Online Dating
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WednesdayJanuary07th2015 wrote: »chrisskellinton wrote: »chrisskellinton wrote: »Question: how many of you have trouble figuring out what to share when? One of the tough things for me in early communication is trying to avoid revealing too much too early while also not being purposely dodgy. It's a struggle to answer some of those ice-breaker questions early on ("Tell me about your family" and "Why haven't you been married?") when the honest answer can be quite complicated (and potentially TMI).
I had this dilemna when I was pregnant (as a surrogate). How much to explain on the profile vs. when to bring it up when messaging back and forth. I didn't want to arrange a meeting for coffee and show up visibly pregnant and have to explain as quickly as possible before he ran off. But when I put on my profile that I was pregnant, I got messages from MANY guys wanting me to send them pics of my bare baby bump. Or asking if I could still have sex. Or asking if my milk had come in yet.
You were worrying about dating while you were pregnant???????Srsly?
I wasn't "worried" about dating while I was pregnant as a surrogate. That's like worrying about dating while I'm donating blood, or while I'm out singing karaoke, or while I'm reading a book. Why should doing something I enjoy or something that is part of who I am prevent me from dating? My first surrogacy I started dating a guy when I was in my first month of pregnancy. We broke up for reasons unrelated to pregnancy 2 months after I delivered.
My only concern was at what point in the dating process I should bring it up to potential suitors.
I don't think you get my point. But I do think most people should know immediately.
No being a surrogate is not like donating blood etc. Having a kid whether it is yours or not is way more life changing to the other person than just doing something randomly like donating blood or singing karaoke.
Me being a guy and let's say I had recently broke up with a woman who was pregnant with my child. I think the other person should know that right away because it will affect them too and their choice to want to be with me.
As long as a woman is okay with dating a guy, whom has a child; it shouldn't matter what stage of life that child is in. Whether said child is in the womb or out.
Beg to differ. I would date a man with kids. Have no issue with it (at my age it's hard to find guys who don't already have kids anyway.) I would NOT date a man with one still cooking. That is a serious life transition (whether he is still with the mother or not) and he needs to be focused on that rather than dating. For him to do otherwise seems irresponsible and makes him unappealing to me.
There is no reason why he couldn't date, as long as he's also able to attend the prenatal appointments, etc., for his child as well. If I was pregnant & single, I'd be able to take my prenatal vitamins, etc., & date also. Therefore it's possible to date & also be responsible. Also what if it turns out that, the child wasn't his or 6 months after you start dating the guy, his ex reappears to inform him; that she's 8 months pregnant with his baby & the child actually is his?0 -
I had a guy pee in the bushes in front of my house after a date and he didnt think I saw.. then lost his keys.. he was very drunk and didnt remember anything that had happened the next day. That was one of the good dates I had been on lol JK I've had really bad ones!
LOL men when they drink
I was told (by my current boo) that he was nervous on our first date so he drank to relax himself. Maybe that's the case with these other first date drunks.
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WednesdayJanuary07th2015 wrote: »WednesdayJanuary07th2015 wrote: »chrisskellinton wrote: »chrisskellinton wrote: »Question: how many of you have trouble figuring out what to share when? One of the tough things for me in early communication is trying to avoid revealing too much too early while also not being purposely dodgy. It's a struggle to answer some of those ice-breaker questions early on ("Tell me about your family" and "Why haven't you been married?") when the honest answer can be quite complicated (and potentially TMI).
I had this dilemna when I was pregnant (as a surrogate). How much to explain on the profile vs. when to bring it up when messaging back and forth. I didn't want to arrange a meeting for coffee and show up visibly pregnant and have to explain as quickly as possible before he ran off. But when I put on my profile that I was pregnant, I got messages from MANY guys wanting me to send them pics of my bare baby bump. Or asking if I could still have sex. Or asking if my milk had come in yet.
You were worrying about dating while you were pregnant???????Srsly?
I wasn't "worried" about dating while I was pregnant as a surrogate. That's like worrying about dating while I'm donating blood, or while I'm out singing karaoke, or while I'm reading a book. Why should doing something I enjoy or something that is part of who I am prevent me from dating? My first surrogacy I started dating a guy when I was in my first month of pregnancy. We broke up for reasons unrelated to pregnancy 2 months after I delivered.
