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Lame Jokes. And I mean REALLY lame.

KrysKiss87
KrysKiss87 Posts: 124 Member
in Chit-Chat
I wanna hear your worst Lame joke. THE WORST.
Example: "Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
Both crews were marooned."
«13456

Replies

  • Texasgntlman
    Texasgntlman Posts: 50 Member
    Did you hear the one about the guy who walked into a bar..? "Ouch!.. That hurt"
  • tincanonastring
    tincanonastring Posts: 3,944 Member
    A horse walks into the bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?"
  • tincanonastring
    tincanonastring Posts: 3,944 Member
    In for new dad jokes...
  • aquamarina_182
    aquamarina_182 Posts: 119 Member
    Why did the teddy bear decline dessert? Because he was stuffed.
  • Texasgntlman
    Texasgntlman Posts: 50 Member
    A toothless termite walked into a bar and asked "where's the Bartender (bar tender)?"
  • 530roman
    530roman Posts: 1,819 Member
    Wanna hear a dirty joke? The white horse fell in the mud
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    A man walked into a bar, OUCH!
  • Texasgntlman
    Texasgntlman Posts: 50 Member
    What do you get when you throw a hand grenade in the kitchen?
    Linoleum blown apart (Napolian Beuanapart)
  • Texasgntlman
    Texasgntlman Posts: 50 Member
    Spnneil06 wrote: »
    A man walked into a bar, OUCH!

    I think I started with that one -but it's funnier when you tell it ;)
  • haleklausen
    haleklausen Posts: 1,857 Member
    A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street. The priest sees a twelve year old boy walking to the corner. The priest says lets *kitten* him. The Rabbi says oughta what?
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    Texasgntlman wrote: »
    Spnneil06 wrote: »
    A man walked into a bar, OUCH!

    I think I started with that one -but it's funnier when you tell it ;)

    I didn't read, but yours was funny too haha! lol
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  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    asflatasapancake wrote: »
    Why did the monkey fall out the tree?

    Because he was dead. [/quote

    I find this one amusing!
  • Texasgntlman
    Texasgntlman Posts: 50 Member
    edited March 2015
    How many men does it take to change a toilet paper roll?
    Nobody knows because it's never been done
  • tjcuipylo
    tjcuipylo Posts: 21 Member
    how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

    Ten!
    Ten tickles.
  • TheBeachgod
    TheBeachgod Posts: 825 Member
    Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was assaulted.
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,429 Member
    Knock, Knock
    Who's there?
    Orange.

    Knock, Knock
    Who's there?
    Orange.

    Knock, Knock
    Who's there?
    Orange.

    Knock, Knock
    Who's there?
    Orange you glad I'd didn't say orange again.

    :s
  • Rivers2k
    Rivers2k Posts: 380 Member
    I love corney jokes /otherwise known as dad jokes!!

    What do you call wood with nothing to do...Board

    What kind of dog can tell time ... a watch dog.

    Grasshopper walks into a bar and the bar tender says "we have a drink named after you." The grass hopper says "really you have a drink named Steve?"

    My all time favorite joke
    What did the Zen Budhist say to the NYC hot dog vendor.... Make me one with everything!!!
  • totaldetermination
    totaldetermination Posts: 1,184 Member
    what sound does a 100lb canary make ?


    (you have to shout the answer...) TWEET !!!!!
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  • pecanbeth1
    pecanbeth1 Posts: 5 Member
    Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted. (assaulted)
  • Rivers2k
    Rivers2k Posts: 380 Member
    Two brownies are in the oven. One brownie says to the other "wow its hot in here." The other brownie shouts "aaaaahhhhh a talking borwnie"
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    Rivers2k wrote: »
    I love corney jokes /otherwise known as dad jokes!!

    What do you call wood with nothing to do...Board

    What kind of dog can tell time ... a watch dog.

    Grasshopper walks into a bar and the bar tender says "we have a drink named after you." The grass hopper says "really you have a drink named Steve?"

    My all time favorite joke
    What did the Zen Budhist say to the NYC hot dog vendor.... Make me one with everything!!!

    So true! Dad jokes! I miss my dad's corny ways!
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    My son's favorite:

    What do you call a penguin on the moon?




    LOST!
  • pecanbeth1
    pecanbeth1 Posts: 5 Member
    Rivers2k wrote: »
    Two brownies are in the oven. One brownie says to the other "wow its hot in here." The other brownie shouts "aaaaahhhhh a talking borwnie"

    I almost said this one. But it was muffins. "Holy crap, a talking muffin!" :smile:

  • marvybells
    marvybells Posts: 1,984 Member
    Why is Ireland the richest country in the world?

    Because it's capital is always Dublin!
  • AgentOrangeJuice
    AgentOrangeJuice Posts: 1,069 Member
    Why'd the pollock take a car door with him into the desert? So he could wind the window down when he got hot.
  • AgentOrangeJuice
    AgentOrangeJuice Posts: 1,069 Member
    Why was Hellen Keller's leg yellow? Her dog was blind too!
  • Rivers2k
    Rivers2k Posts: 380 Member
    How does an ethnocentric person change a light bulb. They hold up the light bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them :smile:
  • AgentOrangeJuice
    AgentOrangeJuice Posts: 1,069 Member
    Knock Knock

    Who's there

    Boo

    Boo Who?

    Don't cry, it's just me

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