Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »
First time thing. Sigh. Oh well.
Anyway, I hope you all have a good weekend!
Wasn't this the day you were supposed to have the "talk"? Or am I completely wrong
Yes, he decided he was too tired to come over which caused another fight. We did end up talking Saturday. I'm going to try to work things out but I'm still torn. I want to try therapy and then if nothing changes, I'm done.
My heart physically hurts because I want to stay but yet leave. When things are good they are wonderful but I don't know if I can forgive, forget and trust again. That's why I want to try therapy first.
Now to catch up with the rest of the thread.
Can I ask a question, I apologise if it's intrusive. I'm guessing from some of the things you've said you live apart? But you said you've been together 11 years. Is moving in together something you've discussed? And if so what has stopped you?
Sorry I just saw this. Yea we live apart. We stay together (or used to-not so much now) a lot though. We had planned on moving in together but things keep getting in the way. I seriously think he is someone who doesn't want to make a serious commitment. That is one reason why I don't think this will work either way.
It sucks that I'm so in love with someone that I will probably have to leave someday. I just don't know how I'm going to get through everything.
That just breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you've invested so much time in someone that doesn't seem to feel the same way. That really sucks. I wish you all the best because you deserve to be happy regardless if that's with or without someone else. Hugs to you, friend.
Thank you. He was a no show again last night (after he told me he would try to make me a priority...that shows me how important I am). I think he is done.
I have been reading and reading hoping to get back to this before I have to leave for the barn (I prefer to respond to the original posts so people can see what I am responding to and I don't repeat) but... Get rid of him. Don't 'think' he is done. Be done. This is a clear sign, and even if its not, anyone that inconsiderate needs to be removed from your life. I decided a long time time ago that if people aren't adding to your life, they should be removed. You are clearly a wonderful person, you will find the right one eventually, but you deserve better than this.
Adding my hugs. Keep posting we are are here for you!
Thank you. I'm working on this.0 -
This morning is my kids' last morning of school... I'm not too happy about it. Less stressed than last year though... but still. I'm sorely going to miss my alone time. I'm not working out this morning so I can enjoy it (still got to run to the store though) but I'll take the kids to the gym this afternoon to keep them busy. I foresee a lot of time spent on the treadmill in the next 3 months.
I confess that I haven't touched my weights for 3 days and I really don't want to...
What kinds of activities do they get to do at the gym? Growing up we belonged to a gym and basically spent almost every summer day with all of our friends at the pool. They had an indoor and outdoor pool with multiple slides. Ah, good memories.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age
) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
You're awesome. I like to think (optimistically) that in my area (which has a lot of new Canadians and also quite a large Islamic Academy private school) we're pretty accepting and knowledgeable about the larger minority groups in our city, but I know it isn't always the case and, speaking for myself, I don't know anyone who grew up in the Middle East (apart from some friends who grew up in expat compounds), so I find your life especially interesting. All my Muslim acquaintances are at least second-generation Canadians so I've never heard much about day-to-day life somewhere like Saudi Arabia or Oman.
Aww, thank you! I hope you're right, but I do doubt that everyone in a particular area is accepting and knowledgeable about Muslims. But I guess finding someone who is from/lives in the Middle East can be a new experience!
I once saw a guy in an online chatroom talking about how he worked in Saudi Arabia and how everyone owned a camel and used them to get to work and school, and everyone lived in tents. I thought it was ridiculously stupid of him to do that--it just promotes making Arabs look like a bunch of backwards weirdos. I don't think he had actually visited the Middle East in his life. -_-
Sounds like something akin to every person from Texas owning a horse and having an oil well in their back yard. I live there and know it isn't true, just the stereotype that gets put out there.
On a similar note, everyone in England has met the Queen and we all have bad teeth. Fact.
