My Husband!.... NOT ATTRACTED TO ME!
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Weight isn't the issue like everyone says. The guy has issues and think of it as fortunate you find this out this early. Not meaning that to sound shallow or cruel. But meaning it in the matter that kids are not involved which makes it easier to move on. You don't want to be stuck with someone like that the rest of your life. Stick it to him!0
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Can I ask your age. I think you should get an annulment asap. If he is looking to other women already your in for a long road of hurt. Get out while it's still new before you get stuck in the pattern of him saying oh I love you it won't happen again. But it will trust me. I'm married 6 years and he has never made me feel I can't trust him. If he did I wouldn't stay with him.0
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Oh your so young still. Run!0
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You caught him this time. He's going to be a lot more careful the next time.... The trust is gone, you'll always be wondering and trust me this will be a miserable and sickly way to live your life. "Sickly" meaning that sick feeling in your gut everytime his phone goes off, everytime he goes out or comes home etc etc etc
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Counseling, like, right now. Respect, boundaries, trust... these things are needed in any healthy relationship. He should not be telling female friends he is attracted to them and not attracted to you. Even if its true. What a prick. And if he wont go to counsiling with you... please make an appointment for yourself. This is about much more than weight or body type. I dont know you, or your relationship... only you know how hard to fight. If I was in your shoes I would have torn him to shreds... then served divorce papers to what's left of him the next day. What a prick!0
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My hubby and I get into huge fights that last for days if I catch him leering at another woman!! Let alone something like what OP"s gone through. ..
Reality check guys, woman were not put on this earth just for your pleasure
Anyway, my point is I couldn't forgive and forget. But that's me, I know what I'm like and what I can and can not handle..0 -
BlueInkDot wrote: »When two people get married, each person is obligated to put their best foot forward and do their utmost to sexually satisfy their partner as best as they can. This is a two-way street. He says he "wants you to do more." Okay, well what is HE doing? What do YOU like in bed? What kind of things really get you going? What makes your heart race? Have you talked about it? There are LOTS of activities you can do together in a sexual sense, and they can be as cliche or as crazy-sounding as you want, what's important is that you talk about it SUPER DUPER OPENLY. Do either of you have any fantasies? What kind of sexy things do each of you look at on the internet? What kind of themes are there on these websites? Maybe share those websites with each other. YES it's embarrassing and scary to share these things that are usually private, but when you got married, part of the deal is that you were going to do this for each other as best as you can.
Sexual satisfaction is a big part of marriage, in my opinion. That's why I ended up not marrying first-boyfriend like I thought I would... Our sexual tastes just did not click at all. We weren't sexually compatible, and it was never going to work out. If that's the case for you, then I doubt your marriage is in a good place. But better to find this out now before you have kids then later.
Try your best to think about YOUR well-being and YOUR happiness and not blame yourself too much. Make an effort, do what you can, but try to know when you've just done everything you could and it's a lost cause.
Good luck.
This. So much this. Gone are the days when sexual satisfaction is only for men.0 -
Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »ok, so all the folks saying this is bad, and that this is the lowest of the low...
how many ya'll cheated in the past? #gauntlet #barbarianneedsfoodbadly
hahaha. Not me, sunshine. I caught my ex (at the time he was my fiance) cheating on me the night before a wedding we had both gone to. Thankfully it wasn't our wedding.
Anyway, after the wedding rehearsal festivities died down, a group of us were hanging out. I went to go to bed when the group started breaking up since I was exhausted and ended up passing out for a few hours. I woke up, realized he wasn't next to me and went to find him. We were at an outdoor wedding a bit in the boonies so I wanted from the camping tent we were sleeping in to the renovated barn (very redneck meets hipster) we had been hanging out in before.
As I approached the barn, I saw the lights on but the doors were shut. I looked through one of the slats in the barn door, ready to open the door when I realized that he was standing and she was *ahem* driving downtown to get some ice cream so-to-speak. I tried to open the door, found it was locked, and started beating on it.
