Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »Despite a totally "meh" day for me, I've managed to meet most of my goals for the day.
- I got out of bed. (Kind of... Around 5 PM. Does it still count?)
- I did 45 minutes on my stationary bike.
- I prepared food for iftar (we did go out for dinner though... Does THAT still count?)
- I drank plenty of water, the full 8 cups I usually aim for.
- I'm quite a bit under my calories, though, so that one isn't a win.
In addition, I climbed (and descended) 36 flights of stairs, 18 up and 18 down; I also went for a nice long mall walk, but I still have no idea how long that mall is... If I had to guess, I'd say it's around 2 km, if not more.
So today is a pretty big win overall, at least goal-wise. Moodwise, I'm feeling weird. I wouldn't say I'm really depressed, more like... robotic and numb. :-/ It stinks. But hey, at least I got a few things done, right?
Yes this is good. So I just read this book by Sophie Kinsella. I mentioned her before on confessions of a shopaholic. I wish you could read this but there are some swear words. It's about a girl who has your condition. It's caused by teenage bullying. At the end she talks about how her condition does not define her. Being a good person defines her. If I could take a snapshot of the page on my phone and send to you I would. It was so appropriate for you. You are a wonderful person and need to define yourself by that.
While I have never believed in karma or fate or whatever it's so odd this book came into my life right now. I would argue fate. I will post what she writes as soon as I can get to my computer or iPad.0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »HI ALL! I am back from my vacation in the Dominican Republic! It was pretty awesome, though sadly the beach (which got awesome reviews on TripAdvisor) was FULL of seaweed. The water was murky, too... I went to the Bahamas thrice when I was younger and always loved the clear Caribbean water, but this water sucked! The sand was nice and soft, though... and it was nice to just lay out and read (I thought 1,400 pages would be enough... boy was I wrong).
The room was a lot better than I was expecting, because (opposite of the beach) there were a lot of complaints. I was very much happy with it... and the buffet was pretty decent. I'm going to miss eating all the mango and passion fruit I can. It was the first time I had passion fruit and to me it's pretty much like sour candy. Yum. And the banana smoothies and fresh donuts (made right in front of you) in the morning.
I got burned and it didn't feel great. For the first time ever I have freckles on my shoulders... I feel like my body didn't know what to do with the sudden influx of sun, and really I didn't get that much of a tan despite spending a lot of time every day in the great outdoors.
SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME: I got sand in my eye yesterday, last day to really enjoy the beach. I kept rubbing my eye and washing it out with water but I still feel like something is in my eye. It kept waking me up last night and now it's just freaking me out. My boyfriend says it's probably due to irritation or just my own mind playing tricks on me... but I do feel like it's in there and it's driving me mad. I just tried to submerge my eye in the sink to rinse it out but I only succeeded in making my eye burn. I've rubbed it raw (bad idea) and now it's pretty dry. I do think I can see a hairline scratch, so maybe I rubbed san into my eye enough to scratch it? Does anyone have experience with scratched eyeballs? I'm terrified to go to the doctor because I hate people going anywhere near my eye
Despite that (and my dumb flip-flops breaking two days ago), I really enjoyed Punta Cana
It does feel pretty good to be home, though. I've been wanting to see Inside Out.
Ugh, that sucks that the water was murky & full of seaweed! I felt the same way about how murky & unclear some of the beaches were in Hawaii. At least the resort was nice & the food was tolerable. I don't think I've ever actually had Passion Fruit aside from different yogurts.
Did you get any blisters from the sunburn? I hope your eye feels better soon:(.0 -
@raelynnsmama52512 Oh she is so cute! As are you!0
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pofoster21 wrote: »Oh she is so cute! As are you!orangesmartie wrote: »Safely arrived in Glasgow. We haven't killed each other yet
Good news. Maybe some time on the mountain will resolve some issues.0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »My sister still is not here.....crossing the border on the Friday afternoon, on an American long weekend is brutal....
She said she would be here around noon.....then she said more like 2.....then said ETA was more like 3.....it is 3 now, and she just text and said they are stuck in traffic so heavy they cannot even SEE the border yet.....
