Stuff Fat People Do

123468

Replies

  • delilah122
    delilah122 Posts: 41
    Here's one I had forgotten, having been vegetarian for several years now, but I need to own it so I tell it. I used to keep a bottle of Fabreeze in my car so I could get rid of the food smell. I'm happy to say I've owned my current car for four years and I've never been to a drive-through in it.
  • 1JenMilam
    1JenMilam Posts: 108 Member
    Deep knee squats to get into jeans; Don't forget the friendly water bottle to "help" loosen them up
  • MMieure
    MMieure Posts: 48
    This is a list I wrote for my profile. I figure a lot of it goes with what y'all are talking about!

    Why I want to lose weight

    Feel sexy for my hubby

    Take shower with hubby

    Paint my toes and breathe at the same time

    Walk up the stairs and not feel like I am going to pass out

    Feel more graceful

    Feel more feminine

    Go to an office party with my hubby and not feel like the fattest person in the room

    Go to the movies and not feel like I am squeezed into the seat

    Fly without feeling like I am taking up more then my share of space

    Wear a skirt without feeling that disgusting slimy/sticky feeling of my thighs rubbing

    Not wear out the crotch of my pants from my thighs rubbing

    Be the "Hot Mom"

    Not duck when a camera points in my direction

    Jump from rock to rock as we play at the river

    Sit in an inner tube at the river and not feel like they have to rub butter on it to get me out

    Be able to shop anywhere and not just Lame Giant

    Not have to lick my finger to get my rings on/off

    Wear a necklace without that stupid extender that always gets turned to the front

    Walk down stairs without my knees groaning

    Go out with my hubby because I want to not because I have to

    Wear cloths because they are cute not because they cover up my belly/butt

    Wear a swimsuit without a skirt attached

    Clothing will take up less space in a suitcase

    Shopping will be fun and not a chore

    Not look the other way when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror/Window

    Stop hiding behind pillows on the couch

    See my bikini area to shave it
  • Lo2101
    Lo2101 Posts: 8
    Bump
  • smitchell37
    smitchell37 Posts: 121 Member
    I was thinking the same thing about the jeans stretches. Now I'm wondering if we should log those as exercise, then eat the calories back? LOl
    HAHA Love it!!!!
  • graysmom2005
    graysmom2005 Posts: 1,882 Member
    I would do this with CANDY. I would buy it at Target while shopping, and murder it in the car...throw the evidence away. Yes!!
  • ratkins811
    ratkins811 Posts: 190 Member
    these are so funny... I am so happy I am not the only one doing some of this tricks. .lol
  • Calidaho
    Calidaho Posts: 110 Member
    My hubby and I will sometimes take a wet tee shirt or polo and each take a side and stretch the ****ens out of it before hanging it up to dry.

    Okay, off topic but it is hilarious that the auto censor blanked out the first four words of my old lady word. It is also the last name of Charles, the author of Oliver Twist and A Christmas Carol.
  • marie_2454
    marie_2454 Posts: 881 Member
    Haha awesome. Very similar to my jeans-stretching: Put on jeans, then do some squats and lunges to loosen them up. Though I haven't had to do that in a while!! :D Something must be working, hahah.

    hahahaha I totally do that too!
  • grimnir
    grimnir Posts: 61 Member
    I did a lot of this stuff.

    In middle school, I'd wear sweatpants so I wouldn't have to change for gym. I would be teased mercilessly regardless. Being laughed at when you take off your clothes is uncool.

    I've blown out the crotches of many, many pairs of pants, including a pair of nearly new jeans just recently. I squatted, and it couldn't take the pressure. Boom. I haven't had the same problem with rubbing the thighs to death, but I did growing up, I'd go through pants and jeans very frequently.

    I spend a fortune buying the few mediocre quality clothes I can afford at Casual Male XL. I go through belts 2-3 a year, just from cinching them tightly enough that I can walk around the block without having to pull my pants up. I over-dress everywhere I go and obsess about style, to make up for being fat. I tell myself that at least I now have the option-- before I was so fat I wore the biggest sizes in the store and could never look anything but ridiculously obese, and now I can layer in such a way that I can at least stand to look at myself. I look at myself in the mirror endlessly, so that I can figure out which facial expressions and angles work best for me, nearly obsessively. Still, even when I feel like I'm looking damn good, it's always 'for a fat guy'.