She escaped out of a side door with her dog. No one was around except the three of us and, not thinking clearly, I took off after her to absolutely beat the snot out of her. She was much faster than I was so I never got to throw any punches; however, when my ex caught up to me, he started spewing apologies left and right. I remember taking off the ring, handing it to him, telling him to go eff himself, and then walking three feet and throwing all up.
Thankfully I saw what he was before I vowed to spend the rest of my life with him.
Why would you want to beat the crap out of her? She has no loyalty to you? Surely it's your ex you should have been punching?
Sorry, it just really annoys me when women fight the other woman rather than their cheating, scumbag partners. That's the person who has broken a promise to you.
I read somewhere that it's a biological imperative thing. Females have more chance of their genes being propagated if their male partner is totally focused on their offspring, which means fighting off the competition. Males have more chance of propagating their genes if they mate with multiple partners - there is basically no limit to the number of children a male can father. That said, I don't remember there bring any disadvantages of the female mating with multiple partners....
Of course there's no reason we have to conform to biological imperative.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »Fat2Fit145 wrote: »Hye everyone, thanks for your comments, really did not think it would generate such feedback, but I appreciate ALL...
What he said....
I told him we need to talk, and he said ok. I knew he knew what i saw because i had been quiet for a few days and he was being extra mushy and loving. Anyway I told him what I saw on his phone. I spoke first and said how I felt, that I was REALLLY hurt, and I couldn't believe it. He apologized immediately, and said that he realize it was wrong and inappropriate...
...some of the things he said:-
- He just got caught up
- Its not that he is really attracted to her
- Concerning our sex life, he just expected more out of it
- He did not address the fact that he said he is not attracted to me
- we got into talking about our sex life, he said he just wants me to do more. I had no problem with this, but why not tell me that, not your FEMALE friend.
I approached this convo very calm and hopeful that it would be resolved, while I was hurt, I was still trying to over look it. Why I posted this and why im still hurt is the fact that while discussing he had the audacity to ask why I only focusing on the fact that he said he is attracted to the other girl.... THATS when I FLIPPED. And it just hit me, this man is CLEARLY Oblivious to His role as a Husband, to the purpose of marriage etc.
So now im EXTREMELY concerned for my future, and being in this marriage.
Other notes:-
We were both virgins before we got married
Yes there were other offences before
I was questioning getting married to him
Yes he uses the word 'u' while texting (lol)
I am bolding all the parts that support my evidence of a troll thread.
you said you were both virgins but then say that he expected more out of your sex life? If he was a virgin then how could he have higher expectations...??? Unless he is watching porn all the time and that is what he is basing his expectations off...
Actually, that bit made lots of sense to me. I can see a 30 year old virgin to have built up in his head all of the OMG MAGICAL FURNITURE BREAKING SEXYTIME! And then be bitter and resentful when his partner (also a virgin) isn't a living Kama Sutra.
Dudes who have done the deed tend to know what to expect, you know? And, seriously....HE is inexperienced and disappointed? I'd guaranfuckingtee (pun intended) that if he was really and truly a virgin until 30? Poor OP is REALLY missing out. Because if he's got unrealistic expectations of HER, I'd wager lots of internet dollars on a definite lack of skillz on his part.
Like any consistant couple it takes time to learn the others likes. Even if they are both virgins then they have time to learn and grow together.
Now does he have expectations of what he has never had before her. I would say 100% he does. How many possibilities?
Yes, but I'd guess that the learning curve is exponentially steeper when you are dealing with total two total noobs. They're figuring out their own preferences as well as their partner's. And, seriously, given dude's willingness to be "disappointed" and having a borderline emotional affair only 5 months in to their sexual relationship? I'm guessing that he's not really dedicated to learning about HER wants and preferences. And, you know, generally speaking, the ladyjunk tends to be a little less self-explanatory for new operators, you know?
LOL
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Don't be discussing this type of stuff on social media - TALK TO HIM! Straight up! Sooner the better. Get it all out on the table and then start working to salvage this marriage. You both have a lot of relationship work to learn and grow on. Good luck.0
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I say play dumb and give him access to lots of junk foods while you are secretly taking care of yourself physically and mentally. Then when is pudge gets pudgier, tell him he's too fat for you and move on.
