"You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?

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  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
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    I've never had this happen. I suspect it never will, but I'm really hopeful that it does. lol.
  • Whittedo
    Whittedo Posts: 352 Member
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    First off: Awesome comeback @HardcoreP0rk Second the progress made by so many of the posters in this thread is nothing short of amazing. You all should be proud.

    Now my story: When people first noticed that I was losing weight I got comments like "what do you need to lose weight for?" and "are you sure you're not sick?" I have now lost close to 40 pounds with 11 more to go to reach my goal weight. People regularly ask tell me "that's enough now". No it's not! I'll know when it is enough. If MORE of you had been concerned when I was heavy maybe I would have wised up sooner. When I do reach my goal I will be 125 pounds and I'm 5'5". Today I ran 5.75 km down the Don Valley Trail and then walked back up to my car, so I'm just fine physically thank you very much.
  • kshadows
    kshadows Posts: 1,315 Member
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    I've been getting this lately.... "You're so skinny!" which I suppose they mean as a compliment....I tend to just smile awkwardly and say thanks...
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
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    it's nobody's business about what size you are but your own.
    the fact that you eat a healthy amount and exercise for reasons to maintain health as well to get better at running, is perfectly normal.
    from a clinical standpoint as a counselor in a residential mental health apartment program as well as someone in recovery with relapses from anorexia nervosa, it does not sound like bdd or an eating disorder. it sounds like as a culture, we are used to seeing obesitiy and overweight, and now regular, healthy, even a little slender is "you are too skinny."
    if you feel YOU have a positive and healthy relationship with food, your body and with exercise, and you feel healthy and happy then good for you. that is amazing and don't you let anybody take that away.
    keep on keeping on, and if you ever notice a change in those thoughts or behaviors, please seek help!
  • quintoespada
    quintoespada Posts: 58 Member
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    you've also got to realize that for some people, nothing's ever good enough. you could be sitting in the 'middle' (the 'middle' being from someone else's perspective) and another person would still call you too fat, too skinny, overweight, etc.

    you have to do this for you. if you feel good being healthy and lean, stay that way, and when someone says something like that, ask them why they feel the need to judge your body when it isn't theirs or their place to say anything. ask them what their diet's like and then ask them why they feel they have room to judge anyone. ever.
  • M_Jo
    M_Jo Posts: 80 Member
    edited April 2015
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    I hate hate hate these comments. A couple months ago I decided to make it known how offended I was by the them rather than try to hide it. I don't even CRACK a smile, just raise my eyebrows and stare them down. Usually they are the ones uncomfortable and sometimes apologize. It makes me look like a *kitten* but I work hard for this kind of healthy status and I'm not about to let someone cut me down for it. They say no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. I'm simply withdrawing that permission permanently.
  • BoxerBrawler
    BoxerBrawler Posts: 2,032 Member
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    Screw em! It's about your body your health and your journey, not theirs! I went through this in the beginning when I lost a ton of weight really fast. I love my new body and my new athletic abilities and I haven't lost that fire for fitness in over two years. I am still at it, still moving forward, still staying strong and lean and I don't care what others think at this point.

    One woman I know (knew), who I hadn't seen in a couple of years... I went to a baby shower and went up to give her a hug and say hello, she turned and looked at me and yelled loudly "JC, how many times a day do you F'ing throw up?!?" I was mortified. Never spoke to her again.

    Members of my own family made jokes telling me I looked like an aids patient. A good friend of mine who I trusted and thought trusted me and my process called my husband behind my back to tell him I had an eating disorder and would like from organ failure. It was awful.

    But meanwhile... here I am more than two years later and I can out run, out lift, out endure AND out eat any of those nay sayers!

    So how do ya like me now! :wink:
  • HardcoreP0rk
    HardcoreP0rk Posts: 936 Member
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    Whittedo wrote: »
    First off: Awesome comeback @HardcoreP0rk Second the progress made by so many of the posters in this thread is nothing short of amazing. You all should be proud.

    Now my story: When people first noticed that I was losing weight I got comments like "what do you need to lose weight for?" and "are you sure you're not sick?" I have now lost close to 40 pounds with 11 more to go to reach my goal weight. People regularly ask tell me "that's enough now". No it's not! I'll know when it is enough. If MORE of you had been concerned when I was heavy maybe I would have wised up sooner. When I do reach my goal I will be 125 pounds and I'm 5'5". Today I ran 5.75 km down the Don Valley Trail and then walked back up to my car, so I'm just fine physically thank you very much.

    Oh that wasn't even the actual comeback. The comeback was "Hey I hear you. I don't want your %*#@ to get any smaller, either"

  • Whittedo
    Whittedo Posts: 352 Member
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    HardcoreP0rk wrote: »
    Whittedo wrote: »
    First off: Awesome comeback @HardcoreP0rk Second the progress made by so many of the posters in this thread is nothing short of amazing. You all should be proud.

