Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

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  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,712 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    I realized last night I have this issue with feeling guilty if I do well at something. I am doing an agility class with my dog and I was able to pick up the new stuff last night that the other people weren't getting. I felt like one lady in particular was giving me stink eye because she wasn't doing so well (but seriously, who wears flip flops to something they know involves running and direction changes?). The instructor complimented me at the end and it took everything I had to not downplay it.

    It kind of sounds like I'm humble bragging, maybe I am, maybe I should just turn it into actual bragging: Me and my dog are doing awesome in agility. Unfortunately I can't seem to allow myself to enjoy it and feel proud of her and I because... well I don't know why.

    It's not wrong to feel proud of being good at something, is it?

    I think a lot of people, especially women, struggle with this. I know in school, I got excellent grades. I was in the top 2% of my high school graduating class and went to college on a 100% academic scholarship. Most of my friends didn't realize it because I would always pretend like my scores were poor on a test where I may have gotten a 95%. I was embarrassed that some things came so easy to me.

    I still downplay my accomplishments to some extent. I've had managers/directors tell me to be more outspoken about what I'm accomplishing, so I'm working on it.

    I had this problem when I was younger. In 1st grade I was sent to the 2nd grade class for reading. At that age (for me anyway) that was traumatic! I had no friends, they were all older than me and it singled me out and different. Everyone called me smart and I didn't like that. I struggled. In 2nd grade I was moved to the 3rd grade class and couldn't do it another year, so I acted like I wasn't able to keep up. Looking back that was stupid. Maybe I could have skipped a grade if I'd just stuck with it. Oh well. Live and learn.

    I was skipped ahead, not once but twice. The result was that by the time I hit the second year of high school, I was an unpopular 12 year old in a class of 14 year olds, the only crowd that would tolerate me was the out-crowd, and my desperation to fit in made me get into EVERYTHING they were in, as hard as I could. Got into massive conflict with my parents, because I didn't have any friends but the ones 2 years older, but I was 'too young' to do what they did. Cue me becoming a massive delinquent, sneaking out, lying and eventually dropping out of school and moving out of home 2 weeks after my 15th birthday.

    I'm successful now, but that took until my 20's. My folks reckon letting me get skipped ahead on the basis of intellect alone was the worst mistake they ever made.

    Wow! I'm so sorry that went that way for you! Who knew, though? I'm sure your parents intentions were good and it used to be encouraged more than it is now. Live and learn. I'm glad you were able to come out successful!
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
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    I am not in the best of moods today, and I'm afraid anything I post here will be really negative. Sooooo I'm just going to lurk in the background :)
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,712 Member
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    Cemetaire wrote: »
    I actually started my weight loss journey due to a nasty break up with my ex-fiancée. I had the mindset that "I'll show him!!!!" >:) It wasn't until I had lost 40 pounds that I really didn't care anymore what he thought about me. Come to think of it, he still hasn't seen me even once since I started this and I'm 70 pounds down hahahahaha :D

    That is awesome! And you know what? If you do see him, it won't feel as great as you thought it would - in a good way. You'll realize how much better off you are and that his feelings are irrelevant.
  • Vjp1187
    Vjp1187 Posts: 1 Member
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    I sooooo <3 love <3 this blog! This is by far my favorite blog! I do some of the same things esp adding calories for the next day. Sometimes when I think what I ate may put my calories in the negative or above my own personal caloric intake, I log it in the food notes. o:)

    #2: Pilsbury cookies are my weakness! :'(<3 ...sometimes I will get up out of bed when everyone is sleep just to eat one by myself >:) !...and they make me soooooooo happy!!!!!...lol

    Weight loss is truly a struggle and its good to know that you are not struggling alone. It really is a journey and I am determined to reach my goal this time! :)B)
  • Noelv1976
    Noelv1976 Posts: 18,948 Member
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    I drank some iced tea, added sugar. Not suppose to do, but I did anyway. Now feeling so sad :'(
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    edited April 2015
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    xMrBunglex wrote: »
    Growing up, I always gave my dad *kitten* because he only bought cash cars, kept them alive as long as possible, and then when it died, he'd buy another clunker. I always said I'd never be like that.

    Aaaand now my 15 yr old car is in the shop again, and I'm crossing my fingers that my mechanic will say "time to junk it" (instead of fixing it again) and FORCE me to get a new one (and it will be NEW.)

    However, if he says "I can fix it for $400", the Cheapness DNA in me will fix it & drive it for another year. Thanks, Pops!

