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We broke up because...
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Got mad because I grabbed her booty too much!0
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Insisted we have ADULT RELATIONS on Hello Kitty sheets.0
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She gets a little handsy!0
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Our hello kitty sheets only came out once a month
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Is a dude.0
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he was too slow0
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She was obsessed with speed
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Talked to me only in baby talk because she didn't think I could understand.0
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Has never traveled internationally0
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He was always pretending to be an international spy.0
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Threatened to blow my cover as a mob informant!0
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She never liked me in my tux!0
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His tux was powder blue!0
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Don't act like you didn't dig it?0
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I was too into him, it creeped him out.0
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Was too optimistic0
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Was intimidated by my amazing nun chuck skills.0
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imitated Napoleon Dynamite in the bedroom. Unsexy, well except the dancing!0
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Ended an abusive relationship with a nunchuck ninja0
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Insisted we eat tator tots after sex.0
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He's just too awesome!0
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She was just way out of my league!0
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thought her ex was more awesome than me.0
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Cheated on me0
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he thought everything was cool as part of a team0
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She didn't like threesomes0
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She dumped me because I didn't last long enough0
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Dipped me repeatedly in chocolate frosting.0
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He was just so damn optimistic about everything....0
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He didn't like our food play! Hey I didn't know the nacho cheese sauce was THAT hot!0
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