Adding MFP Friends as a married guy
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itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »pollypocket1021 wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »pollypocket1021 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »pollypocket1021 wrote: »barbecuesauce wrote: »85Cardinals wrote: »Y'all are really piling on pollypocket here. After about 40 posts slamming her, I think she's got the idea.
It's a forum. Sometimes people don't read the replies before they post. Didn't see one where she asked for a white knight either.
Lol. I know most people don't approach life or relationships like I do.
But since I'm in a very small minority with regard to interacting with people as a married woman, it would maybe give the OP some perspective on how reasonable his wife is.
And nothing I my original post is exaggerated.
You have respect for your relationship, and your husbands feelings. I totally get where you're coming from
Sure respect, but is that enough?
I'm not married etc so maybe I don't have the right idea.
But what about trust? What about being 2 individuals that are married?
Just seems odd and what polly has said so far, if it sounded one sided it would be setting off alarms with me of an abusive or controlling relationship, but it seems like it's from both people, and polly seems happy about it so who am I to judge.
Maybe I should preface with the fact that I used to work somewhere where married people having affairs with coworkers was the norm. It was openly talked an joked about. There were days when I was asked out for drinks after work before I clocked in.
I didn't want that to become acceptable or normal for me, so I made sure that everything in my life was completely open and transparent to my husband and I drew certain lines in the sand. Having the joint account also sent a clear message to my coworkers. 10 years later, those lines are still drawn and I am very comfortable with where they are. It's about me being honest and accountable.
So no abuse, just fallout from the Petri dish that I assume most teaching hospitals are.
A married 19 year old doing in a teaching hospital getting asked out for drinks.
Alex, I will take "Making this *kitten* up as as I go for 1,000"
Or maybe you are Doogie Howser.
Try unit clerk during nursing school. And yes, I was married at 19.
Explains so much.pollypocket1021 wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »pollypocket1021 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »pollypocket1021 wrote: »barbecuesauce wrote: »85Cardinals wrote: »Y'all are really piling on pollypocket here. After about 40 posts slamming her, I think she's got the idea.
It's a forum. Sometimes people don't read the replies before they post. Didn't see one where she asked for a white knight either.
Lol. I know most people don't approach life or relationships like I do.
But since I'm in a very small minority with regard to interacting with people as a married woman, it would maybe give the OP some perspective on how reasonable his wife is.
And nothing I my original post is exaggerated.
You have respect for your relationship, and your husbands feelings. I totally get where you're coming from
Sure respect, but is that enough?
I'm not married etc so maybe I don't have the right idea.
But what about trust? What about being 2 individuals that are married?
Just seems odd and what polly has said so far, if it sounded one sided it would be setting off alarms with me of an abusive or controlling relationship, but it seems like it's from both people, and polly seems happy about it so who am I to judge.
Maybe I should preface with the fact that I used to work somewhere where married people having affairs with coworkers was the norm. It was openly talked an joked about. There were days when I was asked out for drinks after work before I clocked in.
I didn't want that to become acceptable or normal for me, so I made sure that everything in my life was completely open and transparent to my husband and I drew certain lines in the sand. Having the joint account also sent a clear message to my coworkers. 10 years later, those lines are still drawn and I am very comfortable with where they are. It's about me being honest and accountable.
So no abuse, just fallout from the Petri dish that I assume most teaching hospitals are.
A married 19 year old doing in a teaching hospital getting asked out for drinks.
Alex, I will take "Making this *kitten* up as as I go for 1,000"
Or maybe you are Doogie Howser.
Try unit clerk during nursing school. And yes, I was married at 19.
So neither "No, I am married" or "No, I am underage" didn't cut it in a way a joint facebook account did?
Ok!
"Hey baby, want to get drinks and get naked later?"
"No thank you, I have a joint Facebook account."
"Man, that's serious commitment! Sorry to bother you with come-ons."
Hey, I know this is mighty forward of me, but if you don't have a joint facebook account, do you want to hook up in the supply closet? I know you're underage and I don't want to ruin my future providing alcohol to minors.
Also, if you really loved him, you would have a joint Google Plus account.