Made me think of this:
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shikajitokashi wrote: »confession (i don't mind being judged, though. in fact, i welcome any input)
in short:
i'm beginning to look down on fat people.
in long:
although, even after losing ~10 kilogram (~22 pounds), i'm still overweight myself ... but i feel so much fitter now and i don't doubt that i can reach my goal anymore. so in my mind i'm practically already thin.
judging other fat people while being one of them always felt kinda ok - i was never vocal about it anyway - but now that i'm fulfilling my long kept dream of getting in shape i can see how i judge being overweight more and more as being just lazy. not proud of it but that is what i realized about myself.
... maybe this is comparable to what many smokers told me: that the worst and most proselytizing people aren't non-smokers but past-smokers.
I don't agree with judging others, but do you think this could be due to self-projection? Judging others for either being overweight or smoking because you (general "you") did it and are disappointed in yourself for doing so? Not sure if I'm wording that right and someone else may have already responded to your post. Just a thought that popped into my mind.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »I have a rant today:
I am having a "I hate diabetes' day.....not that I ever love it, but today it is really upsetting me.
This morning I slept in, it was the first day I did not have to get up and make lunch for my son. I came online for a bit and then noticed it was getting late and I had to get to my PT appt. So, I just had some toast for breakfast, LIKE A NORMAL PERSON MIGHT. I got into the shower,, and was so dizzy I nearly fell over. I felt sick for a long while. When I got to the office, I check my blood sugar and it is literally three times what it should be.
Why? Not because I did not take my shot or because I ate too much sugar....but because I did not have enough protein to slow the speed of the carbs in the rye toast (which has a lower GI level, which is why I eat it instead of my beloved "Italian" bread).
I have been sick all day because of that one mistake. It is after 6pm and I have not even been able to eat anything yet and I never made it to the gym. Even though my blood sugar is normal now, the rush high and crash low has made me tired and sick. I have a headache and just want to go to bed....
But, I must go put in the laundry now, and clean the kitchen, and deliver packages for our meeting next week.....UGH
That sounds horrible. Sorry I don't even know what else I can say. I just feel bad that you have to go through stuff like that...
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I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT!quiksylver296 wrote: »I was watching Terminator 2 last night and made an AMAZING epiphany!!! @BZAH10 is Sarah Connor!! I recognize the shoulder!!!
And I think she has the potential to be a bas@ss too.
In my mind, yes. In real life? Well, I try. Sometimes successful, others not so much. Thanks, though!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I know you hate people apologising for asking you questions, @Susieq_1994, but I only do because I feel like that stereotypical ignorant privileged white girl, and I don't want to offend.
So...there is that - robe, I'm sorry, I don't know the word for it - the long black one with the head and face covering. But it gets to 60C in Oman, right? So, um...how do the women not die of heatstroke?
That's alright, it doesn't offend me!
It's called an abaya, and most of them don't cover the head or face--They're basically just black dresses. I wear one myself. The headscarf and niqab (face covering) are all separate pieces. There is one that has a head covering attached as well, but these are mostly worn by older ladies, as it's just an older style.
That said, I wear the abaya and headscarf. I don't find it hot, personally--I actually find it cooler than when I wear "regular" clothing like skirts and blouses because the abaya tends to be very lightweight. It's also because I've been covering for a very long time--If I didn't cover, I'd probably feel hotter due to the sun burning my skin!
My sister wears a niqab, and according to her, it did feel very hot in the first week, but she says it doesn't feel like that anymore now that she's used to it.
Just an add-on: The abaya isn't a must, Islamically. Women are encouraged not to wear very bright colors for the purpose of attracting men (yes, men have a rule that involves not attracting women--it isn't a sexist rule), but you're allowed to wear whatever color you like, as long as you're covered properly.
I prefer the abaya in Saudi Arabia because everyone wears it (I've seen like... two people so far that didn't... Even the non-Muslims wear it!) and I just don't want to stand out. In Oman, I often wear regular colored dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. Unless I'm lazy. Because the abaya is really easy to just throw on and be done.
Can I ask some follow ups? You say your sister wears a niqab; was that something she decided to do as an adult? And how did she come to that decision? And are you wearing your regular clothes under the abaya? Or is it like a "dress".
Thanks for educating me!