My boyfriend's dad drove us home from the airport yesterday in Montreal... and the traffic was brutal. I HATE getting stuck in traffic.... especially since I am prone to panicking when I feel cornered/stuck (I thought I was going to have to get out and throw up in front of everyone). I didn't even think it might be because 4th of July/Canada Day, but that makes sense. I hope your sister will be on board for 4 (or 5... or as early as possible?)... good luck to you and her!
I left a bit later this am than I usually do to get to my mom's. Got stuck in traffic. I hate that. Such wasted time.0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »And lastly for my CMM fellow participants, I tried to register, but its too early, I put my email in for a reminder when its available... get running!
I did the same! Went for 8 miles this morning.
Excellent. I ran about 6. We are on our way!0 -
My daddy and me ❤️[/quote]
Awwww...I was always a brunette. My older sisters were blonde initially then turned brunette.
Eta...removed double picpofoster21 wrote: »
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Thanks @Tubbs216 , @kelly_c_77 , and @Glinda1971 !!
Kelly- sorry to hear about your cat and I really hope you're able to get some good sleep soon!@kelly_c_77 and @raelynnsmama52512 y'all both have such cute kids!! How precious are they?! You're both very blessed!
Thank you. I put my son to bed 15 minutes ago...it's just about 7:30pm and I'm going to bed. I might watch tv for a little bit, but I seriously think I'm tired enough to fall asleep right now. Going to the batcave to post my step count for the day, then to bed I shall go.
Nighty night, everyone.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Despite a totally "meh" day for me, I've managed to meet most of my goals for the day.
- I got out of bed. (Kind of... Around 5 PM. Does it still count?)
- I did 45 minutes on my stationary bike.
- I prepared food for iftar (we did go out for dinner though... Does THAT still count?)
- I drank plenty of water, the full 8 cups I usually aim for.
- I'm quite a bit under my calories, though, so that one isn't a win.
In addition, I climbed (and descended) 36 flights of stairs, 18 up and 18 down; I also went for a nice long mall walk, but I still have no idea how long that mall is... If I had to guess, I'd say it's around 2 km, if not more.
So today is a pretty big win overall, at least goal-wise. Moodwise, I'm feeling weird. I wouldn't say I'm really depressed, more like... robotic and numb. :-/ It stinks. But hey, at least I got a few things done, right?
Yes this is good. So I just read this book by Sophie Kinsella. I mentioned her before on confessions of a shopaholic. I wish you could read this but there are some swear words. It's about a girl who has your condition. It's caused by teenage bullying. At the end she talks about how her condition does not define her. Being a good person defines her. If I could take a snapshot of the page on my phone and send to you I would. It was so appropriate for you. You are a wonderful person and need to define yourself by that.
While I have never believed in karma or fate or whatever it's so odd this book came into my life right now. I would argue fate. I will post what she writes as soon as I can get to my computer or iPad.
Which condition exactly? As I've mentioned before, I have clinical depression, Functional Neurological Disorder, anxiety (I'm not sure whether it's S.A.D. or G.A.D. because my doctor didn't say, but I'd personally say it's closer to G.A.D.), and selective mutism. The FND is the most obvious of the lot, since it's very much visible to others when I'm having a flare-up. 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Thanks to everyone for the kind words.
This is why when people that were not around when my mother was alive (as in people I met afterwards), are sometimes shocked when I tell them the years she has been dead have been the most peaceful years of my life. When I tell them a few stories they kind of understand, those that knew her, have always understood.
I am glad she was never able to poison my son the way she did me. Because believe me when I say that is not the only terrible thing she did to me, it was just the last, as she died several months after that.
Sometimes I tell my DR that I get frustrated with myself because of how much my OCD tends to limit me, and she always tells me to be thankful I am as good as I am, because I could just be a drug addict or something, given what I have been through. She always says she is amazed I actually do not suffer from some sort of depression.
My sister and I get on well, and I am excited to see her. She truly understands how I feel. She is a very big business woman, a strong leader etc, and my BIL told me once years ago, that even a phone call from my mother would disturb her sleep for several nights.