My only concern was at what point in the dating process I should bring it up to potential suitors.
I don't think you get my point. But I do think most people should know immediately.
No being a surrogate is not like donating blood etc. Having a kid whether it is yours or not is way more life changing to the other person than just doing something randomly like donating blood or singing karaoke.
Me being a guy and let's say I had recently broke up with a woman who was pregnant with my child. I think the other person should know that right away because it will affect them too and their choice to want to be with me.
As long as a woman is okay with dating a guy, whom has a child; it shouldn't matter what stage of life that child is in. Whether said child is in the womb or out.
Beg to differ. I would date a man with kids. Have no issue with it (at my age it's hard to find guys who don't already have kids anyway.) I would NOT date a man with one still cooking. That is a serious life transition (whether he is still with the mother or not) and he needs to be focused on that rather than dating. For him to do otherwise seems irresponsible and makes him unappealing to me.
There is no reason why he couldn't date, as long as he's also able to attend the prenatal appointments, etc., for his child as well. If I was pregnant & single, I'd be able to take my prenatal vitamins, etc., & date also. Therefore it's possible to date & also be responsible. Also what if it turns out that, the child wasn't his or 6 months after you start dating the guy, his ex reappears to inform him; that she's 8 months pregnant with his baby & the child actually is his?
Maybe I'm just old fashioned. I think if he's been THAT serious with someone in the last year or so (serious enough to get her pregnant,) he needs to take a break before diving back in to dating. Take a step back and reevaluate his life and priorities. If they were not seriously involved it's worse in my mind. If he randomly impregnates women he dates casually, he's not someone I'm going to want to date myself. That whole situation is not hard to avoid. Just my opinion. No need to take it as gospel.0 -
I had a guy pee in the bushes in front of my house after a date and he didnt think I saw.. then lost his keys.. he was very drunk and didnt remember anything that had happened the next day. That was one of the good dates I had been on lol JK I've had really bad ones!
LOL men when they drink
I was told (by my current boo) that he was nervous on our first date so he drank to relax himself. Maybe that's the case with these other first date drunks.
Not me. Not the date I talked about earlier in this thread. I think I said as long as she is the same exact person I have been talking to that the date will be awesome if not my best first date.
I went in with high expectations because I knew that she would be able to delivery on those expectation and yup it was my favorite date of all time.0 -
So lets give some advice on online dating, should and should nots and how to attract the other person.0
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[/quote] Maybe I'm just old fashioned. I think if he's been THAT serious with someone in the last year or so (serious enough to get her pregnant,) he needs to take a break before diving back in to dating. Take a step back and reevaluate his life and priorities. If they were not seriously involved it's worse in my mind. If he randomly impregnates women he dates casually, he's not someone I'm going to want to date myself. That whole situation is not hard to avoid. Just my opinion. No need to take it as gospel. [/quote]
I agree with you. I would not date a man who had a child on the way. I wouldn't even date a man with a child 2 years old or younger. If he could leave someone while pregnant or be careless enough to get someone pregnant while they are not in a committed relationship, he's not my type.
I could never be comfortable with him going to doctor's visits or things of that nature.
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Dating advice for online dating
-Be honest about what you want. There is someone out there who wants the same thing, no need to lie or mislead someone.
-Be openminded about distance, chances are, your soulmate is not within 20 miles of you.
-Have fun!0 -
Dating advice for online dating
-Be honest about what you want. There is someone out there who wants the same thing, no need to lie or mislead someone.
-Be openminded about distance, chances are, your soulmate is not within 20 miles of you.
-Have fun!
this is truth. I met my late husband online and he lived about 100 miles from me. We made it work until he moved in with me.0 -
Dating advice for online dating
-Be honest about what you want. There is someone out there who wants the same thing, no need to lie or mislead someone.
-Be openminded about distance, chances are, your soulmate is not within 20 miles of you.
-Have fun!
