The Things No One Tells You About Weight Loss

Just because I don't *have* to be a "cardio bunny," doesn't mean I *can't* be one if that's what I enjoy. Learning to tune out opinionated MUSTs and MUST NOTs has been key.

That said, just because I despise lifting, doesn't mean I shouldn't still DO it - bone health, weight bearing exercise, and all that.

Not everyone will be excited and happy for you when you lose - but you'll find out who your truest friends are.

Speaking of "true friends," sometimes, you'll find out that you AREN'T one to some of the people in your real life, and you'll have to do some work to change that. My best friend of almost 25 years moans and cries about her weight and I get frustrated. It's hard not to offer unsolicited advice, and I'll ashamedly admit it's hard not to think negatively about her sometimes. My mom calls me her "inspiration," even though she doesn't seem particularly "inspired" to actually make changes, and it's positively maddening. I'm actively working on it.

You can't force change in others, no matter how much it may be needed. My husband is morbidly obese, and I have a real hard time walking the line of being genuinely worried for his health without being a pushy, angry bish about it. The more I push, the more he balks and even goes in the opposite direction. But it is a huge concern and I don't know how to address it.

My husband and I were both fat and sex was OK. Now that I'm much thinner and he's not, sex is painful. We've had to come up with alternate positions or I feel crushed. Sad truth.

When two people (or more) in the house are dieting, meeting everyone's caloric needs can be a royal pain in the a** for the cook. Because of my new activity level, my intake to lose is about 500 cal higher than my husband's needed intake to lose. If I cook lower calorie foods so that he can eat the large portions he is comfortable with, then I have a hard time meeting my own goal because I can't physically handle that volume of food anymore. (I know... ice cream and potato chips can help, but if I keep ice cream and potato chips in the house, guess who doesn't exercise self control and then there isn't any left for me)

But now that I've listed a pile of negatives, I'd like to end with some positives:

Thrift stores are awesome for the shrinking wardrobe (but you might develop an inability to force yourself to shell out for NEW stuff that fits when you're maintaining, OMG)

Genuine compliments come from some of the most unexpected places - a cashier at my local grocery store recently told me that her 65-lb weight loss was inspired by watching me come in looking smaller every time, and that she paid attention to what I was buying. Someone who works at another store I frequent never fails to ask how I'm doing and how close I am to my goal, which could be weird but she's great about not making it weird at all.

It's not that complicated. In fact, the more simple your plan, the easy it is to implement and sustain.

Phrick wrote: »

Genuine compliments come from some of the most unexpected places - a cashier at my local grocery store recently told me that her 65-lb weight loss was inspired by watching me come in looking smaller every time, and that she paid attention to what I was buying.

Among the SO many truths, insights, and observations conveyed by the wonderful folks in this thread, I somehow feel compelled to take a moment right now to comment on (and celebrate) the specific (and fantastic) reality quoted above... (I just chanced upon this thread, and look forward to later contributing a series of 'hey, guess what'(s) that have been unveiled to my mind and eyes, during my journey , but for now, I'd like to shine a spotlight on the quoted excerpt above)...

Phrick, the fact that your life-changing actions -- and their results -- positively influenced, inspired, and resulted in profound change in someone else's life, highlights one of the gifts we can unknowingly give to others by simply being the best version of ourselves that we can be (and more often than not, we'll never be aware of having had any such impact -- but in some ways, it would seem to be an inevitable reality for it to occur).

While we might not happen to start out with any awareness of how our individual journeys may positively affect the lives of people who we happen to cross paths with (or if/when simply seen by, or casually interacting with, any of various random strangers in our midst (and whose existence or eyes on us (and even if only fleetingly) we might not ever learn of)), it nonetheless remains that one of the many wondrous potential realities that exists as we embark on change, 'double down' on commitment, and 'keep at it', is that any of various consequences of our improved way of living just might 'be' the 'whatever it is' that someone else happens to notice, and just might need, to make a difference in *their* life.

Additionally, on the flip-side, there are definitely others who have no idea that in my having noticed even one aspect of something associated with the 'how' of what they're doing, or the outcome of what they've done, or the confidence emanating from them as they do whatever they've set out to do (or even if/when they're not yet confident, but they forge on, and simply *try*, and *do*), has informed, inspired, and positively affected me in my journey -- let alone, that it continues to... (it's remarkable that some aspect of some random stranger, who happened to be in the vicinity of where I happened to be, at one just-by-chance moment in time, and who was simply living their life -- and unbeknownst to them, served as an example to me -- not only had a positive impact on me, but that it seems to 'live on', indefinitely)...

We have no idea what sort of 'point of light' we might end up being in the life of another, as we navigate and continue our respective journeys... but it's a pretty wonderful consequence...

Ooh, would love to see this thread get going again...

PJPrimrose wrote: »

Lifting heavy is always better than working with light weights for "toning only". Heavy weights increase your tone, strength, and speed for sports even if you can't or do not want to "bulk". The difference was astounding! Also, you burn a whole heck of a lot more calories to support muscle. I didn't know that either. Women who lift heavy don't start to look like men unless they "juice" with steroids. You cannot tell they lift until they flex or lift something really heavy. You also shrink without losing weight with heavy lifting. I've found cardio (my sport is cardio heavy) and heavy weights are the perfect combination.

1. Sometimes it takes awhile to see yourself how you really look- 56 pounds heavier, I was in denial of how heavy I was. Now how I look matches with how I used to think I looked.
2. Exercise doesn't only burn calories but feels really good and improves my mood tremendously!
3. It's not about cutting out foods you love, but rather, being smarter about balancing what you eat.

mzbek24 wrote: »

That you can eat fairly healthy food and exercise and still stay the same weight or even put on weight, if you're not eating at a deficit.

My meal portion sizes were all pretty massive and I accidentally maintained at 76kg for years, with several failed attempts to lose weight. I was almost ready to give up, thinking my body just wanted to be that weight because it always bounced back to it if I lost a couple of kilos. With MFP I have now finally got down to 71kg, 7 more to go!

This happened to me, too! Weighing and tracking accurately and just knowing your maintenance versus deficit calories is mind opening!

People will ask you how you lost the weight, ignore that advice, and come back and complain to you that they are getting fatter. Story of my life right now.

People will comment on your body no matter what you do. You gain weight, everyone comments on how bad you look. You lose weight, everyone comments on your eating habits, you're too skinny, you work out too much, etc. So you just do it for yourself and don't try to please anyone!

That running has kept me sane.

People can be really mean.

Once you are eating healthy and taking care of yourself, you find that that "cheat day" does more damage than good....especially to your bowels

Hanging skin sucks balls. Infections and creams....daily.

Not everyone will be supportive. In fact, some people, even family will be horrible and only point out negatives.

That, whether you know it our not, your changes are being noticedd. My son is taking after his father, but last week asked if he could go on my run...he made it one loop. He is also making better choices food wise Melts my heart.

And last but not least, seeing my body change is amazing.