Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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I'm almost 30 pages back but am on yesterday's posts... you people be posting like crazy!
@orangesmartie Keep your chin up, you are an amazing, strong, courageous and special woman. You can handle whatever life throws at you. Keep in mind that your meds will make all of what you are going through easier, and take them. Charlie is so lucky to have you. Hope your mom is doing well. Talk to your boyfriend, I am sure nothing is as bad as what you are imagining. (where does your girlfriend fit into all of this chaos? are things good there?) Hang in there, it will get better.
I must say that when one of you are having a hard time in life it makes me sad, like you are my family. Strange this bond we have over the internet, isn't it?0 -
And so it begins... My dad and step-mother are taking me out for a birthday dinner tonight. I have started logging what I suspect I will be eating. Fried chicken. This place has the best fried chicken but the calories are off the charts. I have been doing really well for the past 70 day, not once over maintenance. I really don't want to blow it this weekend just because it is my birthday. I just don't see how I'll be able to resist.
I am seriously considering telling them I am too sick to go.
Isn't that the perfect reason to "blow it"?! Go out, have fun. Enjoy other people paying for your food.
Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
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Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly?
He's old enough to drive? If so, he's old enough to be responsible for his own schedule. Just my humble! Don't fret, all of us do something as parents that we think were disasters. Now that my kids are in their 40's, I look back at what I thought were major mistakes and realize I was blowing those all out of proportion.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »If I had packed anything else to eat, this frickin' hard boiled egg that will not peel would be in the garbage right now! I confess I am irrationally angry at an inanimate object.
An ice bath after cooking can help with the peeling process. I understand the frustration. I hate it when the eggs don't peel right!
And you gotta peel 'em right away! I never have any success if I leave them in the shell for any length of time.
OK. I'm confused now. I cooked two. One wouldn't peel for nothing and the other one peeled fine. I think I got a defective egg.
I will admit there are times I get an egg that is just obstinate and will not peel correctly. I hate losing any of the darn thing because it is stuck to the shell. I have used the baking soda in the water, ice bath and those seem to help some, about the only thing I have not tried is cooking them in the oven. That just doesn't seem to make sense to me.
In my experience, boiling the egg even just a little bit too long makes them refuse to peel. If I have one egg that's smaller than the others and I boil it with them, it won't want to peel and the others will be fine, because I boiled to long for the size of the egg. I always try to boil eggs of a similar size together, and avoid overcooking at ALL COSTS. I rarely get eggs that won't peel this way, and I don't need to do anything to the water.
I generally peel them as soon as they've cooled, then keep them in a container in the fridge unpeeled so I can just grab as needed--they tend to be harder to peel if you boil in advance and then leave them in the shell in the fridge for a while.0 -
Special needs kid. Not good at organising himself. Trusts his useless mother to do it for him.quiksylver296 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »
And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly?
Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?
I kinda thought that, too. (But not judging!)
I called the school and he did get there in time. So he wasn't prepared, but at least he's there.
His mother isn't useless. She may mess up, but she's still SUPER GREAT.
Don't be too hard on yourself! 0 -
CountessKitteh wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Confession: I stayed up later than my husband last night because I needed to exercise. I had planned to go in and snuggle with him after, but when I got there the cat was in my spot and I ended up cuddling the cat instead while reading my book. Wife fail.
But kitty mama win!
Agreed! Kitty mama win!! Kitties need cuddling, too!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »In the interest of staying on track on this thread...
Confession: I have gained 16 pounds since I started this job in November. Granted it's a desk job, and I came from a fairly active job where I was on my feet a lot. This morning I was down two pounds from my current highest weight. However, my MFP weight is still lower than where I am currently, so I can't log the loss. And that makes me a little sad.
I have also been working SL 5X5s since November. I'm starting to feel strong! Last night I did 190 lbs on my squat, tried for 75 pounds on my OHP (but couldn't finish all my reps on the last set), and 215 on my deadlift. Lost my grip on the last deadlift. I think I need some deadlifting gloves to help my grip. I am going to be trying 120 pounds on my bench press tomorrow night, and 105 on my rows. I
lifting!
