Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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orangesmartie wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »@orangesmartie....I said...the "L" word.....
I am mortified. BUT to this point, he has chosen to ignore it altogether and texted me about what an idiot one of our coworkers is.
ETA: I did send him a text that said "Immediately after that text, I passed out. Because that's what you call falling asleep after 4+ glasses of wine"
Ooooh the L word! In vino veritas, as they say
Thank God that no matter how drunk I have gotten I never ever say things I really regret. I behave in ways I regret but I don't really get all confessional. I am too worried about the consequences I think. Even when I have had too much to drink.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad
I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function.
My brother hates his ex and was like this at first. Until someone pointed out that he's a grownup man who is hurting his children.
My brother's ex cheated on him with one of his friends and is now marrying him which is why he hates her.
I would hate her too. I am a bit judgemental with regards to cheating when married. If you are going to mess,around outside of marriage behind your wife's back...then just separate. I would so hate being the victim of a cheating spouse that I would never never be the other woman.
I was engaged when my ex cheated- with a chick I KNEW. People make me sick sometimes. Three years later obviously I'm happy I didn't marry the prick but still it almost ruined me at the time.
Anyway I get angry when people say they're not cheating since they're not the one who's married- uhm YES it is it's just as bad!!! It makes me so mad. And disgusted.0 -
ellarishee wrote: »Today I was ridiculously over my calorie goal, but somehow STILL couldn't stop myself from finishing the calorie laden belgian chocolate flapjack in my fridge. (Even though I was 400 calories in the red.) So, instead of making today's logging look even more horrific, I logged 1/2 of the calories in tomorrow's section and 1/2 in Tuesday's so I can make up for it over the course of the week. WHY??
Because Belgian chocolate and logging it that way will help you come out at your calorie goal.for the week. We all have had days like that. It's not the end of the world. It's just a little bump on the weight loss road.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function.
My brother hates his ex and was like this at first. Until someone pointed out that he's a grownup man who is hurting his children.
My brother's ex cheated on him with one of his friends and is now marrying him which is why he hates her.
I would hate her too. I am a bit judgemental with regards to cheating when married. If you are going to mess,around outside of marriage behind your wife's back...then just separate. I would so hate being the victim of a cheating spouse that I would never never be the other woman.
I was engaged when my ex cheated- with a chick I KNEW. People make me sick sometimes. Three years later obviously I'm happy I didn't marry the prick but still it almost ruined me at the time.
Anyway I get angry when people say they're not cheating since they're not the one who's married- uhm YES it is it's just as bad!!! It makes me so mad. And disgusted.
I remember distinctly being a senior in high school telling my friend Caroline's sister, "I'm nit telling you not to go out with Drew because he's Caroline's boyfriend. I'm telling you not to go out with Drew because if he will cheat WITH you, then he will cheat ON you."
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kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »
Now I could understand the weird looks if you were buying stuff like a shovel, tape, saw, gun, knives, etc. but not Slim Fast.
The whole cart was filled with nothing but slimfast, to the point that it was a little hard to turn. Plus one of the kids I help raise was in the store with me. She's 15, 4'11" and about 100 pounds, so I think it may have been people being shocked/judgy. I don't know.. I just smiled and waved (especially at the one woman who was at an isle across and had that stupid open mouthed gape thing going on while she stared...)
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pofoster21 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function.
My brother hates his ex and was like this at first. Until someone pointed out that he's a grownup man who is hurting his children.
My brother's ex cheated on him with one of his friends and is now marrying him which is why he hates her.
I would hate her too. I am a bit judgemental with regards to cheating when married. If you are going to mess,around outside of marriage behind your wife's back...then just separate. I would so hate being the victim of a cheating spouse that I would never never be the other woman.
I was engaged when my ex cheated- with a chick I KNEW. People make me sick sometimes. Three years later obviously I'm happy I didn't marry the prick but still it almost ruined me at the time.
Anyway I get angry when people say they're not cheating since they're not the one who's married- uhm YES it is it's just as bad!!! It makes me so mad. And disgusted.