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Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
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christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
I bet none of those people had joint accounts.0 -
pollypocket1021 wrote: »pollypocket1021 wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »pollypocket1021 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »pollypocket1021 wrote: »barbecuesauce wrote: »85Cardinals wrote: »Y'all are really piling on pollypocket here. After about 40 posts slamming her, I think she's got the idea.
It's a forum. Sometimes people don't read the replies before they post. Didn't see one where she asked for a white knight either.
Lol. I know most people don't approach life or relationships like I do.
But since I'm in a very small minority with regard to interacting with people as a married woman, it would maybe give the OP some perspective on how reasonable his wife is.
And nothing I my original post is exaggerated.
You have respect for your relationship, and your husbands feelings. I totally get where you're coming from
Sure respect, but is that enough?
I'm not married etc so maybe I don't have the right idea.
But what about trust? What about being 2 individuals that are married?
Just seems odd and what polly has said so far, if it sounded one sided it would be setting off alarms with me of an abusive or controlling relationship, but it seems like it's from both people, and polly seems happy about it so who am I to judge.
Maybe I should preface with the fact that I used to work somewhere where married people having affairs with coworkers was the norm. It was openly talked an joked about. There were days when I was asked out for drinks after work before I clocked in.
I didn't want that to become acceptable or normal for me, so I made sure that everything in my life was completely open and transparent to my husband and I drew certain lines in the sand. Having the joint account also sent a clear message to my coworkers. 10 years later, those lines are still drawn and I am very comfortable with where they are. It's about me being honest and accountable.
So no abuse, just fallout from the Petri dish that I assume most teaching hospitals are.
A married 19 year old doing in a teaching hospital getting asked out for drinks.
Alex, I will take "Making this *kitten* up as as I go for 1,000"
Or maybe you are Doogie Howser.
Try unit clerk during nursing school. And yes, I was married at 19.
Explains so much.
Well thank god the random internet people believe me.
Seriously, the point of all of this was that the OPs wife is not alone in how she feels. In fact, it is possible to be even more extreme (and still be happy about it).
If this works for you, great. My experience as a friend with a couple with a joint FB account AND as someone whose ex-husband was very controlling tells me that it doesn't necessarily make a relationship stronger to have to account for every movement. It's not fun to come home and have someone call you on the carpet for a stray comment or off-color joke an opposite-gender friend made. So I would at least consider whether this is an arrangement that BOTH of you are happy with, or if one spouse is being coerced.
Unless equality isn't your thing, of course. Some couples are like that.0 -
christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
And what % of divorces mention phones calls or text messages.
It's just a method of communication. If not face book it would just be another.
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[/quote]
And what % of divorces mention phones calls or text messages.
It's just a method of communication. If not face book it would just be another.
[/quote]
Exactly. If someone wants to cheat-they will find a way. Social media just makes it easier and gives you access to more people.
If you don't want to cheat, however, MFP and other sites-including Facebook- can be a fun way to connect with people around the world that have similar interests.
ETA for stupidity in quoting0 -
christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
Yeah, but "clean eating" was mentioned in 43% of divorce proceedings.
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pollypocket1021 wrote: »I may be alone in this sentiment, but I think it's fair for your wife not to be happy about your female friends and for her to be snoping your account. My husband and I have a joint Facebook account and would have a joint MFP too if it was physically possible.
I have exactly one friend on here who is male. I have a lot of respect for him and he doesn't come around the forums anymore. If not for that specific situation, it would be zero.
Same rules apply in real life. Unless I have to talk to men as a requirement for my job, I don't without my husband present.
If I was your wife, your MFP account would've been deleted long ago.
You have insecurity issues. Joint FBs scream that. *nod*
Some people are just lazy. LOL. It took me years and years to make one because I used it mostly for uploading kid pics.0 -
MamaBirdBoss wrote: »pollypocket1021 wrote: »I may be alone in this sentiment, but I think it's fair for your wife not to be happy about your female friends and for her to be snoping your account. My husband and I have a joint Facebook account and would have a joint MFP too if it was physically possible.
