WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2105

.

Well girls, I am just hanging in by just a very thin thread. This morning when I went in at 7, that is such an early hour, and Charlie was just zonked again. They said he had an uneventful night. Yeah uneventful. They gave him that IV Ativan and put him out. So yeah, he caused no problem for you you stupid nurses. So he stayed that way until around 2 that afternoon. The nurse and I did a painful sternum rub, twisting his nipples and no responses. I did the twisting of his nipples. It's an old nurses trick to see if a patient is responsive to pain. Wasnt able to take any medicines, eat, anything. Around 2 or 3 he woke up and the day got better. In the meantime, he was incontinent of urine and stool. I had to witness my husband put in diapers. We were able to talk a little bit. I still tried to get him to talk about if this disaese got real bad, what did he want me to do. He either couldn't say or was to stubborn to say. I went get to the mall and get my necklace. At supper we had a lot of visitors, he was in a chair and quite awake. He shook hands with one of my deacons and asked him how he was. I have tried to get him to squeeze my hand four hours. He talked to Michelle on the phone. Then they all left and I am trying to help him look through my pictures on my iPad of our girls, vacations, just anything. Then the guy who couldn't stand sweets yesterday wanted a tuna salad sandwich with miracle whip and a chocolate chip cookie and diet Pepsi! So I got it ordered and they finally get it there. So I am taking a small piece of the sandwich and putting some Miracle Whip sandwich and he starts in on me cussing my out like crazy that I didn't order enough Miracle Whip. Calling me every name in the book and a few more. How could I be that ******** stupid not to order enough Miracle. I should ********* know that he likes a lot of Miracle whip. So I jsut tell him that if he wants any more, he could call dietary and order more. I gave him the phone and call bell to let the nurses know when he wants to go back to bed and then I leave. When I got home, I jsut sat and cried, so mad that I reacted like that, mad about the disease process, mad at his reaction, his treating me like that for so many years, knowing that he was going to be dependent on me for along time and knowing he was going to be that angry at himself, me, the disease and taking it all out on me the only way he knows how to. The way his Dad talked to his wife only she would jsut give it right back.I am mad that he thinks he will die by the time he is 70 or before, mad at myself for being so compliant, mad at the fact that it is just my personality and cant do anything different. I know that I need to talk to my pastor and a social worker. But if I talk to my pastor, then I will be mad that I have to let some one know in the church the kind of life I live. I am just MAD tonight. I am mad that I have eaten less than 900 calories a day for the last 2 days. Oh, the infectious disease doctor is also going to test for West Nile disease. He will be having that spinal tap tomorrow. I know Charlies personality and if he gets mad during the test he will make them stop and nothing will be gained out of an expensive test. I am mad I don't know how to take care of my own house, and even if I had the strength, I wouldn't be able to. So yeah, I am mad at my MS. I am jsut mad at my lousy life right now and the fact that my wedding annivrsary Wednesday. I am losing out on that fun. My Mom was comatose when I had my birthday and she couldn't celebrate with me. I never knew what she had got me. I am even mad that I didn't get a birthday present from her but that is the pettiest thing to be angry about.

OK, I better stop before I add some more mad ats.

Joyce

Annr, I just read your post about the dog that wasn't on a leash. I don't understand people. She was WRONG...didn't want to face it...and GOT personal!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? YOU did the right thing!! I hope they gave her a ticket! Dogs can turn on anyone in a second!!!

Joyce - Oh sweetie, you absolutely have the right to be "mad" at the situation. I'm glad you got it all out and was honest with us. I truly would encourage you to talk to your pastor and/or counselor. Believe me, being the ex-wife of a preacher they hear and see everything. They don't blab it around. Also I doubt your revelation of Charlie's behavior would be too surprising to him. Usually the only one we are fooling is ourselves, thinking no one else knows. I'm praying for you, sweet lady. Life is not fair and for sure is not easy. Dump on us anytime. I think most of us would have reacted the same way in your situation. BUT know too, you do NOT have to just take all he dishes out. I realize he is sick now and scared too, and so are you, but you say he has always done this. It is not acceptable.

Janetr OKC

{{{{{Joyce}}}}}

Hi, This is Mae, I was here a few yrs. back, life happened and here I am back. I am tired right now so will post more later.

Mae from Maine

Joyce big hug to you across the miles. Charlie reminds me of my Dad. He was so horrible when he was in the hospital. Often said the worst things to his family and it had to do with a medication they put him on. That said he could be just as bad to people he supposedly loved at home. I'm so glad you got all of that out of you and had a safe place to share it. It's just not the same thinking it in your head. I hope you had a good cry afterward.

The past week was really weird. I started Thursday by falling out of bed and landed on one of those little footstools you use for kids to get up to the sink. I sat there for about 15 minutes thinking about what a weird bruise I was going to have on my "boottskee" and how I was going to get up. DGS#2 was there so had him bring me a diningroom chair and got up easier than I thought it would be. Had a lovely week with the boys in camp especially with DS#1 gone for the whole week. DSG#2 was at day camp so got to enjoy time with him not crying from his brother being mean. School starts on the 9th for them and I am going to look for a part time job, maybe a receptionist. I don't need to make the kind of money I used to since I have my retirement and SS. I just need some fun money.

