Retarded and Gay

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therobinator
therobinator Posts: 832 Member
in Chit-Chat
The new girl at my work (she's pretty young - about 24 I think - without much experience in office environments) is always using the words "retarded" and "gay" to describe things that she doesn't like.....for example when the printer doesn't have a function she would like, she calls it "gay," or she calls a certain activity "retarded."

How do I kindly bring it to her attention that it's not okay to use these words?
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  • aamb
    aamb Posts: 377 Member
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    i would just take her aside and tell her
  • kjb0976
    kjb0976 Posts: 68
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    Or sick Human Resources on her!
  • igora_soma
    igora_soma Posts: 486
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    I might advise a supervisor of her language and ask them to have a word. My guess is that she probably wouldn't take the confrontation well and I doubt your supervisor would be too happy about her language! Good luck, that must be so irritating!
  • jpierce8806
    jpierce8806 Posts: 44
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    I would either speak to your supervisor about it or just tell her that you find it offensive
  • 00trayn
    00trayn Posts: 1,849 Member
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    I was in that situation once with two of my friends. One of them called something "gay" in a similar context to the girl you work with and my other friend calmly replied "I don't think that's the word you really mean. Don't you mean stupid, or annoying, or frustrating?" And she corrected herself and we moved on. It wasn't confrontational, it just pointed out that calling something gay or retarded in that sense isn't appropriate or accurate.
  • Scentlessapprentice
    Scentlessapprentice Posts: 170 Member
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    I would tell her outright that it's completely unacceptable. That's just me, I'm pretty blunt and to the point :)
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
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    I might advise a supervisor of her language and ask them to have a word. My guess is that she probably wouldn't take the confrontation well and I doubt your supervisor would be too happy about her language! Good luck, that must be so irritating!

    I agree with this. Unless you have a direct role in training/supervising her, it's best to let her supervisor handle it.
  • bloodbank
    bloodbank Posts: 468 Member
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    The next time she does it, respond with "Yeah, that's so (insert name of race here)!" and when she looks at you just say "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were being *kitten*."
  • jamielise2
    jamielise2 Posts: 432 Member
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    You definitely want to pull her aside and do it privately. Explain to her that you know she doesn't mean anythin by it, but those words are hurtful and ask if she can please find another expression. She probably doesn't even realize she's doing it. Like I grew up calling something that had no class or refinement "white trash". I didn't even realize it was racist until I lived on my own.
  • Huffdogg
    Huffdogg Posts: 1,934 Member
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    Anyone that ignorant should really be thrown directly under the HR bus. Hit her with the full force of your company's anti-harassment policy
  • rannman1
    rannman1 Posts: 4
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    I would be blunt with her and tell her. Just because she is young does not mean she does not or should not know better. There have been a whole series of tv spots on not using the word gay as a negative. She missed them I assume. She needs to be educated and told that it is offensive to some people for either word to used like that. I think you can be honest without being harsh. Iam nto sure it wil lbe kindly but she needs to know it is unacceptable.
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
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    tell her straight up you don't like it..don't feel the need to be kind, she obviously doesn't care if she offends others, so be firm..best of luck
  • mya2012
    mya2012 Posts: 18
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    I would tell her that words she use is offensive.
  • therobinator
    therobinator Posts: 832 Member
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    I hesitate to say anything to HR, because she's brand new, and she is a nice person and I like her and don't want to put a black mark on her record. I thought of emailing this link to her with a lilttle note that I thought it was something she should watch. But I don't know if this is the right approach.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T549VoLca_Q
  • JMM_623_
    JMM_623_ Posts: 68 Member
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    http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2010/03/03/Campaign-against-retard-enjoys-success/UPI-89761267640747/ (use of the word retard)

    http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/ (the use of the word "gay")

    Kindly forward her some educational information. Hopefully she'll both expand her vocabulary and learn something new :)
  • wannabthin4life
    wannabthin4life Posts: 30
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    Sometimes people don't know something is offensive unless we let them know. Tragically I used to use the word retarded a lot to explain something that was not working right and when someone pulled me aside and told me it offended them and could offend others I understood and felt bad about saying it. now I just say that's Lame! I would not run to HR and turn her in unless u have spoken with her before and it did not work or she was actually calling u those names. I would start by pulling her to the side if that does not work then speak to your supervisor or HR then.
  • TaekwondoRobbie
    TaekwondoRobbie Posts: 18
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    Hi :

    I have been an office manager for 20 years and I have had similiar situations with staff. Take her aside -- in private ... and mention to her in a professional manner that is not acceptable speak for an office or workplace environment. Taking a professional approach on your part should instill a sense of professionalism in her.

    Some people use these vulgar terms very flippantly in their everyday speech and dont even realize their meaning or what they are truly saying in their useage of them. I am sure if you make her aware of it ... it should fix the problem.

    Rob
  • thecanface
    thecanface Posts: 1,180 Member
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    i am in HR , you should bring it to her attention first and if she doesnt agree with you, or purposely continues to do it then call a manager, if you are her manager let you manager. you have to realize that once you get in a habit it is hard to stop saying a certain word so i wouldn't attack her with HR, because if she doesnt realize she is saying it that is sort of harsh. once you mention it she will be more aware.
  • new_me_9_67
    new_me_9_67 Posts: 369 Member
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    I think it's best not to confront her yourself. Bring it up to HR and they can take it from there.
    It's not worth it to put yourself in a position where you might be reprimanded for speaking with her if you are not her supervisor.
  • Aesop101
    Aesop101 Posts: 758 Member
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    Her immaturity is showing. By now she should have moved on to WTF and Bastage! Only kidding

    Okay, we need an interpreter. This is retarded (I'm dumb). This is Gay (I'm dumb). Only kidding again.
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