I have exactly one friend on here who is male. I have a lot of respect for him and he doesn't come around the forums anymore. If not for that specific situation, it would be zero.
Same rules apply in real life. Unless I have to talk to men as a requirement for my job, I don't without my husband present.
If I was your wife, your MFP account would've been deleted long ago.
You have insecurity issues. Joint FBs scream that. *nod*
Some people are just lazy. LOL. It took me years and years to make one because I used it mostly for uploading kid pics.
My husband and I have seperate FBs but know eachothers passwords. He's well lazy and makes me log into his to post stuff and respond to invites.0 -
pollypocket1021 wrote: »barbecuesauce wrote: »85Cardinals wrote: »Y'all are really piling on pollypocket here. After about 40 posts slamming her, I think she's got the idea.
It's a forum. Sometimes people don't read the replies before they post. Didn't see one where she asked for a white knight either.
Lol. I know most people don't approach life or relationships like I do.
But since I'm in a very small minority with regard to interacting with people as a married woman, it would maybe give the OP some perspective on how reasonable his wife is.
And nothing I my original post is exaggerated.
I would at least go, OMG, I married a sleazy creeper, ewww.....
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And what % of divorces mention phones calls or text messages.
It's just a method of communication. If not face book it would just be another.
[/quote]
Exactly. If someone wants to cheat-they will find a way. Social media just makes it easier and gives you access to more people.
If you don't want to cheat, however, MFP and other sites-including Facebook- can be a fun way to connect with people around the world that have similar interests.
ETA for stupidity in quoting [/quote]
That's the way I look at it. If I want to hook up, I look at match or eharmony. We are just people looking to lose weight and get fit.0 -
christinev297 wrote: »Cryptonomnomicon wrote: »I've always viewed MFP as my opportunity to talk about fitness and diet as much as I want with like-minded people. I never really thought about it from a male/female perspective as I don't have extremely personal conversations with my MFP friends.
Are all the girls young, half-naked and "flirting" with you or something? If your intentions were innocent and you keep it relevant to MFP- I just don't see the big deal here.
I don't see why "being young" is a requisite for being "half-naked and "flirting" with you or something?"
but the rest is true.
I was thinking more of guys who creep on the young ones. Or some immodest ladies I can think of from my old Instagram. I should have said "young, half-naked OR flirting..." I do not think one implies the other-we are capable of ridiculousness at every age! No insult intended.
I've seen some young and not so young forum members, who's profile pics looks like they are auditioning for a strippers job :noway:
How is my trout-lip pout not relevant to weight loss?
Seriously, I have no face pics to keep the creepers away. :P0 -
christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
Yeah, but "clean eating" was mentioned in 43% of divorce proceedings.
:laugh:
No that I clean eat, but hubby and I have had plenty of "disagreements" about me not wanting to dive heard first into a supersize bag of chips and chocolate because I'm watching what I eat. Weighing my food particularly drive him nuts!!itsfuntobenormal wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
I bet none of those people had joint accounts.
I'd never thought about why people had joint accounts.. I always thought that it was to easier keep in touch with mutual friends. But now I see, It's to keep a closer eye on each other...
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Do people use Facebook in any kind of real way anymore, though? I know I'm rarely there, and I don't see a lot of personal disclosure on people's posts on my feed. Photos, articles, that's about it, I don't even see much commenting. I know that a lot could be going on via private messages, but the level of just any kind of engagement seems to be dropping off among people I know (ages 26-40). I'm not on other social media (other than this place), but I guess Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and whatever I'm missing are where people go.
As far as people go, I think maybe there's a period from say 28 to 35 or so, where people get nostalgic / curious about university and high school crushes and whatnot. That's also often ~5-9 years into their first or second major long-term relationship, i.e. the time people get bored with their partners.
So if bored / frustrated people are getting nostalgic, and Facebook makes it easy for them to find familiar old crushes, yeah I can see that helping cheating along. (But as I say, I don't think people really go to FB these days, or do they?)0 -
Anyway, I see where @pollypocket1021 is coming from in that I use my husband as a dude-blocker all the time. I thought being chubby would stop it, but nooooooooooooope. I've got my shoot-downs and come-backs, ranging from super-polite to completely direct, but some people are @#$@ persistent, so it's very nice to have a fallback. "Dude. Married. 3 kids. Does that mean NOTHING to you?"