    Our second car is a 1999 car. Probably going to keep it going for a while too... it has great mileage, lol. It was at the shop 2 weeks ago actually but thankfully it wasn't a big issue.

    We did replace our PoS minivan when repairs would have cost $1000 and the car value was $2500, but to be fair, I hated it anyway and never wanted to buy it in the first place (for $5000 from my brother in law) and could not wait to get rid of it... We bought a 3yo used car at the time, and now 3 years later and we're finally getting to the end of the car payment (well, we have 8 months left). With our luck the other car will die then and we'll have to start another one... I wish we could buy new cars but it just really doesn't make much sense most of the time. Although my first car was practically new, with maybe 1000 miles in it, my grandmother gave it to me when she had a stroke... but then I moved to the US and gave it to my mom for our vacation home (which I've been to once).
  • kellienw335
    kellienw335 Posts: 1,745 Member
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    MissLaaber wrote: »
    My workout this morning wiped me out, I'm ready to crawl under my desk and nap for a very very long time.

    Sorry you're tired. Love your new avatar!
  • Rashmi411
    Rashmi411 Posts: 67 Member
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    I am now 170lbs I spent 2 years going from 191 to 123. I had the help of a fabulous online trainer. I ate 2 cinnabons yesterday with at least 64 grams of carbs each. My exercise has been off. I;ve been feeling sad that my ex died. My current boyfriend calls me names. We broke up when I was 135lbs. I started going out with him again at 151. He calls me fatty or fat *kitten*, thunder thighs. I know I am responsible for my weight. My exercising was so strong when I lost weight the first time. Many days I get hungry and eat over the limit. My preparation isn't the best. Plus I am drinking 2-3 glasses of water. I know I can turn this around. My fitnesspal helped me once but its so easy to gain weight back. The biggest thing I've said is I'll start tomorrow. That's BS. I will not say that again to let me be unhealthy today. I got this...
  • kellienw335
    kellienw335 Posts: 1,745 Member
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    ShibaEars wrote: »
    I am not in the best of moods today, and I'm afraid anything I post here will be really negative. Sooooo I'm just going to lurk in the background :)

    But, I love your snarky replies!
  • CountessKitteh
    CountessKitteh Posts: 1,505 Member
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    We have our big annual internal inspection Tuesday/Wednesday this week (sometimes into Thursday morning for wrap up). It's shark week so I have ZERO interest in dealing with anyone, let alone strangers asking me dumb questions. I'm also supposed to be off on Thursday, since I'm flying out that evening, and have to drive down to Baltimore (~2 hours) Thursday afternoon. My manager is desperately trying to get me to commit to coming in for a couple hours if they're wrapping up that morning, as if I have nothing else to do before skipping down for nearly a week.

    I really, really hate this place lately.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Rashmi411 wrote: »
    I am now 170lbs I spent 2 years going from 191 to 123. I had the help of a fabulous online trainer. I ate 2 cinnabons yesterday with at least 64 grams of carbs each. My exercise has been off. I;ve been feeling sad that my ex died. My current boyfriend calls me names. We broke up when I was 135lbs. I started going out with him again at 151. He calls me fatty or fat *kitten*, thunder thighs. I know I am responsible for my weight. My exercising was so strong when I lost weight the first time. Many days I get hungry and eat over the limit. My preparation isn't the best. Plus I am drinking 2-3 glasses of water. I know I can turn this around. My fitnesspal helped me once but its so easy to gain weight back. The biggest thing I've said is I'll start tomorrow. That's BS. I will not say that again to let me be unhealthy today. I got this...

    Well you can drop 160 pounds easily by dropping your jerk of a boyfriend, IMO.

    And I'm sorry your ex died :(
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    Confession: I have always wanted to buy ONE car brand new. I know it doesn't make economic sense, but I still wanted to. The confession is that we did that last September, a 2014 Mitsubishi Mirage. 100 miles on it. I'm ticked off because we bought the car as a commuter car for my new job - it gets almost 50 miles to the gallon. But it has zero cool factor. It is a stick shift and has no luxury features. That is NOT what I planned on wasting my one new car buy on.
  • marissafit06
    marissafit06 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    Rashmi411 wrote: »
    I am now 170lbs I spent 2 years going from 191 to 123. I had the help of a fabulous online trainer. I ate 2 cinnabons yesterday with at least 64 grams of carbs each. My exercise has been off. I;ve been feeling sad that my ex died. My current boyfriend calls me names. We broke up when I was 135lbs. I started going out with him again at 151. He calls me fatty or fat *kitten*, thunder thighs. I know I am responsible for my weight. My exercising was so strong when I lost weight the first time. Many days I get hungry and eat over the limit. My preparation isn't the best. Plus I am drinking 2-3 glasses of water. I know I can turn this around. My fitnesspal helped me once but its so easy to gain weight back. The biggest thing I've said is I'll start tomorrow. That's BS. I will not say that again to let me be unhealthy today. I got this...