You know I was talking to a friend about how most girls would not be down for just hooking up. He agreed and said sometimes you got to lie about that stuff. He is my age. So I was talking with another friend older and my older brother. They both said you will be surprise that honest will go a long way. Turns out the older and wiser were right.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »Dating advice for online dating
-Be honest about what you want. There is someone out there who wants the same thing, no need to lie or mislead someone.
-Be openminded about distance, chances are, your soulmate is not within 20 miles of you.
-Have fun!
You know I was talking to a friend about how most girls would not be down for just hooking up. He agreed and said sometimes you got to lie about that stuff. He is my age. So I was talking with another friend older and my older brother. They both said you will be surprise that honest will go a long way. Turns out the older and wiser were right.
Yep, I know at least 2 women who are not looking for a commitment but they are still "dating". It happens
A lot less problems to worry about and less lies to keep up with. If you meet someone who isn't looking for what you're looking for, just keep moving.
When I was dating, I had guys message me online and once I saw their profile as "nothing serious" or "dating" I would politely inform them that we weren't seeking the same things.
Of course they'd immediately try to change their story LOL but I wasn't buying it.
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Dating advice for online dating
-Be honest about what you want. There is someone out there who wants the same thing, no need to lie or mislead someone.
-Be openminded about distance, chances are, your soulmate is not within 20 miles of you.
-Have fun!
Yup, good advise. Also, it doesn't matter if you meet online, in a bar, or in the grocery store. You are going to run into some weirdos before you meet the one weirdo who's right for you!
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Dating advice for online dating
-Be honest about what you want. There is someone out there who wants the same thing, no need to lie or mislead someone.
-Be openminded about distance, chances are, your soulmate is not within 20 miles of you.
-Have fun!
Yup, good advise. Also, it doesn't matter if you meet online, in a bar, or in the grocery store. You are going to run into some weirdos before you meet the one weirdo who's right for you!
True only some make a good guess and guess right on there first time.
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My 2 month review of assorted sites, small sample size, but here is what I've got so far. I am a shorter guy so I many times get filtered out by the height requirement and now a single dad as well, but hey I am honest on height and work with what I got. I do get responses though.
Tinder - Tried it a few times, got a few "matches" conversation usually ends after a few lines. Now, I'm not a playa and don't have tons of "game" so that is probably it. I have a friend that literally had a rotation of about 10 women he was sleeping with. So, if you do have tons of game and looking for a hookup guess that is your place.
Okcupid - I actually met my ex-wife on here 6 years ago. We obviously are going through a divorce, but overall we meshed ok, just too many differences. I do like all the questions you can answer to kind of screen people first. I believe you will get half serious half not on the site since it is mostly free. Responses on this site are limited in my exp.
POF- Never used, so no comment
Zoosk - Apparantely new kid on the block. Signed up for just a bit. Too expensive and tons of spam accounts. I suggest staying off of it, but guess you could have luck. In order to do anything additional (even after y our expensive subcription) you have to buy these dumb tokens. Its a money scam. Fake accounts viewing you all the time.
Match - So far this seems to have the most serious women about actual relationships. I wish it had more questionnaire type stuff like Okcupid and it would easily be the best one out there by a mile. I get the most responses from this site and the women seem to be mostly serious.
I have so far only had 1 actual date as the others have fizzled out during conversation because we just didn't mesh. I got put in friendzone on that date, but no biggie.
As far as being a Dad with shared custody, I've found other single Mom's "get it" and those without kids are still usually in party mode, want tons of free time, or just don't want to be involved with someone else's kids. So, I target other single parents
There is my assessment of only 2 months 0 -
Markdjones83 wrote: »My 2 month review of assorted sites, ...
Thanks for the info Mark -- Handy (at least for me).
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Markdjones83 wrote: »My 2 month review of assorted sites, small sample size, but here is what I've got so far. I am a shorter guy so I many times get filtered out by the height requirement and now a single dad as well, but hey I am honest on height and work with what I got. I do get responses though.
Tinder - Tried it a few times, got a few "matches" conversation usually ends after a few lines. Now, I'm not a playa and don't have tons of "game" so that is probably it. I have a friend that literally had a rotation of about 10 women he was sleeping with. So, if you do have tons of game and looking for a hookup guess that is your place.
