Opinion: why do men feel the need to offer advice to me in the weight room?

kpchefai wrote: »

Cool a variety of responses! It doesn't bother me so much that I would change anything about my routine but I can't tell if they have motives or are just genuinely offering advice. Either way doesn't matter. I can hold my own and maybe will try offering them some advice haha. My thought is that if they are so free to offer advice why is it only directed towards me(the lone woman!!)I work with a trainer once a week to learn new stuff, check form etc.

I do wear earbuds which actually makes it more annoying because even if I ignore them the first time they try to get my attention till I take them out. Kind of comical actually.

Thanks for responding!

Is it possible to turn your back on everyone else? When I want to be left alone I'll face a wall or a mirror. That way no one has to see the funny faces I'm making on the last set and I don't have to worry about making eye contact, even though I rarely get bothered at my work gym. I'd think with the combination of the earbuds and your back to stare at it'd be pretty obvious you aren't interested in being interrupted.

jbach2 wrote: »

Well, they may be turned on by a woman lifting weights. They may offer advice because they do not know what else to use to start a conversation. Either way, they are interested in you.

sorry for the off-topic reply, but i'm wondering why this post was flagged twice for abuse.

skullshank wrote: »

jbach2 wrote: »

Well, they may be turned on by a woman lifting weights. They may offer advice because they do not know what else to use to start a conversation. Either way, they are interested in you.

sorry for the off-topic reply, but i'm wondering why this post was flagged twice for abuse.

My bet is someone was offended that the only reason a guy would talk to a girl at the gym is because he is interested in the girl.

The funny thing is the people who flagged it took "interested" to mean in a flirtatious way, when the interest could easily be just form or program related.

I didn't flag it, but I suspect it offends people because it could be interpreted as "take it as a compliment," or "I don't see the problem here."

I think the offending phrase is "turned on," not "interested."

Word is the gym used to be a place people socialized about training, share ideas, and have fun. Now apparently everyone who wants to talk to someone else is a sexual creepster. Social anxiety is at its peak in 2014.

dbmata wrote: »

ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »

dbmata wrote: »

ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »

dbmata wrote: »

ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »

BerttiBott wrote: »

This makes me so angry. I see men using machines backwards and doing incorrect, potentially harmful lifts with no one batting an eye, but if I even shorten my range of motion slightly on my last rep due to fatigue the whole gym will descend on me with their criticism.

Your lifts must be impressive if the whole gym stops to watch you!

Seriously. I want to lift like that. I lift in a gym where most dudes are pulling a three plate bench, so that means I'll need a 4 plate. Ruh roh.

The only thing I can push 4plates on is the leg press! I have a long way to go!!!!

!!!

I thought those little arms were for putting towels?

I started folding king size bed sheets and bam I had gunz!!!

....gah, I didn't mean yours, tiny human. hahaha. sorry that you took it that way.

I meant the little arms on the sled for the leg press. lol.

ok we can talk about the machine instead of me.....

uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »

Word is the gym used to be a place people socialized about training, share ideas, and have fun. Now apparently everyone who wants to talk to someone else is a sexual creepster. Social anxiety is at its peak in 2014.

Meh. I'm not sure that's true. There's a world of difference between sharing ideas and approaching someone you don't know and offering unsolicited advice. By doing that, you are approaching a (more or less) stranger and telling them they are wrong and you are right. That's it in it's most basic form. I'm not sure why anyone would find that palatable whether you are a man or woman.

This thread is all over the place.

Would OP know how to respond if the advice offered came from women rather than men? If yes, act the same way with the men in your gym.

It's pretty clear whether someone is offering good advice as a friend or they want to hit on you. It's also pretty clear whether someone is acting like a douche or being friendly. Respond accordingly and don't make a gender thing out of this, because stereotypes never work well.

uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »

juliewatkin wrote: »

uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »

Word is the gym used to be a place people socialized about training, share ideas, and have fun. Now apparently everyone who wants to talk to someone else is a sexual creepster. Social anxiety is at its peak in 2014.

Meh. I'm not sure that's true. There's a world of difference between sharing ideas and approaching someone you don't know and offering unsolicited advice. By doing that, you are approaching a (more or less) stranger and telling them they are wrong and you are right. That's it in it's most basic form. I'm not sure why anyone would find that palatable whether you are a man or woman.

I like advice. I know I am not perfect. If someone were to tell me that my form could be fixed and it would help prevent this or that kind of injury, I'd consider it. I don't want to jack up my shoulders because I wrote the person off as a creeper instead of someone honestly trying to help.

^ This. I've experienced the same thing, but I don't think it's patronizing at all. I think that the majority of guys are just giving advice they feel will be helpful, whether you want that advice or not. Some tips have actually helped improve my lifts so yay to that -- for the less helpful tips, I just smile, thank them, and continue doing what I want. Ear buds and an intense look on your face should give a signal that you're not up for a conversation, but some people don't notice that and are bold enough to say something anyway. Not all men are creepers and like the above poster mentioned, I would not want to end up injuring myself because I dismissed a comment from a so-called "creeper".

kpchefai wrote: »

Opinion: why do men feel the need to offer advice to me in the weight room?

Why do women generalize about men?

I don't lift at the gym very often, but when I do, I have frequently had guys offer me unsolicited advice. Not because they were hitting on me, but because I'm a lifting newb and still have pretty shite form. I practically fell over myself thanking them, because it's FREE ADVICE.
I'm not sure what my point is, other than to offer an alternative thought process/reaction on men correcting women in the weight room.

veganbettie wrote: »

OR you can get this shirt.

LOL that's awesome.

I've been in situations where I've seen females, and males, preforming a lift with poor form. However, because of threads like this, I just minded my own business to avoid being labeled a "creeper' or "that guy". Can't win. I'd force myself to say something if they were about to hurt themselves, otherwise I'll just do my thing.

hate when people give unsolicited advice in the gym.

even the "worries of injury" people could be mistaken (not referring to anyone here but to an actual example): I was doing front squats with OLY form (not crossed hands), and someone came up to me and tried to get me to 1) switch to a cross armed grip and 2) use the leg press machine, cuz "it's safer" (it's not / it's probably one of the most unsafe pieces in that gym)... wrong on both counts.

or when people suggest programs: "why you doin overhead squats, lunges, and hip thrusts as assistance? you should be doing machines for that stuff. work that chest and bis more.".... um...

grumble.

while some dudes may be motivated by flirtatious desires when giving advice to a woman, others just may be the "give advice" types; others may be really on to something important to share. a little of column A, a little of column B, a little of column C... etc

but the creeps are absolutely the worst