I made sure that I did not follow in my mother's footsteps, and when I had children of my own, I could not understand how she behaved the way she did. I would kill someone if they did to my children some of the things my own mother did to me, like literally murder them.
Ok, enough of this downer crap.
@Susieq_1994 - you are rocking it today! Good Stuff!!
@rungirl1973 - yeah I do not understand why parents want to divide their children. My daughter is adopted (as I have mentioned), and because I could not have more than one bio child, I have explained to her how important it is to me that they continue to be close,, even after I am gone. Also, glad your test went good!
@crosbylee - hope you have a great sunny weekend! I can't wait to go swimming! Pools opened last week but I have not had time yet!
@ythannah - I remember you saying you had a crappy home life too, I totally understand.....thankfully you were able to get out when you did!
@xLoveLikeWinterx - I ask myself that question all the time....I told my sister our mother could have just eaten us when we were young like an animal and saved us a lot of grief!
@quiksylver296 - I was wondering where you were...glad to see you on today! Good Stuff on the lifting!
I am feeling much better today than yesterday and the last few days.....I did not make it to the gym because I slept like crap and had a few too many things to do today before my sister gets here tomorrow, but I am gonna make it a bigger priority. I got a call this morning that my kitchen floor is finally being replaced on Monday, and while it causes me stress in the moment, it really needs replacing so I am thrilled.
I reworked my budget for this month so that I am able to give my son a good chunk of money towards another bike. While the whole situation just burns my *kitten* and I could use the money for other things, I really want to help him out so I am glad I was able to do that. Hopefully going to pick one up this weekend so he doesn't have to walk much longer......he is walking to work right now and it is so hot outside and it makes me feel sad for him, esp having just bought that bike last week.
Next week my boss is off work, so I am gonna be working extra again, but told her yesterday to be careful not to over load me because I am on edge.
Hopefully I do not get too far behind in the next week or so.....cuz I do not think I could skip and jump back in....I am WAY too bother by things like that.....I will not watch a TV series if I miss a single episode, or even a movie if I miss the first few minutes.....everything I do has to be in order....call it OCD
But even if I get behind and it takes me a few days to catch up I will just read along as I go, as long as you guys don't mind me adding my two cents on situations well after they are posted about!
I will be back on and off today, and tomorrow before my sister comes, but if that puts me behind, after the busy weekend and work week I have coming up, it might take me until this time next week to be back on track here, esp if I am gonna make sure I get my gym time in!!
I love you guys! A lot of you have truly touch my heart!
P.S. - Shrimp is delicious!!!!
I am so glad for you for many of the items in this post and for how well you've emerged on the other end. And trust me I get the OCD I couldn't skip either no matter how long it took me to catch up.
I'll confess that I have OCD. I wonder if OCD is hereditary?0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »For those in the US and the Brits celebrating the 4th along with us what are your weekend plans?
I am going to my mom's in Long Island and getting 2 long rides in to Montauk on my bike and at least one swim. My sister and her husband are visiting from Seattle too. I may cook Saturday if I can fit it in. Back at barn to work Sunday. Anyone have any fun things planned?
LOVE Montauk. My friends and I used to go all the time; just drive out for the day so we could eat lobster rolls and walk around.
I thought this earlier but wanted to comment on it. Every time I see the word Montauk I always think of that Montauk monster picture that went around years ago (that weird thing they found dead on the beach).
I have no idea what this is. I will need to look it up!Montauk is great except for the tourist and New Yorkers in for the weekend. Grrrr....
Eww I looked up the picture & it was pretty creepy looking.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »Hi all,
Sorry I haven't been around. My relationship with my boyfriend imploded spectacularly on Wednesday night.
I'm heading up to Glasgow today, ready for the mountain tomorrow night. There will be video and pics which I will share, but I'm unlikely to keep up with the thread until next week.
