Adding MFP Friends as a married guy
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MamaBirdBoss wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »MyChocolateDiet wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Cryptonomnomicon wrote: »I've always viewed MFP as my opportunity to talk about fitness and diet as much as I want with like-minded people. I never really thought about it from a male/female perspective as I don't have extremely personal conversations with my MFP friends.
Are all the girls young, half-naked and "flirting" with you or something? If your intentions were innocent and you keep it relevant to MFP- I just don't see the big deal here.
I don't see why "being young" is a requisite for being "half-naked and "flirting" with you or something?"
but the rest is true.
I was thinking more of guys who creep on the young ones. Or some immodest ladies I can think of from my old Instagram. I should have said "young, half-naked OR flirting..." I do not think one implies the other-we are capable of ridiculousness at every age! No insult intended.
I've seen some young and not so young forum members, who's profile pics looks like they are auditioning for a strippers job :noway:
Me too. And butts and labias of non teeny boppers have been known to surface.
Seriously?
I'm pretty sure she means camel-toe? I hope?
gawd I hope so!
I got a request once with a full frontal shot, which got cut off right before the "helmet" showed...
The head on his shoulders was cut off too.
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maybe this is a bit liberal for you, but why is requesting a guy so weird? Do you feel like it's gay? Because if that's the case... you're married to a woman, I can pretty much guarantee other men aren't going to assume anything if you add them. If you have another reason for it being weird.... honestly I can't think of any other reasons... but that's just my 2 cents
it definitely seems like some form of homophobia
Or fear of homophobes.0 -
Yes.christinev297 wrote: »MyChocolateDiet wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Cryptonomnomicon wrote: »I've always viewed MFP as my opportunity to talk about fitness and diet as much as I want with like-minded people. I never really thought about it from a male/female perspective as I don't have extremely personal conversations with my MFP friends.
Are all the girls young, half-naked and "flirting" with you or something? If your intentions were innocent and you keep it relevant to MFP- I just don't see the big deal here.
I don't see why "being young" is a requisite for being "half-naked and "flirting" with you or something?"
but the rest is true.
I was thinking more of guys who creep on the young ones. Or some immodest ladies I can think of from my old Instagram. I should have said "young, half-naked OR flirting..." I do not think one implies the other-we are capable of ridiculousness at every age! No insult intended.
I've seen some young and not so young forum members, who's profile pics looks like they are auditioning for a strippers job :noway:
Me too. And butts and labias of non teeny boppers have been known to surface.
Seriously?
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MyChocolateDiet wrote: »maybe this is a bit liberal for you, but why is requesting a guy so weird? Do you feel like it's gay? Because if that's the case... you're married to a woman, I can pretty much guarantee other men aren't going to assume anything if you add them. If you have another reason for it being weird.... honestly I can't think of any other reasons... but that's just my 2 cents
it definitely seems like some form of homophobia
Or fear of homophobes.
Ah yeah, that too is possible (I guess)0 -
pollypocket1021 wrote: »I may be alone in this sentiment, but I think it's fair for your wife not to be happy about your female friends and for her to be snoping your account. My husband and I have a joint Facebook account and would have a joint MFP too if it was physically possible.
I have exactly one friend on here who is male. I have a lot of respect for him and he doesn't come around the forums anymore. If not for that specific situation, it would be zero.
Same rules apply in real life. Unless I have to talk to men as a requirement for my job, I don't without my husband present.
If I was your wife, your MFP account would've been deleted long ago.
Out of curiosity... does your husband do the same (/vice versa)?
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I believe there are more women on this site (actively, anyways) so, if your just adding anyone, its probably like that because of that reason.0
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christinev297 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
Yeah, but "clean eating" was mentioned in 43% of divorce proceedings.
:laugh:
No that I clean eat, but hubby and I have had plenty of "disagreements" about me not wanting to dive heard first into a supersize bag of chips and chocolate because I'm watching what I eat. Weighing my food particularly drive him nuts!!itsfuntobenormal wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
I bet none of those people had joint accounts.
I'd never thought about why people had joint accounts.. I always thought that it was to easier keep in touch with mutual friends. But now I see, It's to keep a closer eye on each other...
