Adding MFP Friends as a married guy
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rushbabe0214 wrote: »I have a few married male friends on here and whenever I see their feeds it's all girls going "hiiii sweetie" and "u look so good babe" and stuff like that, so if my husband were on here I'd be careful about his friends list as well. I don't know who these chicks are who can't act decent but...they're all over this site.
Since when is posting an innocuous comment such as 'Hi babe' or 'Great job handsome' on a male friend's profile or status not "acting decent". Harmless flirting with someone does not mean I want to jump in bed with them. Most adults understand that.
Ninety percent of my FL is male, most of them are married. They're great guys! I don't see a problem with it and neither does my husband.
Sure, that's harmless flirting, but flirting is not ok in all relationships.
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Yeah. My fiancée isn't a big fan of it.kshama2001 wrote: »rushbabe0214 wrote: »I have a few married male friends on here and whenever I see their feeds it's all girls going "hiiii sweetie" and "u look so good babe" and stuff like that, so if my husband were on here I'd be careful about his friends list as well. I don't know who these chicks are who can't act decent but...they're all over this site.
Since when is posting an innocuous comment such as 'Hi babe' or 'Great job handsome' on a male friend's profile or status not "acting decent". Harmless flirting with someone does not mean I want to jump in bed with them. Most adults understand that.
Ninety percent of my FL is male, most of them are married. They're great guys! I don't see a problem with it and neither does my husband.
Sure, that's harmless flirting, but flirting is not ok in all relationships.
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rushbabe0214 wrote: »I have a few married male friends on here and whenever I see their feeds it's all girls going "hiiii sweetie" and "u look so good babe" and stuff like that, so if my husband were on here I'd be careful about his friends list as well. I don't know who these chicks are who can't act decent but...they're all over this site.
Since when is posting an innocuous comment such as 'Hi babe' or 'Great job handsome' on a male friend's profile or status not "acting decent". Harmless flirting with someone does not mean I want to jump in bed with them. Most adults understand that.
Ninety percent of my FL is male, most of them are married. They're great guys! I don't see a problem with it and neither does my husband.
It's completely outside of my norm so I admit it would make me pause to see that on my husband's profile (if he had one.)0 -
KisforKrista wrote: »nora_gettingfitnow wrote: »KisforKrista wrote: »This may not be a dating site, but it sure doesn't stop some people from using it as such.
You'll always get the ones that can't take it seriously, the downside is there is generally always someone that will respond to their nonsense so it continues but they are easily deleted
My personal favorites are the ones who get mad at you.
Start asking you all kinds of questions like what do you do for work and fun, Etc and then when they get an answer they don't like, insult you and get mad.
Once i had a guy ask me if i was girly and i said not really, im not exactly the type to go and get my nails done or dress up in girly clothing, and he got mad at me for not getting my nails done LOL.. said i was boring and not sexy.
OMG That's happened to me too!
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My partner trusts me, and really doesn't care. He knows if he actually wanted to, maybe has a feeling one day, he could see my messages, no questions asked. So far, he hasn't wanted to but if he ever did, I guarantee he'll find nothing to worry about. Same goes for his account. I haven't asked. Even though I see a lot of lovely ladies on his, doesn't mean anything is going on with them!0
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This site is definitely used as a dating/cheating site for A LOT of people. And just trust me on how I know this. I was on here before when I was single and I saw a lot of it. I have seen marriages ruined because of mfp as well. I guess you have to go with your gut. If you wouldn't like your spouse doing it, then don't do it. I got back on here a few months ago and I'm extremely careful not to be so nieve now.0
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This thread delivers for a dreaded Monday. Well done everyon!
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rushbabe0214 wrote: »I have a few married male friends on here and whenever I see their feeds it's all girls going "hiiii sweetie" and "u look so good babe" and stuff like that, so if my husband were on here I'd be careful about his friends list as well. I don't know who these chicks are who can't act decent but...they're all over this site.
Since when is posting an innocuous comment such as 'Hi babe' or 'Great job handsome' on a male friend's profile or status not "acting decent". Harmless flirting with someone does not mean I want to jump in bed with them. Most adults understand that.
I'd have a problem if I saw a female using this sort of language with my boyfriend. He'd have a problem with a male using this sort of language with me. Why flirt if you're taken or if you know the person you're talking to is taken? There are a lot of words I could use to compliment someone's progress and appearance without making it sound flirty. "Hey, impressive gains," or "great progress!" is the same sort of compliment, but is a lot more appropriate than "u look so good babe."