Yes, she decided to start wearing it two years ago. Nobody else in our family wears it and she's unmarried, so nobody influenced her in that decision--in Islam there are some scholars (I refuse to count the Sheikh Google people...) who believe the niqab is obligatory, and others who believe it is simply recommended based on evidence from the Qur'an and hadith. After doing some studying, my sister chose to go with the scholars who believe it's obligatory, and began covering her face from then on.
You do have to wear clothing under an abaya--it's basically a cover, but the material is too thin to wear with nothing but underwear underneath, for example. I usually wear jeans and a tank top underneath it--since we have to remain covered, it's best to have your legs covered in case the wind blows it up, for example. But I would wear the same under a dress, actually, although I would probably wear cotton pants underneath in that case.
Oh, can I ask if you have one of these? I've always wondered if it was hard to swim in the modest suits, because of the extra fabric:
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berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
You're awesome. I like to think (optimistically) that in my area (which has a lot of new Canadians and also quite a large Islamic Academy private school) we're pretty accepting and knowledgeable about the larger minority groups in our city, but I know it isn't always the case and, speaking for myself, I don't know anyone who grew up in the Middle East (apart from some friends who grew up in expat compounds), so I find your life especially interesting. All my Muslim acquaintances are at least second-generation Canadians so I've never heard much about day-to-day life somewhere like Saudi Arabia or Oman.
Aww, thank you! I hope you're right, but I do doubt that everyone in a particular area is accepting and knowledgeable about Muslims. But I guess finding someone who is from/lives in the Middle East can be a new experience!
I once saw a guy in an online chatroom talking about how he worked in Saudi Arabia and how everyone owned a camel and used them to get to work and school, and everyone lived in tents. I thought it was ridiculously stupid of him to do that--it just promotes making Arabs look like a bunch of backwards weirdos. I don't think he had actually visited the Middle East in his life. -_-
Sounds like something akin to every person from Texas owning a horse and having an oil well in their back yard. I live there and know it isn't true, just the stereotype that gets put out there.
On a similar note, everyone in England has met the Queen and we all have bad teeth. Fact.
Made me think of this:
Love this! So funny.0 -
kellienw335 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Can I just say how awesome this thread has become?
Yes, it started out about trash bags, peanut butter, and hot chocolate powder, but it has evolved into a community within the MFP community where people actually CARE and SUPPORT one another through stupid decisions, horrible situations, and hilarious escapades.
You all rock. And if I wasn't super lazy, I would finally get around to friend requesting the rest of the regular posters.
Super great.
You're all super great!
Agreed! You're all so incredibly wonderful. And now a certain poster who shall not be named, ( @quiksylver296 did you ever find out who this was) has stopped posting here, it truly IS a safe place.
I didn't, PM me please!
If I have this figured out... I would hint that she "danced" right out of here.
DING DING DING!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!! Your prize is free non-judged confessions for life...or as long as this thread is still alive. CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Ok, now I'm confused. I totally thought it was bun lady. Help me out, @MoHousdon.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I know you hate people apologising for asking you questions, @Susieq_1994, but I only do because I feel like that stereotypical ignorant privileged white girl, and I don't want to offend.
So...there is that - robe, I'm sorry, I don't know the word for it - the long black one with the head and face covering. But it gets to 60C in Oman, right? So, um...how do the women not die of heatstroke?
That's alright, it doesn't offend me!
It's called an abaya, and most of them don't cover the head or face--They're basically just black dresses. I wear one myself. The headscarf and niqab (face covering) are all separate pieces. There is one that has a head covering attached as well, but these are mostly worn by older ladies, as it's just an older style.
That said, I wear the abaya and headscarf. I don't find it hot, personally--I actually find it cooler than when I wear "regular" clothing like skirts and blouses because the abaya tends to be very lightweight. It's also because I've been covering for a very long time--If I didn't cover, I'd probably feel hotter due to the sun burning my skin!
My sister wears a niqab, and according to her, it did feel very hot in the first week, but she says it doesn't feel like that anymore now that she's used to it.
