Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

berlynnwall wrote: »

KylerJaye wrote: »

rungirl1973 wrote: »

berlynnwall wrote: »

So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).

*Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.

I remember that. It always stinks to lose a friendship. It was your day.

Also, never loan money to a friend. I have been without one of my best friends for years because I loaned her something like $600 in 2004 (which I never saw again, even though she took her kids to Cancun with her tax refund a few months after the loan). Honestly, I don't even care about that money. We've been trying to rebuild the friendship over the past couple of years, and it's been really tough - even harder because I don't live in the same town anymore.

i lost my best friend about 10 years ago over trivial crap. we went to high school together, college together, shared an apartment at one point and were basically joined at the hip.

i loaned her money so we could go see tori amos together and she paid me back, so all cool. she wanted to go to more shows and i was always in charge of getting the tickets. even though i was only making minimum wage at the time, i had the stupidity of youth on my side and a discover card in my pocket, so i could always come through. two shows popped up that were in the 2-3 hour away range and i bought the tickets for us. i'd also loaned her money for a concert t-shirt and a bunch of books she wanted. about a week before the concert she tells me she can't go, doesn't have the money. didn't really seem to care that the tickets were already paid for. got in a massive fight on the phone and i got really frustrated and hung up on her.

i tried calling her the next day but she wouldn't answer the phone. i left her messages saying that even though she didn't have the money, i still had the tickets, so we might as well go and have fun. no reply. also, prior to the fight, i had entered an essay contest to have our seats upgraded to the front row at the show, then found out after the fight that i had won. but me still being a total doormat wanted to surprise her with the upgrade, so i kept leaving her messages alluding to how totally awesome this show was going to be. i probably left her about a dozen messages, up to the morning of the show. no answer, no reply. i tried calling her from my phone at work, she answered (not knowing the number) i said hi, and she hung up.

i waited a few months and sent her a couple emails. nothing. then after a couple years i tried reaching out to her again...nothing. i never heard another word from her. i still miss her

I'm sorry you went through that. I just don't understand how people can walk away like that without saying another word. It's really sad.

bkhamill wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

kelly_c_77 wrote: »

FluffySandwich wrote: »

ythannah wrote: »

FluffySandwich wrote: »

And about names- mine is Savannah. My mom was going to name me Isabella if I had dark hair, but I was born blonde.... so Savannah it was. It's a pretty popular name in the Southern United States, but in Montreal it has gotten butchered so many times. I haven't met a single person with my name up here!

I named one of my former dogs Savannah, for Savannah Georgia actually, because I always wanted to go there. All of my dogs since then have had geographic names.

When one of my young coworkers was pregnant, knew she was having a girl, and couldn't think of a girl's name... I suggested Savannah. My rationale was that her son had the same name as one of my earlier dogs so her second child should be named after my dog too. Turns out her husband went to school with a Savannah and didn't like the girl so Savannah was tainted for him as a name. However, ever since then I have referred to her daughter as Savannah instead of her real name.

The funny thing is that my sister's name is Georgia. People always get a good laugh over that when we introduce ourselves at the same time

Alma102724 wrote: »

FluffySandwich wrote: »

Alma102724 wrote: »

Ok heres my 3rd contribution to this thread:

My dad AND my dog died on April 19. My dog at 3:00am and my dad at 5:28pm. He had a stroke and was recovering from it, was set to be released, then he had another massive stroke which did it for him. He was on a breathing tube, which he was against from the get go, but he was able to communicate with his foot. (up and down for yes, side to side for no) I was able to talk to him and ask him questions like "Do you understand what will happen if we take the tube out?" So in a sense I was able to get some type of closure. However right now, at this moment, I feel guilty for being so impatient with him towards his last days, I feel guilty for sometimes not even missing him, and I feel guilty for forgetting that he's gone. Towards the end of his days, he was either in dialysis or in the hospital and when he was home, he said very little but was always upbeat and happy (for the most part, well as happy as he could be given the situation/s he was put in.) It just feels like I didn't "feel" his passing even though as I write this it hurts my heart knowing he's gone.