Totally agree. YOU KNOW he is married/taken. Don't do it. Period.
And yes you are better off.0 -
MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function.
My brother hates his ex and was like this at first. Until someone pointed out that he's a grownup man who is hurting his children.
My brother's ex cheated on him with one of his friends and is now marrying him which is why he hates her.
I would hate her too. I am a bit judgemental with regards to cheating when married. If you are going to mess,around outside of marriage behind your wife's back...then just separate. I would so hate being the victim of a cheating spouse that I would never never be the other woman.
I was engaged when my ex cheated- with a chick I KNEW. People make me sick sometimes. Three years later obviously I'm happy I didn't marry the prick but still it almost ruined me at the time.
Anyway I get angry when people say they're not cheating since they're not the one who's married- uhm YES it is it's just as bad!!! It makes me so mad. And disgusted.
I remember distinctly being a senior in high school telling my friend Caroline's sister, "I'm nit telling you not to go out with Drew because he's Caroline's boyfriend. I'm telling you not to go out with Drew because if he will cheat WITH you, then he will cheat ON you."
Exactly0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »
Now I could understand the weird looks if you were buying stuff like a shovel, tape, saw, gun, knives, etc. but not Slim Fast.
The whole cart was filled with nothing but slimfast, to the point that it was a little hard to turn. Plus one of the kids I help raise was in the store with me. She's 15, 4'11" and about 100 pounds, so I think it may have been people being shocked/judgy. I don't know.. I just smiled and waved (especially at the one woman who was at an isle across and had that stupid open mouthed gape thing going on while she stared...)
For all they knew you were buying it for a group of people for a weight loss retreat. No matter how "judgy" anyone may have been, they don't know anything about in reality so whatever they are judging is a figment of their imagination.
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Italian_Buju wrote: »I went to PetSmart yesterday after about five weeks. So I bought quite a few cans of food, couple months worth. The cashier asked me how many cats I had.....when I said one, he replied, "Um, is it a mountain lion?"
Laugh out load awesomeness! I would have said, Yes and I'll be back for more tomorrow.
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@kelly_c_77 I said 'I really L' not 'I'm really in L' so that's good clarification wise.
My mommy and I were sharing the wine at 8 o'clock in the morning. Because we're cool like that.
I don't think she ever anticipated I would pick up my phone and text someone...let alone SSP.@lilaclovebird If it were me I would not bring it up again. Just let it sit for now. It has been said and an explanation given. Give it time (a month or two or three or more) and see. If this is love and this is mutual love then there is no hurry and waiting *can* make it better if either side has any issues. When I realized I loved SO I almost said it so many times but I held myself back and really examined my motives. When I realized and was sure that I wanted to say it no matter what the response or result, well that was when I said it. I told SO that I have really enjoyed my time with him, how fun and warm and caring he is. I told him that I wanted him to know that I have realized for awhile that I love him and that I felt he should know it. I told him I was not saying it to hear it back, that I didn't need to hear it back. I also at the same time told him that if he realized at some point that he could "never" say it back that he needed to let me know so that I could move on because I deserve to have a man who loves me in my life. It was probably 6 weeks later that when I told him goodnight and I love you that he said, I love you too. I know others here have shared similar stories. For me personally in this relationship it was important to wait. For SO, too, he pondered and thought about it for a long time before he said it. He was thinking about it before I said anything.
Hugs to you. Follow your heart. Take the advice that makes sense to you or take non at all.
@nonoelmo I will be taking this advice. I'll probably bring it up again in several months after he's back from New York. He leaves in November and comes back December 10th.
Now that I'm looking back, I realized there were times where I almost said it and held it back. I guess when I got the wine in me I couldn't hold it back.
ETA: For now, things will stay playful and fun. I will continue to take it day by day and if he brings it up, I might talk about it. If not, then I wont stress or worry about it.
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I've been the girl who was used to cheat on his girlfriend with - I didn't know at the time we hooked up, and I felt utterly disgusted and horrified that I had any part in hurting someone else like that.pofoster21 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function.