Just an add-on: The abaya isn't a must, Islamically. Women are encouraged not to wear very bright colors for the purpose of attracting men (yes, men have a rule that involves not attracting women--it isn't a sexist rule), but you're allowed to wear whatever color you like, as long as you're covered properly.
I prefer the abaya in Saudi Arabia because everyone wears it (I've seen like... two people so far that didn't... Even the non-Muslims wear it!) and I just don't want to stand out. In Oman, I often wear regular colored dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. Unless I'm lazy. Because the abaya is really easy to just throw on and be done.
Can I ask some follow ups? You say your sister wears a niqab; was that something she decided to do as an adult? And how did she come to that decision? And are you wearing your regular clothes under the abaya? Or is it like a "dress".
Thanks for educating me!
Yes, she decided to start wearing it two years ago. Nobody else in our family wears it and she's unmarried, so nobody influenced her in that decision--in Islam there are some scholars (I refuse to count the Sheikh Google people...) who believe the niqab is obligatory, and others who believe it is simply recommended based on evidence from the Qur'an and hadith. After doing some studying, my sister chose to go with the scholars who believe it's obligatory, and began covering her face from then on.
You do have to wear clothing under an abaya--it's basically a cover, but the material is too thin to wear with nothing but underwear underneath, for example. I usually wear jeans and a tank top underneath it--since we have to remain covered, it's best to have your legs covered in case the wind blows it up, for example. But I would wear the same under a dress, actually, although I would probably wear cotton pants underneath in that case.
Oh, can I ask if you have one of these? I've always wondered if it was hard to swim in the modest suits, because of the extra fabric:
Nope, I don't own one--those suits actually don't meet the fardh (obligatory) requirements for modest clothing for women, especially because they cling when they're wet, and the shape of the body is revealed, which is the major requirement of covering.
If I'm going to swim, I swim in an all-women's facility with a modest swimsuit (even women aren't supposed to reveal nakedness to other women) or just jump into the ocean fully clothed because that's fun. 0 -
Confession: I ordered an awesome pair of purple sunglasses from Versace. They were back ordered and I was impatient and grumpy yesterday so I skipped the gym and went to Sunglass Hut and bought a pair of rose / wine colored Burberry's. Just got notice today the Versace's will be here tomorrow. Whoops. Total impulse buy, but I'm already feeling fabulous in the Burberry's. Can hardly wait to get the Versaces!
I just discovered how much I adore Burberry perfume. I'd love to see your sunglasses. Post a picture?
I don't know how! But, I think I can find a link. Let me look. Ah, these ones in this same color: http://us.burberry.com/oversize-square-frame-sunglasses-p39736581?search=true
But, they were on sale AND I had a $40 off coupon.
EEE I love them!!! You have great taste!0 -
And whichever one of you mentioned 6pm.com the other day is in trouble... I can't stop putting things in my online shopping cart!!0
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kellienw335 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Can I just say how awesome this thread has become?
Yes, it started out about trash bags, peanut butter, and hot chocolate powder, but it has evolved into a community within the MFP community where people actually CARE and SUPPORT one another through stupid decisions, horrible situations, and hilarious escapades.
You all rock. And if I wasn't super lazy, I would finally get around to friend requesting the rest of the regular posters.
Super great.
You're all super great!
Agreed! You're all so incredibly wonderful. And now a certain poster who shall not be named, ( @quiksylver296 did you ever find out who this was) has stopped posting here, it truly IS a safe place.
I didn't, PM me please!
If I have this figured out... I would hint that she "danced" right out of here.
DING DING DING!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!! Your prize is free non-judged confessions for life...or as long as this thread is still alive. CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Ok, now I'm confused. I totally thought it was bun lady. Help me out, @MoHousdon.
I'll PM you.
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overlook237 wrote: »Geographical stereotype: All people who live in Connecticut are rich, go to private schools, and spend their summers hanging with Muffy and Biff down at the yacht club.
Nope. Not even close.
