Online Dating

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  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
    needernt wrote: »
    When dating online, Do you think when is the best time to ask the other person out which is not too soon or late?
    I mean not to appear so pushy and turn the other one off, or maybe we should wait for the other person to ask us out?

    Seems like that would be on a case-by-case basis depending on how well you're meshing with and getting to know the person. Everyone is different. Basic comfort levels are important and the time needed to get there could easily vary a lot.
  • needernt
    needernt Posts: 675 Member
    needernt wrote: »
    When dating online, Do you think when is the best time to ask the other person out which is not too soon or late?
    I mean not to appear so pushy and turn the other one off, or maybe we should wait for the other person to ask us out?

    Seems like that would be on a case-by-case basis depending on how well you're meshing with and getting to know the person. Everyone is different. Basic comfort levels are important and the time needed to get there could easily vary a lot.

    It is more complicated than I thought :o
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    eggcluck wrote: »
    I tried dating websites for a couple of years, got no dates. I spent hours reading profiles and writing a custom message for each profile, in those two years I think only about three people bothered to give me a reply.

    "I will reply to anyone that takes the time to write me a decent message and not just <Hi> I ignore those people". Saw a few of those profiles, of course they never replied to me, got my blond haired blue eyed brother just to send a <Hi> ,....they replied with an essay.

    They're not interested bro.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    kershaann wrote: »
    He was a 27 year old virgin..........enough said

    So the issue here is he's clean?

  • Anahita_Swims
    Anahita_Swims Posts: 4,127 Member
    gosh so many horror stories...

    so glad i never get these type of guys :)
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    needernt wrote: »
    When dating online, Do you think when is the best time to ask the other person out which is not too soon or late?
    I mean not to appear so pushy and turn the other one off, or maybe we should wait for the other person to ask us out?

    You have some interesting questions. I cannot tell if it's sarcasm or genuine just don't know. MY answer though is do not put these women in a one size fits all.
  • needernt
    needernt Posts: 675 Member
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    needernt wrote: »
    When dating online, Do you think when is the best time to ask the other person out which is not too soon or late?
    I mean not to appear so pushy and turn the other one off, or maybe we should wait for the other person to ask us out?

    You have some interesting questions. I cannot tell if it's sarcasm or genuine just don't know. MY answer though is do not put these women in a one size fits all.

    Women are complicated!
  • Dragn77
    Dragn77 Posts: 810 Member
    edited March 2015
    needernt wrote: »
    When dating online, Do you think when is the best time to ask the other person out which is not too soon or late?
    I mean not to appear so pushy and turn the other one off, or maybe we should wait for the other person to ask us out?

    Example 1: A guy I ended contact with 2 days ago... First email, he says he likes my profile, asks me for my number so that we can talk and meet. I replied saying Id rather get to know him a bit before giving out my number. Next email, tells me about his day..then says, now can I have your number? Then he tells me about his and his moms health problems, and again, now can I get your number? Every email, about one a week for a month was some random boring info then a request for my number. He never got it. - btw, in all of this, he never once asked anything about me.

    Example 2: A guy comments on something in my profile, asks me a few questions. I reply, answered, asked a few about him. By the second round of emails, I was looking forward to his reply, like eager to get to know him better cause every email made me smile. By the third, when he asked if we could hear each others voices, I was like YES heres my digits! Call me! And we ended up meeting within a week of our first email.

    Basically, it comes down to how well you click with each other. If you're at the point where you are excited to hear from her, and she seems excited to hear from you too...convo by email is effortless then yeah, go for it! Otherwise, wait until that happens...could be one email, could be a handful. But I think if after a few emails the exchange is still lackluster and boring..then cut your losses.

    Not too complicated I dont think! lol
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    Dragn77 wrote: »
    needernt wrote: »
    When dating online, Do you think when is the best time to ask the other person out which is not too soon or late?
    I mean not to appear so pushy and turn the other one off, or maybe we should wait for the other person to ask us out?

