Adding MFP Friends as a married guy

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  • 460mustang
    460mustang Posts: 196 Member
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    mjtranter65 wrote: »
    So....here is the issue:
    I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.

    Thanks....i hope.

    Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,459 Member
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    460mustang wrote: »
    mjtranter65 wrote: »
    So....here is the issue:
    I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.

    Thanks....i hope.

    Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.

    Really?
  • 460mustang
    460mustang Posts: 196 Member
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    tomatoey wrote: »
    460mustang wrote: »
    mjtranter65 wrote: »
    So....here is the issue:
    I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.

    Thanks....i hope.

    Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.

    Really?

    Yup, really!
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,459 Member
    edited July 2015
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    460mustang wrote: »
    tomatoey wrote: »
    460mustang wrote: »
    mjtranter65 wrote: »
    So....here is the issue:
    I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.

    Thanks....i hope.

    Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.

    Really?

    Yup, really!

    Not even like with a "sup bro, awesome PR, totally not hitting on you" or "Hi. Also a marathoner. Interested in your comments in thread dated 12/07"?
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    edited July 2015
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    tomatoey wrote: »
    460mustang wrote: »
    mjtranter65 wrote: »
    So....here is the issue:
    I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.

    Thanks....i hope.

    Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.

    Really?

    No, not really. I've gotten all kinds of FRs from dudes. And there are a few on here who are clearly in deep bromances amongst themselves.
  • barbecuesauce
    barbecuesauce Posts: 1,779 Member
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    460mustang wrote: »
    mjtranter65 wrote: »
    So....here is the issue:
    I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.

    Thanks....i hope.

    Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.

    I can't believe the gender that whips their genitalia out to urinate in full view of others is so afraid of looking gay I just cannot believe it
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    edited July 2015
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    barbecuesauce wrote: »
    460mustang wrote: »
    mjtranter65 wrote: »
    So....here is the issue:
    I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.

    Thanks....i hope.

    Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.

    I can't believe the gender that whips their genitalia out to urinate in full view of others is so afraid of looking gay I just cannot believe it

    :laugh: :love:

    And don't try telling us y'all don't take a peak at the guy in the stall next to you :tongue:
  • jonsmithkidd
    jonsmithkidd Posts: 1,204 Member
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    I'm a married man, my wife is on MFP and we both have a mixture of male and female friends. I wouldn't think any more about adding a male friend than a female friend. I think the fact that it's a fitness site, people you are friends with on here are just people who you can support and motivate to hit their goals and vice versa, and hopefully get some friendly advice. Just try and see it as gender neutral :-)...Oh, and feel free to add me.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,459 Member
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    Mr_Knight wrote: »
    tomatoey wrote: »
    460mustang wrote: »
    mjtranter65 wrote: »
    So....here is the issue:
    I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.

    Thanks....i hope.

    Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.

    Really?

    No, not really. I've gotten all kinds of FRs from dudes. And there are a few on here who are clearly in deep bromances amongst themselves.

    Lol yes true, I've seen some of that. Ok that's a relief.
    barbecuesauce wrote: »
    460mustang wrote: »
    mjtranter65 wrote: »
    So....here is the issue:
    I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.

    Thanks....i hope.

    Okay, I'll say it! It's because guys don't ask other guys to become friends. It's a macho thing, and women can debate it all they want. It's just the way it is.

    I can't believe the gender that whips their genitalia out to urinate in full view of others is so afraid of looking gay I just cannot believe it

    Lol - maybe it's just 460mustang and the OP
  • 460mustang
    460mustang Posts: 196 Member
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    This is getting good, maybe someday you'll figure it out.
    Actually I had planned to lose weight on MFP by myself, without any friends, but then a few asked me to be friends and I accepted, then I decided to ask a few to become friends, including guys, but I have to say it was harder for me to ask the guys than it was the women. I was more afraid of the guys turning me down than the women, if that makes sense!
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    sun_tzu wrote: »
    I think you are due some serious kudos for respecting your wife in this way. It is not about what everyone here thinks is right or not, it is about what the two of you think that matters.

