Adding MFP Friends as a married guy
Replies
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itsfuntobenormal wrote: »My husband uses MFP -- people (male and female) flirt with me on my wall. Imagine that you can be married, committed and happy while also enjoying attention from others. Really, it's not all that easy to slip into adulterous relationships -- we all know there's a difference in somebody saying "Hey you look good" and somebody trying to get you to meet them. If you stink at boundaries, you stink at boundaries but don't project that out onto everyone.
Exactly.
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ceoverturf wrote: »thesupremeforce wrote: »I'm not sure what's happening in this thread, but I'm glad that I took the time to read the entire thing. I think.
What's the "acceptable" minimum for number of male friends anyway?
42
The answer is always 42
Don't forget your towel.
No, that was not innuendo. Swears.0 -
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itsfuntobenormal wrote: »My husband uses MFP -- people (male and female) flirt with me on my wall. Imagine that you can be married, committed and happy while also enjoying attention from others. Really, it's not all that easy to slip into adulterous relationships -- we all know there's a difference in somebody saying "Hey you look good" and somebody trying to get you to meet them. If you stink at boundaries, you stink at boundaries but don't project that out onto everyone.
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Alluminati wrote: »I think it's weird that your wife is all up in your MFP profile even though she's not on MFP. I also find it odd that you find it weird to request male friendships. I find it wierd that there is some ratio of male to female friends that's desired, because if there isn't a balance, somehow a married person is.....doing something wrong? Frankly, these types of posts are just weird in general.
+1
I add or accept people based off fitness goals & similarities. The rest is moot.
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rushbabe0214 wrote: »When I was younger, I may have had a different outlook on the subject. I wasn't so secure then. But I'm 52 and have been with my husband for 25 years. We trust one another. I leave MFP open on my desktop computer All. The. Time. If he wanted to, he could see all my activity including PMs, anytime he wanted. He doesn't check up on me. I don't check up on him. We're good.
ALL OF THIS!!!0 -
itsfuntobenormal wrote: »My husband uses MFP -- people (male and female) flirt with me on my wall. Imagine that you can be married, committed and happy while also enjoying attention from others. Really, it's not all that easy to slip into adulterous relationships -- we all know there's a difference in somebody saying "Hey you look good" and somebody trying to get you to meet them. If you stink at boundaries, you stink at boundaries but don't project that out onto everyone.
SO much THIS too!0 -
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itsfuntobenormal wrote: »My husband uses MFP -- people (male and female) flirt with me on my wall. Imagine that you can be married, committed and happy while also enjoying attention from others. Really, it's not all that easy to slip into adulterous relationships -- we all know there's a difference in somebody saying "Hey you look good" and somebody trying to get you to meet them. If you stink at boundaries, you stink at boundaries but don't project that out onto everyone.
SO much THIS too!
Totally agree.
Anyway, most of my female MFP friends live thousands of miles away so hooking up would involve airline tickets and all kinds of logistics that sound like more work than I'm willing to do. Besides, I'm too busy logging and working out.0 -
I have a few married male friends on here and whenever I see their feeds it's all girls going "hiiii sweetie" and "u look so good babe" and stuff like that, so if my husband were on here I'd be careful about his friends list as well. I don't know who these chicks are who can't act decent but...they're all over this site.
The only male who has the right to call me sweetie and babe is my husband, and vice versa!
He would be most happy if I completely deleted my account here. He always happens to walk by when there's a half naked bloke on one of the avi's. So I don't blame him for getting upset.
He's been on my profile and looked through my messages, I don't mind at all. I put a pic of him in my profile because he got all uppity that there wasn't one there. If I can make him feel happier and more secure then of course I'll do it. I'd expect the same from him.
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I understand your dilemma as I understand your wife's concern. I am newly married myself. The ratio isn't a concern for us, but your spouse comes first! If she is uncomfortable, I applaud your efforts to help. It's about having peace and living harmoniously.
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barbecuesauce wrote: »460mustang wrote: »mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.
I can't believe the gender that whips their genitalia out to urinate in full view of others is so afraid of looking gay I just cannot believe it
Who? When? Do you mean urinals?
Guys at a urinal generally don't sword fight or look at each other at a urinal.
Also did the op actually say he was afraid of looking gay? Seems odd to me that a guy having some anxiety/stress/concerns about friend requesting another guy must mean they are either gay or homophobic.