    Example 1: A guy I ended contact with 2 days ago... First email, he says he likes my profile, asks me for my number so that we can talk and meet. I replied saying Id rather get to know him a bit before giving out my number. Next email, tells me about his day..then says, now can I have your number? Then he tells me about his and his moms health problems, and again, now can I get your number? Every email, about one a week for a month was some random boring info then a request for my number. He never got it.

    Example 2: A guy comments on something in my profile, asks me a few questions. I reply, answered, asked a few about him. By the second round of emails, I was looking forward to his reply, like eager to get to know him better cause every email made me smile. By the third, when he asked if we could hear each others voices, I was like YES heres my digits! Call me! And we ended up meeting within a week of our first email.

    Basically, it comes down to how well you click with each other. If you're at the point where you are excited to hear from her, and she seems excited to hear from you too...convo by email is effortless then yeah, go for it! Otherwise, wait until that happens...could be one email, could be a handful. But I think if after a few emails the exchange is still lackluster and boring..then cut your losses.

    Not too complicated I dont think! lol

    The bold made me think of this:

    Time_can-I-have-yo-numba.jpg

    lol
  • Dragn77
    Dragn77 Posts: 810 Member
    needernt wrote: »

    Women are complicated!

    I think men are!! LoL Last night, a guy sent me a wink. I emailed saying thanks for the wink and asked how he was doing tonight. The next few emails were me asking him questions, and him replying in one curt sentence..if he hadnt made the first move, Id think he wasnt interested *at all!!!*

    Finally, I told him if hes interested to know anything about me, to please ask! I told him its making me feel nosey being the only one asking any questions. In response, he said hes shy until he warms up and gets to know someone.

    So Im uber confused..how is he supposed to get to know me..if he doesnt ask me anything and just replies to my questions with one sentence emails? Lol So Im just supposed to keep on interrogating him til he feels like partaking in a conversation? A lot of guys do that though.

  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    needernt wrote: »
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    needernt wrote: »
    When dating online, Do you think when is the best time to ask the other person out which is not too soon or late?
    I mean not to appear so pushy and turn the other one off, or maybe we should wait for the other person to ask us out?

    You have some interesting questions. I cannot tell if it's sarcasm or genuine just don't know. MY answer though is do not put these women in a one size fits all.

    Women are complicated!

    That I can agree with you on but just keep things honest and it might not be as complicated as you make it.

  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    Dragn77 wrote: »
    needernt wrote: »

    Women are complicated!

    I think men are!! LoL Last night, a guy sent me a wink. I emailed saying thanks for the wink and asked how he was doing tonight. The next few emails were me asking him questions, and him replying in one curt sentence..if he hadnt made the first move, Id think he wasnt interested *at all!!!*

    Finally, I told him if hes interested to know anything about me, to please ask! I told him its making me feel nosey being the only one asking any questions. In response, he said hes shy until he warms up and gets to know someone.

    So Im uber confused..how is he supposed to get to know me..if he doesnt ask me anything and just replies to my questions with one sentence emails? Lol So Im just supposed to keep on interrogating him til he feels like partaking in a conversation? A lot of guys do that though.

    You talking to the wrong type of guys.


  • needernt
    needernt Posts: 675 Member
    Dragn77 wrote: »
    needernt wrote: »

    Women are complicated!

    I think men are!! LoL Last night, a guy sent me a wink. I emailed saying thanks for the wink and asked how he was doing tonight. The next few emails were me asking him questions, and him replying in one curt sentence..if he hadnt made the first move, Id think he wasnt interested *at all!!!*

    Finally, I told him if hes interested to know anything about me, to please ask! I told him its making me feel nosey being the only one asking any questions. In response, he said hes shy until he warms up and gets to know someone.

    So Im uber confused..how is he supposed to get to know me..if he doesnt ask me anything and just replies to my questions with one sentence emails? Lol So Im just supposed to keep on interrogating him til he feels like partaking in a conversation? A lot of guys do that though.

    That is strange !!
  • needernt
    needernt Posts: 675 Member
    edited March 2015
    Dragn77 wrote: »
    needernt wrote: »
    When dating online, Do you think when is the best time to ask the other person out which is not too soon or late?
    I mean not to appear so pushy and turn the other one off, or maybe we should wait for the other person to ask us out?

