Adding MFP Friends as a married guy
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FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »kyrannosaurus wrote: »What's weird about that? Your wife needs to worry less. Plenty of men have lots of female friends (online and in real life). It doesn't mean anything at all!
You must be unaware of what goes on here at MFP…FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »OP: This sounds like a personal problem. You have male friends in real life, I'm assuming. Assuming you have Facebook or other social media, surely you've requested males there before. So why is it weird to send a male a friend request on MFP? This is a fitness website; if you request a male, they aren't going to think you're hitting on them. Trust me. However, I can't say the same for some of the women here. If you stick around long enough, you'll understand what I mean.
I take exception to your repeated inference that there is hanky-panky going on at MFP. I have both male and female friends here. I have never propositioned nor been propositioned here (in a year) so I can only assume you get back what you put out.
My friends on MFP (male and female) are supportive and respectful.
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Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
So... should I have skipped including the d!ck pics when I sent you a friend request?
Shhhhh.... somebody might think you're gay!
That's just the WORST.0 -
pollypocket1021 wrote: »barbecuesauce wrote: »85Cardinals wrote: »Y'all are really piling on pollypocket here. After about 40 posts slamming her, I think she's got the idea.
It's a forum. Sometimes people don't read the replies before they post. Didn't see one where she asked for a white knight either.
Lol. I know most people don't approach life or relationships like I do.
But since I'm in a very small minority with regard to interacting with people as a married woman, it would maybe give the OP some perspective on how reasonable his wife is.
And nothing I my original post is exaggerated.
You have respect for your relationship, and your husbands feelings. I totally get where you're coming from
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FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »kyrannosaurus wrote: »What's weird about that? Your wife needs to worry less. Plenty of men have lots of female friends (online and in real life). It doesn't mean anything at all!
You must be unaware of what goes on here at MFP…FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »OP: This sounds like a personal problem. You have male friends in real life, I'm assuming. Assuming you have Facebook or other social media, surely you've requested males there before. So why is it weird to send a male a friend request on MFP? This is a fitness website; if you request a male, they aren't going to think you're hitting on them. Trust me. However, I can't say the same for some of the women here. If you stick around long enough, you'll understand what I mean.
I take exception to your repeated inference that there is hanky-panky going on at MFP. I have both male and female friends here. I have never propositioned nor been propositioned here (in a year) so I can only assume you get back what you put out.
My friends on MFP (male and female) are supportive and respectful.
Just coz it doesn't happen to you, doesn't mean it doesn't happen! Just sayin' - If MFP was a hotel room, I wouldn't want to be turnin' on a black-light.0 -
Cryptonomnomicon wrote: »I've always viewed MFP as my opportunity to talk about fitness and diet as much as I want with like-minded people. I never really thought about it from a male/female perspective as I don't have extremely personal conversations with my MFP friends.
Are all the girls young, half-naked and "flirting" with you or something? If your intentions were innocent and you keep it relevant to MFP- I just don't see the big deal here.
I don't see why "being young" is a requisite for being "half-naked and "flirting" with you or something?"
but the rest is true.
I was thinking more of guys who creep on the young ones. Or some immodest ladies I can think of from my old Instagram. I should have said "young, half-naked OR flirting..." I do not think one implies the other-we are capable of ridiculousness at every age! No insult intended.
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itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »mjtranter65 wrote: »So....here is the issue:
I have an imbalance of female MFP friends to male. My wife (who is not part of MFP) thinks its a bit weird (me too, I guess). The reason I have not requested male MFP friends is because it seems weird to ask because, well, just because. There are some guys that have really similar self improvement and similar goals, but I suppose the issue is that requesting is weird. That said, if your a dude and are serious about getting (and staying) fit, please add me.
Thanks....i hope.
So... should I have skipped including the d!ck pics when I sent you a friend request?
Shhhhh.... somebody might think you're gay!
That's just the WORST.
I know - but it's okay because...