All kidding aside, every woman deserves someone to love her regardless of her weight. What happens when you have children and get stretch marks? Or what if you got cancer and lost your hair? He's not the type of guy to support you through the good times and bad. I say cut your loses and find a real man. A nice butt and slim frame can't hide the fact that he's just an ugly person! Good luck!0 -
enterdanger wrote: »um, I agree with the people who say weight isn't the issue. Not sure how open your marriage is, but if my husband ever discussed our sex life with another woman and then told that woman he was attracted to her I would throat punch him. Then I'd get a divorce lawyer.
I'm not saying this is what you should do, just what I would do. Then I would get counseling for myself because I would be totally distraught.
THIS IS AWESOME! "throat punch him" haha!
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chrissyfitter wrote: »Can I ask your age. I think you should get an annulment asap. If he is looking to other women already your in for a long road of hurt. Get out while it's still new before you get stuck in the pattern of him saying oh I love you it won't happen again. But it will trust me. I'm married 6 years and he has never made me feel I can't trust him. If he did I wouldn't stay with him.
It's not grounds for an annulment. I posted the requirements for an annulment on a previous page.
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Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »ok, so all the folks saying this is bad, and that this is the lowest of the low...
how many ya'll cheated in the past? #gauntlet #barbarianneedsfoodbadly
hahaha. Not me, sunshine. I caught my ex (at the time he was my fiance) cheating on me the night before a wedding we had both gone to. Thankfully it wasn't our wedding.
Anyway, after the wedding rehearsal festivities died down, a group of us were hanging out. I went to go to bed when the group started breaking up since I was exhausted and ended up passing out for a few hours. I woke up, realized he wasn't next to me and went to find him. We were at an outdoor wedding a bit in the boonies so I wanted from the camping tent we were sleeping in to the renovated barn (very redneck meets hipster) we had been hanging out in before.
As I approached the barn, I saw the lights on but the doors were shut. I looked through one of the slats in the barn door, ready to open the door when I realized that he was standing and she was *ahem* driving downtown to get some ice cream so-to-speak. I tried to open the door, found it was locked, and started beating on it.
She escaped out of a side door with her dog. No one was around except the three of us and, not thinking clearly, I took off after her to absolutely beat the snot out of her. She was much faster than I was so I never got to throw any punches; however, when my ex caught up to me, he started spewing apologies left and right. I remember taking off the ring, handing it to him, telling him to go eff himself, and then walking three feet and throwing all up.
Thankfully I saw what he was before I vowed to spend the rest of my life with him.
Why would you want to beat the crap out of her? She has no loyalty to you? Surely it's your ex you should have been punching?
Sorry, it just really annoys me when women fight the other woman rather than their cheating, scumbag partners. That's the person who has broken a promise to you.
The bridesmaid and I were merely acquaintances; however, she also knew we were engaged as we had hung out together previously. Trust me, he was next on my list.
I don't care whether or not she "had lotalty". It's a *kitten* thing to do to another person. Hopefully you've never been cheated on and never have to know what it is like.
Oh I've been cheated on. You have no idea. My ex's girlfriend threatened to kill me and our children when he broke it off with her (because I found out and he wanted me to forgive him - I still divorced him, of course.) And there was a whole lot more that I won't go into. So don't act the martyr. I still stand by my point. Women do themselves a disservice by focussing on the other woman and cat fighting like something out of the Maury show over a pathetic cheating guy. I think it lets cheating men off the hook because it takes the focus off them..She's not the one who married you or promised to be faithful to you. She's owes you nothing. He does. If your going to punch someone, punch him.
Totally agree! I hate it when women fight with each other over a guy who has (technically) cheated on both of them with the other one. I always told my ex if he ever cheated on me, I wouldn't fight for him, ever. I wouldn't even hate the other woman. I'd say congrats - he's all yours, but keep in mind if he cheated on me with you, he'll probably cheat on you with someone else.0 -
christinev297 wrote: »My hubby and I get into huge fights that last for days if I catch him leering at another woman!! Let alone something like what OP"s gone through. ..
