
No I have not.
I have had sex withheld though. That was mature.
Yeah, he also told me that our sex was a 4/10 and it would be better if I was skinny. Lol.
Duuuude that's so not cool. If anyone ever suggests again that poor sex is your fault, inform them it's definitely an "it takes two" activity and the fault is likely his. As for his claiming your weight affecting it, he may have been watching too much porn to know how to have sex in real life. It happens. You're gorgeous, and he's dumb.
He was single for 4 years & addicted to porn before we dated, so that could be a reason. Thank you so much 0 -
Yeah I was an Aussie size16, 19 years old, had only had a baby 5 months before and was eventually told 3 week after we started dating that "I don't date fat girls & I only want a size 12"
Yeah ok... this from a guy who throws up at the thought of being with a woman let alone kissing them? This from a man who at the age of 24 wets the bed at night? Someone who's idea of a weekend away is going to the country to check out their ice-skating rink so he can have me & my son sit & watch him for hours ....we didn't have anything warm on either cause it was the middle of summer & I'd packed both of us for summer weather...it was 40c outside.
This from a guy who on the day I met him (at an ice-rink) asked me to marry him. ....his family thought he was gay & refused to support him any longer if he didn't get married..... I guess I was an easy target back then.
I was more than ok to not see him again, but be damned if I was fat. I was in better shape than him.0 -
Yeah I was an Aussie size16, 19 years old, had only had a baby 5 months before and was eventually told 3 week after we started dating that "I don't date fat girls & I only want a size 12"
Yeah ok... this from a guy who throws up at the thought of being with a woman let alone kissing them? This from a man who at the age of 24 wets the bed at night? Someone who's idea of a weekend away is going to the country to check out their ice-skating rink so he can have me & my son sit & watch him for hours ....we didn't have anything warm on either cause it was the middle of summer & I'd packed both of us for summer weather...it was 40c outside.
This from a guy who on the day I met him (at an ice-rink) asked me to marry him. ....his family thought he was gay & refused to support him any longer if he didn't get married..... I guess I was an easy target back then.
I was more than ok to not see him again, but be damned if I was fat. I was in better shape than him.
Wow you are so much better than that. Don't ever let a man treat you like that again. You deserve the world. And you are not fat!0 -
Anyone that dumps someone because of their weight doesn't deserve that person and has no idea about the meaning of love. Personally, I have never been dumped because of my weight but if you love someone you love someone.. You wouldn't just dump them because they'd put on weight. It's ignorant and immature. So don't worry about it OP you're better off without him.0
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I am working towards that...if I lose enough maybe she will leave....0
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Yeah I was an Aussie size16, 19 years old, had only had a baby 5 months before and was eventually told 3 week after we started dating that "I don't date fat girls & I only want a size 12"
Yeah ok... this from a guy who throws up at the thought of being with a woman let alone kissing them? This from a man who at the age of 24 wets the bed at night? Someone who's idea of a weekend away is going to the country to check out their ice-skating rink so he can have me & my son sit & watch him for hours ....we didn't have anything warm on either cause it was the middle of summer & I'd packed both of us for summer weather...it was 40c outside.
This from a guy who on the day I met him (at an ice-rink) asked me to marry him. ....his family thought he was gay & refused to support him any longer if he didn't get married..... I guess I was an easy target back then.
I was more than ok to not see him again, but be damned if I was fat. I was in better shape than him.
And don't ever blame yourself! He has so many issues.0 -
Anyone that dumps someone because of their weight doesn't deserve that person and has no idea about the meaning of love. Personally, I have never been dumped because of my weight but if you love someone you love someone.. You wouldn't just dump them because they'd put on weight. It's ignorant and immature. So don't worry about it OP you're better off without him.
Thank you so much, it is clear he did not love me. I deserve better 0 -
I am working towards that...if I lose enough maybe she will leave....
Can't tell if this is sarcasm or not.0 -
Never been dumped since I've never had a girlfriend, though my weight has played a role in that status.
Your ex-boyfriend sounds very shallow to have said that. You deserve better.0 -
Never been dumped since I've never had a girlfriend, though my weight has played a role in that status.
Your ex-boyfriend sounds very shallow to have said that. You deserve better.
Be patient. There is a great girl out there waiting for you. You deserve an amazing person too!!0 -
It's weird that it tends to happen that way. I've just been dumped, and I was just about to make some changes in my life to make myself happier (and in a better mood).0
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It's weird that it tends to happen that way. I've just been dumped, and I was just about to make some changes in my life to make myself happier (and in a better mood).
It truly stinks, but we just have to move on and look forward to the future!! 0 -
No I have not.
I have had sex withheld though. That was mature.
Yeah, he also told me that our sex was a 4/10 and it would be better if I was skinny. Lol.
