The most common mistake women make!
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I loved the post! What a way to get to the point and explain to people that it's more important to be healthy than just skinny. That is a mindset that I have struggled with all of my life. I want to get to that end result of looking good, no matter what my body has to go through to get there. While I already have been changing my paradigm about weight-loss and healthy living, it was a good affirmation to my lifestyle change.
To jump on the bandwagon about whether or not this was offensive to women: I was not offended. I guess I can see where a woman might look at this and get caught up in the fact that it says "women" in the title. However, if someone chooses to focus on that instead of the contained information, then that is their business. I read the post as someone who wanted to see if there were things I needed to change; as someone who realizes that I do not have all the answers for weight loss and who would like to learn more. I did not read it as a woman, but as a learner. I did not read it realizing a man wrote it. Once I found out that the author was a man, I didn't automatically discard the information.
If you are a man and you know more than me about a subject I do not consider it sexist or offensive if you give me information.0 -
I guess I'm in the 10% of women on this site NOT offended.
im not offended
Ditto! Great post.0 -
I am an empathetic person by nature but a straight shooter and yes I fully admit that at times I type or think faster than my thoughts will allow me to correct things. I was a little frustrated when I wrote it after getting about 30 emails from women asking for advice and looking time and again and seeing the common pitfalls made. So i will apologize and admit that I could have worded it differently.
Thank you, that's gracious. And I believe you're fundamentally right, mind you -- I myself don't understand the drive to do this in extremes, and it's surely counterproductive. I've been losing very steadily with a goal set to 1500.0 -
I'm not offended either. I actually agree that it is probably more prevalent in women then in men. The last time I lost weight (12 years ago
) I got discouraged because I was working out like crazy and eating salad and stir fry veggies and getting nowhere so I would then binge on some stupid food and finally fell back into my old eating patterns.
I hope that this time will stick better and give me the balance that I need.0 -
Not offended, in fact ...I could care less who wrote this post... it has helped me! I am def. one of those women have been not eating enough...around 900 calories and working out twice a day for the last 8 months... I have lost 50 pounds... however I have stalled for the last few months and I'm not seeing any changes... Upon research... I find I am not eating nearly enough... thanks for this post... it reassured me that I do need to fuel my body... I have to get my mind into the right place now and stop thinking eating is bad.... so hard...
Thanks so much for the information!0 -
Amen brother - I'm one of the ones who learned this leasson the hard way..... 0 -
Oooh... a hot topic here. Actually, I only eat baout 900 calories a day... and come well below 1200. (ofcourse I did have a gastric sleeve surgery in December, so the thought of eating 1200 calories a day is like ludicrous, I'd be eating all day long!)
In fact though, this is why I do believe you are wrong. It isn't about the calories... true our bodies go into starvation mode if we don't get enough protein. Not only that, our hair falls out, our nails don't grow, and we get sunken, shallow cheeks as well as dark circles around our eyes. I know this, because even though I gagged on my protein initially after surgery, I took it. Thank goodness, I didn't want to lose any hair...as it's my best physical trait, imo.
Anyway, my point is... this is the basis of gastric sleeve surgery. There isn't any malabsorption in this surgery. All the surgeon does is remove most of your stomach, requiring you to eat drastically less, therefore your caloric intake is drastically cut... and ta-da you lose weight while feeling full, etc.
So... that being said... I started my journey in August 2010 with my blood pressure at 194/103 --- went to the doctor... she said... cut your sodium to under 2000 mg a day, exercise 30 minutes 5 days a week... see me in 2 weeks, if you still have high blood pressure, we'll put you on medication. Oh... and I had to cut out caffeine and carbonated beverages too.
I did what she said, my blood pressure was 120/80 and I lost 8 lbs in 2 weeks. I kept doing JUST That. By the time my surgery was scheduled, I'd lost 20+ lbs.
Now, I'm down a total of 62 lbs total. Breaking the 200 mark a few short weeks ago.
How? Sure you can say it was surgery, right? But essentially the only thing surgery has done is made me eat less... a LOT less... with my calorie intake ranging from 600 to 900 calories a day...
So if your theory is right... and it is ALL about calories... why am I down 62 lbs?0 -
in the extreme cases such as yours there are always exceptions to the rules, and in your case with so much to lose then you can do so safely, but the bulk of the women whom I have seen making this mistake have at most 30 or so to lose. When you are lowered to such an extreme I would be willing to bet that there is a pretty strict diet plan to adhere to ensuring that you are getting the nutrition required and if there is not then I fell sorry for you as you will not succeed long term. I personally believe in a strong work ethic coupled with the right knowledge to achieve maximum results. In extreme cases the rules need to be bent but with the direct supervision of a doc or a nutritionist. It takes a tremendous amount of energy for an overweight person to do daily activities and when you couple that with the right diet then weight loss is inevitable. I did not state that the rule applies to everyone. I have also seen some who have had that very same surgery and have went right back to square one as it addressed the symptom and not the base problem they had to being with.0
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my goal is 1200 calories? why is that a bad thing??0
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my goal is 1200 calories? why is that a bad thing??