Yeah, apparently it means to some people that they'll have a better chance batting out of their league.
I stopped referencing my kids to get guys to go away when I discovered that it just make most of them happy because they thought that might make me desperate enough to be interested in them.
I love the way I look, but objectively speaking, I'm terminally cute rather than gorgeous. So I don't know what the interest is from.0 -
MamaBirdBoss wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Cryptonomnomicon wrote: »I've always viewed MFP as my opportunity to talk about fitness and diet as much as I want with like-minded people. I never really thought about it from a male/female perspective as I don't have extremely personal conversations with my MFP friends.
Are all the girls young, half-naked and "flirting" with you or something? If your intentions were innocent and you keep it relevant to MFP- I just don't see the big deal here.
I don't see why "being young" is a requisite for being "half-naked and "flirting" with you or something?"
but the rest is true.
I was thinking more of guys who creep on the young ones. Or some immodest ladies I can think of from my old Instagram. I should have said "young, half-naked OR flirting..." I do not think one implies the other-we are capable of ridiculousness at every age! No insult intended.
I've seen some young and not so young forum members, who's profile pics looks like they are auditioning for a strippers job :noway:
How is my trout-lip pout not relevant to weight loss?
Seriously, I have no face pics to keep the creepers away. :P
Just a guess but aren't most creepers interesting in other body parts?
Like feet etc
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christinev297 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
Yeah, but "clean eating" was mentioned in 43% of divorce proceedings.
:laugh:
No that I clean eat, but hubby and I have had plenty of "disagreements" about me not wanting to dive heard first into a supersize bag of chips and chocolate because I'm watching what I eat. Weighing my food particularly drive him nuts!!itsfuntobenormal wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Speaking of Fu*kbook.....
There was a snippet in the news a few months back stating "Facebook was mentioned in 17% of divorce proceedings"
I bet none of those people had joint accounts.
I'd never thought about why people had joint accounts.. I always thought that it was to easier keep in touch with mutual friends. But now I see, It's to keep a closer eye on each other...
People who use it mainly to stay in contact with family and not really for socializing most often have joint accounts. I see that a lot.0 -
MamaBirdBoss wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Cryptonomnomicon wrote: »I've always viewed MFP as my opportunity to talk about fitness and diet as much as I want with like-minded people. I never really thought about it from a male/female perspective as I don't have extremely personal conversations with my MFP friends.
Are all the girls young, half-naked and "flirting" with you or something? If your intentions were innocent and you keep it relevant to MFP- I just don't see the big deal here.
I don't see why "being young" is a requisite for being "half-naked and "flirting" with you or something?"
but the rest is true.
I was thinking more of guys who creep on the young ones. Or some immodest ladies I can think of from my old Instagram. I should have said "young, half-naked OR flirting..." I do not think one implies the other-we are capable of ridiculousness at every age! No insult intended.
I've seen some young and not so young forum members, who's profile pics looks like they are auditioning for a strippers job :noway:
How is my trout-lip pout not relevant to weight loss?
Seriously, I have no face pics to keep the creepers away. :P
Just a guess but aren't most creepers interesting in other body parts?
Like feet etc
Eeewww I hate feet!
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maybe this is a bit liberal for you, but why is requesting a guy so weird? Do you feel like it's gay? Because if that's the case... you're married to a woman, I can pretty much guarantee other men aren't going to assume anything if you add them. If you have another reason for it being weird.... honestly I can't think of any other reasons... but that's just my 2 cents0
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maybe this is a bit liberal for you, but why is requesting a guy so weird? Do you feel like it's gay? Because if that's the case... you're married to a woman, I can pretty much guarantee other men aren't going to assume anything if you add them. If you have another reason for it being weird.... honestly I can't think of any other reasons... but that's just my 2 cents
it definitely seems like some form of homophobia0
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