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Cryptonomnomicon wrote: »I've always viewed MFP as my opportunity to talk about fitness and diet as much as I want with like-minded people. I never really thought about it from a male/female perspective as I don't have extremely personal conversations with my MFP friends.
Are all the girls young, half-naked and "flirting" with you or something? If your intentions were innocent and you keep it relevant to MFP- I just don't see the big deal here.
I don't see why "being young" is a requisite for being "half-naked and "flirting" with you or something?"
but the rest is true.
I was thinking more of guys who creep on the young ones. Or some immodest ladies I can think of from my old Instagram. I should have said "young, half-naked OR flirting..." I do not think one implies the other-we are capable of ridiculousness at every age! No insult intended.
I've seen some young and not so young forum members, who's profile pics looks like they are auditioning for a strippers job :noway:
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mjtranter65 wrote: »Wow, I have never posted anything before, and the only hope was to collect MFP friends. The opinions range from toxic date site blah, blah to actual guys that know what I'm saying. To those, thanks. To the others, get back on the treadmill or whatever and relieve some of that pent up tension.
Thanks. I guess this attempt was in the least interesting, and somewhat successful.
What exactly ARE you saying? It's really not very clear.
I'm not understanding how gender or marital status are relevant to anything. If you find someone interesting and have things in common, add that person as a friend.
If you don't want to flirt--don't. I have several married male friends and it would never occur to me to do anything with them other than to discuss exercise and diet.
Why would requesting friendship from another man be creepy? Does your homophobia really run that deep?
Joint accounts are odd...I really don't understand married couples who can't maintain their own individual identities.0 -
christinev297 wrote: »Cryptonomnomicon wrote: »I've always viewed MFP as my opportunity to talk about fitness and diet as much as I want with like-minded people. I never really thought about it from a male/female perspective as I don't have extremely personal conversations with my MFP friends.
Are all the girls young, half-naked and "flirting" with you or something? If your intentions were innocent and you keep it relevant to MFP- I just don't see the big deal here.
I don't see why "being young" is a requisite for being "half-naked and "flirting" with you or something?"
but the rest is true.
I was thinking more of guys who creep on the young ones. Or some immodest ladies I can think of from my old Instagram. I should have said "young, half-naked OR flirting..." I do not think one implies the other-we are capable of ridiculousness at every age! No insult intended.
I've seen some young and not so young forum members, who's profile pics looks like they are auditioning for a strippers job :noway:
Agreed. And I've had quite a few creepos as friends before I deleted them and got more picky about who's requests I accept. They're everywhere. Such is life0 -
christinev297 wrote: »Cryptonomnomicon wrote: »I've always viewed MFP as my opportunity to talk about fitness and diet as much as I want with like-minded people. I never really thought about it from a male/female perspective as I don't have extremely personal conversations with my MFP friends.
Are all the girls young, half-naked and "flirting" with you or something? If your intentions were innocent and you keep it relevant to MFP- I just don't see the big deal here.
I don't see why "being young" is a requisite for being "half-naked and "flirting" with you or something?"
but the rest is true.
I was thinking more of guys who creep on the young ones. Or some immodest ladies I can think of from my old Instagram. I should have said "young, half-naked OR flirting..." I do not think one implies the other-we are capable of ridiculousness at every age! No insult intended.
I've seen some young and not so young forum members, who's profile pics looks like they are auditioning for a strippers job :noway:
Oh boy. I can see this is going to turn out well.
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I'm both amazed and discouraged at the sheer amount of unmitigated insanity in the form of jealousy portrayed in this thread. Seriously, stop worrying about male or female and pick your friends/contacts based upon whether you find them interesting and/or think you might have something in common with him/her.
And, to those that are so crazy as to think that being married means you should have 'joint' accounts on social media and/or any similar type sites: *Sigh*. This sentiment is what causes so many problems in our society. Humans weren't meant to live like that. Monogamy is already a stretch from our biological nature -- making it worse by taking away individuality is just going to cause significant problems for MOST people.