Duuuude that's so not cool. If anyone ever suggests again that poor sex is your fault, inform them it's definitely an "it takes two" activity and the fault is likely his. As for his claiming your weight affecting it, he may have been watching too much porn to know how to have sex in real life. It happens. You're gorgeous, and he's dumb.
He was single for 4 years & addicted to porn before we dated, so that could be a reason. Thank you so much
hahaha. Porn addiction. Watch Don Jon. It is a fictional comedy, but man it is so true. There was a stint where I went over 2 years wtihout action in the sack, and it got me through it, but I never became addicted. I just never had any luck with any women in that time. Never stopped trying, though. So with that new fact, I would say that that was the case and had nothing to do with your weight. It was just the excuse. Guys who get addicted to porn do not like real sex as much, unless the woman is...for lack of a better term...as active as the girl in the porn. There is sort of a letdown factor, if the partner isn't as active like in them vids. It is a pseudophysiological thing. If yall aren't on the same page on that topic, regardless of the porn addiction,then it wouldn't have worked for very long anyways.In any case, it has nothing to do with weight, I promise you. I will spare the details of why. But watch that movie, it explains it.0 -
frankly that's his lose. I wouldn't want to be with someone who was that into looks. Granted, yes, you need to be sexually attracted to your partner and honestly it wouldn't be fair of either of you to "stick it out" until the other lost weight. Your story strikes me that maybe he was cheating on you and used the weight as an excuse? Doesn't make it right but it could explain it. That's just another sign it wasn't meant to be hunny. :flowerforyou:
Best advice I can give you is be with someone who doesn't need "fixing". If you go into a relationship feeling like "oh this person would be perfect if only they changed...." MOVE ON. Most people don't change and if they do it might not always be for the best.
And for what it's worth, I would totally date you :laugh: seeing as how I'm married, female, and across the country... yeah probably wouldn't work out for us! :laugh:
:smooched: 0 -
No I have not.
I have had sex withheld though. That was mature.
Yeah, he also told me that our sex was a 4/10 and it would be better if I was skinny. Lol.
Duuuude that's so not cool. If anyone ever suggests again that poor sex is your fault, inform them it's definitely an "it takes two" activity and the fault is likely his. As for his claiming your weight affecting it, he may have been watching too much porn to know how to have sex in real life. It happens. You're gorgeous, and he's dumb.
He was single for 4 years & addicted to porn before we dated, so that could be a reason. Thank you so much
hahaha. Porn addiction. Watch Don Jon. It is a fictional comedy, but man it is so true. There was a stint where I went over 2 years wtihout action in the sack, and it got me through it, but I never became addicted. I just never had any luck with any women in that time. Never stopped trying, though. So with that new fact, I would say that that was the case and had nothing to do with your weight. It was just the excuse. Guys who get addicted to porn do not like real sex as much, unless the woman is...for lack of a better term...as active as the girl in the porn. There is sort of a letdown factor, if the partner isn't as active like in them vids. It is a pseudophysiological thing. If yall aren't on the same page on that topic, regardless of the porn addiction,then it wouldn't have worked for very long anyways.In any case, it has nothing to do with weight, I promise you. I will spare the details of why. But watch that movie, it explains it.
Ah I see. He very well might just have unrealistic expectations of women. I will watch it when I get the chance, thank you!0 -
frankly that's his lose. I wouldn't want to be with someone who was that into looks. Granted, yes, you need to be sexually attracted to your partner and honestly it wouldn't be fair of either of you to "stick it out" until the other lost weight. Your story strikes me that maybe he was cheating on you and used the weight as an excuse? Doesn't make it right but it could explain it. That's just another sign it wasn't meant to be hunny. :flowerforyou:
Best advice I can give you is be with someone who doesn't need "fixing". If you go into a relationship feeling like "oh this person would be perfect if only they changed...." MOVE ON. Most people don't change and if they do it might not always be for the best.
And for what it's worth, I would totally date you :laugh: seeing as how I'm married, female, and across the country... yeah probably wouldn't work out for us! :laugh: :smooched:
He is def not the type of person to cheat, for that I know 100%. That could be a reason though in many cases. And I agree, why "wait" to be attracted to someone until they lose weight etc.. Go into the relationship liking them for exactly who they are! And lol! You're awesome, thank you
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Just remember that people lie. Especially if they are an insecure person. I had a guy at work today tell me about how beautiful and amazing and wonderful this girl he's "banging" is but because she put that she was in a relationship with him on FB he decided he was "bored" with her and was going to break up with her. It's a load of crap! He was just insecure and scared that it was moving to the next level.
I'm sure it had nothing to do with your weight. If it did, why would he have started dating you in the first place if you were "so fat?" I'm sure it had nothing to do with you and was his own insecurities. Every day you learn annoying things about the other person you're dating and if all he could come up with is that you're too big for him then he couldn't actually come up with anything real.