My dog, we had her for 15 years. When my dad was diagnosed with renal failure so was my dog, when he was diagnosed with arthritis so was she, etc. She was close to him but she was still my dog. When he had his first stroke she had a seizure. When he had his second one she had another seizure. She stopped eating and I blame myself for not watching her as I should have because for a whole week we were going back and forth to the hospital to be at my dad's bedside. I just wanted to spend as much time with him as possible because I knew he wasn't going to be around for much longer. I didn't want to believe it but somehow I gave in to it and it wasn't until the day before her passing that I realized how thin she had gotten. We came home that night to sleep for a few hours and shower, my dad had since been taken off the breathing tube and it was just a waiting game at that point. I let her in, she was breathing rapidly so I thought it was just because she was excited and would calm down. She never did. She started throwing up nothing because there was nothing in her stomach so it was a dry heeve type of thing. I took her to the ER, once I pulled in to the parking lot she passed out. I thought she died. I ran inside screaming and she threw up some foamy stuff. The doctor ran out to meet me and took her back. I fell in to one of the consult rooms where I was inconsolable. I knew if she died my dad would follow. The tech came out told me how much it would be to stabalize her and I told her to do it I didnt care, it was my dog just save her. A few minutes later the doctor comes out and tells me she has fluid in her lungs and around her heart and he needed me to decide what I wanted to do. I knew I was going to have to contribute to my dad's funeral expenses and I knew if they drained it, it would just come back again.

I chose to have her put down rather than the latter. Now I feel guilty for not saving her, for not doing everything I could to take care of her. It all happened so fast.

I called my brother who stayed with my dad that night, screaming and crying for him to check on dad and make sure he was breathing, he was. I went back home with my dog in a plastic bag, let her two girls (she had puppies once, I kept two) say goodbye and we buried her. I slept for maybe an hour and it was off to the hospital again.

My dad passed later that day at 5:28pm.

I feel guilty for a lot of this. I feel like I'm cold for not missing either one of them, when everyone told me they saw the love I had for them both, but as I write this I can't help but feel so much hurt inside of me.

We came home to find my dad's recliner empty and my dog's bed as well. She wasn't there to comfort me and neither was he. Our house feels so strange now.

Don't blame yourself or feel bad for any of the feelings you are experiencing. Death has a way of shaking you up like that, and you had two significant losses in one day. I can't express how sorry I am!

I don't know if this will be of any help to you, but I lost my dad last year. He had been struggling with multiple sclerosis ever since before I was born, and he spent the last years of his life almost completely paralyzed. I lived with him in high school and helped to take care of him (basic things like cooking meals, etc), but I feel horrible about how irritated I was at him sometimes for needing the treatment he did (too hot, too cold, needed to be turned over in his bed). Saying this feels me with shame, but I loved him deeply as it sounds like you did your own father. We are people too, though, and can't always be perfect individuals.

For a long time I just felt shock over it, and still do in a sense... I don't cry over him very often at all (there have been times when I have been overcome with grief and couldn't get out of bed), and feel guilty about it, but I cannot bring myself to say the word ''dad'' unless I am talking to my family... it brings up all these sad feelings.

Whether you cry or are in shock or cannot bring yourself to feel much of anything, people mourn and grieve in different ways and it doesn't mean you didn't care. Again, I'm so sorry.

Yes that is exactly how I felt! Especially how you mentioned not crying at all, some days I'm so nonchalant about everything. Then there's days like this, where I think I should be sad.

For him it was always too hot or cold, too much light coming in it had to always be dark and I'd get so frustrated and tell him he needed to be in the sunlight and he'd say his eyes hurt with the bright light. I didn't realize to what extent that's why I feel bad.

I can't say my dad is dead out loud or anything mentioning the word death, dying, etc. I just can't. Honestly (confession) I feel worse watching my mom cry than knowing my dad is gone. At least I know he's not suffering but her, she loved that man. She was with him 40+ years I can't imagine what she must be feeling.

I agree, it's really difficult watching the (still living) loved ones around you suffer. I cried a lot during the funeral. And you're right about our dads not suffering anymore, at least there is that

I have to agree with this also. My parents were together for almost 50 years when my mom passed last year. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad retired at an early age. So once he retired, they were both home every day together for the past 25 years and were so close. They built their own little world in that house and now my dad has to live in it...alone. It is heartbreaking. Going through my mom's things to help clean out the house was just awful...everything in there had a memory to go with it...and we had to see my dad struggle with each item he touched. In my 36 years, I had never seen my dad cry...until last year. Now it's kind of normal to see him cry...because he does it so often.

This is so sad. I am sorry.