IMO - I don't see the problem with having people of the opposite sex on your FL. But if your wife is trully bothered by it, her concerns trump any of our opinions.
ETA: Before you make the argument that this is just a harmless website and nobody here is actually going to jump into bed with each other because of a little flirting...
Yeah, my BF and I met on a site not terribly different from MFP.0 -
I bet you are not the only married guy on here with the same thoughts friend request the guys I am sure in general there are more females than males on here anyway we are definitely a different species i think it would probably really help you to have more men as fitness friends training buddies0
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Sometimes I will look over my bf's shoulder when he is checking his Facebook, but only because his newsfeed is a lot more entertaining than mine. We both have a good mix of male and female friends and it doesn't bother either one of us. He's not on MFP and knows that I have friends on here, but he has never asked me any questions about any of them.0
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Share the postings from your female friends with your wife so she can become more comfortable with you participating. Talk about it more with her. Does she have any reason for not trusting you having more female friends? Talk about that too if it is the case. Props to you for even caring what she thinks as well.mjtranter65 wrote: »Wow, I have never posted anything before, and the only hope was to collect MFP friends. The opinions range from toxic date site blah, blah to actual guys that know what I'm saying. To those, thanks. To the others, get back on the treadmill or whatever and relieve some of that pent up tension.
Thanks. I guess this attempt was in the least interesting, and somewhat successful.
I suggest you state in your profile, you are looking for friends who are into {whatever your goals are.} To limit adding more females, state in your profile you are only accepting invites from guys, out of respect for your wife.
You could also try posting in some of the groups that address your goals. If your interesting in weight lifting try the Eat, Train, Progress group. You will find others with similar goals, viewpoints etc. then simply send a friend request with a message saying, 'We seem to have the same goals, lets be pals."
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You must be unaware of what goes on here at MFP… [/quote]
I'm unaware...what does go on? Because it hasn't been going on with my group of friends so I am feeling a bit left out of whatever it is LOL...oh just saw the earlier response to what goes on....oh my!0 -
booksandchocolate12 wrote: »My husband has no idea who I am "online friends" with. And I have no idea who his online friends are. And we're both OK with that. We've been married 24 years. We don't need to be up each other's *kitten* 24/7.
^^^^This, only hubby and I have been together for 40 years now.0 -
I got 30lbs to lose, i'm completely serious about losing. I'll send a request.mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.0 -
Feel free to add me...Always up for new friends...Mine is getting full, and have been deleting slowly...I have several female friends on mine, many more than dudes...I add them and if they communicate they stay...I dont care what you look like, what sex you are, I just hope for some motivation or a kick in the *kitten* from time to time, as I will do the same.0
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I'm not sure what's happening in this thread, but I'm glad that I took the time to read the entire thing. I think.
What's the "acceptable" minimum for number of male friends anyway?0 -
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thesupremeforce wrote: »I'm not sure what's happening in this thread, but I'm glad that I took the time to read the entire thing. I think.
What's the "acceptable" minimum for number of male friends anyway?
42
The answer is always 42
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UltimateRBF wrote: »Here OP you want this section of the forums
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/chit-chat-fun-and-games
*shudder, sanitizes hands*
I always wondered what that was all about - I just though it was folks being silly.
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christinev297 wrote: »UltimateRBF wrote: »Here OP you want this section of the forums
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/chit-chat-fun-and-games
*shudder, sanitizes hands*
oh no you didn't!
You just contaminated this thread :laugh:
Hahahahaha exactly! Go wash you hands immediately!0 -
ceoverturf wrote: »thesupremeforce wrote: »I'm not sure what's happening in this thread, but I'm glad that I took the time to read the entire thing. I think.
What's the "acceptable" minimum for number of male friends anyway?
42
The answer is always 42
What do you get when you multiply six by nine?
Exactly!0 -
mariannekehl wrote: »UltimateRBF wrote: »Here OP you want this section of the forums
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/chit-chat-fun-and-games
*shudder, sanitizes hands*
I always wondered what that was all about - I just though it was folks being silly.