The part of CT where I'm from isn't Martha Stewart's CT. There's not much around here but rundown neighborhoods, bitter angry people, and liquor stores. But hey, it's home
BAHAHAHA I
this so much...because you're right and I feel bad but that's exactly what I think about when people say they're from Conneticut one word comes to mind: WASPS 
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I know you hate people apologising for asking you questions, @Susieq_1994, but I only do because I feel like that stereotypical ignorant privileged white girl, and I don't want to offend.
So...there is that - robe, I'm sorry, I don't know the word for it - the long black one with the head and face covering. But it gets to 60C in Oman, right? So, um...how do the women not die of heatstroke?
That's alright, it doesn't offend me!
It's called an abaya, and most of them don't cover the head or face--They're basically just black dresses. I wear one myself. The headscarf and niqab (face covering) are all separate pieces. There is one that has a head covering attached as well, but these are mostly worn by older ladies, as it's just an older style.
That said, I wear the abaya and headscarf. I don't find it hot, personally--I actually find it cooler than when I wear "regular" clothing like skirts and blouses because the abaya tends to be very lightweight. It's also because I've been covering for a very long time--If I didn't cover, I'd probably feel hotter due to the sun burning my skin!
My sister wears a niqab, and according to her, it did feel very hot in the first week, but she says it doesn't feel like that anymore now that she's used to it.
Just an add-on: The abaya isn't a must, Islamically. Women are encouraged not to wear very bright colors for the purpose of attracting men (yes, men have a rule that involves not attracting women--it isn't a sexist rule), but you're allowed to wear whatever color you like, as long as you're covered properly.
I prefer the abaya in Saudi Arabia because everyone wears it (I've seen like... two people so far that didn't... Even the non-Muslims wear it!) and I just don't want to stand out. In Oman, I often wear regular colored dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. Unless I'm lazy. Because the abaya is really easy to just throw on and be done.
Can I ask some follow ups? You say your sister wears a niqab; was that something she decided to do as an adult? And how did she come to that decision? And are you wearing your regular clothes under the abaya? Or is it like a "dress".
Thanks for educating me!
Yes, she decided to start wearing it two years ago. Nobody else in our family wears it and she's unmarried, so nobody influenced her in that decision--in Islam there are some scholars (I refuse to count the Sheikh Google people...) who believe the niqab is obligatory, and others who believe it is simply recommended based on evidence from the Qur'an and hadith. After doing some studying, my sister chose to go with the scholars who believe it's obligatory, and began covering her face from then on.
You do have to wear clothing under an abaya--it's basically a cover, but the material is too thin to wear with nothing but underwear underneath, for example. I usually wear jeans and a tank top underneath it--since we have to remain covered, it's best to have your legs covered in case the wind blows it up, for example. But I would wear the same under a dress, actually, although I would probably wear cotton pants underneath in that case.
Oh, can I ask if you have one of these? I've always wondered if it was hard to swim in the modest suits, because of the extra fabric:
Nope, I don't own one--those suits actually don't meet the fardh (obligatory) requirements for modest clothing for women, especially because they cling when they're wet, and the shape of the body is revealed, which is the major requirement of covering.
If I'm going to swim, I swim in an all-women's facility with a modest swimsuit (even women aren't supposed to reveal nakedness to other women) or just jump into the ocean fully clothed because that's fun. ;)
Fair enough! Thanks for answering!
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I have a big project I need to do today, but I'm so worried I'm going to miss page 1000, that I CAN'T STAY AWAY!!! I'm pathetic, I know, but I feel like I've missed all the other milestones, so I don't want to miss this huge one!0
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I have a big project I need to do today, but I'm so worried I'm going to miss page 1000, that I CAN'T STAY AWAY!!! I'm pathetic, I know, but I feel like I've missed all the other milestones, so I don't want to miss this huge one!
I think we're all waiting around for page 1000! That's why I'm here this morning! I don't even want to go to lunch! Pathetic right along with you!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I know you hate people apologising for asking you questions, @Susieq_1994, but I only do because I feel like that stereotypical ignorant privileged white girl, and I don't want to offend.