Reality check guys, woman were not put on this earth just for your pleasure
Anyway, my point is I couldn't forgive and forget. But that's me, I know what I'm like and what I can and can not handle..
Fights that last for days if your husband looks at another woman? Really? That seems a little excessive.
I've had times when my partner was straight up bought drinks at a bar during a friend's birthday and he ordered what he know I drank and gave them to me. If he checked out another woman or said something like hey she's wearing a cute dress or check out those jeans or hair or she's got big boobs, I had no issues. It's perfectly healthy to appreciate another person's looks and be attracted to another person. We had this running joke because I love Jason Statham that needed to make sure he was on top of things in bed just in case Jason Statham ever showed up and I had to choose between the two of them. I was totally ok with him appreciating another woman's physical appearance. That being said, he never hit on them, he mentioned it to me afterwards, he never texted other women (with the exception of like his sister in law and his friends wives/girlfriends when making plans) and he never crossed any kind of line. I had zero reservation about trusting him when it came to things like that.
I am of the mindset that checking out other people is totally ok . . . healthy even, acting on it or hitting on or flirting with others may be crossing a boundary, depending on the relationship you have.
Can you honestly say you don't check out other guys? Or you can't appreciate when a guy makes you do a double take? Our partner's aren't just the only ones we find physically attractive (OMG - can you imagine if they were? lol) but they are the ones we are the most intimate with. And the ones we share our lives with - there's so much more to it than physical attraction. He isn't crossing any boundaries by appreciating another woman's physically appearance, so why let it cause cracks in the foundation of your marriage?0 -
My first marriage lasted 4 months (plus the time it took to divorce). No regrets. I learned later on that he had flirted with my bridesmaid (very suggestively) on the day of the wedding...
You're better off without him!!!0 -
acorsaut89 wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »ok, so all the folks saying this is bad, and that this is the lowest of the low...
how many ya'll cheated in the past? #gauntlet #barbarianneedsfoodbadly
hahaha. Not me, sunshine. I caught my ex (at the time he was my fiance) cheating on me the night before a wedding we had both gone to. Thankfully it wasn't our wedding.
Anyway, after the wedding rehearsal festivities died down, a group of us were hanging out. I went to go to bed when the group started breaking up since I was exhausted and ended up passing out for a few hours. I woke up, realized he wasn't next to me and went to find him. We were at an outdoor wedding a bit in the boonies so I wanted from the camping tent we were sleeping in to the renovated barn (very redneck meets hipster) we had been hanging out in before.
As I approached the barn, I saw the lights on but the doors were shut. I looked through one of the slats in the barn door, ready to open the door when I realized that he was standing and she was *ahem* driving downtown to get some ice cream so-to-speak. I tried to open the door, found it was locked, and started beating on it.
She escaped out of a side door with her dog. No one was around except the three of us and, not thinking clearly, I took off after her to absolutely beat the snot out of her. She was much faster than I was so I never got to throw any punches; however, when my ex caught up to me, he started spewing apologies left and right. I remember taking off the ring, handing it to him, telling him to go eff himself, and then walking three feet and throwing all up.
Thankfully I saw what he was before I vowed to spend the rest of my life with him.
Why would you want to beat the crap out of her? She has no loyalty to you? Surely it's your ex you should have been punching?
Sorry, it just really annoys me when women fight the other woman rather than their cheating, scumbag partners. That's the person who has broken a promise to you.
The bridesmaid and I were merely acquaintances; however, she also knew we were engaged as we had hung out together previously. Trust me, he was next on my list.
I don't care whether or not she "had lotalty". It's a *kitten* thing to do to another person. Hopefully you've never been cheated on and never have to know what it is like.
Oh I've been cheated on. You have no idea. My ex's girlfriend threatened to kill me and our children when he broke it off with her (because I found out and he wanted me to forgive him - I still divorced him, of course.) And there was a whole lot more that I won't go into. So don't act the martyr. I still stand by my point. Women do themselves a disservice by focussing on the other woman and cat fighting like something out of the Maury show over a pathetic cheating guy. I think it lets cheating men off the hook because it takes the focus off them..She's not the one who married you or promised to be faithful to you. She's owes you nothing. He does. If your going to punch someone, punch him.