Kind of revealing about your opinions and stereotypes you hold about men and homosexuals.
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bcalvanese wrote: »I just sent you a friend request, but that doesn't mean I want to take long showers till the wee hours of the morning with ya...
LOL. Thanks dude. Shower free MFP!0 -
FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »kyrannosaurus wrote: »What's weird about that? Your wife needs to worry less. Plenty of men have lots of female friends (online and in real life). It doesn't mean anything at all!
You must be unaware of what goes on here at MFP…FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »OP: This sounds like a personal problem. You have male friends in real life, I'm assuming. Assuming you have Facebook or other social media, surely you've requested males there before. So why is it weird to send a male a friend request on MFP? This is a fitness website; if you request a male, they aren't going to think you're hitting on them. Trust me. However, I can't say the same for some of the women here. If you stick around long enough, you'll understand what I mean.
I take exception to your repeated inference that there is hanky-panky going on at MFP. I have both male and female friends here. I have never propositioned nor been propositioned here (in a year) so I can only assume you get back what you put out.
My friends on MFP (male and female) are supportive and respectful.
What a riot! Look, this was only to add a couple guys with similar goals. There just seems to be an imbalance of females on MFP, and this was observed by my wife.
Thanks for your support and respect.0 -
Just noticed this thread went so off topic it was moved to the chit chat section.
Well done
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barbecuesauce wrote: »460mustang wrote: »mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.
I can't believe the gender that whips their genitalia out to urinate in full view of others is so afraid of looking gay I just cannot believe it
Who? When? Do you mean urinals?
Guys at a urinal generally don't sword fight or look at each other at a urinal.
Also did the op actually say he was afraid of looking gay? Seems odd to me that a guy having some anxiety/stress/concerns about friend requesting another guy must mean they are either gay or homophobic.
Kind of revealing about your opinions and stereotypes you hold about men and homosexuals.
Urinal Sword Fights FTW!!!!0 -
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Just noticed this thread went so off topic it was moved to the chit chat section.
Well done
That hardly seems fair, as the OP's intent remains to achieve more male friends and he is not in control of what others post in reply.
Anyways, I liked what you said about stereotyping males. It struck me that way when it became "clear" to some that homophobia was at play when it might be long ingrained habits of "seeking"/ "pursuing" female relationships and maybe falling into male friendships with much less effort and forethought like just ending up in sports teams. Don't get me wrong I'm really glad we have a vocal component advocating against homophobia but I just think seeking some understanding of the heterosexual male habits is in order too. I hoped that's the tangent this thread would take if any, but instead it kinda turned into an "I'm so SECURE!!!" lady doth protest drum to bang. (No pun intended.) I don't care if this guy's wife's insecure/controlling/or whatever else was implied
....
... Can't he just get more male friends if he wants?0 -
I'm not a scientist but isn't there an imbalance of females in the world at large? That might explain your FL.mjtranter65 wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »kyrannosaurus wrote: »What's weird about that? Your wife needs to worry less. Plenty of men have lots of female friends (online and in real life). It doesn't mean anything at all!
You must be unaware of what goes on here at MFP…FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »OP: This sounds like a personal problem. You have male friends in real life, I'm assuming. Assuming you have Facebook or other social media, surely you've requested males there before. So why is it weird to send a male a friend request on MFP? This is a fitness website; if you request a male, they aren't going to think you're hitting on them. Trust me. However, I can't say the same for some of the women here. If you stick around long enough, you'll understand what I mean.
I take exception to your repeated inference that there is hanky-panky going on at MFP. I have both male and female friends here. I have never propositioned nor been propositioned here (in a year) so I can only assume you get back what you put out.
My friends on MFP (male and female) are supportive and respectful.
What a riot! Look, this was only to add a couple guys with similar goals. There just seems to be an imbalance of females on MFP, and this was observed by my wife.
Thanks for your support and respect.
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What?MyChocolateDiet wrote: »
I'm not a scientist but isn't there an imbalance of females in the world at large? That might explain your FL.mjtranter65 wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »kyrannosaurus wrote: »What's weird about that? Your wife needs to worry less. Plenty of men have lots of female friends (online and in real life). It doesn't mean anything at all!