    Now my story: When people first noticed that I was losing weight I got comments like "what do you need to lose weight for?" and "are you sure you're not sick?" I have now lost close to 40 pounds with 11 more to go to reach my goal weight. People regularly ask tell me "that's enough now". No it's not! I'll know when it is enough. If MORE of you had been concerned when I was heavy maybe I would have wised up sooner. When I do reach my goal I will be 125 pounds and I'm 5'5". Today I ran 5.75 km down the Don Valley Trail and then walked back up to my car, so I'm just fine physically thank you very much.

    Oh that wasn't even the actual comeback. The comeback was "Hey I hear you. I don't want your %*#@ to get any smaller, either"

    Damn girl, I just passed Diet Pepsi through my nose and all over my computer!!!
  • wish2bsmall
    wish2bsmall Posts: 16 Member
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    My sentiment echoes this reply from previous in the thread:
    michaelbyfield wrote: »
    The truth is that you're not too skinny. Society is WAAAAAAAY too fat. Being in shape brings it home to them and they don't like it. They would prefer you were a lot bigger which would allow them to validate themselves as 'about average' when in truth they are just too big.

    There's a lot of truth to this I think, and it's one of the big contibutors to why people sucessful with their weight loss efforts get told they're too thin or skinny. We are just not used to seeing what the human body looks like naturally anymore.
  • LifeInAWay
    LifeInAWay Posts: 50 Member
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    Someone has probably already said this, but.......It's hard for people that have known you for a long time because they are used to seeing you as a "larger person" than you are now. So it seems very drastic to them despite the fact that you're healthy. If you're at a good BMI and body fat % and you're balancing your healthy meals with your exercise, then its just something that they are going to have to get used to. It's your journey and life, not theirs. End of story.

    Just remember this (this is my favorite quote): "There are two sides to every story. So until you've read my book, dont judge me." :)
  • krissyreminisce
    krissyreminisce Posts: 284 Member
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    HardcoreP0rk wrote: »
    opalsqueak007 wrote: »
    I have gone from an obese 194lb to 142lb. People keep telling me I am so thin, too skinny, etc on a daily basis (not my family). Yesterday, a neighbour said "Do you actually eat anything?" and another man (who I work for) said "when are you going to stop?". I am 5'7" and built like a barn door. The only thing I can think of is that they have only known me as a big person and the contrast seems wrong to them. It's amazing how rude it is though, to comment uninvited on someone's body - someone who you only know vaguely.

    It's extremely rude! And I almost find it worse when they think they're being complimentary. Once again, yesterday I got the "but you're going to slow down after your race, right?" Umm no. I'm going to train like animal for the next race, and the next one. "But I don't want you to lose anymore weight, ok?" No. Not ok. You just dismissed my goals and objectives while projecting your own preferences *about MY body* onto me. On what planet is that cool?

    I've had more than one person suggest I cut down my cardio (so I can focus on lifting, which I'd like to do) but I really enjoy running. People seem to tune out when I say that, though. :confused:
  • annette_15
    annette_15 Posts: 1,657 Member
    edited May 2015
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    @cushman5279
    I cant believe she said that! I randomly looked at your diary diary tho... please take care okay? You have a very large deficit most days :worried:
  • gdyment
    gdyment Posts: 299 Member
    edited May 2015
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    HardcoreP0rk wrote: »
    Once again, yesterday I got the "but you're going to slow down after your race, right?" Umm no. I'm going to train like animal for the next race, and the next one. "But I don't want you to lose anymore weight, ok?" No. Not ok.

    "the trick is to keep losing weight until your friends and family ask you if you've been sick. then you know you're within 10 pounds. if they start whispering to each other, wondering if you've got cancer or aids, you're within 5. when they actually do an intervention, you're at race weight." - Slowman (Dan Empfield)

    I'm 5'7" male, going below 150 lbs again - believe me I hear it to no end. I don't take it personally or as an insult as they've just lost their barometer of what healthy/lean looks like. USA has a lot of really big people and it skews what normal is.

  • CrabNebula
    CrabNebula Posts: 1,119 Member
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    gdyment wrote: »

    I'm 5'7" male, going below 150 lbs again - believe me I hear it to no end. I don't take it personally or as an insult as they've just lost their barometer of what healthy/lean looks like. USA has a lot of really big people and it skews what normal is.

    Around 70% of the adult US population is overweight or obese. I have heard plenty of people say that once they get down into the overweight BMI category, they will stop losing weight because they don't want to turn into skeletons or that they would look emaciated at a normal weight. TBH, I sort of thought the same thing, but my BMI is now 21.9 and I still have plenty of body fat and I don't look like I am starving to death.

  • capybara101
    capybara101 Posts: 12 Member
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    I get comments like these too. I'm 5' 3" and weigh 115lbs, but well within the healthy BMI range. I've lost three stone over the last year and am so proud of myself, but now people's comments are getting me down a bit. My stomach is my problem area and I'm working on it, but the more weight I shed goes from my neckline, which does sometimes make me look a bit gaunt. Sigh. Oh well! I tell people I'm happy and shimmy into skinny dresses...

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