"You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?

1121315171828

Replies

  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    Most of the people who say that are usually out of shape/overweight so I just ignore them. If you really want to debate them on the merits, you can say you are a runner and use these charts:
    http://www.runnersworld.com/run-the-numbers/bmis-of-champions-womens-edition?nopaging=1
    http://www.runnersworld.com/run-the-numbers/bmis-of-champions-mens-edition?nopaging=1

    You can also ask then what their BMI and sport of choice is. That usually shuts them up pretty quick.
  • holly55555
    holly55555 Posts: 307 Member
    I've gotten this my whole life, and let me tell you, even though I was thin, my BF% was around 31%! That is overweight. The people that generally say this are out of shape themselves and it makes them feel better to tell themselves that you are "sick" and THEY are really the ideal. It's the same thing when average-sized people see celebrities - they go, "Oh, they must not eat anything." That may be true for some, but most just eat healthy and workout like crazy. It's just an excuse so they don't feel bad about their own habits.

    I always thought it was strange how normalized skinny-shaming is. When I was a teen, I was at some department store and I saw some cute jeans. I went to look for the size and on the tag it said "Real Women Have Curves". Turns out they were plus-sized jeans and didn't come in my size. But I was really shocked - so what am I then? A Pretend Woman? Could you imagine if non plus-sized clothing said on the tags "Not for Fatties"?

    People also used to come up to me and grab my hipbones and comment on my size all the time. What if I went up and grabbed their fat rolls and made comments? It's a total double standard.

    Overall, look at your audience. Is the person making the comment an athlete? Thin? Fit? A doctor? Or overweight and unhealthy? Because honestly, if the person claiming I work out too much or don't eat enough is someone who overeats and out of shape, I don't really want their diet advice.
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
    I'm sort of glad my mom still thinks I'm too fat (and I am). When my not-fat sister started working on losing baby weight, my mom told her her face was ugly (it's not). Too fat>ugly face.
  • kanerz14
    kanerz14 Posts: 85 Member
    "They Marathon runners at the front; yeah they guys that are taking it seriously...They're all too skinny!!"....

    Said no-one ever... :)
  • zira91
    zira91 Posts: 670 Member
    I went through the same thing in college...I went from 220 lbs to 154 lbs and everyone would say things like, "Ok, you're done now." "You don't need to lose anymore, you'll look sick." and crap like that. Keep in mind I am only 5'4" so that was still technically "overweight" for my height. I wanted to lose another 15-20 lbs which was reasonable...unfortunately all the flack I got made me second guess myself and I never reached that goal...but I am this time. :) Don't let others opinions over YOUR body bring you down. You look great and keep it up!

    this! i know ive lose weight and i look smaller than i did before this, but my bmi is still not in the healthy range.. why stop now? this people is usually called as direct sabotagers.. fufufu.. in fact my housemate is one. explaining everything to them usually doesn't make them understand.. *sigh*

    never give up and keep it up! coz like elle said, Don't let others opinions over YOUR body bring you down. You look great and keep it up!!
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,208 Member
    This is (almost) funny! I got my first "don't lose any more, you look great" at 203lbs, about 8lbs into the obese range!

    At 185lbs (bmi 28, clearly overweight, man-boobs for Pete's sake!) I've actually heard it from multiple people including the neighbours.

    That and either the cheary "what's your secret", or the hesitant "is everything OK with your health"--as if they just noticed the 18 month process...
  • HAS415
    HAS415 Posts: 48 Member
    Yes, I get that all the time. From my family, my trainer, my friends, coworkers, customers, people on here. It's crazy. I'm trying to gain a few more to meet the goal my trainer set for me. I went from 278 down to 142 in two years. I'm 5' 10". I wish I could be 135. Even 145 but I need my trainer's help so what he says goes. But yeah, I get that all the time too. It's confusing because I still see myself as needing to lose 20 more.
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
    HAS415 wrote: »
    Yes, I get that all the time. From my family, my trainer, my friends, coworkers, customers, people on here. It's crazy. I'm trying to gain a few more to meet the goal my trainer set for me. I went from 278 down to 142 in two years. I'm 5' 10". I wish I could be 135. Even 145 but I need my trainer's help so what he says goes. But yeah, I get that all the time too. It's confusing because I still see myself as needing to lose 20 more.

    well if you lost 20 more you'd be well into "underweight" on the charts....so definitely listen to your trainer. lol
  • JessicasGold
    JessicasGold Posts: 25 Member
    My response is always "and this is why I do what I do; to educate people such as yourself, to know that a healthy body is not determined by others' perception of what a healthy body should look like." #thatisall :smile:
  • bbontheb
    bbontheb Posts: 718 Member
    I'm sort of glad my mom still thinks I'm too fat (and I am). When my not-fat sister started working on losing baby weight, my mom told her her face was ugly (it's not). Too fat>ugly face.

    Ugh. Heart hurt...one of my best friend's mom actually says things like this. "You're getting too fat" (she's like what a size 6?). I don't know why people assume it doesn't hurt when you re an adult. You wouldn't say this to a child (oh man...so awful) why would people talk like this to adults :(
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member

    shell1005 wrote: »
    I still think that there is much less "skinny shaming" than "fat shaming" in society if we are being honest. Skinny folk are generally seen as nicer, more attractive, smarter, healthier, more dedicated, etc.

    Let's not pretend that skinny or normal body weight folks are some discriminated class of citizens.