You must be unaware of what goes on here at MFP…FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »OP: This sounds like a personal problem. You have male friends in real life, I'm assuming. Assuming you have Facebook or other social media, surely you've requested males there before. So why is it weird to send a male a friend request on MFP? This is a fitness website; if you request a male, they aren't going to think you're hitting on them. Trust me. However, I can't say the same for some of the women here. If you stick around long enough, you'll understand what I mean.
I take exception to your repeated inference that there is hanky-panky going on at MFP. I have both male and female friends here. I have never propositioned nor been propositioned here (in a year) so I can only assume you get back what you put out.
My friends on MFP (male and female) are supportive and respectful.
What a riot! Look, this was only to add a couple guys with similar goals. There just seems to be an imbalance of females on MFP, and this was observed by my wife.
Thanks for your support and respect.
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christinev297 wrote: »
You're so scared of being in the chit chat forum that you'd unfollow a thread you were obviously enjoying? Please be joking. Otherwise, whatever
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christinev297 wrote: »
You can unfollow a thread you've posted in?? TELL ME OF THIS PLEASE!!0 -
You can unfollow a thread you've posted in?? TELL ME OF THIS PLEASE!!
I think you have to turn off "Notify me when people comment on discussions I've participated in," and then star every thread you post in. Then you can un-star them. It's a pain. If somebody knows a better way, I'd like to hear about it.0 -
MyChocolateDiet wrote: »Just noticed this thread went so off topic it was moved to the chit chat section.
Well done
That hardly seems fair, as the OP's intent remains to achieve more male friends and he is not in control of what others post in reply.
Anyways, I liked what you said about stereotyping males. It struck me that way when it became "clear" to some that homophobia was at play when it might be long ingrained habits of "seeking"/ "pursuing" female relationships and maybe falling into male friendships with much less effort and forethought like just ending up in sports teams. Don't get me wrong I'm really glad we have a vocal component advocating against homophobia but I just think seeking some understanding of the heterosexual male habits is in order too. I hoped that's the tangent this thread would take if any, but instead it kinda turned into an "I'm so SECURE!!!" lady doth protest drum to bang. (No pun intended.) I don't care if this guy's wife's insecure/controlling/or whatever else was implied
....
... Can't he just get more male friends if he wants?
Got more male friends. Done. Also, not gay or homophobic. My wife and I have been grotesquely entertained at this discussion.0 -
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yellowantphil wrote: »You can unfollow a thread you've posted in?? TELL ME OF THIS PLEASE!!
I think you have to turn off "Notify me when people comment on discussions I've participated in," and then star every thread you post in. Then you can un-star them. It's a pain. If somebody knows a better way, I'd like to hear about it.
This is the way I do it. I actually start several that I don't even post in, lol.0 -
FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »kyrannosaurus wrote: »What's weird about that? Your wife needs to worry less. Plenty of men have lots of female friends (online and in real life). It doesn't mean anything at all!
You must be unaware of what goes on here at MFP…FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »OP: This sounds like a personal problem. You have male friends in real life, I'm assuming. Assuming you have Facebook or other social media, surely you've requested males there before. So why is it weird to send a male a friend request on MFP? This is a fitness website; if you request a male, they aren't going to think you're hitting on them. Trust me. However, I can't say the same for some of the women here. If you stick around long enough, you'll understand what I mean.
I take exception to your repeated inference that there is hanky-panky going on at MFP. I have both male and female friends here. I have never propositioned nor been propositioned here (in a year) so I can only assume you get back what you put out.
My friends on MFP (male and female) are supportive and respectful.
@socalkay No offense but you're nearly 60 years old. I'm not too sure how much "hanky-panky" goes on here with people of/near your age- which is most likely why you've never propositioned or been propositioned. Or they're just not interested…
Also, let me take a wild guess… you're one of those people who think women who have been raped "asked for it." As someone who works with rape victims on a daily basis, I would advise you not say stuff like "you get back what you put out."
Wow, that's an erroneous, not to mention offensive, conclusion! I am most certainly not one of those people who think women who have been raped "asked for it." In no way does my comment that, "you get back what you put out" imply that I do and is, in fact, a sentiment that is woven into the threads of many religions. It's called "the ethic of reciprocity" and it was made in response to the thread topic, not a conversation about rape. You owe me an apology.0
This discussion has been closed.
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