'Cause, you know, the basis of every successful relationship is unflappable mistrust...0 -
christinev297 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
Yeah, but "clean eating" was mentioned in 43% of divorce proceedings.
:laugh:
No that I clean eat, but hubby and I have had plenty of "disagreements" about me not wanting to dive heard first into a supersize bag of chips and chocolate because I'm watching what I eat. Weighing my food particularly drive him nuts!!itsfuntobenormal wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
I bet none of those people had joint accounts.
I'd never thought about why people had joint accounts.. I always thought that it was to easier keep in touch with mutual friends. But now I see, It's to keep a closer eye on each other...
'Cause, you know, the basis of every successful relationship is unflappable mistrust...
gotta keep em' on a short leash..
Give em' enough rope and they'll eventually hang themselves..
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MamaBirdBoss wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
Yeah, but "clean eating" was mentioned in 43% of divorce proceedings.
:laugh:
No that I clean eat, but hubby and I have had plenty of "disagreements" about me not wanting to dive heard first into a supersize bag of chips and chocolate because I'm watching what I eat. Weighing my food particularly drive him nuts!!itsfuntobenormal wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
I bet none of those people had joint accounts.
I'd never thought about why people had joint accounts.. I always thought that it was to easier keep in touch with mutual friends. But now I see, It's to keep a closer eye on each other...
People who use it mainly to stay in contact with family and not really for socializing most often have joint accounts. I see that a lot.
Among people I know, joint accounts trend towards couples who are Mormon. No one else really seems to do it. They may snoop each other's various accounts, but not full on joint.
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pollypocket1021 wrote: »barbecuesauce wrote: »85Cardinals wrote: »Y'all are really piling on pollypocket here. After about 40 posts slamming her, I think she's got the idea.
It's a forum. Sometimes people don't read the replies before they post. Didn't see one where she asked for a white knight either.
Lol. I know most people don't approach life or relationships like I do.
But since I'm in a very small minority with regard to interacting with people as a married woman, it would maybe give the OP some perspective on how reasonable his wife is.
And nothing I my original post is exaggerated.
Some perspective on how reasonable she is? Wish my food logging worked this way - well someone on here at everything available at the local Cheesecake Factory in one sitting, therefore there's no calories if I eat one whole cheesecake.0 -
mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.0 -
460mustang wrote: »mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.
Really?0 -
460mustang wrote: »mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.
Really?
Yup, really!0 -
460mustang wrote: »460mustang wrote: »mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.
Really?
Yup, really!
Not even like with a "sup bro, awesome PR, totally not hitting on you" or "Hi. Also a marathoner. Interested in your comments in thread dated 12/07"?0 -
460mustang wrote: »mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.
Really?
No, not really. I've gotten all kinds of FRs from dudes. And there are a few on here who are clearly in deep bromances amongst themselves.
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460mustang wrote: »mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.
I can't believe the gender that whips their genitalia out to urinate in full view of others is so afraid of looking gay I just cannot believe it0 -
barbecuesauce wrote: »460mustang wrote: »mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.
I can't believe the gender that whips their genitalia out to urinate in full view of others is so afraid of looking gay I just cannot believe it
:laugh:
And don't try telling us y'all don't take a peak at the guy in the stall next to you
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I'm a married man, my wife is on MFP and we both have a mixture of male and female friends. I wouldn't think any more about adding a male friend than a female friend. I think the fact that it's a fitness site, people you are friends with on here are just people who you can support and motivate to hit their goals and vice versa, and hopefully get some friendly advice. Just try and see it as gender neutral :-)...Oh, and feel free to add me.0
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460mustang wrote: »mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.
Really?
No, not really. I've gotten all kinds of FRs from dudes. And there are a few on here who are clearly in deep bromances amongst themselves.
Lol yes true, I've seen some of that. Ok that's a relief.barbecuesauce wrote: »460mustang wrote: »mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.
I can't believe the gender that whips their genitalia out to urinate in full view of others is so afraid of looking gay I just cannot believe it
Lol - maybe it's just 460mustang and the OP0 -
This is getting good, maybe someday you'll figure it out.