It's HIS loss, NOT yours! Don't ever let anyone treat you like that. No one deserves that- no one.0 -
When my ex-husband and I were talking about trying again, he said to me "I've always loved you in spite of your weight". Another good one was one night we were having dinner and he's gained a few kgs since he turned 40 - he says to me "if I keep going like this I'll weigh as much as you in 12 months".
Needless to say, we did not give things another try, and I'm now happy with my current partner who does not even see my weight.0 -
My fiance many years ago, cheated on me with a married woman we had both just met at a car show. He never told me to my face but I'd read some of his messages to her, fat shaming me and discussing the details of their affairs.... =/
He wanted to stay with me because the affair with the married woman was "just a fling", and I was the only one working and paying rent, bills, his cellphone bill etc... I was basically his meal ticket. He had no love left for me. He just needed my resources. D*mn straight I broke up with him. It was so hard to do too, after years of thinking you know a person...introducing them to your family and friends, your church etc...
To make it worse the woman he cheated on me with had the audacity to send me nasty text messages about how she "would've told me what they were doing to my face but was afraid i'd eat her (oink oink)" !! All kinds of nasty messages..
So what did I do? I found her husband (who was out of town on a business trip while she's driving around his mustang and cheating on him) on facebook, sent him a detailed message about what happened. I sent him logs and screen caps of their conversations too.
Few days later the woman blows up my phone with texts again. Death threats for messaging her husband, saying she's going to "throw my fat *** in a wood chipper" and she knows where I work etc..
She actually did end up coming to my job. Thankfully it was after we were closed and I was walking through the parking lot to my car. I guess it could've turned out a lot worse than it did. She could've had a gun or knife, could've brought a gang of people to beat me up etc. But it was just her, she attacked me. I dropped her like a sack of potatoes, twisted her arm behind her back at sat on it until the police got there. So in the end she was left with a divorce and a criminal record.4 -
Definitely think it is his loss as you are very attractive and no one should really be dumped just because of their weight, he probably used it as an excuse as too cowardly to tell you how he truly felt to your face, so to speak.
I have never been dumped due to my weight, as for most of my life I have been in reasonable shape, but due to my diabetes flaring up and having to go onto insulin and a very bad break up with my ex involving an 18 month court case in order to be able to see my daughter I literally ballooned over night and gained well over 35kgs.
After the court case was sorted and I was in a better place I started going out again, but pretty much every woman I talked to would either turn away from me without so much of a word, look in disgust at my gut or basically tell me to 'get my fat *kitten* away from them'.
It put me off trying to meet anyone new and I stopped going out. Roll on 9 months, no longer on insulin, diet under control and a serious gym addiction has led to 32kg weight loss and with me looking in the best shape of my life to the fact that I get compliments in the gym and asked for advice (I love having muscles now) I decided it was time to go back out.
It was a friends birthday and I had no intention of trying to meet anyone but I did get hit on several times over the night, comments made like 'you must work out' etc and lots of inappropriate fondling and although it was an ego boost it did reaffirm to me that the human race, wether male or female are relatively shallow at heart.
Anyway, you can do much better and will no doubt find a man who will appreciate you for who you are and find you attractive no matter what state your body is in. I have found a woman like that and I must say it is great to find someone who loves you for just being you no matter what.0 -
I'm not sure if I'm allowed to swear on here but that vile person disgusts me! *hugs*
As someone else mentioned it's a bad reflection on him, not of you. Never feel like you have to change for someone else, only ever do it for yourself. If you're happy with the way you are don't let someone as horrible as that make you change yourself.
There's plenty of people who will love and support you for who you are. If he can't, then that's his loss x1 -
It did happen to me once. She said she needed a man who would "look after himself".
I was really upset at the time. But it was never to be. I moved on.
I'm glad I did go out with her for a summer, but actually I dodged a massive bullet. She was very immature. And a terrible game player, even though she was really nice as a person. I hope she has a nice life.
The woman I'm with now is 100 times better. So please, OP, I know you must ne hurting now, but please don't let him make you bitter.1 -
I dumped my ex for a few reasons, and one of them was that he wouldn't let up about my own weight...
Pushing me into Atkins diets and never letting me forget I was overweight ("You float when you swim because you're fat" - not due to physics or anything...) and other such stuff. Absolutely killed me; caused me to actually gain about 10kg while "dieting" because I kept relapsing due to lack of support/desire to diet and being forced into it.
He was underweight. I never mentioned it (or at least, never negatively)... needless to say someone making you feel crap for whatever reason isn't worth your time or emotions. Just a shame it takes some of us so long to realise that
*hugs for all* 0
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