Read this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/61706-guide-to-calorie-deficits
(with how much you have to lose, you should be at 1/2 lb loss goal per week - and that would likely have you at more than 1200. Just a guess.)0 -
well ive looked it up and i'm losing weight quickly because i had a VERY complicated pregnancy, i gain over 80 pounds before i got to the hospital... and another 50 while there because of multiple surgeries... i eat very healthy and like the 1200 calories, and i know that if i do somehow go over, its nothing to dread... just a little 'leniency' space...
and i've lost 15 pounds since feb. 28 '110 -
and i read that article the day that i started this website, and found it very insightful... but it think situations are a lot different, depending on if you have been putting on weight for long amounts of time, or if it was because of a trauma or pregnancy or surgery0
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Dan, thanks for taking the time to write such a great post! I can completely relate, because while I don't eat just 1200 calories a day (more like ~1500), I found out that of the 5 lbs I lost last month, 100% of it was muscle. My trainer told me part of the reason for that was I wasn't eating enough, esp. considering I was exercising intensely every day. Ever since finding out I lost purely muscle, I've been trying to eat more calories... although I admit to still falling short of my calorie goal quite frequently.
There are surprisingly many people who are so focused on your wording and have taken offense. But I think there are more people who recognize your good intentions to help us make progress, rather than be frustrated wondering why our weight loss has stalled. I would also agree that more women are apt to make these mistakes because generally, our main goal is to see the numbers go down, while men seem to want to gain muscle and reduce fat. (At least, this is what I've noticed from my MFP pals' forum topics and wall posts.) So I imagine women would be more likely to go to drastic measures to see the scale number drop, and eat too little while exercising too much. In any case, the insight you offered is spot on! Thanks for all the valuable info that you post!0 -
Oooh... a hot topic here. Actually, I only eat baout 900 calories a day... and come well below 1200. (ofcourse I did have a gastric sleeve surgery in December, so the thought of eating 1200 calories a day is like ludicrous, I'd be eating all day long!)
In fact though, this is why I do believe you are wrong. It isn't about the calories... true our bodies go into starvation mode if we don't get enough protein. Not only that, our hair falls out, our nails don't grow, and we get sunken, shallow cheeks as well as dark circles around our eyes. I know this, because even though I gagged on my protein initially after surgery, I took it. Thank goodness, I didn't want to lose any hair...as it's my best physical trait, imo.
Anyway, my point is... this is the basis of gastric sleeve surgery. There isn't any malabsorption in this surgery. All the surgeon does is remove most of your stomach, requiring you to eat drastically less, therefore your caloric intake is drastically cut... and ta-da you lose weight while feeling full, etc.
So... that being said... I started my journey in August 2010 with my blood pressure at 194/103 --- went to the doctor... she said... cut your sodium to under 2000 mg a day, exercise 30 minutes 5 days a week... see me in 2 weeks, if you still have high blood pressure, we'll put you on medication. Oh... and I had to cut out caffeine and carbonated beverages too.
I did what she said, my blood pressure was 120/80 and I lost 8 lbs in 2 weeks. I kept doing JUST That. By the time my surgery was scheduled, I'd lost 20+ lbs.
Now, I'm down a total of 62 lbs total. Breaking the 200 mark a few short weeks ago.
How? Sure you can say it was surgery, right? But essentially the only thing surgery has done is made me eat less... a LOT less... with my calorie intake ranging from 600 to 900 calories a day...
So if your theory is right... and it is ALL about calories... why am I down 62 lbs?
Someone with a lot to lose can withstand a much larger deficit than someone who is relatively lean (which is who he is referring to, for the most part). And, as Dan said, I'm sure you're on a fairly strict diet, under the supervision of docs/nutrtionist. The vast majority of people are not in the same situation and don't have the benefit of that assistance. So trying to compare the two is impossible.
That said, I'm sure your doctors made you aware before your surgery that while the surgery may have been necessary or desirable in your circumstances, it is not a "fix". You still have to learn to eat healthy, exercise, etc. Also, that the surgery itself AND the limited diet afterwards are not without serious risks. If you don't follow your diet plan precisely, you will run into the very problems being discussed (loss of muscle mass, hair loss, etc.) In your case, the benefits may outweigh the risks. But for most people, who do not have serious medical issues that necessitate rapid weight loss, the risks are far too high to justify when there is a moderate, healthy way to lose weight that is just as effective, if not as quick.