Totally agree! I hate it when women fight with each other over a guy who has (technically) cheated on both of them with the other one. I always told my ex if he ever cheated on me, I wouldn't fight for him, ever. I wouldn't even hate the other woman. I'd say congrats - he's all yours, but keep in mind if he cheated on me with you, he'll probably cheat on you with someone else.
Caught my BF (at the time) cheating with his ex. She wrote me a very nasty email to let me know what they were doing together. I wrote her back told her I was a good person and I didn't know why she would hurt my feelings that way and that she could have him if that's what he was really like. She wrote me back that she was sooo sorry and that she was mad and jealous and I didn't deserve that. So she called me on the phone when I was with him and we all had a nice little chat.......he cried like a little B!tch, and we both dumped his butt. It felt good, I think she thought that I was gonna be a mean person so she came in on the defensive. Glad we worked that out, it was very cleansing lol.
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acorsaut89 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »My hubby and I get into huge fights that last for days if I catch him leering at another woman!! Let alone something like what OP"s gone through. ..
Reality check guys, woman were not put on this earth just for your pleasure
Anyway, my point is I couldn't forgive and forget. But that's me, I know what I'm like and what I can and can not handle..
Fights that last for days if your husband looks at another woman? Really? That seems a little excessive.
I've had times when my partner was straight up bought drinks at a bar during a friend's birthday and he ordered what he know I drank and gave them to me. If he checked out another woman or said something like hey she's wearing a cute dress or check out those jeans or hair or she's got big boobs, I had no issues. It's perfectly healthy to appreciate another person's looks and be attracted to another person. We had this running joke because I love Jason Statham that needed to make sure he was on top of things in bed just in case Jason Statham ever showed up and I had to choose between the two of them. I was totally ok with him appreciating another woman's physical appearance. That being said, he never hit on them, he mentioned it to me afterwards, he never texted other women (with the exception of like his sister in law and his friends wives/girlfriends when making plans) and he never crossed any kind of line. I had zero reservation about trusting him when it came to things like that.
I am of the mindset that checking out other people is totally ok . . . healthy even, acting on it or hitting on or flirting with others may be crossing a boundary, depending on the relationship you have.
Can you honestly say you don't check out other guys? Or you can't appreciate when a guy makes you do a double take? Our partner's aren't just the only ones we find physically attractive (OMG - can you imagine if they were? lol) but they are the ones we are the most intimate with. And the ones we share our lives with - there's so much more to it than physical attraction. He isn't crossing any boundaries by appreciating another woman's physically appearance, so why let it cause cracks in the foundation of your marriage?
I think u missed a lot of other info as well, in addition to teller her she is attacted to her, he said he is not attracted to me. I am very aware that he would appreciate other womens bodies, but to go to the extent of telling her "im attracted to u" is disrespectful to me, why? because I believe he has developed an emotional attachment and bond with her, that's a no no., that's how affairs begin0 -
Fat2Fit145 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »My hubby and I get into huge fights that last for days if I catch him leering at another woman!! Let alone something like what OP"s gone through. ..
Reality check guys, woman were not put on this earth just for your pleasure
Anyway, my point is I couldn't forgive and forget. But that's me, I know what I'm like and what I can and can not handle..
Fights that last for days if your husband looks at another woman? Really? That seems a little excessive.
I've had times when my partner was straight up bought drinks at a bar during a friend's birthday and he ordered what he know I drank and gave them to me. If he checked out another woman or said something like hey she's wearing a cute dress or check out those jeans or hair or she's got big boobs, I had no issues. It's perfectly healthy to appreciate another person's looks and be attracted to another person. We had this running joke because I love Jason Statham that needed to make sure he was on top of things in bed just in case Jason Statham ever showed up and I had to choose between the two of them. I was totally ok with him appreciating another woman's physical appearance. That being said, he never hit on them, he mentioned it to me afterwards, he never texted other women (with the exception of like his sister in law and his friends wives/girlfriends when making plans) and he never crossed any kind of line. I had zero reservation about trusting him when it came to things like that.