    I also think 99% of the time those who say don't lose too much or that you are getting skinny are just reconciling the new you with the old you they have known forever. While it may be annoying or bothersome, it's really understandable and quite normal IMO.
    shell1005 wrote: »
    I also think 99% of the time those who say don't lose too much or that you are getting skinny are just reconciling the new you with the old you they have known forever. While it may be annoying or bothersome, it's really understandable and quite normal IMO.

    I strongly disagree with the 99% part. Many of the people who hear this have been at a healthy weight their entire life.

    Your example may be true in many cases but nowhere near 99% of the time.

    You may be right about fat shaming being more common than skinny shaming, however I do not think one is more acceptable than the other.
  • anna_jewel
    anna_jewel Posts: 127 Member
    I am not at goal weight yet, but close. I am getting some - your skinny comments but its all complements to me. I always say, Thanks I am working on it :)
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
    bbontheb wrote: »
    I'm sort of glad my mom still thinks I'm too fat (and I am). When my not-fat sister started working on losing baby weight, my mom told her her face was ugly (it's not). Too fat>ugly face.

    Ugh. Heart hurt...one of my best friend's mom actually says things like this. "You're getting too fat" (she's like what a size 6?). I don't know why people assume it doesn't hurt when you re an adult. You wouldn't say this to a child (oh man...so awful) why would people talk like this to adults :(

    Unfortunately there ARE people who would say this to their child. Some people are just mean at heart.
  • giusa
    giusa Posts: 577 Member
    Here are some comebacks that will shut them up real quick. "You're too skinny!"

    "Yeah... for an American, maybe."
    "My weight is medically appropriate for my height. How's yours?"
    "I know, right? Diabetes and heart disease are really angry that I lost all this weight. Now they have to go find someone else to squat on."
    "Does my body displease you? For a while there, my self-esteem was getting too high. I appreciate you bringing me down a notch."
    "Thank you. It's good to get an unqualified layman's opinion to counterbalance my doctor's professional opinion."

    Just a withering up-and-down glare punctuated with a sarcastic smile is enough to shut them up usually... but make sure you focus your stare for an extra-long time on their midsection so they get your drift.

    I personally don't even bother with elaborate comebacks. If someone tells me "You're too skinny," I just retort with "You're just biased because you're fat." Hey, if they were dickish enough to insult my healthy body to my face, they kinda had it coming. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

    That said, I don't support body shaming of anyone. It's just that some people need to get a taste of their own medicine in order to understand why what they're doing is wrong.


    LUV LUV LUV your comebacks @TitaniaEcks! Now if I could only just remember one and pull it off lol
  • annabanana2097
    annabanana2097 Posts: 1 Member
    Yes this definitely happens to me too!! Even when you're healthy, this comment comes up. I think the important thing to do is to mainly emphasize your health
  • bbontheb
    bbontheb Posts: 718 Member
    bbontheb wrote: »
    I'm sort of glad my mom still thinks I'm too fat (and I am). When my not-fat sister started working on losing baby weight, my mom told her her face was ugly (it's not). Too fat>ugly face.

    Ugh. Heart hurt...one of my best friend's mom actually says things like this. "You're getting too fat" (she's like what a size 6?). I don't know why people assume it doesn't hurt when you re an adult. You wouldn't say this to a child (oh man...so awful) why would people talk like this to adults :(

    Unfortunately there ARE people who would say this to their child. Some people are just mean at heart.

    I must be very emotional and pms'ing today because that totally makes me almost cry .
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
    bbontheb wrote: »
    bbontheb wrote: »
    I'm sort of glad my mom still thinks I'm too fat (and I am). When my not-fat sister started working on losing baby weight, my mom told her her face was ugly (it's not). Too fat>ugly face.

    Ugh. Heart hurt...one of my best friend's mom actually says things like this. "You're getting too fat" (she's like what a size 6?). I don't know why people assume it doesn't hurt when you re an adult. You wouldn't say this to a child (oh man...so awful) why would people talk like this to adults :(

    Unfortunately there ARE people who would say this to their child. Some people are just mean at heart.

    I must be very emotional and pms'ing today because that totally makes me almost cry .

    Yeah. It's pretty sad. I sat on a bus one time and listened to a mother chat with a complete stranger about how her daughter (who was about 6 or 7 and full cognizant of the conversation) was VERY overweight compared with the charts for kids her age and she would have to have a talk with the doctor about how to "fix her".....she was mildly chubby, by the way. Pretty standard looking for a kid that age. Some are bigger, some are smaller....it tends to kind of even out AFTER puberty.

  • lucys1225
    lucys1225 Posts: 597 Member
    shell1005 wrote: »
    I still think that there is much less "skinny shaming" than "fat shaming" in society if we are being honest. Skinny folk are generally seen as nicer, more attractive, smarter, healthier, more dedicated, etc.

    Let's not pretend that skinny or normal body weight folks are some discriminated class of citizens.

    I also think 99% of the time those who say don't lose too much or that you are getting skinny are just reconciling the new you with the old you they have known forever. While it may be annoying or bothersome, it's really understandable and quite normal IMO.

    I disagree. For some strange reason people find it appropriate to say to a thin person "eat a cheeseburger" or "you're too skinny" but if I were to say "stop eating so many cheeseburgers" or "you're too fat" to any of those who have said that to me it would not, in any way, be considered appropriate.