    If my wife had concerns with anything I was doing, or who I was doing it with, I would stop immediately.
    Okay... But if that was his goal, he's not stopping though. He's adding dudes so the list doesn't look female dominant. If he were really trying to appease his wife in this manner, he would need to delete all the chicks on his list. Not saying that he has to. Just sayin'
    mjtranter65 wrote: »
    Wow, I have never posted anything before, and the only hope was to collect MFP friends. The opinions range from toxic date site blah, blah to actual guys that know what I'm saying. To those, thanks. To the others, get back on the treadmill or whatever and relieve some of that pent up tension.
    Thanks. I guess this attempt was in the least interesting, and somewhat successful.

    But nobody made you include all that context - now you're mad folks found it interesting and commented? All you had to do was say "hey, I'm looking for new friends, possibly mainly males that have the same goals as I do. I love dead lifts and squats and looking at my huge biceps in the mirror. The End". Heck you can still create a new post and say that

  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,459 Member
    edited July 2015
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    460mustang wrote: »
    This is getting good, maybe someday you'll figure it out.
    Actually I had planned to lose weight on MFP by myself, without any friends, but then a few asked me to be friends and I accepted, then I decided to ask a few to become friends, including guys, but I have to say it was harder for me to ask the guys than it was the women. I was more afraid of the guys turning me down than the women, if that makes sense!

    I think so. I think men often create friendships by doing stuff together. They kind of fall into it, over time. Asking another man to be a friend - instead of just going to a bar together in a group - might feel like being on the playground and having to ask to join in on a game. Maybe there's an element of peer pressure or anxiety about peer evaluations.

    (And I wonder if the MFP bromances start out like that (ie by "doing stuff together"), with men talking in the same threads for a while before one of them sends the request.)

    Meanwhile, men are used to asking women for stuff ;)

    (There is also the possibility that some men think the views other men have of them are more important than women's views, just because they're coming from men, but I am not going to assume that right now.)
  • 460mustang
    460mustang Posts: 196 Member
    edited July 2015
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    tomatoey wrote: »
    460mustang wrote: »
    This is getting good, maybe someday you'll figure it out.
    Actually I had planned to lose weight on MFP by myself, without any friends, but then a few asked me to be friends and I accepted, then I decided to ask a few to become friends, including guys, but I have to say it was harder for me to ask the guys than it was the women. I was more afraid of the guys turning me down than the women, if that makes sense!

    I think so. I think men often create friendships by doing stuff together. They kind of fall into it, over time. Asking another man to be a friend - instead of just going to a bar together in a group - might feel like being on the playground and having to ask to join in on a game. Maybe there's an element of peer pressure or anxiety about peer evaluations.

    (And I wonder if the MFP bromances start out like that (ie by "doing stuff together"), with men talking in the same threads for a while before one of them sends the request.)

    Meanwhile, men are used to asking women for stuff ;)

    (There is also the possibility that some men think the views other men have of them are more important than women's views, just because they're coming from men, but I am not going to assume that right now.)

    Yes, I need to have similar interests or I don't talk.
  • rawk_fairy_666
    rawk_fairy_666 Posts: 103 Member
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    I feel a bit sad for the people who have so little trust between them that they can't have friends on here of the opposite sex. my partner would never check my mfp, or think there was any reason for me to have only female friends because he trusts me. I have earned that trust through 7 years of fidelity.

    I'm on here to lose weight, which is clear from my 33lb weight loss! He trusts that I'm not interested in the 'other side' of mfp.
  • dawniemate
    dawniemate Posts: 395 Member
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    Sounds like you need to grow a pair and tell your wife to stay out of your business! !! Such a sad post
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    This thread is weird
  • dawniemate
    dawniemate Posts: 395 Member
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    dawniemate wrote: »
    Sounds like you need to grow a pair and tell your wife to stay out of your business! !! Such a sad post

    Totally
  • dawniemate
    dawniemate Posts: 395 Member
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    rabbitjb wrote: »
    This thread is weird

    Totally
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    I have male friends. In real life, I've always had more male friends than female friends. That happens when you like spiders, snakes, and science class. My husband has female friends. I don't worry about it.

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