Actually I had planned to lose weight on MFP by myself, without any friends, but then a few asked me to be friends and I accepted, then I decided to ask a few to become friends, including guys, but I have to say it was harder for me to ask the guys than it was the women. I was more afraid of the guys turning me down than the women, if that makes sense!0 -
Okay... But if that was his goal, he's not stopping though. He's adding dudes so the list doesn't look female dominant. If he were really trying to appease his wife in this manner, he would need to delete all the chicks on his list. Not saying that he has to. Just sayin'I think you are due some serious kudos for respecting your wife in this way. It is not about what everyone here thinks is right or not, it is about what the two of you think that matters.
If my wife had concerns with anything I was doing, or who I was doing it with, I would stop immediately.mjtranter65 wrote: »Wow, I have never posted anything before, and the only hope was to collect MFP friends. The opinions range from toxic date site blah, blah to actual guys that know what I'm saying. To those, thanks. To the others, get back on the treadmill or whatever and relieve some of that pent up tension.
Thanks. I guess this attempt was in the least interesting, and somewhat successful.
But nobody made you include all that context - now you're mad folks found it interesting and commented? All you had to do was say "hey, I'm looking for new friends, possibly mainly males that have the same goals as I do. I love dead lifts and squats and looking at my huge biceps in the mirror. The End". Heck you can still create a new post and say that
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460mustang wrote: »This is getting good, maybe someday you'll figure it out.
Actually I had planned to lose weight on MFP by myself, without any friends, but then a few asked me to be friends and I accepted, then I decided to ask a few to become friends, including guys, but I have to say it was harder for me to ask the guys than it was the women. I was more afraid of the guys turning me down than the women, if that makes sense!
I think so. I think men often create friendships by doing stuff together. They kind of fall into it, over time. Asking another man to be a friend - instead of just going to a bar together in a group - might feel like being on the playground and having to ask to join in on a game. Maybe there's an element of peer pressure or anxiety about peer evaluations.
(And I wonder if the MFP bromances start out like that (ie by "doing stuff together"), with men talking in the same threads for a while before one of them sends the request.)
Meanwhile, men are used to asking women for stuff
(There is also the possibility that some men think the views other men have of them are more important than women's views, just because they're coming from men, but I am not going to assume that right now.)0 -
460mustang wrote: »This is getting good, maybe someday you'll figure it out.
Actually I had planned to lose weight on MFP by myself, without any friends, but then a few asked me to be friends and I accepted, then I decided to ask a few to become friends, including guys, but I have to say it was harder for me to ask the guys than it was the women. I was more afraid of the guys turning me down than the women, if that makes sense!
I think so. I think men often create friendships by doing stuff together. They kind of fall into it, over time. Asking another man to be a friend - instead of just going to a bar together in a group - might feel like being on the playground and having to ask to join in on a game. Maybe there's an element of peer pressure or anxiety about peer evaluations.
(And I wonder if the MFP bromances start out like that (ie by "doing stuff together"), with men talking in the same threads for a while before one of them sends the request.)
Meanwhile, men are used to asking women for stuff
(There is also the possibility that some men think the views other men have of them are more important than women's views, just because they're coming from men, but I am not going to assume that right now.)
Yes, I need to have similar interests or I don't talk.0 -
I feel a bit sad for the people who have so little trust between them that they can't have friends on here of the opposite sex. my partner would never check my mfp, or think there was any reason for me to have only female friends because he trusts me. I have earned that trust through 7 years of fidelity.
I'm on here to lose weight, which is clear from my 33lb weight loss! He trusts that I'm not interested in the 'other side' of mfp.0 -
Sounds like you need to grow a pair and tell your wife to stay out of your business! !! Such a sad post0
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This thread is weird0
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dawniemate wrote: »Sounds like you need to grow a pair and tell your wife to stay out of your business! !! Such a sad post
Totally0 -
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I have male friends. In real life, I've always had more male friends than female friends. That happens when you like spiders, snakes, and science class. My husband has female friends. I don't worry about it.0
This discussion has been closed.
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