MFP has really changed

Same as it ever was... same as it ever was....

I'm not telling anyone not to give their opinion. That's part of the reason we are all here...the help of others. I'm just saying be kind about it. I've read several post and truly felt bad for the OP. It's unnecessary to be rude when giving an opinion. We all should keep our fat hearts not our fat *kitten* (shout out to Fat Amy).
PS...for those of you who missed the point of my post and want to know why I said three years and and my Joined date is Sept 2014 it's because I took a break and came back. Glad you caught that one because that was the point I was trying to make after all. :happy:

Can you please give us a specific example from the thread that you think is rude and mean? Maybe we can sort out where the poster was coming from because, honestly, nothing in that thread popped up as mean to me. The OP got a bit defensive and people reacted to it.

This site doesn't suck because of the group of people that sprinkle their knowledge where it needs to be sprinkled, it's ruined by people who try too hard to take everything personally. People who want to find something to complain about and find a way to be upset.

THIS.

I spent a while actually crafting a response in another thread a while back, making sure I used "I/me/my/mine" and what I found solved MY problem, and "YMMV" and all that PC stuff, only to be immediately responded to by someone who thought I was telling them what the hell to do.

Jesus, take things personally much?

I just throw up my hands and walk away after that.

And lots of people do that way too often because they don't see the point.

I keep offering my opinions, experiences, and advice because I hope someone reading my posts but not posting will maybe take them to heart and try them out. I don't necessarily post just for the OP, my friends, or anyone else, but I'm also posting for someone who has a question about something that they don't know how or are too afraid to ask. It's almost never because of one specific person that I offer advice.

Well, it's pretty clear I will be sticking to the GROUPS and not using the forums.... Mean people suck!!

These "mean people" will offer you unbiased knowledge on questions that matter and might make a difference to your weight loss and success. They've been around and know a thing or two. So, your loss. Or un-loss once you hit a plateau but don't trust the meanies to ask a question and get some help.

This! I surround myself with the people that are constantly labelled as mean for giving sound and unbiased advice... They are honestly the sweetest and most caring group of people on here... they aren't fake and won't validate people's crap... having a low BS tolerance does not make people mean...

You want mean, join a mommy forum and discuss whether or not you should vaccinate your kid...

Or how to use or supplement with forumla since BF'ing just isn't working out

Oh yeah! I forgot that one!

I'm not telling anyone not to give their opinion. That's part of the reason we are all here...the help of others. I'm just saying be kind about it. I've read several post and truly felt bad for the OP. It's unnecessary to be rude when giving an opinion. We all should keep our fat hearts not our fat *kitten* (shout out to Fat Amy).
PS...for those of you who missed the point of my post and want to know why I said three years and and my Joined date is Sept 2014 it's because I took a break and came back. Glad you caught that one because that was the point I was trying to make after all. :happy:

People weren't mean in that thread

blunt and honest =/= mean or rude.

The OP now…that's a different story.

This is really all about perception. These are just words on a screen and they have no meaning until YOU put meaning to them. You impose your perception on them. If you don't like someone who was just blunt and honest then they are then 'mean'. When all they did was type an honest answer. No one is here to coddle or blow smoke up anyone's butt.

When posting in the forums one should be OPEN to ALL opinions. Take their perception and emotion out of it and really just read the answers for what they are, answers/opinions. They need not get so emotional over someone else's response who took time out of their day to try to help only to later be called mean.

I've seen some mean threads, and I've called out people when they were actually rude/mean. As these people should be called out in the threads that it happens in. Not making a brand new thread complaining about who YOU perceived to be mean. These kinds of threads telling everyone to be nice happen all the time. ALL THE TIME. When the reality is, the OP's get mean and defensive because they are not getting told what they want to hear.

I actually used to run an internet forum with about 900ish users. In the beginning, nobody knows each other and everyone is, for the most part, reasonably polite. They are on their best behavior while they feel things out. Once people start to get to know each other they tend to loosen up a bit and form cliques, in a sense. Once this happens (and it has happened here, I can see it), newbies or less active users start to feel out of the loop. And when it is obvious that a lot of the people know each other and are bouncing snarky remarks off each other, or sharing inside jokes, others start to feel like outsiders and take is as "mean".

Just my opinion from 3 years of owning and moderating a very active forum.

But that's not the fault of the majority. I'm serious, if you approach anyone that's part of a "clique" on this site, they will try to help you. A lot of them will give you any advice they can and welcome you to their friends list if you ask properly.

On the other hand, if you respond to their genuine attempt to help you with an attitude, yeah, they're probably not going to like that. Most people wouldn't. So many people on this site are unnecessarily combative when people are just trying to help.