I hope everyone has a lovely weekend, particularly my American friends. Enjoy that independence we gave you
Yay! You will totally rock & own that mountain! Have fun.0 -
Confession: I've been trying SO HARD lately to smother this depression that's been at my throat for quite a while now, and it's been so impossible no matter what I do. Exercise, keeping busy, housework, reading, prayer... Nothing seems to help for more than an hour or so. I'm so frustrated about it right now, and I just want to cry and give up--dealing with depression is a horrible, horrible thing.
I had a great day today after getting up. I kept the house tidy, made dinner, had a nice outing and dinner with my husband, did my stairs and even got in a walk. Each time, it's a bit like my happiness meter would bounce up a little, then slowly just drain back down to nothing again. Trying to pull myself out of this funk and attempting to "fake it till I make it" is sucking me dry of energy, and I just... Don't know what to do anymore. I only got out of bed a few hours ago, but I want to go and curl up into a ball under the covers and just stay there forever...
Sorry to be such a downer, but I just felt like I needed to get it out. I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way. 0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I read MFP's newest blog post about hacks for healthier ice cream sandwiches, and I think my brain imploded and my IQ went down by at least 10 points...
Is it just me, or have the blogs been getting more and more like those idiotic articles in "fitness" magazines ever since UnderArmor purchased MFP? O.o
LOL! I almost afraid to read what their ice cream hacks are. I swear if they put Arctic Zero someone should be fired.
My favorite headlines for fitness are from Women's World! Every week they advertise some fad diet & the worst was the one that said lose 30 pounds in 30 days. I hope MFP doesn't start posting Dr. Oz blogs.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I've been trying SO HARD lately to smother this depression that's been at my throat for quite a while now, and it's been so impossible no matter what I do. Exercise, keeping busy, housework, reading, prayer... Nothing seems to help for more than an hour or so. I'm so frustrated about it right now, and I just want to cry and give up--dealing with depression is a horrible, horrible thing.
I had a great day today after getting up. I kept the house tidy, made dinner, had a nice outing and dinner with my husband, did my stairs and even got in a walk. Each time, it's a bit like my happiness meter would bounce up a little, then slowly just drain back down to nothing again. Trying to pull myself out of this funk and attempting to "fake it till I make it" is sucking me dry of energy, and I just... Don't know what to do anymore. I only got out of bed a few hours ago, but I want to go and curl up into a ball under the covers and just stay there forever...
Sorry to be such a downer, but I just felt like I needed to get it out. I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way.
I am so sorry you are feeling that way! And I really wish I could help you.
Can you feel hugs and support for you coming all the way from the middle of Canada? Because I'm sending them.
That's all I got. But we're here for you when you need to let it out somewhere.0 -
I believe it is. Is it in your family?kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Thanks to everyone for the kind words.
This is why when people that were not around when my mother was alive (as in people I met afterwards), are sometimes shocked when I tell them the years she has been dead have been the most peaceful years of my life. When I tell them a few stories they kind of understand, those that knew her, have always understood.
I am glad she was never able to poison my son the way she did me. Because believe me when I say that is not the only terrible thing she did to me, it was just the last, as she died several months after that.
Sometimes I tell my DR that I get frustrated with myself because of how much my OCD tends to limit me, and she always tells me to be thankful I am as good as I am, because I could just be a drug addict or something, given what I have been through. She always says she is amazed I actually do not suffer from some sort of depression.
My sister and I get on well, and I am excited to see her. She truly understands how I feel. She is a very big business woman, a strong leader etc, and my BIL told me once years ago, that even a phone call from my mother would disturb her sleep for several nights.
I made sure that I did not follow in my mother's footsteps, and when I had children of my own, I could not understand how she behaved the way she did. I would kill someone if they did to my children some of the things my own mother did to me, like literally murder them.
Ok, enough of this downer crap.
@Susieq_1994 - you are rocking it today! Good Stuff!!
@rungirl1973 - yeah I do not understand why parents want to divide their children. My daughter is adopted (as I have mentioned), and because I could not have more than one bio child, I have explained to her how important it is to me that they continue to be close,, even after I am gone. Also, glad your test went good!
@crosbylee - hope you have a great sunny weekend! I can't wait to go swimming! Pools opened last week but I have not had time yet!
