20 lbs in a year - Gonna pick it up now to the finish - Anyo

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  • paronomasha
    paronomasha Posts: 54
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    Good for you on taking control of the chocolate, Steph! It's so hard to do mid-weigh through eating.

    Rainbow, well done on no soda or tea!

    I went over my calories today. Ate so much sushi! It was delicious and if I'd enjoyed all of it from the very beginning and consciously made the choice, "Well, I'm still hungry, it's good, I'll eat some more" I would be alright with it. But I was so hungry when sitting down to it that I scarfed most of it down without thinking. I think I need to take care to not let myself get so hungry during the day and also be more conscious/aware while putting things in my mouth.

    Also, I'm going out to a fancy restaurant for dinner tomorrow to celebrate my finished undergrad, so I need to be smart about my food. Any suggestions for ways to keep calories and fat down or what kind of dishes are lower-calorie?

    Hope you're all well!
  • Steph_135
    Steph_135 Posts: 3,280 Member
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    Dag nabbit!..I totally forgot that I was not drinking soda or tea today...then had the nerve to mix the tea with lemonade:indifferent: :sick: ..........well i'll try it again tomorrow.............hope you ladies had a good day...kepp up the super work!
    Rain... I totally do that sometimes too. No worries at all! You remembered eventually. :bigsmile: Tomorrow you can try again.
    Lol! You could have threw it out unless your sister wanted the extra calories.......:-) Good job on you not eating anymore!
    Haha, she was mad at me cause I took all the "good ones" so I was just giving them back. I **SHOULD** have thrown them out, cause I ate a bunch of them today! :sad: KARMA!! I gave the rest to my mom and told them to hide them on me. I'm not good at throwing out food... I need to practice it more. Yesterday I went out and ordered at a restaurant, and I was feeling full, but there was still food on my plate, and I ended up eating past my limit. I don't know why I didn't stop myself. I was totally aware of what I was doing. :cry:
    Didnt drink tea or soda today......but I went waaaaaaaaaaaaay over my calories....guess this was my "cheat" day?
    I take a cheat day about once a week (when I'm doing better and more reasonable than I am now), and it usually helps to shake things up.
    I went over my calories today. Ate so much sushi! It was delicious and if I'd enjoyed all of it from the very beginning and consciously made the choice, "Well, I'm still hungry, it's good, I'll eat some more" I would be alright with it. But I was so hungry when sitting down to it that I scarfed most of it down without thinking. I think I need to take care to not let myself get so hungry during the day and also be more conscious/aware while putting things in my mouth.

    Also, I'm going out to a fancy restaurant for dinner tomorrow to celebrate my finished undergrad, so I need to be smart about my food. Any suggestions for ways to keep calories and fat down or what kind of dishes are lower-calorie?
    Asha... Sushi can take me over calorie any day! :bigsmile: For the most part, it's really healthy anyway. :happy: I know how you must have felt sitting down famished though. But you made the connection, and now you can try to do better next time! One of my goals is always to try and chew well and eat slowly, but it often doesn't happen... Have a great dinner tonight! I like going for salads with chicken or salmon. Or switch the usual side of fries with a side salad. Great choices! You can also ask for dressing on the side, or for things to be made without the sauces, or again, with them on the side.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
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    Asha,
    Steph gave you some good pointers. I also stick with fish dishes too. But I have the sauce on them because I tried grilled or baked fish without the sauce and I did not care for it. Since fish is so low in calories anyway I will take my chances on butter and etc on there.

    Steph,
    It was hard for me to throw out food too but know I do it in a heart beat......:-) Because none of my family needs it and I am no longer going to be a garbage disposal. Another good idea is get in the habit of asking for a doggie bag right away when your food comes. Because most resturants give you 3 to 4 servings of food and if you pack it up before you start to eat you are less likely to keep nibbling, talking, nibbling, talking and then you have stuffed yourself needlessly



    Everyone have a awesome weekend!! I am going to work on maintaining weight over the weekend. I upped my weights this week so I may not see a weight loss tomorrow. I was kinda hoping for one pound at least. But if not I know I am doing good because today i am wearing a skirt that was too tight to wear in Sept and today I have plenty of room to breath and it is very lose in my waist.
  • paronomasha
    paronomasha Posts: 54
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    Thanks for tips, Steph and Mollie!