My grandmother passed away 3 months before my grandparents would have had their 70th wedding anniversary - yes- seventy - not a typo. My grandpa was lost after that, he was not complete. All he had known for 70 years was with her by his side, she was a housewife all those years and cooked for him 3 meals a day - he had to learn to do all things for himself. He did manage to go on for another 4 years after that, but he was not happy after she was gone. He passed away last summer July 7 at age 94.

kellienw335 wrote: »

KylerJaye wrote: »

rungirl1973 wrote: »

berlynnwall wrote: »

So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).

*Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.

I remember that. It always stinks to lose a friendship. It was your day.

Also, never loan money to a friend. I have been without one of my best friends for years because I loaned her something like $600 in 2004 (which I never saw again, even though she took her kids to Cancun with her tax refund a few months after the loan). Honestly, I don't even care about that money. We've been trying to rebuild the friendship over the past couple of years, and it's been really tough - even harder because I don't live in the same town anymore.

i lost my best friend about 10 years ago over trivial crap. we went to high school together, college together, shared an apartment at one point and were basically joined at the hip.

i loaned her money so we could go see tori amos together and she paid me back, so all cool. she wanted to go to more shows and i was always in charge of getting the tickets. even though i was only making minimum wage at the time, i had the stupidity of youth on my side and a discover card in my pocket, so i could always come through. two shows popped up that were in the 2-3 hour away range and i bought the tickets for us. i'd also loaned her money for a concert t-shirt and a bunch of books she wanted. about a week before the concert she tells me she can't go, doesn't have the money. didn't really seem to care that the tickets were already paid for. got in a massive fight on the phone and i got really frustrated and hung up on her.

i tried calling her the next day but she wouldn't answer the phone. i left her messages saying that even though she didn't have the money, i still had the tickets, so we might as well go and have fun. no reply. also, prior to the fight, i had entered an essay contest to have our seats upgraded to the front row at the show, then found out after the fight that i had won. but me still being a total doormat wanted to surprise her with the upgrade, so i kept leaving her messages alluding to how totally awesome this show was going to be. i probably left her about a dozen messages, up to the morning of the show. no answer, no reply. i tried calling her from my phone at work, she answered (not knowing the number) i said hi, and she hung up.

i waited a few months and sent her a couple emails. nothing. then after a couple years i tried reaching out to her again...nothing. i never heard another word from her. i still miss her

I had a friend since grade school, I moved around a little bit after high school and finally settled in South Carolina. She stayed in our small town in Illinois. I was always the one making the effort to keep in touch. Finally about 6 years ago in my early 30s I called and told her that I was tired of being the one that made the effort all the time, we talked for awhile and she promised that she would be better. Told her I loved her and I'd let her call me next time. Haven't talked to her since. Still makes me sad.

JPW1990 wrote: »

ShibaEars wrote: »

JPW1990 wrote: »

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

ShibaEars wrote: »

Francl27 wrote: »

ShibaEars wrote: »

BZAH10 wrote: »

Francl27 wrote: »

BZAH10 wrote: »

Francl27 wrote: »

festerw wrote: »

The Smart Ones Chicken Strips and Fries I just had for lunch merely angered me, so I'm eating 2 Oreo Pop Tarts as well.

I laughed out loud at this.

MoHousdon wrote: »

I have to confess that although I've been feeling this way for a while now (not sure why) I lost all interest in continuing to work at my current job yesterday while talking to the owner of my company. It's not even that I want a DIFFERENT job, I just don't want to work. at all. period. Honestly, if it weren't for the benefits I get (really inexpensive insurance, 2 weeks of vacation, 3 sick/personal days, free fitness center, and a pretty decent wage), I would quit and be a SAHM even though my daughter is 13.

You know, it's funny, so many people I know wish they could be a SAHM... but I wish I could work, lol! I'm not a people person but I still miss human interaction. Honestly, if it wasn't for Internet I'd feel very lonely, I think. I moved here 5 years ago and I really have no friends (except a couple other moms I talk to once a week after school while the kids play). Mostly it's the sense of accomplishment I'm missing... but I guess I never really felt it while I was working either. It is sad when the only things I accomplish in a day is catching up on laundry, doing groceries, and cooking dinner (and making laundry soap. Which I still haven't done).

I mean, I enjoy the free time obviously, but I'm afraid in 10 years I'll look back and will have accomplished absolutely nothing, and won't even be able to find a job.

CountessKitteh wrote: »

Francl27 wrote: »

Skipping 4 pages just to say that I found the Halo Top ice cream at Wegmans. They only had vanilla.

And I'm completely shocked because it's actually VERY good.

Confession: Part of me wishes you had said it was terrible. The other part of me is totally going to my Wegmans tomorrow.