@ythannah - I remember you saying you had a crappy home life too, I totally understand.....thankfully you were able to get out when you did!
@xLoveLikeWinterx - I ask myself that question all the time....I told my sister our mother could have just eaten us when we were young like an animal and saved us a lot of grief!
@quiksylver296 - I was wondering where you were...glad to see you on today! Good Stuff on the lifting!
I am feeling much better today than yesterday and the last few days.....I did not make it to the gym because I slept like crap and had a few too many things to do today before my sister gets here tomorrow, but I am gonna make it a bigger priority. I got a call this morning that my kitchen floor is finally being replaced on Monday, and while it causes me stress in the moment, it really needs replacing so I am thrilled.
I reworked my budget for this month so that I am able to give my son a good chunk of money towards another bike. While the whole situation just burns my *kitten* and I could use the money for other things, I really want to help him out so I am glad I was able to do that. Hopefully going to pick one up this weekend so he doesn't have to walk much longer......he is walking to work right now and it is so hot outside and it makes me feel sad for him, esp having just bought that bike last week.
Next week my boss is off work, so I am gonna be working extra again, but told her yesterday to be careful not to over load me because I am on edge.
Hopefully I do not get too far behind in the next week or so.....cuz I do not think I could skip and jump back in....I am WAY too bother by things like that.....I will not watch a TV series if I miss a single episode, or even a movie if I miss the first few minutes.....everything I do has to be in order....call it OCD
But even if I get behind and it takes me a few days to catch up I will just read along as I go, as long as you guys don't mind me adding my two cents on situations well after they are posted about!
I will be back on and off today, and tomorrow before my sister comes, but if that puts me behind, after the busy weekend and work week I have coming up, it might take me until this time next week to be back on track here, esp if I am gonna make sure I get my gym time in!!
I love you guys! A lot of you have truly touch my heart!
P.S. - Shrimp is delicious!!!!
I am so glad for you for many of the items in this post and for how well you've emerged on the other end. And trust me I get the OCD I couldn't skip either no matter how long it took me to catch up.
I'll confess that I have OCD. I wonder if OCD is hereditary?
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And more coming from a little further west, too. I know it's already tomorrow where you are, so I hope today is a good day. Celebrate those days.Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I've been trying SO HARD lately to smother this depression that's been at my throat for quite a while now, and it's been so impossible no matter what I do. Exercise, keeping busy, housework, reading, prayer... Nothing seems to help for more than an hour or so. I'm so frustrated about it right now, and I just want to cry and give up--dealing with depression is a horrible, horrible thing.
I had a great day today after getting up. I kept the house tidy, made dinner, had a nice outing and dinner with my husband, did my stairs and even got in a walk. Each time, it's a bit like my happiness meter would bounce up a little, then slowly just drain back down to nothing again. Trying to pull myself out of this funk and attempting to "fake it till I make it" is sucking me dry of energy, and I just... Don't know what to do anymore. I only got out of bed a few hours ago, but I want to go and curl up into a ball under the covers and just stay there forever...
Sorry to be such a downer, but I just felt like I needed to get it out. I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way.
I am so sorry you are feeling that way! And I really wish I could help you.
Can you feel hugs and support for you coming all the way from the middle of Canada? Because I'm sending them.
That's all I got. But we're here for you when you need to let it out somewhere.
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quiksylver296 wrote: »Just to illustrate how weird I am, this morning on my run I had a stretch of 3 songs that went like this:
Sold (Grundy County Auction) by John Michael Montgomery
Still Not A Player by Big Punisher
Thunder Kiss '65 by White Zombie
I also think this dates me a little.
Please don't judge that I haven't figured out how to use the shuffle on my iPhone
Totally sounds like my playlist. Sold by JMM, then Adrenaline by Shinedown, then maybe Bad by Michael Jackson.
That makes me feel...less weird
My playlist on my exercise soundtrack includes such renowned hits like
1. Ninja Rap-Vanilla Ice
2. U Can't Touch This-MC Hammer
3. Good Vibrations-Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch0 -
@Susieq_1994 you were such a cute baby!
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