    I'm actually quite proud of how I did tonight. I only had two slices of baguette, took just a sip of the cream-filled apperatif (sp?) to try it, skipped the appetizer, chose the main course that seemed to me to have the least fatty/caloric sauce (a balsamic reduction), and allowed myself to have dessert as a treat because I got the impression that I'd feel deprived if I didn't (and that might have bitten me in the butt later). I ended up going over my calorie goal, but staying under my BMR, assuming the guesstimates I made about calories were fairly accurate.

    Steph: I know what you mean about continuing to eat even after knowing you are full and should stop. It's especially hard when the plate sits in front of you for a while and you just keep picking at it because it's there. Mollie's suggestion about doggy bagging right away is good. I kind of feel silly doing that sometimes though, so I just split my food in half (half for now, half to take home) and make sure I flag the server down as soon as I eat half and ask him/her to put the other half in a box for me.

    Molly: Well done on your progress! I'm sure it feels great to see and feel the difference in your clothes! Try to focus on that rather than the number on the scale tomorrow. And good luck this weekend :)
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
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    Good job Ahsa!!! Whooohooo!!!

    I wish I had the restraint to just divide my food and decide to save it. lol!! Nope it is safer for me to get it right up front. But good for you to be able to do that! I tried it and it does not work for me.......:-)

    Thanks too for kudos on weigh in tomorrow because I feel I may be the same. I have been the same all over the place this week on scale. I will be fine, on weekends I mainly focus on not overeating because I tend to go hog wild on food on weekends! But I am getting better actually.
  • paronomasha
    paronomasha Posts: 54
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    Hi everyone!

    Hope your weekends have been great. Mine was pretty laid back and it was nice to have absolutely nothing pressing to do for a change! Just wanted to check in and share that this pretty plaid shirt I bought while studying abroad now buttons! When I bought it, I didn't try it on because it was in a regular store, not a plus size store, and I really just wanted to be able to buy something. I thought, oh, size 18, it'll be close, and if it's tight it'll be motivation to lose weight... obviously not a good plan haha. I could button it, but not without fear that the buttons would pop off! Several months later (beginning of March) I made the commitment to a lifestyle change and today the shirt buttoned without being tight across my chest or belly! I wouldn't say it's flattering yet and it's still a little tight in the shoulders, but I can now comfortably wear it unbottoned over a tank top. Hopefully in a few weeks I'll be able to wear it buttoned as well!

    Hope you're all doing well!
  • Steph_135
    Steph_135 Posts: 3,280 Member
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    Sorry I've been away. :blushing: I'm barely logging my food, and I know I'm all over the place. :cry: I gotta find my motivation again!! I'm glad I got to come and see how great you guys are doing! :drinker:
    Steph,
    It was hard for me to throw out food too but know I do it in a heart beat......:-) Because none of my family needs it and I am no longer going to be a garbage disposal.
    Great words! I threw out these jelly bean things the other day, and the rest of the (frozen) cupcakes, cause I knew I it would just end badly...
    Everyone have a awesome weekend!! I am going to work on maintaining weight over the weekend. I upped my weights this week so I may not see a weight loss tomorrow. I was kinda hoping for one pound at least. But if not I know I am doing good because today i am wearing a skirt that was too tight to wear in Sept and today I have plenty of room to breath and it is very lose in my waist.
    Excellent excellent!! :drinker: Inch loss is so awesome! It's hard not to be affected by the scale, but inches tell the real story!

    Asha... I'm so glad you did well at dinner, and were proud! That's the best feeling!
    Steph: I know what you mean about continuing to eat even after knowing you are full and should stop. It's especially hard when the plate sits in front of you for a while and you just keep picking at it because it's there. Mollie's suggestion about doggy bagging right away is good. I kind of feel silly doing that sometimes though, so I just split my food in half (half for now, half to take home) and make sure I flag the server down as soon as I eat half and ask him/her to put the other half in a box for me.
    Thanks, I think it really depends on who I'm eating with. With family, I eat and eat and eat and eat, but with friends (especially friends that eat very little, and then complain that they ate too much), I eat a lot less, and the most of the food to go. I gotta practice that skill when eating with family. Maybe I'm just more aware of what I'm eating with the friends.
    I could button it, but not without fear that the buttons would pop off! Several months later (beginning of March) I made the commitment to a lifestyle change and today the shirt buttoned without being tight across my chest or belly!
    That's so great! Congrats on the shirt buttoning Asha!! I always buy clothes, and say, It'll fit when I lose weight. And you know it's gonna happen, so you buy it. :bigsmile: I really hate those "girl cut" shirt, since even XLs don't fit, and I'm a man's L (or tight medium, haha!), so you know something is wrong with that sizing... But I have a few girl cuts that I'm hoping to fit into soon.