Good luck to you and congrats on your progress!0 -
and i read that article the day that i started this website, and found it very insightful... but it think situations are a lot different, depending on if you have been putting on weight for long amounts of time, or if it was because of a trauma or pregnancy or surgery
It's true that everyone is slightly different. However, while you could withstand a 500 cal deficit when you had 30 lbs to lose, you can't really expect to continue that deficit all the way to the bottom. As you lose weight, you need to readjust your loss goals and calories. The leaner you get, the more muscle you lose in addition to the fat (up to 40% muscle/60% fat for each lb). The larger your deficit, the more likely you are to be burning muscle, rather than fat. Working the last 10-15 off slowly, as you increase strength and raise your metabolism, is the best strategy - no matter how you put it on.0 -
There are so many better things to worry about in life other than did the post offend. I for one thank you..Woman or Martian I have been taught by every weight loss program and fad diet out there to starve myself and work out so the fact that I am now learning that is not the case is a god send. So for this chic. Thanks...as far as the rants and raves common, Get over it....0
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My calories are set at 1200... I eat healthy balanced meals and try to get in enough physical activity. I am losing weight and I feel more toning in my arms and legs... I am down 9 in total...2 since joining the site!
I thought I was doing a good thing?
This is why I always fall off! I get so caught up in how to lose weight properly....
This site does add back calories for calories you have worked off....
Lets say you had a busy day and only got in 3 small meals. Will that bring you back to square one and slow your metabolisim right down?
Ahhh the fustration!0 -
When people talk about eating their '1200' are they referring to the total amount that they're eating or their net calories - so minus the exercise calories. Because I feel like I haven't really been getting anywhere. I'm starting to train for a marathon and I get so incredibly hungry with the amount of exercise I'm doing. I do eat well and healthily but I'm not making any progress (unlike everyone else on here it seems!).0
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My calories are set at 1200... I eat healthy balanced meals and try to get in enough physical activity. I am losing weight and I feel more toning in my arms and legs... I am down 9 in total...2 since joining the site!
I thought I was doing a good thing?
This is why I always fall off! I get so caught up in how to lose weight properly....
This site does add back calories for calories you have worked off....
Lets say you had a busy day and only got in 3 small meals. Will that bring you back to square one and slow your metabolisim right down?
Ahhh the fustration!
One day won't, no. It's when it's the norm that it causes a problem. If you're coming close to your cal goal most days (at least 4-5) with healthy foods, including cals added for exercise - the occasional off day is not a problem.
Planning is key - it takes a while to get the routine right. And some days can't be helped. Don't stress over them, just keep working at it.
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When people talk about eating their '1200' are they referring to the total amount that they're eating or their net calories - so minus the exercise calories. Because I feel like I haven't really been getting anywhere. I'm starting to train for a marathon and I get so incredibly hungry with the amount of exercise I'm doing. I do eat well and healthily but I'm not making any progress (unlike everyone else on here it seems!).
For those of us who advocate eating, we're talking about reaching a net of at least 1200. Just eating 1200 doesn't mean much if you go and burn 1000 of that off. Ideally, you want your net (on home page) to match your initial daily goal. So if your daily goal is 1500 and you burn 500, you want to eat 2000 for a net of 1500. (2000-500=1500).
Remember that MFP creates a built in deficit, based on your loss per week goal. Your daily activity level does not (or should not) include purposeful exercise, so the cals are added in for that to account for a higher number of cals burned that day. If you don't replace them, you make your deficit larger - and too large of a deficit is what Dan is talking about. The cals added for exercise keep your deficit steady - and therefore your loss steady.0 -
wow thanks for dumbing it down so all us females can finally understand how to lose weight! If only I had a penis, I would have know this already! God what was i thinking!
haha! funny!! :bigsmile: :laugh:0 -
im not offended either. i am always afraid that i am not eating enough. it says that i should have 1590 and i usually burn about 400 from exercise a day so i know that i am coming up short! im afraid that i dont think that i have ever hit 1590 after exercise. i would have to eat around 2000 cals and though last yr that would have been no big deal, but now im scared! i have 98 more lbs to lose and have lost 36 so far and am afraid of gaining! what should i be adding to my diet? more protein? more fruits and veggies? maybe a protein shake? i eat alot of fruit and veggies now and lean meat like turkey, bison and chicken. what do you all think? should i be eating that almost 2000 cals?? YIKES!! :noway:0
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im not offended either. i am always afraid that i am not eating enough. it says that i should have 1590 and i usually burn about 400 from exercise a day so i know that i am coming up short! im afraid that i dont think that i have ever hit 1590 after exercise. i would have to eat around 2000 cals and though last yr that would have been no big deal, but now im scared! i have 98 more lbs to lose and have lost 36 so far and am afraid of gaining! what should i be adding to my diet? more protein? more fruits and veggies? maybe a protein shake? i eat alot of fruit and veggies now and lean meat like turkey, bison and chicken. what do you all think? should i be eating that almost 2000 cals?? YIKES!! :noway:
If your loss goal is at 2 lbs per week, it is probably better to try to at least get close to cal goal, as you already have a large deficit. You have a lot to lose, so you can withstand a little larger deficit than most - but there are still risks to that. Rapid weight loss can cause gallstones, skin flaps, and binges/regain, as well as other issues. A moderate deficit is usually much more sustainable and helps you learn how to eat - not to be afraid of eating. That's why MFP has a limit of 2 lbs per week.
