We broke up because...
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She had too many tattoos of Bertha0
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I was too sick and tired of all this Bertha nonsense! He wasn't getting over that woman.0
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He wouldn't do my math homework, he claimed to be a rebel0
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I messed up, clearly. Also got him the wrong birthday present.
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Kept finding her in other peoples beds0
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Kept telling me mah Starbucks should be "skinny".
Dun mess wit mah coffee biotch!
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I couldn't understand him when he spoke0
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She called me an idiot when I got her. 98% on her homework, then she lit up a doobie0
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He got 98% on a first graders homework....sheesh talk about slow0
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he saw color as an obstacle0
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I was jealous of all the attention he received from other women. They always touch his butt. When I am standing RIGHT there?!?
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Exhaustion0
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He was ironically monikered0
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And had a great sense of humor0
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She wasn't supportive0
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she thought i had a vagina0
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Kept wearing banana hammocks in public0
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Didn't like my Public farting0
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couldn't count pass four0
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Expected me to time him every time so he could try to beat his previous record!0
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Kept track of everything we did and constantly posted achievement records -- I didn't mind on some things but our love life details......0
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He kept asking me to skip the gym...0
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Biceps were bigger than mine0
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He's too possessive0
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Wanted to use me as her punching bag.0
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She kept calling her laptop a Pewter. Drove me crazy!0
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