    How was your weekend Molly?
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
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    Hello All,

    My weekend was terriable eating wise but great otherwise. I went to an annivversary party Saturday night and many people mentioned my weight loss or said you are still losing weight? Dah, yeah, like I still weigh over 300 pounds! lol! But it felt nice and I did a lot of line dancing and just had too much fun. I walked around more and socialized instead of focusing on what to eat next. My eating was not all bad though and was better than a lot of weekends. I had no fast foods.

    Today I am going to have some fast foods before I get into this contest that starts tomorrow. If any of you are interested the leader is looking for 2 more peoples to join us. It will definitely help keep me honest. I will try to stay in it as long as I can. It is a contest and it is for anyone trying to lose 20 pounds or more. I am actually pretty excited about it. Glad the weigh day is on the same day as another group I am in.

    Here is the link in case any of you are interested: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/231170-2nd-round-fit-n-trim-elimination-contest-requitment

    Steph,
    I hear you on eating with the family. Eating with the family who does not care how much you eat etc. But I have learned to eat well even when dining with my family. My entire family is obese so I try to set a good example for them.

    Asha,
    Congrats on shirt! Keep up the good work!
  • Steph_135
    Steph_135 Posts: 3,280 Member
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    I went to an annivversary party Saturday night and many people mentioned my weight loss or said you are still losing weight? Dah, yeah, like I still weigh over 300 pounds! lol! But it felt nice and I did a lot of line dancing and just had too much fun. I walked around more and socialized instead of focusing on what to eat next. My eating was not all bad though and was better than a lot of weekends. I had no fast foods.
    Sounds like you had so much fun!! I'm so happy you enjoyed yourself! Great success! That contest sounds exciting, with a prize even! I joined SO many challenge groups yesterday, and they're gonna keep me really busy.
    Steph,
    I hear you on eating with the family. Eating with the family who does not care how much you eat etc. But I have learned to eat well even when dining with my family. My entire family is obese so I try to set a good example for them.
    I try to influence my close family to eat better too, but it never works... :grumble:
  • paronomasha
    paronomasha Posts: 54
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    Mollie: It must've felt great to hear people acknowledge your hard work and even more so to feel the difference in yourself (regarding not thinking about food, and instead enjoying yourself, etc.!) Glad to hear the party went well!

    Steph: Glad you're back! Sounds like those challenges will definitely keep you busy. Good luck!

    I also wanted to ask you gals about family and strategies you've used to talk to them about your goals, your progress, your feelings, etc. My parents are an important part of my life. Perhaps too much so in the sense that, when I was younger, their constant pushing to excel at everything led me to binge eating as a coping mechanism. Naturally, as I gained weight they were even more critical, which led me to binge more and solidifying the destructive cycle. Now, I'm slowing taking back control over myself and my health, but I'm nervous that they will once again say something hurtful or insensitive that will throw me right back to where I started.

    I don't feel comfortable addressing this with them, because /they/ feel victimized by /me/ from when I was a typical angsty teenager and I think the conversation would do more harm than good. What I would like is to somehow convey to them that this is a serious journey for me, one that is difficult and one that I might like to talk about sometimes. Unfortunately, they are both very no-nonsense and frequently say things like, "Well, it's up to you and your motivation, just do it! Stop complaining/venting/talking and ACT!" Or, like when I tried to confide in my mother about how I'm afraid I'll mess this up AGAIN, she just stared at me for a long time and said, "So don't **** up." Not particularly encouraging. At the same time, I don't want to offend her by saying, "This isn't what I need from you," because that may lead to her saying something like, "Well then do it on your own if you can't accept what I have to say."

    Sorry for the long... intro/rant, but I'm just wondering if either of you have run into similar situations with family or friends? Even if you haven't, do you have any tips or ideas about how to slowly and diplomatically approach sensitive topics like that one? Or even ideas on how I can move forward or take my parents less seriously?

    Thanks so much for any input!
  • RainbowNtheWaterfall
    RainbowNtheWaterfall Posts: 552 Member
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    sorry I havent been here in the last couple of days....hope you ladies have a super day today and stay on track.....Hey ladies....an you take a look at my post about oovoo???....wondering if we can add something to our group's success
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
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    @Steph,
    It does work with my family much either, but I keep trying and I my other thing I do when eating out is pick fish items.