    Example 1: A guy I ended contact with 2 days ago... First email, he says he likes my profile, asks me for my number so that we can talk and meet. I replied saying Id rather get to know him a bit before giving out my number. Next email, tells me about his day..then says, now can I have your number? Then he tells me about his and his moms health problems, and again, now can I get your number? Every email, about one a week for a month was some random boring info then a request for my number. He never got it. - btw, in all of this, he never once asked anything about me.

    Example 2: A guy comments on something in my profile, asks me a few questions. I reply, answered, asked a few about him. By the second round of emails, I was looking forward to his reply, like eager to get to know him better cause every email made me smile. By the third, when he asked if we could hear each others voices, I was like YES heres my digits! Call me! And we ended up meeting within a week of our first email.

    Basically, it comes down to how well you click with each other. If you're at the point where you are excited to hear from her, and she seems excited to hear from you too...convo by email is effortless then yeah, go for it! Otherwise, wait until that happens...could be one email, could be a handful. But I think if after a few emails the exchange is still lackluster and boring..then cut your losses.

    Not too complicated I dont think! lol

    It's a practical point. I'll stich to it. Thank you.
    But why men must always beg for number, why don't women try to ask or share their number?
  • Pinuplvr1218
    Pinuplvr1218 Posts: 105 Member
    edited March 2015
    This happened just this past Saturday actually. It was the 2nd time we had gone out. The first time he didn't kiss me. He did the 2nd and it was AWFUL! I felt like I was a 13 year old getting my first kiss. He was too fast and all over the place. I don't want to be a jerk and make that be a deal breaker but *shudder*.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    This happened just this past Saturday actually. It was the 2nd time we had gone out. The first time he didn't kiss me. He did the 2nd and it was AWFUL! I felt like I was a 13 year old getting my first kiss. He was too fast and all over the place. I don't want to be a jerk and make that be a deal breaker but *shudder*.

    SO teach him. Problem solved. That why he ain't kiss you on the first date because he knew something you didn't. That him though.

    If I have a slightest feeling of getting a kiss on first date I going after it. So I did have a date like a month ago with someone I meant online. The mood felt right. I almost knew 100% that she was into me. I even ask if she wanted a kiss. 45 minutes later of making out like teenagers in a car when we both have a place we can be her or mine. Here is the thing though and that I will say I matured during that. I was like so this is happening right now so why rush things I kind of like her. I was honest with her about that and find out she had others things in mind. I was sad for all of the time in took for her to send the text after that text.



  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    needernt wrote: »
    Dragn77 wrote: »
    needernt wrote: »
    When dating online, Do you think when is the best time to ask the other person out which is not too soon or late?
    I mean not to appear so pushy and turn the other one off, or maybe we should wait for the other person to ask us out?

    Example 1: A guy I ended contact with 2 days ago... First email, he says he likes my profile, asks me for my number so that we can talk and meet. I replied saying Id rather get to know him a bit before giving out my number. Next email, tells me about his day..then says, now can I have your number? Then he tells me about his and his moms health problems, and again, now can I get your number? Every email, about one a week for a month was some random boring info then a request for my number. He never got it. - btw, in all of this, he never once asked anything about me.

    Example 2: A guy comments on something in my profile, asks me a few questions. I reply, answered, asked a few about him. By the second round of emails, I was looking forward to his reply, like eager to get to know him better cause every email made me smile. By the third, when he asked if we could hear each others voices, I was like YES heres my digits! Call me! And we ended up meeting within a week of our first email.

    Basically, it comes down to how well you click with each other. If you're at the point where you are excited to hear from her, and she seems excited to hear from you too...convo by email is effortless then yeah, go for it! Otherwise, wait until that happens...could be one email, could be a handful. But I think if after a few emails the exchange is still lackluster and boring..then cut your losses.

    Not too complicated I dont think! lol

    It's a practical point. I'll stich to it. Thank you.
    But why men must always beg for number, why don't women try to ask or share their number?