Pip I'm guessing that you and I live very close to each other since your stats show you riding back and forth from the dome.

Tonight I'm going to get off my computer early. I have to change my unorthodox sleeping habits. I stay up way way too late on the computer or watching marathon TV shows on Hulu. If I'm going to go to the Y after the kids leave for school I'm going to have to go to bed much earlier.

Good night everyone - see you all tomorrow
GloriainWA

jmkmomm wrote: »

Well girls, I am just hanging in by just a very thin thread. This morning when I went in at 7, that is such an early hour, and Charlie was just zonked again. They said he had an uneventful night. Yeah uneventful. They gave him that IV Ativan and put him out. So yeah, he caused no problem for you you stupid nurses. So he stayed that way until around 2 that afternoon. The nurse and I did a painful sternum rub, twisting his nipples and no responses. I did the twisting of his nipples. It's an old nurses trick to see if a patient is responsive to pain. Wasnt able to take any medicines, eat, anything. Around 2 or 3 he woke up and the day got better. In the meantime, he was incontinent of urine and stool. I had to witness my husband put in diapers. We were able to talk a little bit. I still tried to get him to talk about if this disaese got real bad, what did he want me to do. He either couldn't say or was to stubborn to say. I went get to the mall and get my necklace. At supper we had a lot of visitors, he was in a chair and quite awake. He shook hands with one of my deacons and asked him how he was. I have tried to get him to squeeze my hand four hours. He talked to Michelle on the phone. Then they all left and I am trying to help him look through my pictures on my iPad of our girls, vacations, just anything. Then the guy who couldn't stand sweets yesterday wanted a tuna salad sandwich with miracle whip and a chocolate chip cookie and diet Pepsi! So I got it ordered and they finally get it there. So I am taking a small piece of the sandwich and putting some Miracle Whip sandwich and he starts in on me cussing my out like crazy that I didn't order enough Miracle Whip. Calling me every name in the book and a few more. How could I be that ******** stupid not to order enough Miracle. I should ********* know that he likes a lot of Miracle whip. So I jsut tell him that if he wants any more, he could call dietary and order more. I gave him the phone and call bell to let the nurses know when he wants to go back to bed and then I leave. When I got home, I jsut sat and cried, so mad that I reacted like that, mad about the disease process, mad at his reaction, his treating me like that for so many years, knowing that he was going to be dependent on me for along time and knowing he was going to be that angry at himself, me, the disease and taking it all out on me the only way he knows how to. The way his Dad talked to his wife only she would jsut give it right back.I am mad that he thinks he will die by the time he is 70 or before, mad at myself for being so compliant, mad at the fact that it is just my personality and cant do anything different. I know that I need to talk to my pastor and a social worker. But if I talk to my pastor, then I will be mad that I have to let some one know in the church the kind of life I live. I am just MAD tonight. I am mad that I have eaten less than 900 calories a day for the last 2 days. Oh, the infectious disease doctor is also going to test for West Nile disease. He will be having that spinal tap tomorrow. I know Charlies personality and if he gets mad during the test he will make them stop and nothing will be gained out of an expensive test. I am mad I don't know how to take care of my own house, and even if I had the strength, I wouldn't be able to. So yeah, I am mad at my MS. I am jsut mad at my lousy life right now and the fact that my wedding annivrsary Wednesday. I am losing out on that fun. My Mom was comatose when I had my birthday and she couldn't celebrate with me. I never knew what she had got me. I am even mad that I didn't get a birthday present from her but that is the pettiest thing to be angry about.

OK, I better stop before I add some more mad ats.

Joyce

Giving u the biggest hug u can muster up. I am so sad that I'm so far away, but so happy that u feel safe enough here to let your feelings out. When my husband was sick and I was watching him more I would give it right back to him and he wasn't being as mean to me as your husband sounds. One day we were going to see a movie and he was being a passenger driver. I finally told him, one more word I am pulling over and u r going to drive. Well, I pulled over and we sat there until he realized I was serious, he drove. His issue with his disease was fatigue and strength, so it took a lot out of him to drive and shift gears and turn the steering wheel. I was guilty but I got over it, and I didn't even had your issue of MS either. It was hard for him to talk about the what if's. At least we got2 important ones discussed, the bury or burn and resuscitate or not. The stuff that he has left, belongings, furniture, I still have and will still have to deal with and he died in 1995! I am with u in spirit. I am so sorry for your pain

maeadair wrote: »

Hi, This is Mae, I was here a few yrs. back, life happened and here I am back. I am tired right now so will post more later.

Mae from Maine

Welcome back. It's September 1, so Barbie has started a new thread. Look for a post from her for the link.