Okcupid - I actually met my ex-wife on here 6 years ago. We obviously are going through a divorce, but overall we meshed ok, just too many differences. I do like all the questions you can answer to kind of screen people first. I believe you will get half serious half not on the site since it is mostly free. Responses on this site are limited in my exp.
POF- Never used, so no comment
Zoosk - Apparantely new kid on the block. Signed up for just a bit. Too expensive and tons of spam accounts. I suggest staying off of it, but guess you could have luck. In order to do anything additional (even after y our expensive subcription) you have to buy these dumb tokens. Its a money scam. Fake accounts viewing you all the time.
Match - So far this seems to have the most serious women about actual relationships. I wish it had more questionnaire type stuff like Okcupid and it would easily be the best one out there by a mile. I get the most responses from this site and the women seem to be mostly serious.
I have so far only had 1 actual date as the others have fizzled out during conversation because we just didn't mesh. I got put in friendzone on that date, but no biggie.
As far as being a Dad with shared custody, I've found other single Mom's "get it" and those without kids are still usually in party mode, want tons of free time, or just don't want to be involved with someone else's kids. So, I target other single parents
There is my assessment of only 2 months
Zoosk was where I find a girl who claimed to be in love within 3 days of talking to me.0 -
Random interjection: I hate the term "friendzone." Guys get mad when you put them in the friendzone. It implies that they should be entitled to more just because they took the time to get to know you.
Guys who whine about being a "nice guy" generally really aren't.0 -
Random interjection: I hate the term "friendzone." Guys get mad when you put them in the friendzone. It implies that they should be entitled to more just because they took the time to get to know you.
Guys who whine about being a "nice guy" generally really aren't.
I don't mean it in a derogatory tone. I use it as the term that there isn't romantic interest. I don't hold it against a woman if that is what she feels, just move on and try again!
I have been known to not articulate what I mean well and I guess it gets me in trouble
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Markdjones83 wrote: »Random interjection: I hate the term "friendzone." Guys get mad when you put them in the friendzone. It implies that they should be entitled to more just because they took the time to get to know you.
Guys who whine about being a "nice guy" generally really aren't.
I don't mean it in a derogatory tone. I use it as the term that there isn't romantic interest. I don't hold it against a woman if that is what she feels, just move on and try again!
I have been known to not articulate what I mean well and I guess it gets me in trouble
That wasn't a potshot at you. I was literally just having a conversation with some dude whining about the friendzone. I asked him if he ever ignored a perfectly nice woman just because he didn't find her physically attractive. His answer was, of course, silence. Such a beta move! Lol.
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Yes, physical attraction is important in any relationship in my opnion. Now, the definition of physical attraction for each person is different which is good for all of us!0
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What should we do to lay a positive impact on the first online date?
You know first impact is so crucial in online dating. If you loose it, you might not find a second chance0 -
Hell don't ask me, I'm not having much luck.0
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I met my boyfriend on an online dating site... Accept not for relationships... More of the hookup/hangout type... POF anyone? Neither of us was looking for something serious but we definitely found it0
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Never went on a date where the guy didn't express immediately that he was just there to have sex. Online dating is terrible!0
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What should we do to lay a positive impact on the first online date?
You know first impact is so crucial in online dating. If you loose it, you might not find a second chance
I think you should wear that outfit you're pictured in. It's straightforward, informative and machine washable.
I like simplicity
But what is the role of machine washability in online dating?0 -
I think the best advice to attract a girl can be heard from another girl.0
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Markdjones83 wrote: »Hell don't ask me, I'm not having much luck.
You are good looking. Keep searching.0 -
newmeadow he isn't from here originally and english is probably his 2nd language. I don't think he is picking up on your sarcasm lol.0
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all of my online dating experiences have been good. then again, i play video games with people online for a good week or so before i agree to meet in person, so i take a good amount of time to scope them out first and make sure they're not some creepy entitled neckbeard with anger problems.0
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Never dated online, but thanks for the warning, guys.
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This discussion has been closed.
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