    LOL I'm guilty of this too. I don't want your facebook or instagram. I want that number.
  • Belle8312
    Belle8312 Posts: 2,151 Member
    Frustrated, annoyed and about to give up is how I'm feeling right now. :(
    I keep attracting people that are crazy weird or just want sex. Don't get me wrong, a girl had needs too, but do you have to start a message with "do you like giving oral"? Where the hell are all the good guys?

    Interestingly, I have learned so much about open relationships, I could probably write a book.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    Belle8312 wrote: »
    Frustrated, annoyed and about to give up is how I'm feeling right now. :(
    I keep attracting people that are crazy weird or just want sex. Don't get me wrong, a girl had needs too, but do you have to start a message with "do you like giving oral"? Where the hell are all the good guys?

    Interestingly, I have learned so much about open relationships, I could probably write a book.

    That why i wonder if some guys are like " What is the craziest thing we can say to this woman." What some men don't realize is that you don't have to talk about having sex to have sex. I was trying to remember when I brought up anything sexual with this girl I am talking to online. I don't remember.
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
    needernt wrote: »
    I met my husband online. The only reason I agreed to meet with him was that his message to me was grammatically correct, and actually intelligent sounding. Considering 99% of the messages sent to me previously were some variation of "hey baby..." it was really refreshing to have someone put some effort in. Or at least effort that wasn't completely centred around getting me into bed, or send nude pictures.

    Interesting point, So the way we message and how distinctive our style is can make a lot f difference.

    Same reason I agreed to meet with my man, he was articulate, funny, and knew how to communicate with more than 3 syllables.
    Good for him because, his profile and pics did him no justice.
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
    Worst online experience was when a man I declined to meet with wrote back with how I shouldn't believe his ex wife spreading the internet with how much he abused her :huh: :noway:
  • taco_inspector
    taco_inspector Posts: 7,223 Member
    edited March 2015
    Belle8312 wrote: »
    ... Where the hell are all the good guys? ...

    I'd imagine that there are "good guys" online, but they may be "good" and not message you to ask for physical favors. Additionally, when "drinking from the fire-hose" that is online-dating (a lot of exposure), the loudest people may be all that you can discern.

    If the 'oral' requests work 0.5% of the time, then all a good *kitten* need do is send 200 no-effort/no-cost messages to get himself serviced (it does work, or they wouldn't be doing it; just like SPAM emails). Meanwhile, your prince is reading profiles and crafting sincere messages for a few ladies at a time.

    These dating sites have huge populations, and if you were to venture into a single's bar with a million people, there'd be a few "good guys", and about 999,900 people that could be classified as "Lounge Lizards"... I believe that you've gotta have a good understanding of what you're looking for (or willing to accept), and accept nothing less. Further that you'll want to be your own advocate and reach-out to those people that represent that they align with your ideals.

    But really, WTF do I know? I'm single, and have online horror stories of my own...


    ...(what if it really does take only 200 messages?)
  • 1Hunie
    1Hunie Posts: 176
    At this point my horror stories make excellent conversation pieces. I enjoy laughing at them now. Nothing scared me away from online dating, I'd do it again.
  • Dragn77
    Dragn77 Posts: 810 Member
    needernt wrote: »

    It's a practical point. I'll stich to it. Thank you.
    But why men must always beg for number, why don't women try to ask or share their number?

    Awe...its not that men must beg, just asking is enough!! lol It doesnt have to be a negative thing to ask someone for their number! Also, I definitely have told guys Id like to talk on the phone if things are going well. I dont like endless emails, so if I feel like things are going great and Im ready to take it to the next step, I have no problems saying, heres my number, call me!

    Just so happened that in my example, that particular guy asked me after only 3 emails, and we were vibing so well I didnt hesitate to give it to him! I just used him as an example to illustrate the difference between someone who asked too soon, and someone who asked at just the right time.
  • Dragn77
    Dragn77 Posts: 810 Member
    Belle8312 wrote: »
    ... Where the hell are all the good guys? ...

    I'd imagine that there are "good guys" online, but they may be "good" and not message you to ask for physical favors. Additionally, when "drinking from the fire-hose" that is online-dating (a lot of exposure), the loudest people may be all that you can discern.