You can increase cals several ways. Increase each meal/snack by 25-50 cals - it adds up. Use more healthy fats, like nuts, natural oils (olive and canola), avocado. Protein is what people tend to be low on (MFP's default is pretty low, don't worry about going over it unless you have kidney problems) - so yes, add more protein. Milk is good, cheese (just watch sodium), peanut butter, a good protein shake - all good ways to add some cals. Planning will help - eat frequently and work the extra cals in throughout the day, and you won't feel like you have to stuff them all in late in the day. Good luck to you!
And FYI, I eat about 1800-2000 per day (1500 goal and 300-500 exercise) and am losing on schedule. 0 -
im not offended either. i am always afraid that i am not eating enough. it says that i should have 1590 and i usually burn about 400 from exercise a day so i know that i am coming up short! im afraid that i dont think that i have ever hit 1590 after exercise. i would have to eat around 2000 cals and though last yr that would have been no big deal, but now im scared! i have 98 more lbs to lose and have lost 36 so far and am afraid of gaining! what should i be adding to my diet? more protein? more fruits and veggies? maybe a protein shake? i eat alot of fruit and veggies now and lean meat like turkey, bison and chicken. what do you all think? should i be eating that almost 2000 cals?? YIKES!! :noway:
If your loss goal is at 2 lbs per week, it is probably better to try to at least get close to cal goal, as you already have a large deficit. You have a lot to lose, so you can withstand a little larger deficit than most - but there are still risks to that. Rapid weight loss can cause gallstones, skin flaps, and binges/regain, as well as other issues. A moderate deficit is usually much more sustainable and helps you learn how to eat - not to be afraid of eating. That's why MFP has a limit of 2 lbs per week.
You can increase cals several ways. Increase each meal/snack by 25-50 cals - it adds up. Use more healthy fats, like nuts, natural oils (olive and canola), avocado. Protein is what people tend to be low on (MFP's default is pretty low, don't worry about going over it unless you have kidney problems) - so yes, add more protein. Milk is good, cheese (just watch sodium), peanut butter, a good protein shake - all good ways to add some cals. Planning will help - eat frequently and work the extra cals in throughout the day, and you won't feel like you have to stuff them all in late in the day. Good luck to you!
And FYI, I eat about 1800-2000 per day (1500 goal and 300-500 exercise) and am losing on schedule.
thank you so much!! you are very informative and helpful with all your responses to peoples questions on this thread. i might start to drink a protein shake and see how that goes, not one that is a ton of cals, but a couple of hundred maybe. atleast i will add in a little bit. and i will try not to freak out! thanks again. 0 -
its is not if that is what mfp recommended for you, I am more aiming it towards women who try to push it way beyond what mfp recommends.my goal is 1200 calories? why is that a bad thing??0 -
This is so true and I agree that I've done this myself. This is something I'm working on. Great read and didn't offend me in the least:) Thanks for the info!!!0
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The most common mistake women make.....told by a man:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
im just messing with ya:flowerforyou:
That's great!!! Your comment made me laugh!!!! :laugh:0 -
I think he really does make sense! I have beaten myself up the last couple weeks because I'm not losing as fast. I think strength training really needs to be involved to build muscle, and the scale is not going to be exactly friendly to the muscle gain. The shred makes me gain every time. But when I took my measurements I couldn't believe it, so much loss! He is right...the body needs more fuel, the right kind of fuel. I have said that before about the numbers on the scale, I can be obsessed with them but when it comes down to it, it's not about the numbers but it's about the toning and the fitness you feel. And muscle is much better than fat any old day.
Think about it...after you lose all that fat off your body...if you don't have muscle then how will your body continue to burn the calories effectively? That is why some strength training should be done either during or after losing weight, don't ya think?
I was not offended...I think he put women because let's face it, women are so much more critical of their bodies and get more upset and emotional...I'm a woman, I know!!
Great info and great points made here.0 -
Actually, I disagree with you as well.
It's not about calories... it's about balanced meals. Most people who cut their calories, cut their protein and THAT is why they have a hard time losing weight.
Even before my surgery where I'd lost 20 lbs by changing my diet BEFORE surgery, my nutritional counselor helped make me understand the difference!0
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