I want to go again now and buy the last 3 pints LOL. But I'm lazy. And I have too much ice cream in the freezer.

I don't think it's sad, but if you are feeling unfulfilled then my suggestion would be to start pursuing things now that interest you since you have time. If you do want to get back into the work force eventually then now is the time to start volunteering places, adding skills to your resume, taking skills-refresher courses, etc. Try it until you find something you like!

I just have no idea what I want to do, which really doesn't help, lol. I'm not going to worry about it until September at least... then we'll see.

I'm the same way, which is why this topic interests me. I'm fortunate that I really like my career and the field that I'm in. But as far as hobbies and interests??? Other than working out, I've got nothing. I don't feel empty or unfulfilled but a while back when I was trying to figure out this part of me I read something that says, "What do you enjoy doing so much that you completely lose track of time?" Um. Blank. Not a thing. Still trying to figure this one out!

I feel like I keep busy, until someone asks me what I do for fun, or in my spare time and I don't really have anything to say. Ummm... workout... walk my dog... I play a lot of Sims... Then I feel like a loser lol.

I used to play Sims but got bored with the last one because it's so hard for the kids to make friends! So it was taking me days for them to get married, and I had no idea how old their fiance really was until they moved in, then they turned into elders before having babies... I just got frustrated. The lifetimes are either too long or too short for me. I wish we could manually adjust it... I'll get back to it when they make a pets expansion.
Actually for 10 years my main hobby was MMORPGs, but I got bored with the last one and haven't found another one I want to do... I like RPGs but I'm picky about gameplay, couldn't get into Oblivion for that reason, but absolutely love the Dragon Age series. But I finished the 3rd one in a month. And 3rd person games make me sick.

My hobbies... Um. I'd say reading but I'd be lying, I used to read a LOT but nowadays it just takes me a long time to get into a book... and I still haven't recovered from the ones I read a few months ago... and what I really want is to read the new parts of the series I've started reading, not really starting something new... if that makes sense. Plus I hate reading if there are any distractions, or if I only have a limited time to do it... so the best time is the evening... but then I'd rather watch some shows.

So I guess my hobbies are working out, wasting time online, TV shows, and movies (but I'm picky about what I see). I'm still watching X files, on season 3 now, at this rate and with my Summer shows starting again, it's going to take me all Summer to finish the series, which is totally fine... Something to do.

I love singing though. I should look into joining a choir again. Had to stop when we got the kids. But I suck at reading music so it's not always easy either.

So basically... I'm a very boring person.

Are you talking Sims 3? You can adjust life span, and I have because I hate having them as babies for a long time. The kids I just get to meet & talk to friends in school so I don't have to work at it, then they can meet people at work. Usually when I find a friend I want an a (adult) sim to marry I make it happen in one date lol. Romantic Interest>BF/GF>Fiance>Wife/Husband in one go lol. There is a pet expansion, you can have cats, dogs & horses, and can "capture" wild animals like birds, lizards & rodents. There are even unicorns you can befriend and adopt (I've only been able to do it once).

In case you haven't noticed, I play this game entirely too much.

I used to play the thing all day long before I met my husband. I make their lifespan as long as I possibly can (except newborn babies, because they're boring), then I give the toddlers educational games and toys until all possible skills are at as high of a level as possible. I loved the whole teaching them to talk/walk and playing with blocks to increase logic and stuff.

Then when they became children I got to choose their traits because they were such prodigies as toddlers... And I'd get the kids into painting and fishing and music and reading until their skill levels were as high as they could get... And so on. By the time they reached adulthood, they had a level 10 in almost every skill. The perfect human!

My Sims game actually spanned three generations before I stopped playing. My original character was a great grandma!

I've restarted the Legacy challenge so many times I can't count, but I've never gotten past 4 generations. I think the problem is I never want to move anyone out of the house, so I'm trying to juggle the original couple, their kids, their kids' spouses, and their grandkids in one house. I get to the point I'm trying to carve out little closet spaces to give the new kids their own room, because I don't have room to expand the house anymore and have them get from their room to the car/schoolbus in time to get to work or school on time.

Then there's me, cold heartedly kicking them out as soon as they reach young adulthood. I keep one that I like the best to continue the game.