My brother hates his ex and was like this at first. Until someone pointed out that he's a grownup man who is hurting his children.
My brother's ex cheated on him with one of his friends and is now marrying him which is why he hates her.
I would hate her too. I am a bit judgemental with regards to cheating when married. If you are going to mess,around outside of marriage behind your wife's back...then just separate. I would so hate being the victim of a cheating spouse that I would never never be the other woman.
I was engaged when my ex cheated- with a chick I KNEW. People make me sick sometimes. Three years later obviously I'm happy I didn't marry the prick but still it almost ruined me at the time.
Anyway I get angry when people say they're not cheating since they're not the one who's married- uhm YES it is it's just as bad!!! It makes me so mad. And disgusted.
I wasn't very mature at the time, so I let everyone know why he was no longer my work crush (+/- allowing a rumour about his lack of prowess in bed to go unchecked).
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I've been the girl who was used to cheat on his girlfriend with - I didn't know at the time we hooked up, and I felt utterly disgusted and horrified that I had any part in hurting someone else like that.pofoster21 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function.
My brother hates his ex and was like this at first. Until someone pointed out that he's a grownup man who is hurting his children.
My brother's ex cheated on him with one of his friends and is now marrying him which is why he hates her.
I would hate her too. I am a bit judgemental with regards to cheating when married. If you are going to mess,around outside of marriage behind your wife's back...then just separate. I would so hate being the victim of a cheating spouse that I would never never be the other woman.
I was engaged when my ex cheated- with a chick I KNEW. People make me sick sometimes. Three years later obviously I'm happy I didn't marry the prick but still it almost ruined me at the time.
Anyway I get angry when people say they're not cheating since they're not the one who's married- uhm YES it is it's just as bad!!! It makes me so mad. And disgusted.
I wasn't very mature at the time, so I let everyone know why he was no longer my work crush (+/- allowing a rumour about his lack of prowess in bed to go unchecked).
You didn't KNOW! But if you KNEW you wouldn't have done it, right? So there's a big difference there.
With Douche Canoe, I would have lost contact with him REAL quick if I had known he was seeing 4 other women at the same time. All the while telling each one they were his 'one and only' and, in addition, sleeping with his not even completely ex-wife!
He's on his way to jail(again). I honestly wish this man the best in life because I believe he is capable of being a good person. He's very talented with a strong work ethic. But he is making some REALLY smurfy decisions in his life that are just ruining everything for himself as well as for his two darling children.
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I've been the girl who was used to cheat on his girlfriend with - I didn't know at the time we hooked up, and I felt utterly disgusted and horrified that I had any part in hurting someone else like that.pofoster21 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function.
My brother hates his ex and was like this at first. Until someone pointed out that he's a grownup man who is hurting his children.
My brother's ex cheated on him with one of his friends and is now marrying him which is why he hates her.
I would hate her too. I am a bit judgemental with regards to cheating when married. If you are going to mess,around outside of marriage behind your wife's back...then just separate. I would so hate being the victim of a cheating spouse that I would never never be the other woman.
I was engaged when my ex cheated- with a chick I KNEW. People make me sick sometimes. Three years later obviously I'm happy I didn't marry the prick but still it almost ruined me at the time.
Anyway I get angry when people say they're not cheating since they're not the one who's married- uhm YES it is it's just as bad!!! It makes me so mad. And disgusted.
I wasn't very mature at the time, so I let everyone know why he was no longer my work crush (+/- allowing a rumour about his lack of prowess in bed to go unchecked).