    @Asha,
    It is so important to remember that you can not change your parents but you can change how you react to them. I hate to tell you that our parents are in some ways responsible for many of our bad habits but you can not blame them and I don't think you were but please don't expect help from them either.

    My parents helped me to a certain degree but when I realize that they could not give me the emotional help I seeked and to be encouraging, I sought thearphy which was very helpful to me when I was your age. It was priceless. I had some very good therpist. They helped me with my relationship with my parents. You can try writing a letter. This was suggested to me by my therpist back then. I wrote letters and never sent them all because I rationalize would they change if I gave them the letters. My Mom did somewhat. My Dad did too but then they both rather not go that deep and so I continued with therphy. I found a eating disorder program here at one of the renowed hospitals that was absolutely awesome and I was on my way after having years of sessions that was covered by my insurance and my Dad covered what my insurance did not.

    My parents are good for assistance with cash or any phyiscal needs but not helpful with emotional needs. It sounds like your parents are similar and it is true of many parents believe it or not. So if you can't get what you need from friends, parents and MFP then seek a good thearpist who specializes in cogninitve behaviors. I know I spelled that wrong but hopefully you got what I meant. Do you know also that their is a binge eating thread on MFP. I have not had time to devote to it lately because there are a lot of new people on there but if you want the link let me know. I have to go workout now but wanted to reply to your post.

    Remember MFP can be a good thearpist to a certian extent.........:-) We are here for you, just vent any time you want to. The group is small enough for us to support one another.

    Like Steph I am in many groups and challenges on here because that is what I need to stay focused. I am going to do whatever it takes.

    Have a good day ladies!:flowerforyou:
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
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    sorry I havent been here in the last couple of days....hope you ladies have a super day today and stay on track.....Hey ladies....an you take a look at my post about oovoo???....wondering if we can add something to our group's success

    Hi Rainbow,

    I don't have this program and not interested in it either. Sorry. I hope you find some takers. Like many who answered your thread I have never heard of oovoo, but I have heard of skype. If skype and oovoo is free, I may consider it, if I can find the time. But if it is not free I am not going to add it to my system.

    Have a good week!:flowerforyou:
  • paronomasha
    paronomasha Posts: 54
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    Thanks for taking the time to reply, Mollie. You're right, what I'm really looking for is changing how I react to my parents. I don't blame them, I just wish I had been able to think differently, more maturely, when I was younger and this all began. I've been to a therapist, but I didn't find him particularly helpful. He encouraged the idea that all parents fail, said things like my mother was a cold fish, etc. and I didn't appreciate him criticizing my parents. I just wanted healthier coping mechanisms and ways to deal with hurtful things my parents might say. Maybe I should try again with someone different.

    I do find MFP quite helpful, because it's great to read threads about people struggling with similar things and succeeding. It's cathartic to be able to talk to people who understand what you're going through. So thank you for responding, I appreciate your suggestions! I'll look into finding that binge eating thread.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
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    Like finding a good job, it takes work finding a good therpist. After I had some of the best thearpist, I was very picky and knew right away when it was not a good fit. That is why I said to look for ones that specialize in eating disorders. Even some of them are not good. I can tell you stories on the search for a good thearpist after I had to change therpists because they went into private practice and so did not take my insurance. Honestly I will drive 40 to 60 min just to go back to some of my old therpist before I start the search for one in my area. Sometimes just a few sessions are helpful.

    Here is the link to BED thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/216083-support-for-binge-eating-disorder

    Here is another one but less active: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/184627-food-addicts-anonymous

    For me personally the smaller groups are better but all are good if you have the time to read them. I have several groups and threads I lurk on and do not post to because of time constraints.
  • Steph_135
    Steph_135 Posts: 3,280 Member
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    I also wanted to ask you gals about family and strategies you've used to talk to them about your goals, your progress, your feelings, etc. My parents are an important part of my life. Perhaps too much so in the sense that, when I was younger, their constant pushing to excel at everything led me to binge eating as a coping mechanism. Naturally, as I gained weight they were even more critical, which led me to binge more and solidifying the destructive cycle. Now, I'm slowing taking back control over myself and my health, but I'm nervous that they will once again say something hurtful or insensitive that will throw me right back to where I started.

