What's the worst thing someone has said to about being overw

My ex step-mom made a point to keep me out of school for two hours without anyone else's knowledge, to tell me that I was fat and had a problem. Around the same time she announced to a group of people at our house that I was "the heaviest I had ever been". I was 118. She also was crazy, by the way. There is a reason she is my EX step-mom.

I was always really thin and fit growing up, but now I'm in my late 30's, have had two children and, of course, have put on some weight...The worst thing that I've heard numerous times is, "You look good for having had two kids." To me it seems like a back-handed compliment...

one of my friends went on a blind date years ago... and when she met the guy, he says..."you're hot...for a mom".

Needless to say, there was no second date.

It's amazing and at the same time very pitiful how cruel people are...it makes me think of my days in jr and high school...hated it! I was actually very thin and short...with acne, so I got teased every day of my life and it was miserable. I hated going to school except for being in the marching band which was my only escape. I really think that all of the teasing and bullying contributed to the depression that I went through as a teen, but I finally started cussing people out and they pretty much left me alone once they knew that if they said the wrong thing to me that I would say something 10 times worse! Anyway since I've married, had kids and gained weight, I used to get the 'are you pregnant' thing quite often...I really did look pregnant but it's just weird that people assume when they don't even know you..the people I know are not like that(thank God...don't wanna have to cuss out relatives,lol), but strangers can be really moronic when it comes to looks and their opinions of other people! We should keep our heads up because we are wonderful people and I'm so glad that I found this site where we can get all of the crap out of our systems. It's strange how we can hold things in for so long! It's all in the past and we are on our way to a wonderful future, so let's enjoy the present. It's not our problem how some idiot thinks...it's theirs!

Hugs to all of you -- None of us deserved this kind of treatment.....people can be so cruel and heartless.

I didn't even realize I was chubby till 3rd grade. Long story short -- my biological mother was killed in a car accident and I was placed in foster care. A year later I was adopted by a family. What followed was the worst 4 years of my life. She would call me Miss Piggy in front of everyone. She would lecture me till 2, 3, 4 am about how fat and disgusting I was. During these lectures she would make me hold gallon jugs from the freezer to demonstrate how much extra weight I carried around. She used to make me run around the block -- I say "make me"because she would follow me in her truck. She would "test" me -- asking me to bend at the waist till I touched the floor -- knees locked -- when I continued to "pass" -- she would have me stand on books lol. She enrolled me in track -- distance only explaining to the coach that I needed the extra exercise. when I got to join the swim team -- she told me in front of my team that she couldn't stand coming to our meets because I looked like a disgusting beached whale. She criticized what I ate all the time -- a lot of "do you really need that?"

To this day -- the voice in my head that tries so hard to drag me down -- sounds like her.

I was unadopted and went back to foster care. Part of my case plan had to do with eating and exercising -- and watching me around boys since it was known that overweight teenagers were promiscuous due to low self esteem. Here I thought we chased the boys for exercise lol. In one home -- I started out with "short stuff" as my nickname -- and as the weight gain continued -- I was called "overstuffed". i also had a foster sister that called me Mam-moo.

In school, I was called every fat name you can imagine. A certain group of young males would sing "Fatty Fatty 2 by 4, can't fit in the classroom door" (Even though I could lol). When ever some one was mad at me - I was the fat b**** lol.

After my divorce -- I was approached in a bar by a man wearing a T shirt that said "I f*** the fat friends". I did let him buy me a drink -- then left with friends lol.

My daughter's father -- when I announced I was pregnant -- said to me "But you're so fat -- how can you tell??"

A lady I work with -- she always tries to give me her left overs from lunch. And I want to believe she's just being nice -- but it reeks of "I know you're fat and all you want to do is eat -- so here's more food."

I know what doesn't kill us makes us stronger right?? But some days I don't feel so strong -- and those are the days those memories play over and over. I just keep imagining myself on the Maury Povich show -- you know -- the one where we get to face our tormentors as total hotties. I really miss that show lol

Emotional abuse is so hard to deal with. My mother was very emotionally abusive when I was growing up, even though I was a good weight. She would tell me things like it was ok if I was stupid because I still had my looks, or I was pretty so I was going to be a slut. I honestly think that played a huge role in why I became so obsessed with my weight. I felt that if I lost my looks I had nothing left and was worthless. My ex reinforced this attitude when I put on a little weight (at my heaviest with him I was 175 and 5'7"). He would tell me that I was too fat to be attractive and he didn't want to have anything to do with me intimately. When we broke up I actually starved myself into multiple ulcers throughout my digestive tract. While I am still working on my self esteem issues, I have a wonderful husband who is helping me through it.

Who is your support person?

When I was 14 my music teacher was walking behind me....I had a ruffly jean skirt on (it was the early 90's people!) and he said "Why would you wear a skirt with legs like that?"