I am of the mindset that checking out other people is totally ok . . . healthy even, acting on it or hitting on or flirting with others may be crossing a boundary, depending on the relationship you have.
Can you honestly say you don't check out other guys? Or you can't appreciate when a guy makes you do a double take? Our partner's aren't just the only ones we find physically attractive (OMG - can you imagine if they were? lol) but they are the ones we are the most intimate with. And the ones we share our lives with - there's so much more to it than physical attraction. He isn't crossing any boundaries by appreciating another woman's physically appearance, so why let it cause cracks in the foundation of your marriage?
I think u missed a lot of other info as well, in addition to teller her she is attacted to her, he said he is not attracted to me. I am very aware that he would appreciate other womens bodies, but to go to the extent of telling her "im attracted to u" is disrespectful to me, why? because I believe he has developed an emotional attachment and bond with her, that's a no no., that's how affairs begin
She only read the OP.0 -
emmydoodles83 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »ok, so all the folks saying this is bad, and that this is the lowest of the low...
how many ya'll cheated in the past? #gauntlet #barbarianneedsfoodbadly
hahaha. Not me, sunshine. I caught my ex (at the time he was my fiance) cheating on me the night before a wedding we had both gone to. Thankfully it wasn't our wedding.
Anyway, after the wedding rehearsal festivities died down, a group of us were hanging out. I went to go to bed when the group started breaking up since I was exhausted and ended up passing out for a few hours. I woke up, realized he wasn't next to me and went to find him. We were at an outdoor wedding a bit in the boonies so I wanted from the camping tent we were sleeping in to the renovated barn (very redneck meets hipster) we had been hanging out in before.
As I approached the barn, I saw the lights on but the doors were shut. I looked through one of the slats in the barn door, ready to open the door when I realized that he was standing and she was *ahem* driving downtown to get some ice cream so-to-speak. I tried to open the door, found it was locked, and started beating on it.
She escaped out of a side door with her dog. No one was around except the three of us and, not thinking clearly, I took off after her to absolutely beat the snot out of her. She was much faster than I was so I never got to throw any punches; however, when my ex caught up to me, he started spewing apologies left and right. I remember taking off the ring, handing it to him, telling him to go eff himself, and then walking three feet and throwing all up.
Thankfully I saw what he was before I vowed to spend the rest of my life with him.
Why would you want to beat the crap out of her? She has no loyalty to you? Surely it's your ex you should have been punching?
Sorry, it just really annoys me when women fight the other woman rather than their cheating, scumbag partners. That's the person who has broken a promise to you.
The bridesmaid and I were merely acquaintances; however, she also knew we were engaged as we had hung out together previously. Trust me, he was next on my list.
I don't care whether or not she "had lotalty". It's a *kitten* thing to do to another person. Hopefully you've never been cheated on and never have to know what it is like.
Oh I've been cheated on. You have no idea. My ex's girlfriend threatened to kill me and our children when he broke it off with her (because I found out and he wanted me to forgive him - I still divorced him, of course.) And there was a whole lot more that I won't go into. So don't act the martyr. I still stand by my point. Women do themselves a disservice by focussing on the other woman and cat fighting like something out of the Maury show over a pathetic cheating guy. I think it lets cheating men off the hook because it takes the focus off them..She's not the one who married you or promised to be faithful to you. She's owes you nothing. He does. If your going to punch someone, punch him.
Totally agree! I hate it when women fight with each other over a guy who has (technically) cheated on both of them with the other one. I always told my ex if he ever cheated on me, I wouldn't fight for him, ever. I wouldn't even hate the other woman. I'd say congrats - he's all yours, but keep in mind if he cheated on me with you, he'll probably cheat on you with someone else.
Caught my BF (at the time) cheating with his ex. She wrote me a very nasty email to let me know what they were doing together. I wrote her back told her I was a good person and I didn't know why she would hurt my feelings that way and that she could have him if that's what he was really like. She wrote me back that she was sooo sorry and that she was mad and jealous and I didn't deserve that. So she called me on the phone when I was with him and we all had a nice little chat.......he cried like a little B!tch, and we both dumped his butt. It felt good, I think she thought that I was gonna be a mean person so she came in on the defensive. Glad we worked that out, it was very cleansing lol.
