You don't have to explain your diet to everyone. Just take ownership.
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Great post!
I think a lot of times when people complain about the judgment they get for their diet, it's because they're talking about their diet.
"No thanks, I'm counting calories and it would push me over for the day" is just an invitation to the other person to comment and start a whole conversation about weight loss. It will inevitably lead to them giving their opinion, going on and on about their own struggles with weight loss, bringing up the latest fad diet, or going down any number of rabbit holes.
"No, thanks" is enough. If they ask again, follow up with "really, no thanks, I'm fine" and leave it at that.
We often get the reactions we ask for.
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good pointGreat post!
I think a lot of times when people complain about the judgment they get for their diet, it's because they're talking about their diet.
"No thanks, I'm counting calories and it would push me over for the day" is just an invitation to the other person to comment and start a whole conversation about weight loss. It will inevitably lead to them giving their opinion, going on and on about their own struggles with weight loss, bringing up the latest fad diet, or going down any number of rabbit holes.
"No, thanks" is enough. If they ask again, follow up with "really, no thanks, I'm fine" and leave it at that.
We often get the reactions we ask for.
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People: "How dare they say NO?!" *The M.F.P. crowd begins a slow thunderous clap* -world breaks-0
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A lot of times, my friends will say "calories dont count when you're.... eating standing up, eating with friends, having cake, etc". It's so annoying. I'm like "no, they do count and they dont fit into my day/week so leave me alone"
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asflatasapancake wrote: »I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?
I don't think so. I will say that, in general from what I have observed, more women than men seem to have more trouble saying "no" without more of an explanation than men do. (This is a generalization based on my own observation of the women around me.)0 -
This is an awesome post, and OMG you look amazeballs.0
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asflatasapancake wrote: »I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?
I don't think so. I will say that, in general from what I have observed, more women than men seem to have more trouble saying "no" without more of an explanation than men do. (This is a generalization based on my own observation of the women around me.)
Men know what they want, women need someone to tell us.0 -
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One of my favorite tools with pushy people is to turn it back on them. "Wow, what I eat is really important to you!" "Why is it so important to you that I eat this?" "What happens if I don't have any? You seem really concerned."0
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One of my favorite tools with pushy people is to turn it back on them. "Wow, what I eat is really important to you!" "Why is it so important to you that I eat this?" "What happens if I don't have any? You seem really concerned."
Love this! Would love to see the reaction... Will have to try that one out when "No, thanks" doesn't seem to suffice.0 -
asflatasapancake wrote: »I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?
I don't think so. I will say that, in general from what I have observed, more women than men seem to have more trouble saying "no" without more of an explanation than men do. (This is a generalization based on my own observation of the women around me.)
Men know what they want, women need someone to tell us.
I can't tell if you are being serious or not.
I think it's a matter of more women being concerned with hurting people's feelings. Not that men are out to hurt people's feelings. Just that fewer of them associate "no, I don't want cake" with personal rejection than do women. When I tell my sister "no, I don't want cake," she hears "I think your cake looks gross and would never eat it. In fact I can't believe you are eating it. Why would you eat that cake? Don't you know it's terrible for you? And by the way your roots are showing." So when I tell her no, I am more apt to try to explain a bit more. When I tell my husband "no, I don't want cake," he hears "Jemhh does not want cake. I can put the lid back on it without cutting her a piece."0 -
No kidding...how is this not completely obvious?
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asflatasapancake wrote: »I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?
I don't think so. I will say that, in general from what I have observed, more women than men seem to have more trouble saying "no" without more of an explanation than men do. (This is a generalization based on my own observation of the women around me.)
Men know what they want, women need someone to tell us.
Speak for yourself.
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asflatasapancake wrote: »asflatasapancake wrote: »I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?
I don't think so. I will say that, in general from what I have observed, more women than men seem to have more trouble saying "no" without more of an explanation than men do. (This is a generalization based on my own observation of the women around me.)
On the other hand, I think it is somewhat expected that men eat whatever they want, so when they say "no", it is unexpected. I know I've received quite a few comments about me refusing food.
Mainly it's that men in general have more margin in their food budget between the deficit and maintenance, or even over maintenance calories.
Between hormones and our smaller size, in general, that extra tortilla, serving carbs or fats, or that cookie can make or break the deficit or not.
My husband does not have to count calories. Me, if I want to remain a lean and mean machine, it is necessary.
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#gives OP standing ovation0
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Let's take gender out of it because there are plenty of examples on both sides. But for some people / in some cultures, food is love, and turning down food that's been offered is considered rude.
I agree that it can be tricky when people insist and you feel uncomfortable saying no, but it's the kind of thing that's only uncomfortable once or twice until you get used to it. Say "no thanks" once and get pushback, but politely stick to it, and the next time will be easier and sooner or later people will stop offering you that extra piece of cake because they know you always say no.0 -
Will you be my best friend? I love what you posted.
Good work!0 -
asflatasapancake wrote: »I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?
Who cares? You getta stay!
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lol I was accused of being no fun because I would only eat two buffalo wings. I also noticed some people get upset when some one else compliments me on my weight loss. I think it is jealousy but i could be wrong0
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Love this advise. Must be why I have you on my friends list. You are amazing0
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californiagirl2012 wrote: »
Me too. Happens in my family as well (mother's side). Anyone who doesn't want to pig out when they are is a party pooper. Oh well.....Meet Ms. Party Pooper.0 -
OP, you look fantastic. Way to represent for us women over 50. Great post.0
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hello Ms pooper I am Mr pooper lol.
I have 10 months till I turn 50 and I want to walk in to my party with a 6 pack ( no not beers lol) and say this is why i only had 2 wings lol0 -
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BigLifter10 wrote: »
Thanks my friend0 -
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BigLifter10 wrote: »
Yes. It's really How to Adult 101.0
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