    Well you can drop 160 pounds easily by dropping your jerk of a boyfriend, IMO.

    And I'm sorry your ex died :(

    Yea, you should probably dump him.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    Rashmi411 wrote: »
    I am now 170lbs I spent 2 years going from 191 to 123. I had the help of a fabulous online trainer. I ate 2 cinnabons yesterday with at least 64 grams of carbs each. My exercise has been off. I;ve been feeling sad that my ex died. My current boyfriend calls me names. We broke up when I was 135lbs. I started going out with him again at 151. He calls me fatty or fat *kitten*, thunder thighs. I know I am responsible for my weight. My exercising was so strong when I lost weight the first time. Many days I get hungry and eat over the limit. My preparation isn't the best. Plus I am drinking 2-3 glasses of water. I know I can turn this around. My fitnesspal helped me once but its so easy to gain weight back. The biggest thing I've said is I'll start tomorrow. That's BS. I will not say that again to let me be unhealthy today. I got this...

    Well you can drop 160 pounds easily by dropping your jerk of a boyfriend, IMO.

    And I'm sorry your ex died :(

    Yea, you should probably dump him.

    No judgement, but I agree. Don't stay with someone who treats you like that. You totally deserve better! <3
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    Rashmi411 wrote: »
    I am now 170lbs I spent 2 years going from 191 to 123. I had the help of a fabulous online trainer. I ate 2 cinnabons yesterday with at least 64 grams of carbs each. My exercise has been off. I;ve been feeling sad that my ex died. My current boyfriend calls me names. We broke up when I was 135lbs. I started going out with him again at 151. He calls me fatty or fat *kitten*, thunder thighs. I know I am responsible for my weight. My exercising was so strong when I lost weight the first time. Many days I get hungry and eat over the limit. My preparation isn't the best. Plus I am drinking 2-3 glasses of water. I know I can turn this around. My fitnesspal helped me once but its so easy to gain weight back. The biggest thing I've said is I'll start tomorrow. That's BS. I will not say that again to let me be unhealthy today. I got this...

    Well you can drop 160 pounds easily by dropping your jerk of a boyfriend, IMO.

    And I'm sorry your ex died :(

    Exactly what I thought. You deserve so much better!
  • m1xm0d3
    m1xm0d3 Posts: 1,576 Member
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    Yesterday I ate an entire Jersey Mikes Giant Italian sub within about 1 hour. 1,300+ calories. 50 grams of fat. 80 protein. I forget the carbs but I didn't care cuz I was still under for the day thanks to the exercise. I also think it had like 4k grams of sodium. No wonder I weighed 3 lbs heavier this AM. Will take a few days to settle from that shake up!
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
    edited April 2015
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    I know I just said I was going to lurk, but I almost had a breakdown when I thought I forgot my peanut butter. You can't expect me to eat plan rice cakes plain?!

    Thankfully I found it. Peanut butter makes everything better.
  • marissafit06
    marissafit06 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    ShibaEars wrote: »
    I know I just said I was going to lurk, but I almost had a breakdown when I thought I forgot my peanut butter. You can't expect me to eat plan rice cakes plain?!

    Thankfully I found it. Peanut butter makes everything better.

    Crisis averted. ;)
  • BoxerBrawler
    BoxerBrawler Posts: 2,032 Member
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    I made one confession already and here's another. I am still trying to not be judgy... But when I am at my desk, which is like Grand Central Station for people coming/going from the department, I have to see them come and go with breakfast, snacks, lunch... They have to pass by my desk to go up to the cafeteria to get food (unless they bring it). All day long I have to watch them parade by me with garbage that I would NEVER put into my body. Like I said, trying not to be judgy here but UGH!
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
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    ShibaEars wrote: »
    I know I just said I was going to lurk, but I almost had a breakdown when I thought I forgot my peanut butter. You can't expect me to eat plan rice cakes plain?!

    Thankfully I found it. Peanut butter makes everything better.

    Crisis averted. ;)

    Lol, I was just thinking I should've added that to my post.