Ha ha that's pretty funny! I've never been in a situation like that, but I remember when I first started dating my ex (I was 19) and he had gone out with this other girl a couple times before we met, but nothing came of it. And when we got together and were exclusive, she kept calling and calling and calling. And one time we were at a BBQ at a mutual friends house and she came and she just made the situation so dramatic, trying to always talk to him but show him what he's missing and so on. It was really embarrassing and I just said to her look, if he wanted to date you he would have. He didn't, so clearly he's not interest. No matter how many other guys you claim to have interested in you, he is not one of them. Move on and find someone who is interested. Not to say you're a bad person or anything, he just didn't feel it. It happens. Move on!
She got so mad at me, started posting things on facebook about how good of a time she had with him when I wasn't there (I was in university, so due to exams and such I did miss an occasional get together) and texting him. It caused a lot of drama. I didn't think anything was going on, I totally trusted him but it just caused so many issues. And I was thinking if you put as much effort into meeting new people, you might have found a new boyfriend by now. We got over it, but she was ridiculous.0 -
Fat2Fit145 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »My hubby and I get into huge fights that last for days if I catch him leering at another woman!! Let alone something like what OP"s gone through. ..
Reality check guys, woman were not put on this earth just for your pleasure
Anyway, my point is I couldn't forgive and forget. But that's me, I know what I'm like and what I can and can not handle..
Fights that last for days if your husband looks at another woman? Really? That seems a little excessive.
I've had times when my partner was straight up bought drinks at a bar during a friend's birthday and he ordered what he know I drank and gave them to me. If he checked out another woman or said something like hey she's wearing a cute dress or check out those jeans or hair or she's got big boobs, I had no issues. It's perfectly healthy to appreciate another person's looks and be attracted to another person. We had this running joke because I love Jason Statham that needed to make sure he was on top of things in bed just in case Jason Statham ever showed up and I had to choose between the two of them. I was totally ok with him appreciating another woman's physical appearance. That being said, he never hit on them, he mentioned it to me afterwards, he never texted other women (with the exception of like his sister in law and his friends wives/girlfriends when making plans) and he never crossed any kind of line. I had zero reservation about trusting him when it came to things like that.
I am of the mindset that checking out other people is totally ok . . . healthy even, acting on it or hitting on or flirting with others may be crossing a boundary, depending on the relationship you have.
Can you honestly say you don't check out other guys? Or you can't appreciate when a guy makes you do a double take? Our partner's aren't just the only ones we find physically attractive (OMG - can you imagine if they were? lol) but they are the ones we are the most intimate with. And the ones we share our lives with - there's so much more to it than physical attraction. He isn't crossing any boundaries by appreciating another woman's physically appearance, so why let it cause cracks in the foundation of your marriage?
I think u missed a lot of other info as well, in addition to teller her she is attacted to her, he said he is not attracted to me. I am very aware that he would appreciate other womens bodies, but to go to the extent of telling her "im attracted to u" is disrespectful to me, why? because I believe he has developed an emotional attachment and bond with her, that's a no no., that's how affairs begin
This wasn't about your post - this was about the woman who said she fought with her husband "for days" if he leered at another woman.
Nothing to do with your original post OP, which I think you misunderstood and didn't read the whole thing that I posted.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »Fat2Fit145 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »My hubby and I get into huge fights that last for days if I catch him leering at another woman!! Let alone something like what OP"s gone through. ..
Reality check guys, woman were not put on this earth just for your pleasure
Anyway, my point is I couldn't forgive and forget. But that's me, I know what I'm like and what I can and can not handle..
Fights that last for days if your husband looks at another woman? Really? That seems a little excessive.
