MFP has really changed

Hear, hear, OP!!

I am relatively new to the site, but I have not encountered such uncivility since Jr. High School. So many seem to revel in being called mean. They defend their right to be mean and claim they are just "helping" or they were driven to it lesser minds.

I have also noticed Jr. High type "cliques". One person will post something snarky or rude and suddenly a bunch of others start in. Often the same group. I assume these are from their 'friends' list. Because if a group is rude, then it's not really rude, right?

It's so juvenile and silly.

I guess I will have to say this again... this place is unicorns and rainbow glitter compared to the likes of Babycenter, the Knot, and Sodahead... among many others, those are just the places I have been myself... so please... join another forum and then comeback and see how uncivil this place is... Hell, there was a time where even NEOPETS was worse than this place has ever been... yes, a game website.

I am a member of three other forums (all organic farming sites). They are nothng like this. People disagree, sometimes it gets a little heated, but I've never encountered anything like this. I suppose there are moderators on those sites, though I've never known one to have to step in.

I'm not familiar with the sites you mention, but are they geared toward juveniles? .

Hear, hear, OP!!

I am relatively new to the site, but I have not encountered such uncivility since Jr. High School. So many seem to revel in being called mean. They defend their right to be mean and claim they are just "helping" or they were driven to it lesser minds.

I have also noticed Jr. High type "cliques". One person will post something snarky or rude and suddenly a bunch of others start in. Often the same group. I assume these are from their 'friends' list. Because if a group is rude, then it's not really rude, right?

It's so juvenile and silly.

I guess I will have to say this again... this place is unicorns and rainbow glitter compared to the likes of Babycenter, the Knot, and Sodahead... among many others, those are just the places I have been myself... so please... join another forum and then comeback and see how uncivil this place is... Hell, there was a time where even NEOPETS was worse than this place has ever been... yes, a game website.

I am a member of three other forums (all organic farming sites). They are nothng like this. People disagree, sometimes it gets a little heated, but I've never encountered anything like this. I suppose there are moderators on those sites, though I've never known one to have to step in.

I'm not familiar with the sites you mention, but are they geared toward juveniles? .

Dang, I must be tired today...I got halfway through the OP before I realized it was a mean people post.

This site doesn't suck because of the group of people that sprinkle their knowledge where it needs to be sprinkled, it's ruined by people who try too hard to take everything personally. People who want to find something to complain about and find a way to be upset.

THIS.

I spent a while actually crafting a response in another thread a while back, making sure I used "I/me/my/mine" and what I found solved MY problem, and "YMMV" and all that PC stuff, only to be immediately responded to by someone who thought I was telling them what the hell to do.

Jesus, take things personally much?

I just throw up my hands and walk away after that.

And lots of people do that way too often because they don't see the point.

I keep offering my opinions, experiences, and advice because I hope someone reading my posts but not posting will maybe take them to heart and try them out. I don't necessarily post just for the OP, my friends, or anyone else, but I'm also posting for someone who has a question about something that they don't know how or are too afraid to ask. It's almost never because of one specific person that I offer advice.

I started on this site for the first time about three years ago. At that time it was a wonderful place to get motivation and support. I found a lot of nice and helpful people. This site is suppose to be about supporting each other, but more and more I see people being less supportive and just down right mean. Some users seem to have an attitude that they are better because they have been a successful where another user wasn't as successful or is taking just a little more time.
I have read multiple post today where a person asked a simple question and they were ridiculed for it. One poor girl simply asked what was the difference between light cleaning and heavy cleaning. That's all she wanted to know, but there were post after post about how she shouldn't log cleaning. It's not anyone's right to tell another person what they should and shouldn't log. If I decided to log "walking to my fridge to get a snack" it's no one's business but my own.
I think some users are forgetting the reasons for a site like this. I also want to make it clear that I'm saying "some users", because there are still a lot of genuinely nice people on here.
We all need to be kind to one another. Most of us have all been in the same situation and for the few of you that have always been fit and use the site to keep track of your fitness then you need to understand that it doesn't come as easy to some as it does to you. For the ones that have been overweight and out of shape remember where you have come from and how you felt in the beginning.
It shouldn't matter if you are morbidly obese, too thin, or have never had an issue. We are all here for the same reason and that's to be the best us we can be. So, as I said before be kind to one another or you're disrespecting the site, the members, and yourself. It's fantastic to look good but real beauty still comes from within.

I'm gonna try to address this without making it a whole thing.

Yes, you can log whatever you want. But when you ask for advice, you'll get advice. And anyone who cares is gonna tell you logging things as exercise that aren't really exercise is a bad idea.

It may not be what you want to hear, but it's good advice. And that's the problem. Some people want advice, some people want to be told they're doing everything right no matter what.

I've seen people be unnecessarily rude, I've seen people be extraordinarily kind. Just like life. It's no different here. It's everyone's choice if they want to focus on the positive or the negative.

I've seen some 2 and 3 year old zombie threads where this was extremely clear: people were being super sweet and supportive, but of really horrible ideas. I'd rather have someone embarrass me, and make me think twice and do some research before trying a method that would either waste my time and money or potentially hurt me, instead of being supportive of some cockamamie fad just to make me feel good.

This site doesn't suck because of the group of people that sprinkle their knowledge where it needs to be sprinkled, it's ruined by people who try too hard to take everything personally. People who want to find something to complain about and find a way to be upset.

THIS.

I spent a while actually crafting a response in another thread a while back, making sure I used "I/me/my/mine" and what I found solved MY problem, and "YMMV" and all that PC stuff, only to be immediately responded to by someone who thought I was telling them what the hell to do.

Jesus, take things personally much?

I just throw up my hands and walk away after that.

And lots of people do that way too often because they don't see the point.

I keep offering my opinions, experiences, and advice because I hope someone reading my posts but not posting will maybe take them to heart and try them out. I don't necessarily post just for the OP, my friends, or anyone else, but I'm also posting for someone who has a question about something that they don't know how or are too afraid to ask. It's almost never because of one specific person that I offer advice.

And I'm sure you offer reasonable advice.

I saw the post he was talking about. The responder was all "how dare you....blah blah blah...about my way of eating." Utter...insanity...

It's one thing to respond with your POV, just to offer another viewpoint or more info to anyone who'd be reading it. It's another to take someone's post as a personal attack on you when it clearly wasn't and try to start *kitten*. That's what was going on.



But it's generally true that you must recognize MFP Club rules:
1st rule of MFP Club: Don't say sugar, carb, processed, junk, or clean. Ever.
2nd rule of MFP Club: If someone can take it the wrong way, they will. Murphy's cousin, I'm pretty sure.
3rd rule of MFP Club: Some people are going to bring out the snark, whether or not it is merited. Because some people just have nothing nice to say, and they keep saying it often and loudly.

It's all in how you respond. We are all just typing hands. You can only be hurt if you let them hurt you. No battles or worldly issues will be won or lost on here. Your life isn't changed one iota in reality just because some fake person on the interwebs talked mean to you. (And you can deny it all you like, but there are still jerks on here that prey on people for their entertainment.) Let it go. People, trolls, arseholes; they will be as they are. Here or in life. It is what it is.