    I don't feel comfortable addressing this with them, because /they/ feel victimized by /me/ from when I was a typical angsty teenager and I think the conversation would do more harm than good. What I would like is to somehow convey to them that this is a serious journey for me, one that is difficult and one that I might like to talk about sometimes. Unfortunately, they are both very no-nonsense and frequently say things like, "Well, it's up to you and your motivation, just do it! Stop complaining/venting/talking and ACT!" Or, like when I tried to confide in my mother about how I'm afraid I'll mess this up AGAIN, she just stared at me for a long time and said, "So don't **** up." Not particularly encouraging. At the same time, I don't want to offend her by saying, "This isn't what I need from you," because that may lead to her saying something like, "Well then do it on your own if you can't accept what I have to say."
    That can be really tough when parents say things like that. My family is mostly overweight, and I they comment if they see me losing weight, and say I look good, but I don't go to anyone for real support, except for MFP. Before last year, I lost weight on my own, and would just tell my mom if I was losing weight, hoping to inspire her, maybe, but that's about it. I used to babysit for a woman who was really health conscious, and I ate the healthiest when I was around her, and she would always comment about how healthy I was eating, which was nice. I was thinking about the first episode of "I Used To Be Fat" when you were sharing your story, because this girl's relationship with her mom was really tough when she would talk to her as well. You might find some inspiration watching it, because the personal trainer addresses the mom, and the girl learns to communicate with her mom in a more positive way: http://www.mtv.ca/tvshows/i-used-to-be-fat/video_content.jhtml?id=1655093

    PS - Mollie gives great advice! :heart: I totally agree with therapy, or anyone you can talk to in a safe and supporting environment.

    PPS - A therapist is like a naturopathic doctor... Each has a different approach. Asha, you should totally check out another person if the first didn't offer you something you could use or agree with. :flowerforyou:
  • RainbowNtheWaterfall
    RainbowNtheWaterfall Posts: 552 Member
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    Thanks for taking the time to reply, Mollie. You're right, what I'm really looking for is changing how I react to my parents. I don't blame them, I just wish I had been able to think differently, more maturely, when I was younger and this all began. I've been to a therapist, but I didn't find him particularly helpful. He encouraged the idea that all parents fail, said things like my mother was a cold fish, etc. and I didn't appreciate him criticizing my parents. I just wanted healthier coping mechanisms and ways to deal with hurtful things my parents might say. Maybe I should try again with someone different.

    I do find MFP quite helpful, because it's great to read threads about people struggling with similar things and succeeding. It's cathartic to be able to talk to people who understand what you're going through. So thank you for responding, I appreciate your suggestions! I'll look into finding that binge eating thread.

    I agree.....I'm so glad Mike decided to create this place....it's just brilliant!.....
  • paronomasha
    paronomasha Posts: 54
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    Thank you, Mollie and Steph. I've looked through some of the posts on the first thread, Mollie, and I think I'll keep doing so. There's something to say for knowing you aren't alone, that others are struggling with similar things. Apropos, the girl in I Used to be Fat's mother is eerily similar to my parents. They also did the tests of leaving out junk food, making snarky comments, being resistant to making changes that would help me, etc. It was great to see her stand up to her mother after gaining confidence and learning to appreciate that her needs and health had to come first. Hopefully this will happen for me as well as I continue losing pounds and gaining confidence.

    Thanks for the support and suggestions!
  • Steph_135
    Steph_135 Posts: 3,280 Member
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    There's something to say for knowing you aren't alone, that others are struggling with similar things.
    :heart: ::HUGS:: :flowerforyou:

    There have 2 distinct times in my life when I have been in new situations, when I've suddenly realized that everyone else was just like me. It really is amazing. :smooched:
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
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    That can be really tough when parents say things like that. My family is mostly overweight, and I they comment if they see me losing weight, and say I look good, but I don't go to anyone for real support, except for MFP. Before last year, I lost weight on my own, and would just tell my mom if I was losing weight, hoping to inspire her, maybe, but that's about it. I used to babysit for a woman who was really health conscious, and I ate the healthiest when I was around her, and she would always comment about how healthy I was eating, which was nice. I was thinking about the first episode of "I Used To Be Fat" when you were sharing your story, because this girl's relationship with her mom was really tough when she would talk to her as well. You might find some inspiration watching it, because the personal trainer addresses the mom, and the girl learns to communicate with her mom in a more positive way: http://www.mtv.ca/tvshows/i-used-to-be-fat/video_content.jhtml?id=1655093

    I am going to check this show out on line since I don't have cable. Thanks for suggesting it!

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