If you didn't know or a couple are separated but not divorced then I don't see an issue. It's the guys who are living with their wives as if all is ok and you know this and are carrying on an affair. If he is out of love with his wife then he should leave her. If they have an open relationship then that is their business too, and then have at it. Its the innocent girlfriend /wife/fiance who know nothing and are getting harmed that upsets me.0 -
Guys all I can say today is this weekend kicked my butt. Every bone in my body hurts. Happy workweek!0
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This is shaping up to be a long day. It's month end and FMLA girl is not here again. I can't decide if she's faking her back pain or if karma has caught up with her for the way she abused the system last year. Anyway, I have to do work of hers from July that I just found. I needed to vent before I get started.0
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Guys, I appreciate extra marital affairs are a hot button issue, but can we tone down the judging please? We have a lot of people on the thread and we don't know their circumstances. We can't judge until we've walked a mile in their shoes. Then we're a mile away, with new shoes
FWIW, I've been both the other woman and been cheated on (different men, both before I was age 20). Believe me when I say I know karma kicked my butt for choices I made. I could put it down to immaturity. Sometimes, despite having a moral compass, emotions can lead to terrible decisions. I don't excuse what I did in the past, but look at it as an experience that brings me here today.
And now, I practice ethical non monogamy, everything is open, there is no need to lie or go behind anyone's back. That said the smarties and I are closed, which means none if us want or are looking for any other partner or playmate, but if anyone did, it would be openly discussed.
But given social norms and pressure to conform, most people will do the underhand thing and hope they don't get caught, because the idea that you can be with, or love more than one person at a time is not yet acceptable. No one person should be under pressure to meet all the need, wants and desires of another person.0 -
obscuremusicreference wrote: »FitForMaddy wrote: »girlviernes wrote: »I'm really curious, what is the purpose of the trash bag?
My protein levels suck almost every day.
I had trouble with protein levels daily (Really LOW). One thing I started doing was making a morning drink with
1 cup of orange juice and 1 scoop of 30g protein powder. That helped adding the extra protein and surprisingly I'm not that hungry to eat more for breakfast.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »Guys, I appreciate extra marital affairs are a hot button issue, but can we tone down the judging please? We have a lot of people on the thread and we don't know their circumstances. We can't judge until we've walked a mile in their shoes. Then we're a mile away, with new shoes
FWIW, I've been both the other woman and been cheated on (different men, both before I was age 20). Believe me when I say I know karma kicked my butt for choices I made. I could put it down to immaturity. Sometimes, despite having a moral compass, emotions can lead to terrible decisions. I don't excuse what I did in the past, but look at it as an experience that brings me here today.
And now, I practice ethical non monogamy, everything is open, there is no need to lie or go behind anyone's back. That said the smarties and I are closed, which means none if us want or are looking for any other partner or playmate, but if anyone did, it would be openly discussed.
But given social norms and pressure to conform, most people will do the underhand thing and hope they don't get caught, because the idea that you can be with, or love more than one person at a time is not yet acceptable. No one person should be under pressure to meet all the need, wants and desires of another person.
I have absolutely no issue with anyone being with or loving more than one person at a time as long as everyone involved knows the score... just don't make a commitment of exclusivity with one and then play around. If you can't be monogamous, don't pretend to be.
It's not the multiple partner aspect that bothers me, it's deception.
edit: grammar0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »Guys, I appreciate extra marital affairs are a hot button issue, but can we tone down the judging please? We have a lot of people on the thread and we don't know their circumstances. We can't judge until we've walked a mile in their shoes. Then we're a mile away, with new shoes
FWIW, I've been both the other woman and been cheated on (different men, both before I was age 20). Believe me when I say I know karma kicked my butt for choices I made. I could put it down to immaturity. Sometimes, despite having a moral compass, emotions can lead to terrible decisions. I don't excuse what I did in the past, but look at it as an experience that brings me here today.
And now, I practice ethical non monogamy, everything is open, there is no need to lie or go behind anyone's back. That said the smarties and I are closed, which means none if us want or are looking for any other partner or playmate, but if anyone did, it would be openly discussed.
But given social norms and pressure to conform, most people will do the underhand thing and hope they don't get caught, because the idea that you can be with, or love more than one person at a time is not yet acceptable. No one person should be under pressure to meet all the need, wants and desires of another person.
Fair enough. That is a hot button for me (never been cheated on/never been the other woman...but not dating/being married kind of negates the possibility of that) but I have always had a personal dread fear of being cheated on. I think it would devastate me. But I am done with the topic.
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Friends in the UK are you off today? My calendar says its a Summer Bank holiday?0
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