    When I worked at McDonald's in high school I sometimes used to get into eating competitions where I'd put down 7 big macs, with super size fries and a large soda besides, in 20 minutes, or we'd race to see who could do a 20 nugget fastest, or 10 cheeseburgers. I'd drink ~4 large sodas a shift, and eat a big meal there before, during, and after work. I'd go to mcd on lunch break from school and eat a ss value meal AND a big chicken salad, every day. I gained over 100 lbs in 2 years, and with those eating habits, another 100 in the following 4. Things like eating over 100 hot wings at an all-you-can-eat, or routinely eating 4-7 heaping plates of food at chinese buffets. I'd eat a big bag of doritos before dinner, and popcorn after. I'd order 2 $5 medium pizzas from Domino's, intending to make it at least two meals (already a huge meal), and then I'd eat them both entirely, so that I'd be sick from overeating for half a day. Or buy a month's worth of junk food at the grocery store, and eat 2/3 of it in the first 24 hours, entire pounds of nuts in the same hour as a family-size cheez-its. I'd go to hibachi and order hibachi with both rice and noodles AND a sushi deluxe AND gyoza AND fried ice cream. At the buffet line it's rare if I'm not one of the first five in line.

    There was once so many empty fast food bags in the trunk of my suv that the pile rose to the top of the back seat. Three garbage bags full of just fast food wrappers.

    Swimming with a shirt on, or taking care to spend no more than 10 seconds out of the water without a shirt. Being too self-conscious about the pubic fat to really enjoy a *kitten*.

    Not being able to do the outdoors activities I love most, or not enjoying them because of joint or foot pain or inadequate cardio capacity, like skiing, hiking, or bicycling. Not being able to dance or have sex for more than a single song without being drenched in sweat and exhausted. Not wanting to run because the fat roll slapping down was so loud it drowned out the sound of my feet hitting the ground, slap so hard I'd have bruises. Not being able to walk because the gout is so bad that I have to get to the bathroom on crutches.

    Being turned down for dates with girls I had good rapport with because she's just not attracted to fat guys. Not daring to ask because I'm worried she doesn't find me physically attractive, however smart or funny I might be. Getting dumped after the first time in the bedroom. First date after first date after first date. Having my low self-esteem ruin my relationships.

    Hating spending time with other fat people because I wouldn't be able to see anything in them but all the things I hated about myself.

    Resenting my parents for letting me spend two whole years in middle school coming home, getting in a fight with my brother, breaking down in wracking, sobbing fits, and then eating until bedtime, gaining 100 lbs in two years. How in the **** could they not do something about that? How could they not get me the help I needed? Why am I seeing a personal trainer for the FIRST TIME at 32, when I've been morbidly obese since I was 11? All the thousands of dollars of money and gifts they've given me over the years, why didn't they do something to really help me? Sending me to sports camp at 100+ lbs overweight? What the ****? I needed a therapist and a diet, not more being teased about being the fattest kid there and getting picked last for everything.

    The real weight I'm losing is not just physical, but the emotional torment and shame and failure and self-hatred and loneliness I now associate with my being fat, that has so impeded my pursuit of happiness the last 20 years.

    I feel like this was originally meant to be funny, but really it's pretty ****ing sad.
  • Laura_beau
    Laura_beau Posts: 1,029 Member
    I agree with you grimnir- it seemed funny at first, and then once I got thinking about how much I'd missed out on, all the excuses & limitations in my life it really upset me. :o(

    Most of these applied to me several years ago at 330+lbs, however I find myself thinking/doing these things now I've gained a chunk of the weight back.

    - Contantly adjusting my clothes- pulling down my bra at the back to cover my 'back boobs'. Stretching my tops, always wearing leggings, always wearing cardigans to cover my arms, back etc....

    - Sitting down hugging a cushion to cover up my belly, or in public- using my handbag (purse) for that use. Or simply just folding my arms.

    - Long hair to hide fat face/ chin rolls.

    - BIG pants to tuck the tummy in- smaller ones roll down.

    - Being celibate for over 2 years because you cannot bear the thought of anyone touching you/seeing you naked.

    - Self esteem being soooo low that I had regular panic attacks in nightclubs beacuse I felt so ashamed/out of place/ ugly.

    - Making fun of myself & my weight- being the 'funny fat friend'

    - Hiding the mirrors in my house.

    - eating a snack before going out for a meal so you don't look greedy when ordering.