You're freaking awesome! Have you lost any in measurements?0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »If I had packed anything else to eat, this frickin' hard boiled egg that will not peel would be in the garbage right now! I confess I am irrationally angry at an inanimate object.
I hate when that happens. Seriously - I had a batch of them that just would not peel - I had to use a knife and a spoon and it ticked me off.
I solved that problem by peeling them as soon as they are cooled and wrapping them individually in plastic wrap. I can do enough for a few days at a time. No muss, no fuss. I do have to blot them dry after I unwrap them...they get a little damp...probably from condensation from being refrigerated. Never had one spoil using this approach.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »When I worked as a youth counselor at a wilderness boarding school we sometimes had rice with sugar and butter for breakfast and the girls called it "Poor boy cereal"..I was not a fan personally.
You people putting sugar on your rice are monsters.
Confession: There were times when I was super broke where rice with barbecue sauce was dinner. Still would.
As a broke newlywed, I made Hamburger Helper without any hamburger or milk. Blech. Gosh, that was 1996. I haven't bought Hamburger Helper in at least 14(?) years. The thought of eating it now....disgusting.
As a broke kid, we ate tuna and rice for at least one year non-stop, because my mom couldn't afford to feed us anything else. I still pretty much hate tuna and rice.
Then, when we had a slight step up, it progressed to macaroni covered in Chicken Tonight sauce, with not a chicken bit in sight. Every. Single. Day. Just thinking about that horrible combination still makes me sick. That stuff was not made to be put on macaroni!
This happened when I was a kid and my Dad lost his job. My mom made chicken for every meal (I guess chicken was cheap?). After months of eating chicken, I couldn't stand it. When I still ate meat, I NEVER ate chicken. I was done.0 -
@MoHousdon Ahhh a new ring!? Yayy!! I bet he has awesome taste, I can't wait to see pictures if that's the route he goes
He was talking spending major bucks on a new one, I'm talking in the double digit $1000's. I hope he doesn't go way overboard, but I would love a nice big rock on a pretty band. Right now, I'm sporting a 1/4 ct gold band (that he purchased from a pawn shop because it's all he could afford at the time) with a wrap that he got on clearance 10 years ago. It's definitely time for an upgrade. I will DEFINITELY post pics if I get one.
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pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Today is my second day in a row that I haven't binged. I hope to stop binging & maybe I'll set a reward system like I did with weight loss. Before I started binging I was around 153 now I'm up to about 160 which was what my original goal weight was going to be anyway, but I would like to eventually lose a little more. For right now I am going to set my calories around 1973 & try to eat around that amount everyday but if I go over some days I am NOT going to BEAT myself up & try to make up for it in another day.
Last night I confessed I was hungry at 11:33 & wasn't going to eat anything but decided to eat a Quest bar, because I hate going to bed hungry.
I also ordered New Rules Of Lifting For Women on Amazon & hope to get it soon.
You can do this! I think I'm getting better at sticking to my own calorie goal by taking all the restricted foods I was hiding from and throwing that label out of the window. I honestly feel MUCH less like baking all the foods, eating all the foods, and drowning my sorrows in more of the food when I have it all sitting right there in my fridge, just being food.
As I told my husband yesterday: I messed up big time because I was tired, and whether I had those foods in my fridge or not, the outcome would have been exactly the same--just because I was able to make cookies (and proceed to eat too many of them) doesn't change the fact that I would have pigged out on anything else that was available if I didn't have cookie ingredients available, for example.
And you know what's really awesome? Normally I would have made the cookies, eaten ALL the cookies, and then gobbled down the remaining chocolate chips. This time, yes, I ate too many of them (7), but I then put the rest away into the freezer, and I didn't even feel the urge to touch the chocolate chips because "those are for baking". Since I can bake whenever I want, I don't need to get them out of the house by eating them just so I don't mess up tomorrow.