    If the 'oral' requests work 0.5% of the time, then all a good *kitten* need do is send 200 no-effort/no-cost messages to get himself serviced (it does work, or they wouldn't be doing it; just like SPAM emails). Meanwhile, your prince is reading profiles and crafting sincere messages for a few ladies at a time.

    These dating sites have huge populations, and if you were to venture into a single's bar with a million people, there'd be a few "good guys", and about 999,900 people that could be classified as "Lounge Lizards"... I believe that you've gotta have a good understanding of what you're looking for (or willing to accept), and accept nothing less. Further that you'll want to be your own advocate and reach-out to those people that represent that they align with your ideals.

    But really, WTF do I know? I'm single, and have online horror stories of my own...


    ...(what if it really does take only 200 messages?)

    Oh you are spot on. Ive heard many of my male friends talk about "The Numbers Game"... The more women they approach, the better the odds one of them will say yes. Also, how crass they are is relative to how interested they are..if they genuinely like a girl, they will be on their best behavior..if they could care less if she says yes or no, they will say the most insane things...just because. And if she falls for it, oh well, her fault..he layed it out from the first thing out of his mouth that he didnt have any respect for her.

    Stuff like that, I keep in mind.
  • Markdjones83
    Markdjones83 Posts: 852 Member
    I had a girl recently I thought I was vibing with and I sent her my number to see if she wanted to text cause it was hard to go back and forth on the site. Just got silence after that.

    I've given up at this point!
  • erinj16
    erinj16 Posts: 32 Member
    I wouldn't necessarily say "worst" but most awkward.... I went on a date with someone from Match after having talked to them over the phone for about a week. The date went ok, but then afterwards as he was walking me to my car, he pulled out two dozen roses from his car, and also proceeded to give me an expensive watch.
    I tried to give back the watch the next day but he refused to take it. I felt like he was literally trying to 'buy' me.
  • Dragn77
    Dragn77 Posts: 810 Member
    I had a girl recently I thought I was vibing with and I sent her my number to see if she wanted to text cause it was hard to go back and forth on the site. Just got silence after that.

    I've given up at this point!

    Some people are like that...they just want an email buddy. Or just foolling around online with no real interest in actually meeting anyone. Thats why I dont like endless emails.

    I did have a guy last month who we exchanged numbers...we're texting, everything is cool. Then he sends a text to me saying..."Oh, Im just chilling at FIU waiting for my girl to get out of class so we can get dinner" I was like..thats nice, thanks for letting me know.

    ...silence. Then he tried to play it off... "what I meant was, are you picking up your daughter from school soon? Whats for dinner?" Uh huh...
  • Thelinna
    Thelinna Posts: 10 Member
    In a relationship now with someone I met online, but shortly before meeting my boyfriend, I had a date with this one guy I met on OKC.

    He seemed okay so I agreed to meet him for coffee. Told me he had a daughter, which is fine by me. But then he told me that his 'psychotic ex wife' accused him of abusing his daughter and he had visitation rights taken away for a while. And then he started demanding that we smooch. On our first date. In public. He didn't ask for a kiss. He literally said "Gimme them lips!" Ew. I just got the creepiest vibes from him.
  • crystalstinson7
    crystalstinson7 Posts: 101 Member
    This isn't really about a date, but I met someone online a LOOONG time ago who I really connected with. I saw his picture and even talked with him on the phone (all the time). When I finally started getting antsy about meeting--like after nearly a year--he would avoid the subject. He lived in New Jersey and had mentioned a few times how he would go into NYC on weekends to shop or catch a show. I like to travel so I told him I'd meet him in NYC. He didn't sound excited it about it, but I was persistent. I asked a girlfriend to go with me. I mean, if I wasn't going to meet this guy, which it was sounding like, I could at least have a good time with my friend! Anyhow, I get to New York and I'm like, "It's now or never." It was never. He refused to meet me and when I came back home, he called and confessed that he was really just a 14 year old boy!!!!!! :o Needless to say, that "relationship" went kaput!