So I'm relatively new to MFP (I made an account a while ago but didn't really use it), but I've seen mostly supportive threads in my short time here. That being said, if a user was going to log "dusting the mantle" for exercise (as someone suggested), there's a respectful way to be like, hey that's not going to be productive for you, and saying, what are you, an idiot?? I haven't seen that thread myself, but if you have a disagreement, it's fine to express it, but there's no good reason to do so in a mean way. If someone knows less than you, why not try to help them instead of making them feel stupid for it?

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And NO ONE called that OP an idiot or made tried to make her feel like it. She got mad when people said they didn't log it and explained why THEY didn't log it.

I'm not telling anyone not to give their opinion. That's part of the reason we are all here...the help of others. I'm just saying be kind about it. I've read several post and truly felt bad for the OP. It's unnecessary to be rude when giving an opinion. We all should keep our fat hearts not our fat *kitten* (shout out to Fat Amy).
PS...for those of you who missed the point of my post and want to know why I said three years and and my Joined date is Sept 2014 it's because I took a break and came back. Glad you caught that one because that was the point I was trying to make after all. :happy:

People communicate differently, and that's okay. If you prefer a softer touch that's probably how you'll post. Someone else prefers brutal honesty so that's how they'll post. That's fine-- it's what makes a community. If it was all sunshine and sweetness I wouldn't like it here-- it doesn't seem genuine to me if there isn't some snark/sarcasm. Just take the part you like and ignore the rest. It might be helping someone else. And it isn't really fair for someone to come in and try to police how other people post, is it?

I have seen people being rude or mean here (name calling and such) but it's not nearly as common as these threads make it sound. Usually it's just a difference in communication preferences. I'm pretty plainspoken and I don't use a ton of emoticons (also I like gifs) so I get called mean fairly often. I don't think I actually am mean. I just type the same way I speak.

I'm not telling anyone not to give their opinion. That's part of the reason we are all here...the help of others. I'm just saying be kind about it. I've read several post and truly felt bad for the OP. It's unnecessary to be rude when giving an opinion. We all should keep our fat hearts not our fat *kitten* (shout out to Fat Amy).
PS...for those of you who missed the point of my post and want to know why I said three years and and my Joined date is Sept 2014 it's because I took a break and came back. Glad you caught that one because that was the point I was trying to make after all. :happy:

Can you please give us a specific example from the thread that you think is rude and mean? Maybe we can sort out where the poster was coming from because, honestly, nothing in that thread popped up as mean to me. The OP got a bit defensive and people reacted to it.

Now, wouldn't that make me hypocrite to go and call someone out?

Truth? I think it's way more divisive to start a whole new thread with vague accusations of meanness aimed at most of the community than it is to just address a single person in a single thread.

Damnit meant to quote the guy that said he stays away from forums unless something in the recent posts catch his eye-- I do the same,, unless I am really, really, really bored and looking for entertainment--- then forum time lol


This ^^ great post though

I'm not telling anyone not to give their opinion. That's part of the reason we are all here...the help of others. I'm just saying be kind about it. I've read several post and truly felt bad for the OP. It's unnecessary to be rude when giving an opinion. We all should keep our fat hearts not our fat *kitten* (shout out to Fat Amy).
PS...for those of you who missed the point of my post and want to know why I said three years and and my Joined date is Sept 2014 it's because I took a break and came back. Glad you caught that one because that was the point I was trying to make after all. :happy:

Can you please give us a specific example from the thread that you think is rude and mean? Maybe we can sort out where the poster was coming from because, honestly, nothing in that thread popped up as mean to me. The OP got a bit defensive and people reacted to it.

Now, wouldn't that make me hypocrite to go and call someone out?

Truth? I think it's way more divisive to start a whole new thread with vague accusations of meanness aimed at most of the community than it is to just address a single person in a single thread.

Yep.

In to read later....because it is a mean people thread and the dang thing was taking up my whole wall. I tend to like the "mean" people.

This content has been removed.

I'm not telling anyone not to give their opinion. That's part of the reason we are all here...the help of others. I'm just saying be kind about it. I've read several post and truly felt bad for the OP. It's unnecessary to be rude when giving an opinion. We all should keep our fat hearts not our fat *kitten* (shout out to Fat Amy).
PS...for those of you who missed the point of my post and want to know why I said three years and and my Joined date is Sept 2014 it's because I took a break and came back. Glad you caught that one because that was the point I was trying to make after all. :happy:

Can you please give us a specific example from the thread that you think is rude and mean? Maybe we can sort out where the poster was coming from because, honestly, nothing in that thread popped up as mean to me. The OP got a bit defensive and people reacted to it.

Now, wouldn't that make me hypocrite to go and call someone out?

Isn't that exactly what you are doing in this thread to begin with? I'm just asking for specifics.