Does that make sense? My husband had a really hard time understanding my feeling of making progress when I had blown my calorie goal so badly, but I told him that you guys (and anyone else with disordered food issues or weight issues) would understand it.
Baby steps! That is what this 'journey' is all about. (Sorry to those of you who cringe at the word 'journey'. It was too apropos )
Why do people cringe at the term journey? I have never understood that?
Same reason they cringe at 'moist,' I suppose. I don't get it, either.0 -
And so it begins... My dad and step-mother are taking me out for a birthday dinner tonight. I have started logging what I suspect I will be eating. Fried chicken. This place has the best fried chicken but the calories are off the charts. I have been doing really well for the past 70 day, not once over maintenance. I really don't want to blow it this weekend just because it is my birthday. I just don't see how I'll be able to resist.
I am seriously considering telling them I am too sick to go.
Obviously do what is best for you, but I think going over maintenance for a special occasion is totally worth it. If you know it will snowball, then yes, absolutely avoid it. But...if the chicken is worth it, it's worth it! Enjoy the weekend, and then get back to it on Monday.
Happy birthday!0 -
I'm almost 30 pages back but am on yesterday's posts... you people be posting like crazy!
@orangesmartie Keep your chin up, you are an amazing, strong, courageous and special woman. You can handle whatever life throws at you. Keep in mind that your meds will make all of what you are going through easier, and take them. Charlie is so lucky to have you. Hope your mom is doing well. Talk to your boyfriend, I am sure nothing is as bad as what you are imagining. (where does your girlfriend fit into all of this chaos? are things good there?) Hang in there, it will get better.
I must say that when one of you are having a hard time in life it makes me sad, like you are my family. Strange this bond we have over the internet, isn't it?
I completely agree- it makes my heart sad when any of you guys is hurting
And I've never met any of y'all but I feel so close to everyone! 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Today is my second day in a row that I haven't binged. I hope to stop binging & maybe I'll set a reward system like I did with weight loss. Before I started binging I was around 153 now I'm up to about 160 which was what my original goal weight was going to be anyway, but I would like to eventually lose a little more. For right now I am going to set my calories around 1973 & try to eat around that amount everyday but if I go over some days I am NOT going to BEAT myself up & try to make up for it in another day.
Last night I confessed I was hungry at 11:33 & wasn't going to eat anything but decided to eat a Quest bar, because I hate going to bed hungry.
I also ordered New Rules Of Lifting For Women on Amazon & hope to get it soon.
You can do this! I think I'm getting better at sticking to my own calorie goal by taking all the restricted foods I was hiding from and throwing that label out of the window. I honestly feel MUCH less like baking all the foods, eating all the foods, and drowning my sorrows in more of the food when I have it all sitting right there in my fridge, just being food.
As I told my husband yesterday: I messed up big time because I was tired, and whether I had those foods in my fridge or not, the outcome would have been exactly the same--just because I was able to make cookies (and proceed to eat too many of them) doesn't change the fact that I would have pigged out on anything else that was available if I didn't have cookie ingredients available, for example.
And you know what's really awesome? Normally I would have made the cookies, eaten ALL the cookies, and then gobbled down the remaining chocolate chips. This time, yes, I ate too many of them (7), but I then put the rest away into the freezer, and I didn't even feel the urge to touch the chocolate chips because "those are for baking". Since I can bake whenever I want, I don't need to get them out of the house by eating them just so I don't mess up tomorrow.
Does that make sense? My husband had a really hard time understanding my feeling of making progress when I had blown my calorie goal so badly, but I told him that you guys (and anyone else with disordered food issues or weight issues) would understand it.
Baby steps! That is what this 'journey' is all about. (Sorry to those of you who cringe at the word 'journey'. It was too apropos )
Why do people cringe at the term journey? I have never understood that?
I don't either, I wasn't aware that people didn't like that word?0 -
Fitness related confession: I attempted to do my HIIT workout last night, and by attempt, I mean, I made 2 rather pathetic rounds skipping some exercises as to not injure myself further. I think I actually DID injure myself further. My ankle was really swollen last night and my leg was really sore. I really hate that I got hurt so close to my vacation and I can't do a proper workout because of it.
Non-fitness related confession: My husband FINALLY messaged his daughter (actually, she messaged him after my request yesterday [small victory?]) and she is coming by Saturday because he told her he wants to talk to her in person. I am glad he finally did this and I hope he doesn't chicken out and lays down the law with her. I'm not sure if I will be present or not because I told my daughter I'd take her Father's Day shopping Saturday and I also have an eye appointment to get my trial contacts checked. A part of me wants to be there to support him, but a part of me knows me, and fears I might say something I'll regret. Not sure which part of me will win yet. Positive thoughts are appreciated.
On a related note, when I got home last night, I noticed her cat has managed to tear about a 4" hole in my carpet in the doorway of the room she's staying in. I was so irate that I started screaming at this stupid cat and telling her I hate her and she's got to leave. She didn't understand what I was saying and I am sure she didn't care because she proceeded to tear at the carpet once the door was closed again.
Unrelated but relevant to something I mentioned yesterday: I asked my husband about whether or not we're going to exchange anniversary presents and he said he thought we'd just do some shopping for each other while we're down there. I am on board with this idea especially since I already have an idea of what I want to buy him. He also mentioned that what he wanted to get me we couldn't afford but could make payments on it. I told him I didn't want any more payments and he said not even for a ring?! I love that man!
Sorry so long, but I had a lot to say.
tl;dr: I hurt myself working out, stepdaughter's supposed to talk to husband Saturday, and I may be getting a new ring.
Sorry you hurt yourself more! I'm not even hurt that bad and it already sucks, so I can only imagine.
I hope your stepdaughter actually shows up on Saturday... and you figure out the cat situation.
Confession - going to try really hard to stay away from the sweets in the house today, but I'm allowing myself some instant pudding mix in my yogurt. Hoping I can keep a bigger deficit today to make up for yesterday. I just don't understand why some days moderation is so easy and some days I just want all the carbs. I just wish I knew for sure what kind of day it was going to be so I knew if it was safe to have a piece of chocolate or not...
I still don't really feel like eating anything so I had grilled chicken and veggies for lunch, and it was very boring.
Thanks, me too, and me too.
I'm actually craving chicken and veggies, but I have neither, so I will just eat my sad little turkey and cream cheese wrap and apple.
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pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »In the interest of staying on track on this thread...
Confession: I have gained 16 pounds since I started this job in November. Granted it's a desk job, and I came from a fairly active job where I was on my feet a lot. This morning I was down two pounds from my current highest weight. However, my MFP weight is still lower than where I am currently, so I can't log the loss. And that makes me a little sad.
I have also been working SL 5X5s since November. I'm starting to feel strong! Last night I did 190 lbs on my squat, tried for 75 pounds on my OHP (but couldn't finish all my reps on the last set), and 215 on my deadlift. Lost my grip on the last deadlift. I think I need some deadlifting gloves to help my grip. I am going to be trying 120 pounds on my bench press tomorrow night, and 105 on my rows. I lifting!
What is SL 5X5s? Other people have mentioned it and I have never heard of it?
Stronglifts 5X5. There's a website and an app, if you want to check it out. Not promoting anything!
stronglifts.com0 -
Wow... finally caught up and it's time for lunch and my bike ride home. I'm sure there will be 100+ more to read by the time I get back.0
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I am ready to give up entirely. Having a cruddy day, cruddy week, and cannot seem to find my control again0
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MissLaaber wrote: »Confession: I've been such a horrible depression cycle for the past two weeks, work and life is just weighing me down. I rage quit my job yesterday but now I'm here, I love my job but my mental health right now isn't supportive of the job. I'm now stuck between do I stay and wait it out (mental healthwise) or do I stay and look to move on asap?
I'm confused. Did you quit or not?0 -
CountessKitteh wrote: »
And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly?
Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?
I was thinking the same thing...
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