Every time I start over I say that's what I'm going to do, that or only let the couples have one kid each, but I always give in. Doesn't mean I'm totally soft hearted, though. I have deleted doors on small rooms in non-legacy games to see how long it takes them to die, too.

xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »

LBuehrle8 wrote: »

KylerJaye wrote: »

JPW1990 wrote: »

pearso21123 wrote: »

I just finished reading the "You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?" thread and now am feeling very grateful for my friends and family. I have only had good comments about my weight loss, so far. Of course, I still have a long ways to go. But man, reading that thread made me realize how rude and unsupportive some people are.

I first got down to my normal weight nearly 20 years ago. I went from around 500 to around 175. People who didn't recognize me treated me completely differently than they did when I was big. I got smiles and courtesy, doors held open - and I don't mean flirting, it was men and women, any ages, the way they treated me was night and day. People who were absolutely cold and wouldn't acknowledge me before would go out of their way to say hi.

Overall, I'd say that had a far bigger impact on me than the random "you need to eat a hot pocket" type comments I'd get once in a while. I'm very distrustful of people in general, now. It takes a very long time before I decide if they're actually a nice person, or if they're a "nice as long as you fit my cookie cutter mold" person. Outside of some dysfunctional family relationships, most of the comments like those in that thread will stop after people get used to seeing the smaller version of the person, but the really rude and unsupportive people are far more subtle.

the massive difference in ppl i experienced after losing 100lbs was ridiculous, i can't imagine how that must have been for you. it's made me even more bitter and cynical about people in general. because i can't help but think, how different would i be if for my whole life people just treated me like a normal person and were nice? or even just decent?

Gosh that sucks, I'm sorry y'all must have just encountered some pretty *kitten* people I can't believe people treat others that way because of their size it's so mind boggling to me!

The difference between my highest weight and lowest (which at the time, I'd lost 160 lbs) was insane. People held doors for me, looked me in the eye, listened to my opinion, etc. I was invisible when I was fat. It sucked and I actually went through a stage where I was mad at everyone for not giving me the time of day when I was fat and being all over me skinny. And I noticed as the weight came back on and I was eventually 40 lbs heavier than my lowest, people were starting to be ruder, not hold doors, notice me less, etc.

berlynnwall wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

Ok so folks that remember the litany of cats in my life... Porch Kitty showed up today with...3 kittens. God help me.

Oh no! I went through a period where every animal I had was somehow pregnant. I rescued a cat whose owners just moved out of our apartment building and left her - she gave birth to three kittens about a month later.

Then, I adopted a hamster from the pet store. The next morning I heard a strange noise and low and behold she had given birth overnight, which was weird because they supposedly separate them by gender in the store. I guess I can't blame them though - because it's pretty hard to tell. After they were weaned I bought a separate cage for the boys, and one of the girls still somehow got pregnant again before I could find homes for all of them. I felt like a hamster mill.

kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »

kelseyg22 wrote: »

dougpconnell219 wrote: »

BeardedStudWarrior wrote: »

I listen to Let It Go (sometimes) while I run.

That's nothing. I lip synch and quasi dance while on the eliptical. Anything to keep my mind off the fact that I still have x minutes to go. I'm sure my 6'4" 280 lb self looks quite manly singing Aung dancing to such classics as lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, etc.

(btw I actually have decent musical taste outside the gym. I just find my usual indie fare lacks some motivational punch on the cardio equipment.)

you guys are hilarious!! too bad you can't be my running buddies!! laughing and running at the same time has to burn twice the calories!!!

I'll confess that sometimes I'll use the treadmill as my runway as I'm dancing or fist pumping to my favorite jams. It's all good until I fall off trying to bust a move.

ShibaEars wrote: »

spamarie wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

52cardpickup wrote: »

festerw wrote: »

Francl27 wrote: »

Confession - I'm completely procrastinating on filling the dishwasher.

The wife and I both hate doing that, we will use every dish in the house before loading it. If I had unlimited funds the first thing I would do is hire someone to load the dishwasher.

I would hire someone to do my laundry. I hate doing laundry. I FULLY REALIZE it just involves sticking a bunch of clothes into a stupid machine, and then sticking them into another stupid machine. Doesn't matter. Still hate doing laundry.

Will it make you jealous if I tell you that I have a fully automated washer that will wash, spin, and then dry the clothes, all in one machine?

Editing to add: Speaking of household chores that I can't stand... I hate, hate, HATE ironing.

Um there is such a thing? Who makes it?

I have a washer/dryer all in one too. It's pretty common in the UK where space is at a premium. I don't have a dishwasher though. Jealous of you people moaning about loading the dishwasher!

Same. If someone asks if I have a dishwasher, I say "Yes", and point to myself.