So...there is that - robe, I'm sorry, I don't know the word for it - the long black one with the head and face covering. But it gets to 60C in Oman, right? So, um...how do the women not die of heatstroke?
That's alright, it doesn't offend me!
It's called an abaya, and most of them don't cover the head or face--They're basically just black dresses. I wear one myself. The headscarf and niqab (face covering) are all separate pieces. There is one that has a head covering attached as well, but these are mostly worn by older ladies, as it's just an older style.
That said, I wear the abaya and headscarf. I don't find it hot, personally--I actually find it cooler than when I wear "regular" clothing like skirts and blouses because the abaya tends to be very lightweight. It's also because I've been covering for a very long time--If I didn't cover, I'd probably feel hotter due to the sun burning my skin!
My sister wears a niqab, and according to her, it did feel very hot in the first week, but she says it doesn't feel like that anymore now that she's used to it.
Just an add-on: The abaya isn't a must, Islamically. Women are encouraged not to wear very bright colors for the purpose of attracting men (yes, men have a rule that involves not attracting women--it isn't a sexist rule), but you're allowed to wear whatever color you like, as long as you're covered properly.
I prefer the abaya in Saudi Arabia because everyone wears it (I've seen like... two people so far that didn't... Even the non-Muslims wear it!) and I just don't want to stand out. In Oman, I often wear regular colored dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. Unless I'm lazy. Because the abaya is really easy to just throw on and be done.
Can I ask some follow ups? You say your sister wears a niqab; was that something she decided to do as an adult? And how did she come to that decision? And are you wearing your regular clothes under the abaya? Or is it like a "dress".
Thanks for educating me!
Yes, she decided to start wearing it two years ago. Nobody else in our family wears it and she's unmarried, so nobody influenced her in that decision--in Islam there are some scholars (I refuse to count the Sheikh Google people...) who believe the niqab is obligatory, and others who believe it is simply recommended based on evidence from the Qur'an and hadith. After doing some studying, my sister chose to go with the scholars who believe it's obligatory, and began covering her face from then on.
You do have to wear clothing under an abaya--it's basically a cover, but the material is too thin to wear with nothing but underwear underneath, for example. I usually wear jeans and a tank top underneath it--since we have to remain covered, it's best to have your legs covered in case the wind blows it up, for example. But I would wear the same under a dress, actually, although I would probably wear cotton pants underneath in that case.
Oh, can I ask if you have one of these? I've always wondered if it was hard to swim in the modest suits, because of the extra fabric:
Nope, I don't own one--those suits actually don't meet the fardh (obligatory) requirements for modest clothing for women, especially because they cling when they're wet, and the shape of the body is revealed, which is the major requirement of covering.
If I'm going to swim, I swim in an all-women's facility with a modest swimsuit (even women aren't supposed to reveal nakedness to other women) or just jump into the ocean fully clothed because that's fun.
Am I the only one who loves being naked? I don't know why but I do! Could be because ( I know I say this a lot but it's true) I really have no shame...haters going to hate!0 -
Confession: I ordered an awesome pair of purple sunglasses from Versace. They were back ordered and I was impatient and grumpy yesterday so I skipped the gym and went to Sunglass Hut and bought a pair of rose / wine colored Burberry's. Just got notice today the Versace's will be here tomorrow. Whoops. Total impulse buy, but I'm already feeling fabulous in the Burberry's. Can hardly wait to get the Versaces!
I just discovered how much I adore Burberry perfume. I'd love to see your sunglasses. Post a picture?
I don't know how! But, I think I can find a link. Let me look. Ah, these ones in this same color: http://us.burberry.com/oversize-square-frame-sunglasses-p39736581?search=true
But, they were on sale AND I had a $40 off coupon.
EEE I love them!!! You have great taste!
Thank you! I love them, too. These are the Versace that should be delivered today: http://www.smartbuyglasses.com/designer-sunglasses/Versace/Versace-VE4260-50648H-199004.html0
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