As far as my own personal feeling, I tend to gravitate towards female and gay male friends both here and on most social media because I find them more interesting than straight men like me. Whether other men like me choose to admit it or not, I daresay that I'm not in the minority.0 -
christinev297 wrote: »pollypocket1021 wrote: »barbecuesauce wrote: »85Cardinals wrote: »Y'all are really piling on pollypocket here. After about 40 posts slamming her, I think she's got the idea.
It's a forum. Sometimes people don't read the replies before they post. Didn't see one where she asked for a white knight either.
Lol. I know most people don't approach life or relationships like I do.
But since I'm in a very small minority with regard to interacting with people as a married woman, it would maybe give the OP some perspective on how reasonable his wife is.
And nothing I my original post is exaggerated.
You have respect for your relationship, and your husbands feelings. I totally get where you're coming from
Sure respect, but is that enough?
I'm not married etc so maybe I don't have the right idea.
But what about trust? What about being 2 individuals that are married?
Just seems odd and what polly has said so far, if it sounded one sided it would be setting off alarms with me of an abusive or controlling relationship, but it seems like it's from both people, and polly seems happy about it so who am I to judge.
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Homophobia, relationships founded on distrust pretending to be "respect", agism, strippers, cries for women to be modest.
Thanks for delivering, forums.0 -
itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Homophobia, relationships founded on distrust pretending to be "respect", agism, strippers, cries for women to be modest.
Thanks for delivering, forums.
I got a Sunday night BINGO.0 -
itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Homophobia, relationships founded on distrust pretending to be "respect", agism, strippers, cries for women to be modest.
Thanks for delivering, forums.
Right? I don't have t.v. so I gots my entertainment for the night.0 -
itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Homophobia, relationships founded on distrust pretending to be "respect", agism, strippers, cries for women to be modest.
Thanks for delivering, forums.
I got a Sunday night BINGO.
Darn it! I was waiting on "men and women can't be friends cause SEXY time".0 -
christinev297 wrote: »pollypocket1021 wrote: »barbecuesauce wrote: »85Cardinals wrote: »Y'all are really piling on pollypocket here. After about 40 posts slamming her, I think she's got the idea.
It's a forum. Sometimes people don't read the replies before they post. Didn't see one where she asked for a white knight either.
Lol. I know most people don't approach life or relationships like I do.
But since I'm in a very small minority with regard to interacting with people as a married woman, it would maybe give the OP some perspective on how reasonable his wife is.
And nothing I my original post is exaggerated.
You have respect for your relationship, and your husbands feelings. I totally get where you're coming from
Sure respect, but is that enough?
I'm not married etc so maybe I don't have the right idea.
But what about trust? What about being 2 individuals that are married?
Just seems odd and what polly has said so far, if it sounded one sided it would be setting off alarms with me of an abusive or controlling relationship, but it seems like it's from both people, and polly seems happy about it so who am I to judge.
Maybe I should preface with the fact that I used to work somewhere where married people having affairs with coworkers was the norm. It was openly talked an joked about. There were days when I was asked out for drinks after work before I clocked in.
I didn't want that to become acceptable or normal for me, so I made sure that everything in my life was completely open and transparent to my husband and I drew certain lines in the sand. Having the joint account also sent a clear message to my coworkers. 10 years later, those lines are still drawn and I am very comfortable with where they are. It's about me being honest and accountable.
So no abuse, just fallout from the Petri dish that I assume most teaching hospitals are.0 -
Male/Female, we are all here for one reason and that is get as healthy and fit as we can. My hubs does not care if all MFP where male and if he was on this, I wouldn't care if all his MFP where females. Most of his friends are female and I have always gotten along better with males. I am not in high school and I am way to old to play the jealous game. I do understand why some people would be more comfortable with their friends being the same sex but we are all human and we all need friends.0
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First rule of the internet - everybody flirts, pretty much all the time.
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