I've had times when my partner was straight up bought drinks at a bar during a friend's birthday and he ordered what he know I drank and gave them to me. If he checked out another woman or said something like hey she's wearing a cute dress or check out those jeans or hair or she's got big boobs, I had no issues. It's perfectly healthy to appreciate another person's looks and be attracted to another person. We had this running joke because I love Jason Statham that needed to make sure he was on top of things in bed just in case Jason Statham ever showed up and I had to choose between the two of them. I was totally ok with him appreciating another woman's physical appearance. That being said, he never hit on them, he mentioned it to me afterwards, he never texted other women (with the exception of like his sister in law and his friends wives/girlfriends when making plans) and he never crossed any kind of line. I had zero reservation about trusting him when it came to things like that.
I am of the mindset that checking out other people is totally ok . . . healthy even, acting on it or hitting on or flirting with others may be crossing a boundary, depending on the relationship you have.
Can you honestly say you don't check out other guys? Or you can't appreciate when a guy makes you do a double take? Our partner's aren't just the only ones we find physically attractive (OMG - can you imagine if they were? lol) but they are the ones we are the most intimate with. And the ones we share our lives with - there's so much more to it than physical attraction. He isn't crossing any boundaries by appreciating another woman's physically appearance, so why let it cause cracks in the foundation of your marriage?
I think u missed a lot of other info as well, in addition to teller her she is attacted to her, he said he is not attracted to me. I am very aware that he would appreciate other womens bodies, but to go to the extent of telling her "im attracted to u" is disrespectful to me, why? because I believe he has developed an emotional attachment and bond with her, that's a no no., that's how affairs begin
She only read the OP.
No I read the whole thing - the OP has issues she needs to deal with outside of this forum. My post was directed at a woman who said she fights with her husband for days when he looks at another woman.
That has nothing to do with the OP - I think fighting because your husband appreciates an attractive woman wouldn't be something I'd get too worked up about. My post was not aimed at the OP, it was aimed at the woman who made a comment about fighting with her husband due to him looking at another woman.
Please read the comment quoted to understand what I'm replying to.0 -
Too many comments to read them all...
Just because he said he isn't attracted to you doesn't mean it's true. He very well may have said that as part of his seduction of the other girl.
Unlike a lot of comments so far, I don't know if the problem is solely your husband. You sound very insecure. And it's interesting to note that the qualities you list about your husband are of a physical nature. Sounds like both of you may be a bit shallow.
Good luck. I hope things work out for the best.0 -
I am really sorry you have to go through this.
I read all the replies and not a single person said that what he did was right.
And i agree, but in order for people to give pieces of advice like "get a divorce lawyer" they should really hear him out too. Because maybe you made a mistake too, along the way-a real one, not gaining a few lbs.
Have you ever cheated on him?
Does it seem normal to you that he talks to another person, male or female, about your relationship?
A marriage is a very intimate thing and he is bringing another person in it.
Is that usual for you too ? Like, are you talking openly to your girlfriends about your marriage?
I'm just saying that you shouldnt take a decision based on what we are telling you.
However, i also think it is important to hear other opinions but just dont decide without listening to your heart and brain first.
If that were to happen to me i wouldnt even talk about it, for me, that is cheating and i would just get crazy hot and then leave his sorry *kitten*.0 -
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yopeeps025 wrote: »
The OP is obsessing about her husband saying he is not attracted to her and feeling unattractive as a result. My point is that WHAT he said is not important (and could very well be untrue). The fact that he is trying to attract another woman is actually the more important thing. So she should stop internalizing about not being attractive because she gained weight and deal with the bigger issue... Get it now? If not, it's okay. I was talking to the OP, anyway.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »
The OP is obsessing about her husband saying he is not attracted to her and feeling unattractive as a result. My point is that WHAT he said is not important (and could very well be untrue). The fact that he is trying to attract another woman is actually the more important thing. So she should stop internalizing about not being attractive because she gained weight and deal with the bigger issue... Get it now? If not, it's okay. I was talking to the OP, anyway.
That how you feel. You made a lot of assumptions.
That not how OP feels and a lot of people are talking more about the comment to OP than the comment to some random women.
I am skewed though I had married women say I'm attractive but they never said their husband wasn't.0 -
Run woman!!!!! Run yr husband does not tell another woman hes not attracted u, that hes attracted to her (even if it is true at the time)0
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