    Just a few......
  • delilah122
    delilah122 Posts: 41
    grimnir, I don't think this thread was ever meant to be funny as in "Ha, ha, ha .. wasn't that fun?" I think it was meant to be an ironic look at something we all had in common so we can remind ourselves of why we deserve better.
  • RocheleLynn
    RocheleLynn Posts: 265 Member
    must bump. ya'll speak my language.
  • oregonlady
    oregonlady Posts: 2,743 Member
    i had to slather diaper rash cream under my tummy flap or it would get sore and smelly!:noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway:
  • lorisowers
    lorisowers Posts: 64
    asking for a table instead of a booth at restaurants


    I was just talking to my best friend about this very thing...someday we will be able to sit at a booth instead of a table
  • Calidaho
    Calidaho Posts: 110 Member
    i had to slather diaper rash cream under my tummy flap or it would get sore and smelly!:noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway:

    That is a new one! And very useful!
  • kb1286
    kb1286 Posts: 2 Member
    I have to do squats and lunges to loosen up some of my pants too :laugh: . I'm stubborn, I'm not buying a new pants unless they're in a smaller size.
  • chezmama
    chezmama Posts: 396 Member
    What about buying a bunch of whatever you are craving at the moment.......eat it all in the car.......find a garbage can to throw away the garbage so nobody knows what you did???? Now, I know I am not the only one who has done this! :frown:

    You most definately are not alone with that one.
  • Pink_turnip
    Pink_turnip Posts: 280 Member
    For me personally, i never...ever leave the house with less than 2 shirts on. Normally a tank top under whatever I'm wearing, and have it be super long so if i bend in the wrong way or something, those love handles are always hidden. And it makes me feel smaller, lol..not sure why.

    I layer ALL the time, always a tank top, then a t-shirt or sweater or something, then always a zip-up.
  • JustBreathSB
    JustBreathSB Posts: 103 Member
    I don't do the knee stretch, it leaves weird bubbles in the shirts, but I use my arms to get an even stretch.

    Spanx anyone? I'm definitely a fan.
  • hankhanna
    hankhanna Posts: 72 Member
    What are spanx?
  • RCKT82
    RCKT82 Posts: 409 Member
    I did a lot of walking around the college campus when I was big... My pants/shorts would bunch up between my elephant legs... I use to pretend to look behind me so that I could do a little side step to release my pants from my leg fat death grip....
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
    the pillow. or the purse. when i sit down, even with the loss ive had so far, i still instantly reach for the pillow on the couch to hide my stomach. or set my purse in front of my gut. or fold my arms to push it in. ALWAYS. i dunno if ill ever be able to not do this! ive been doing it for so long now, its just habit! lol.
  • shannonpatton
    shannonpatton Posts: 299 Member
    Haha! Good post. I have this hoodie that I had to cut slits in the sides so it wouldn't dig into my stomach. Now it's huge on me! Wish I didnt cut it! My Hubby told me not to at that time cause he knew I'd be losing weight, but honestly I was running out of clothes to wear :(
  • Neliel
    Neliel Posts: 507 Member
    I would always wear the same big jumper every time I went out because it hid the love handles, tummy and arms. Not realising how awful and DRAB I constantly looked... every single day.

    Whenever I sat down i'd make sure I had SOMETHING across my lap to cover my tummy.

    Never letting my boyfriend touch my stomach. I still try to avoid it now but this fear isn't half as bad now.

    Always wearing long sleeves to cover my flabby arms.

    Eating chocolate in large quantities every single day without fail.
  • mommaski4
    mommaski4 Posts: 305 Member
    This post has given me so many laughs! I can't believe so many of the things i've done thinking i was the only one..now hearing so many other people have done it too.....

    Do that whole "look behind you" move while walking so that you are able to spread your legs a little farther without being noticeable so that your shorts that are bunched up between your thighs can get free.... or the move i see a lot of other big ppl do where they are walking and kinda do this weird quick little squat thing mid stride to let the bunch of shorts out from the inner thighs...my sis and i call it the "squat 'n drop" lol

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Oh my gosh. I made it through the first 7 pages of this post looking for this. 'Squat 'n drop', too funny! I still wear capri workout pants even in the 85 degree temps here in FL because my shorts ride up when I am walking or running. :ohwell:
  • 000angie000
    000angie000 Posts: 152 Member
    i had to slather diaper rash cream under my tummy flap or it would get sore and smelly!:noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway:

    Interesting... So glad to be losing that awful thing!!
  • 000angie000
    000angie000 Posts: 152 Member
    Just thought of another one. I would always lock the bathroom door or bedroom door when I did my feet because I didnt want my husband to see all of the strange things I had to do just to be able to reach my toenails!! It is getting soo much easier now! :smile:
  • Stephanie08
    Stephanie08 Posts: 1,023 Member
    two things:

    1) put my bra on backwards and twist, because I couldn't get my (t-rex length) arms around the back to hook it
    2) sewed an additional button closer to the button hole on my jeans so I had an extra inch of room. I guess you could call it the "snuggie button" .... glad I can use the standard button now :)
  • Bumpity Bump Bump Bump!!
This discussion has been closed.