Ouch....and yikes, all at the same time.

My mom told me when I was about 17....that no man would want me the way that I was.

Good times, good times

Anyone know of a good therapist?? :laugh:

I feel so bad for every poster on this thread. I can relate to these comments as my mom told me I was fat every chance she got. I always hated the way I looked, and it got worse when I was married to an extremely abusive man. To this day I can't stand to get dressed or shower in front of my (different) husband, who is very supportive of my weight loss efforts.

I've had a lot of comments. The one that always stands out was from a guy I went on a date with. Our first date and he told me if I lost 40 pounds and did some weight lifting I'd be perfect. I just couldn't believe it since it was a first date, and he asked me out again. I didn't go. He found me on Facebook a few months ago. I've lost more than 40 pounds and he has gained at least that much.

I've been asked if I was pregnant a couple times.... honestly that was part of my inspiration for joining this site.

I never really had any weight problems, But the last time I visited my family in Ohio (April 3rd- 6th of this year), Everyone I knew, especially in my family, kept asking me if I was pregnant even though I had told them 'no, I'm not pregnant' several times during my visit. It is what made decided that it is really time to start losing weight, and then I found this wonderful site filled with the most wonderful, encouraging people! (I am planning another visit to see my family in Ohio at the end of this month. Hopefully I wont be asked if I'm pregnant as I plan to lose 10- 15 pounds before the visit.)

Oh and the other day while at work, my manager was giving me a shirt that we're suppose to wear for the next few weeks if wanted to. He asked me what size do I wear and I said 'Large'. He looked at me and said, 'Well, the shirts shrink so I'll give you an X-Large" (not that anything is wrong with whatever shirt size you wear.) Whether he was telling the truth about it 'shrinking easily' or not, it still kind of hurt my feelings because the large shirts I already wear are kind of loose on me. (However, I was told today by another co-worker that they were out of large's and that was why he gave me an X-Large, but still).

Oh wow...where do I begin?

I've always been chubby. My Dad's entire family is chubby. My Mom, however, is 5'7" and 110lbs soaking wet. When would go out with her, even as a lttle girl, people would question if she was my REAL mom because of my weight.

In high school, I was in color guard all year round, so I stayed active with that, and I took extra gym classes. My senior year, our guard costumes were crushed green velvet unitards (we had a Riverdance-themed show). I was told I HAD to wear a girdle under mine or we might get docked points.

Many, many comments from my grandma about how I'm "cute" but I have the potential to be beautiful...if I lose weight.

When my husband and I announced our engagement, my mother in law said "Oh, so it will be a while before you get married, then? I know you'll have to special order you dress. Stores don't carry that size." (FTR, I bought my dress off the rack, and had only minor alterations done)

The first time I met my husband's paternal grandmother, she turned to my husband's dad (at Chirstmas in front of 25 peole I'd never met before) and said "Oh, Jeff certainly likes fat girls, doesnt he?"

Most recently (and the straw that finally broke the camel's back), I was helping my mother in law's sister organize her closet...she is a size 0. I complimented a dress she owns and her response was "Thanks. It's too bad you'll never get to wear cute clothes."

After that, I am no longer speaking to my in-laws.

Then there's the back handed compliments.... "wow, you have such a pretty face!" While looking at me up and down, critiquing the rest of me...*kitten* wipes....

I got that and a few others from some of my old friends, needless to say I don't hang around them anymore and that was when I was between 40 - 42 kgs so I can just imagine what they would say now.

My dad always used to make comments about my "belly" since I hold most of my weight there instead of it spreading out everywhere. When I was 18 I dropped about 30lbs and had pretty much stopped eating, he thought it was a good idea to stop teasing me. Haven't heard a thing about it since, even though I've gained about 20 of those lbs back.

My dad did exactly the same thing and it hurt so bad, he has stopped now after I began to starve myself and lost a few kilos and then my step mum helped me get out of that frame of mind and talked to my dad, needless to say my dad has not said anything to me since then but now my friend does and she can't help herself especially when I am sitting down or treating my self to a donut or chocolate, I hate it but I don't know what to do or say to her about it.

My grandmother....

'You're never going to get married cuz no boys like a chubby girl. That's why you're single, isn't it?'

I didn't have the heart to tell her my boyfriend is Black...but probably should've cuz that would've shut her up...

What awful people there are out there.

I recently just had a talk with my mother which consisted of her telling me I should be like her neighbor and get 30k worth of liposuction and drop down to a size 10.

What a horrible thing for her to suggest.

Tell her you'd love to do it, and could she give you the 30k. Then spend it on a fabulous six month holiday. You'll have reached your target weight anyway by the time you get back - look mom no scars! :bigsmile: