Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

noaddedsugarx wrote: »

Hey guys. Haven't really been on here but I logged on on my laptop for the first time in a while and noticed I had a few notifications just wondering how things are so I thought I would check in. Thank you for thinking of me! It's been a tough couple of weeks.

My Grandma is still in hospital. As they said the bruising on her brain caused it to swell. In the first few days she was opening her eyes and acknowledging when we were there by making sounds but then it stopped and she kind of drifted. The pressure on her brain has caused her to have confirmed brain damage on the left side but no one knows how this will affect her yet. They were trying to find out why she was become less alert and her temperature was spiking and they discovered she has pneumonia which she's on antibiotics for now. They are wanting her to have an operation to relieve some of the pressure but have to wait until any signs of infection have gone - also she's an anesthetic risk.

She had two lumbar punctures to drain some of the fluid on her brain over the weekend and when I went to see her today she seemed to have improved. She was opening her eyes, although not really focusing but I could tell she knew I was there. Still unable to talk though. Just hoping she gets well enough for this operation and then shows some further improvement.

The whole situation is so heart-breaking. I've spent every day with my Grandma for so long I hate seeing her like this so much. But it's just a waiting game and I have to try and stay positive.

Anyway like I said it's just a bit of an update and now I'm probably gonna go 'poof' again for a little while but I can't wait to come back and catch up on this thread soon as I do miss it. I've caught up on a months worth of posts before so I'm sure I can do it again haha

riderfangal wrote: »

I finally broke that 40lb loss goal today. I was stuck at 39 for what felt like forever but this morning down 2.5. I was happy I nearly cried. Over half way to my goal of 80

Italian_Buju wrote: »

Tubbs216 wrote: »

riderfangal wrote: »

kellienw335 wrote: »

nonoelmo wrote: »

I am on p 992. Here is my most embarrasing (or perhaps a tie) moment.

My most embarrassing moment.

Too funny! Breastfeeding, for me, was always uncomfortable. My son, the first kiddo, never took to it which was probably in part due to the fact that I wasn't that excited about it. I joked at the time that he was the first male to ever refuse...my chest area. LOL! I did BF, mostly pumped because I'm OCD, my daughter, the second and last kiddo, for about six months. I justified BF'd her because she had to go to daycare at six weeks while I was able to stay home with my son for the first eight months.

I didn't breast feed my son and sometimes I feel guilty about that especially because he was premature.

Motherhood is one long series of guilt, in my experience. We just all do our best and hope for the best. Usually things turn out ok.

THIS so much!

WestCoastJo82 wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

While I am not Susie I am quite proud of my first effort in my new kitchen (which was finished in Jan but hey...it's never too late to turn on your new oven, right?).

I don't cook very often as you can infer.

Sorry I missed 1000.

That looks awesome - and I am so jealous of your new kitchen. That cooktop is gorgeous so I'm sure the oven is great too

Italian_Buju wrote: »

BZAH10 wrote: »

riderfangal wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

BZAH10 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

Glinda1971 wrote: »

AngryViking1970 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.


Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!

Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.

From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.

My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.


Now for stepdaughter news.

She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.

I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!

I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!

TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.

Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.

+1

A mix of yays and hugs for you.

Thanks!

kellienw335 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.

TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.

That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)

He wanted to be, we both did.

When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.

In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.

He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.

Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.

There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.

Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.

I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.

As a single mom I wish my son had a dad that gave a s*** like your husband does. My ex didn't he even bother answering the phone when my son called to wish him a Happy Fathers Day. He texted me later that it was because he got so drunk and passed out in his front yard that his neighbour called 911 because they thought he was dead.

Wow. I can't decide what's worse: that he actually DID this or that he so readily admitted it! Yikes. I am very sorry for you and your son having to deal with this, but it's best that there's no contact at all.

Can you imagine if he had your son for days or overnights the worry you would have not knowing if he was drinking or not?! This is definitely a case of, be grateful for whatever you can in a bad situation.

I have a friend that went through this when her boys were young.....she stopped contact when he fell asleep drunk while cooking and burned the house down while the boys were there.....thankfully they made it out ok or she would have never gotten over it.....

MoHousdon wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

LBuehrle8 wrote: »

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

berlynnwall wrote: »

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

AngryViking1970 wrote: »

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

misskarne wrote: »

I know you hate people apologising for asking you questions, @Susieq_1994, but I only do because I feel like that stereotypical ignorant privileged white girl, and I don't want to offend.

So...there is that - robe, I'm sorry, I don't know the word for it - the long black one with the head and face covering. But it gets to 60C in Oman, right? So, um...how do the women not die of heatstroke?

That's alright, it doesn't offend me!

It's called an abaya, and most of them don't cover the head or face--They're basically just black dresses. I wear one myself. The headscarf and niqab (face covering) are all separate pieces. There is one that has a head covering attached as well, but these are mostly worn by older ladies, as it's just an older style.

That said, I wear the abaya and headscarf. I don't find it hot, personally--I actually find it cooler than when I wear "regular" clothing like skirts and blouses because the abaya tends to be very lightweight. It's also because I've been covering for a very long time--If I didn't cover, I'd probably feel hotter due to the sun burning my skin!

My sister wears a niqab, and according to her, it did feel very hot in the first week, but she says it doesn't feel like that anymore now that she's used to it.

Just an add-on: The abaya isn't a must, Islamically. Women are encouraged not to wear very bright colors for the purpose of attracting men (yes, men have a rule that involves not attracting women--it isn't a sexist rule), but you're allowed to wear whatever color you like, as long as you're covered properly.

I prefer the abaya in Saudi Arabia because everyone wears it (I've seen like... two people so far that didn't... Even the non-Muslims wear it!) and I just don't want to stand out. In Oman, I often wear regular colored dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. Unless I'm lazy. Because the abaya is really easy to just throw on and be done.

Can I ask some follow ups? You say your sister wears a niqab; was that something she decided to do as an adult? And how did she come to that decision? And are you wearing your regular clothes under the abaya? Or is it like a "dress".

Thanks for educating me!

Yes, she decided to start wearing it two years ago. Nobody else in our family wears it and she's unmarried, so nobody influenced her in that decision--in Islam there are some scholars (I refuse to count the Sheikh Google people...) who believe the niqab is obligatory, and others who believe it is simply recommended based on evidence from the Qur'an and hadith. After doing some studying, my sister chose to go with the scholars who believe it's obligatory, and began covering her face from then on.

You do have to wear clothing under an abaya--it's basically a cover, but the material is too thin to wear with nothing but underwear underneath, for example. I usually wear jeans and a tank top underneath it--since we have to remain covered, it's best to have your legs covered in case the wind blows it up, for example. But I would wear the same under a dress, actually, although I would probably wear cotton pants underneath in that case.

Oh, can I ask if you have one of these? I've always wondered if it was hard to swim in the modest suits, because of the extra fabric:

Nope, I don't own one--those suits actually don't meet the fardh (obligatory) requirements for modest clothing for women, especially because they cling when they're wet, and the shape of the body is revealed, which is the major requirement of covering.

If I'm going to swim, I swim in an all-women's facility with a modest swimsuit (even women aren't supposed to reveal nakedness to other women) or just jump into the ocean fully clothed because that's fun.

Am I the only one who loves being naked? I don't know why but I do! Could be because ( I know I say this a lot but it's true) I really have no shame...haters going to hate!

I hate being naked. I hate skin touching skin. And I totally hate when running any part of my body touching any other part. I tried running in a sports bra ONCE. Never again. Yes I am a prude (I believe I have said this before).

I hate being naked too. Even in the shower. I get dressed as soon as humanly possible. I put on undies right after a shower.

Hmm not being naked in the shower might be hard...but I dress immediately as well. Or put a robe on. I don't like to be without undies either.

Is it T-8 now? Or 7?

I know it's impossible to be unnaked in the shower, but I get in and get out with the quickness.

Yesterday was T-7 but now, it's T-6 or 5 depending on when you're reading this.

T-5 you must be so excited! I hope you and the hubby have everything all straightened out so you can just enjoy yourselves!

I assume you know I was kidding on the shower (is hard to tell sometimes in this forum and I don't want you thinking I was being sarcastic).

Because I'm so incredibly sarcastic, I just assume everyone is too. No worries.

We are VERY excited and cannot wait. I will elaborate on this later.

spamarie wrote: »

trvlpk wrote: »

I don't know how to eat "healthy" and do not know what good nutrition means. Also, I am a compulsive overeater/food addict that is finding it very hard to find recovery.

I think others have given you advice on what is 'healthy' and if not, you can find that on the internet pretty easily.

My two cents are, if you're at the very beginning, my advice would be to pick one thing to change, get that down for a couple of weeks, then pick another. It's hard to change everything at once. For example, you could cut down (or cut out) sugary soda one month. Then aim to eat more vegetables the next. Or drink more water. Or switch to wholegrains, or lean meat, or any number of things a doctor would advise you do. I found it much less overwhelming to tackle these things one at a time. I still find certain aspects difficult, but other habits have become so second nature I don't even need to think about it. Good luck to you.

pofoster21 wrote: »

WestCoastJo82 wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

While I am not Susie I am quite proud of my first effort in my new kitchen (which was finished in Jan but hey...it's never too late to turn on your new oven, right?).

I don't cook very often as you can infer.

Sorry I missed 1000.

That looks awesome - and I am so jealous of your new kitchen. That cooktop is gorgeous so I'm sure the oven is great too

Thanks! I will post pics of my redone bathroom tomorrow. Before and after. I almost didn't buy this condo because of how gross they were and then it took me 9 years to get around to redoing them. I just couldn't stand it anymore. I LOVE my new ones!

WestCoastJo82 wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »

Francl27 wrote: »

kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »

LBuehrle8 wrote: »

quiksylver296 wrote: »

This one is pretty awesome...it should be a Friday thread.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10193742/why-am-i-gaining-weight/p2

This one just aggravated me! I don't understand why people are so against using a food scale?! I get not using one if you're having success without it but I LOVE knowing exactly how much of something I'm eating. I was losing before I started using one but I bought one because I really wanted to know EXACTLY how much I was eating each day!

Exactly. If I didn't use my food scale I'm pretty sure I'd still be around 250 pounds.

I pretty much weigh everything except for yogurt cups like Chobani, Dannon, or Yoplait.

Some of my protein bars/fiber bars can be 15-30+ calorie higher than they should & if you're at a smaller deficit with not much to lose it can hinder your progress greatly if you're off on everything you're eating. I also use it to weigh stuff like cereal, ice cream, & peanut butter since it's so easy to overestimate what a serving is. The first time I weighed out cereal on my food scale I thought what a ripoff & then put two more servings in the bowl:D. There are times I am shocked at how big a serving of peanut butter is, but if it's something like Cookie Spread or Nutella then again I am like what a ripoff.

I'll admit I've even weighed & measured one chip or cracker which I did today with my Triscuit cracker today.

At least I am not as OCD as the lady who takes her food scale to the grocery store.

I don't get people who use cups but think a food scale is too OCD either. It's easier, less dishes, and more accurate, so it just puzzles me. Plus it helps with eyeballing skills as at least you know what a 'cup' of broccoli is actually supposed to look like.

And packaged goods... gosh. Just my shortcake yesterday was 50 more calories than what the package said. Those delicious Graze flapjacks? I had one that was 80 more calories. It really adds up when your deficit is small...

What gets to me though is people who don't weigh their food then complain that their TDEE is so low. It's really not... they're just eating more than they think. I have some friends on here who have about the same stats as me, about the same activity, but maintain 400 calories lower. So either I'm a special snowflake, or they're really clueless about food portion.

But I guess if you keep a bigger deficit or underestimate your TDEE and don't weigh your food, it works too. People just have to find something that works with them. Me, I like having as much information as I can, because my relationship with food is pretty unhealthy in the first place (or I wouldn't be here!).

The funny thing though is that even when I know that I weighed all my foods, on days like today when I'm so full after 1200 calories (don't get me wrong, I still found things to get to my 1800 calories), I can't help wondering if I did something wrong.

A lot of people; unfortunately, still think they have to eat 1,200 calories or less to lose weight which is just sad. Think about how many people post on here routinely saying they can't eat over 1,000 calories & have a 100+ pounds to lose. Most of the times in that case they aren't weighing their food on a food scale & are vastly eating over their calories & possibly maintenance.

Just look at health magazines & the bogus diets & claims they offer such as Women's World. Women's World a few weeks ago had a cover that said lose 30 pounds in 30 days. Yeah lose 30 pounds in 30 days & then gain 60 pounds back.

Usually with my Fitbit (I find it to be pretty reliable) I burn anywhere from 2100-2300 calories a day; occasionally, a little more if I am more active with exercise.

I always laugh at the fact that I can weigh something & then one minute later I find I forget how much it weighed & then just overestimate how much it was.

Can I ask what you are doing to burn that many calories? That seems like a lot.

You weren't asking me, but those are my numbers too. I'm 5'5 130-135, and average 12-15k steps a day, so moderately active. Some days that's all walking, some days it includes weightlifting (SL 5x5 3ish days a week), some days it includes playing rec soccer or taking Wilbur on a run.