This section of the forums is why you'll see people post who have no idea what they're talking about and yet will still show a "Posts:" number with four digits or so.0 -
FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »kyrannosaurus wrote: »What's weird about that? Your wife needs to worry less. Plenty of men have lots of female friends (online and in real life). It doesn't mean anything at all!
You must be unaware of what goes on here at MFP…
exactly ^^^^ No offense but I just choose to add only women because Im a woman. and I have goals that relate to them as well...and most of all respect for my husband.
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asflatasapancake wrote: »Dicky_Seamus wrote: »Both of you should work 5x5 Trust Curls into your routine, brah. No rest between sets.
(...and people say gays are destroying the sanctity of marriage....oi....)
Strong first post.
OP, I'm a dude who is serious about staying in shape. Add me if you wish. That way your wife will be less likely to delete your account.
Lol! A brother in arms, stepping up for defence, haha0 -
rushbabe0214 wrote: »I have a few married male friends on here and whenever I see their feeds it's all girls going "hiiii sweetie" and "u look so good babe" and stuff like that, so if my husband were on here I'd be careful about his friends list as well. I don't know who these chicks are who can't act decent but...they're all over this site.
Since when is posting an innocuous comment such as 'Hi babe' or 'Great job handsome' on a male friend's profile or status not "acting decent". Harmless flirting with someone does not mean I want to jump in bed with them. Most adults understand that.
Ninety percent of my FL is male, most of them are married. They're great guys! I don't see a problem with it and neither does my husband.
It's completely outside of my norm so I admit it would make me pause to see that on my husband's profile (if he had one.)
Yes, I get what you're saying. I've been on and off MFP for over three years and that's just the way my friends list has always operated. It's fun and completely harmless. I even use flirtatious language with the females on my list and they do the same.
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460mustang wrote: »460mustang wrote: »This is getting good, maybe someday you'll figure it out.
Actually I had planned to lose weight on MFP by myself, without any friends, but then a few asked me to be friends and I accepted, then I decided to ask a few to become friends, including guys, but I have to say it was harder for me to ask the guys than it was the women. I was more afraid of the guys turning me down than the women, if that makes sense!
I think so. I think men often create friendships by doing stuff together. They kind of fall into it, over time. Asking another man to be a friend - instead of just going to a bar together in a group - might feel like being on the playground and having to ask to join in on a game. Maybe there's an element of peer pressure or anxiety about peer evaluations.
(And I wonder if the MFP bromances start out like that (ie by "doing stuff together"), with men talking in the same threads for a while before one of them sends the request.)
Meanwhile, men are used to asking women for stuff
(There is also the possibility that some men think the views other men have of them are more important than women's views, just because they're coming from men, but I am not going to assume that right now.)
Yes, I need to have similar interests or I don't talk.
I think a lot of men are like that
I appreciate your offering your experience, it's interesting to hear 0 -
This may be my first forum post but I get what OP is saying...well to a degree. I don't have many friends (okay I have 1) and was reading through the forums and found someone I wanted to add as a friend (he was offering help on something) but he was good looking and I was self conscious and didn't want anyone to think I was trolling MFP. So I didn't hit the friends request button.
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When I was younger, I may have had a different outlook on the subject. I wasn't so secure then. But I'm 52 and have been with my husband for 25 years. We trust one another. I leave MFP open on my desktop computer All. The. Time. If he wanted to, he could see all my activity including PMs, anytime he wanted. He doesn't check up on me. I don't check up on him. We're good.0
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My husband uses MFP -- people (male and female) flirt with me on my wall. Imagine that you can be married, committed and happy while also enjoying attention from others. Really, it's not all that easy to slip into adulterous relationships -- we all know there's a difference in somebody saying "Hey you look good" and somebody trying to get you to meet them. If you stink at boundaries, you stink at boundaries but don't project that out onto everyone.0
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This may be my first forum post but I get what OP is saying...well to a degree. I don't have many friends (okay I have 1) and was reading through the forums and found someone I wanted to add as a friend (he was offering help on something) but he was good looking and I was self conscious and didn't want anyone to think I was trolling MFP. So I didn't hit the friends request button.
There's a place to put a message when you send a friend request, so you can say something like "Hi, I saw you offering help on the forums and I'd like to take you up on that as I'm having trouble with ______" or "I noticed your post on the forum where you said you're starting C25K and want some friends who are doing it too, and I just started yesterday", etc etc etc. Then you don't have to worry about someone misinterpreting you.0
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