DEAR FAT PEOPLE
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Traveler120 wrote: »I'm in the minority here it seems. What's hateful about what she said? All I see is someone calling a spade a spade.
If I was obese and wasn't doing anything about it, or wasn't doing enough, I'd watch it several times until it sunk in. The reality is that nobody wants to offend a fat person, even if they're a close family member, by telling them they're fat and ruining their lives and need to change their habits. So the fat stay fat or get fatter, when what they need is truth tellers who will tell it like it is.
Do you honestly believe that fat people are somehow not aware that they're fat?
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melodicraven wrote: »Traveler120 wrote: »I'm in the minority here it seems. What's hateful about what she said? All I see is someone calling a spade a spade.
If I was obese and wasn't doing anything about it, or wasn't doing enough, I'd watch it several times until it sunk in. The reality is that nobody wants to offend a fat person, even if they're a close family member, by telling them they're fat and ruining their lives and need to change their habits. So the fat stay fat or get fatter, when what they need is truth tellers who will tell it like it is.
Do you honestly believe that fat people are somehow not aware that they're fat?
If they were truly aware (or cared), would they be stuffing garbage into their bodies? No.0 -
rosnigetsfit wrote: »rosnigetsfit wrote: »Question: If you saw this vid back when you were fat faaat, would you feel the same way as today? For some, they see it as a wake up call from the harsh reality. Tbh, if I saw this back when I was 63lbs more, I'd feel 'she's kinda right but she could have said it in a humane way'. But still it's rude.
IMO it's too bad that you would have thought she was right if you say it when you weighed 63 pounds more. It's not just rude, it's wrong and it's hateful.
However I am out of this thread....since giving this horrible suck of a woman any attention or any of my valuable time is just what she wants. She's worthless.
That's just me, my opinion.
And your opinion is wrong.
Fat shaming has been shown to be ineffective and counterproductive. Body shame can lead to weight gain, not loss. No, that may not make logical sense, but humans are messy and often don't make sense.
http://www.nature.com/ijo/journal/v37/n6/abs/ijo2012156a.html
http://www.nbcnews.com/health/fat-shaming-actually-increases-risk-becoming-or-staying-obese-new-8C10751491
Here are just a couple of links I grabbed, there were a lot of others.
Yes, there will be anecdotal cases of shame working, but overall, all that bish is doing is making fat people feel bad about themselves. Which isn't helpful.
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The opening frame and caption are all I needed to see in order to know this would be a colossal waste of time and brain energy.0
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Except neither you nor she know that obesity was the person's actual disability that allowed the on the plane early. Perhaps the person actually has another disability like chronic fatigue that is actually part of how the person became obese. So yeah, you're both excessively judgmental.myfelinepal wrote: »I found her video mildly amusing. And no less or more intelligent than any other youtuber's videos. Loud and obnoxious, but isn't that the point of youtubers?
I'm obese and nothing she said offended me. If I were part of that family I would have been ashamed to have forced my way to the front of the line and then ride the cart to the plane and steal someone's seat for my 'disability.' That all has one name and it's called enablement.
I mean...life is about making judgments. You're making a judgment that they might have chronic fatigue and she's made a judgment that they are obese. Just because your judgment gives you a sense of moral superiority doesn't really make you better than anyone else.0 -
She is absolutely right. Butthurt people are butthurt-5
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rosnigetsfit wrote: »rosnigetsfit wrote: »Question: If you saw this vid back when you were fat faaat, would you feel the same way as today? For some, they see it as a wake up call from the harsh reality. Tbh, if I saw this back when I was 63lbs more, I'd feel 'she's kinda right but she could have said it in a humane way'. But still it's rude.
IMO it's too bad that you would have thought she was right if you say it when you weighed 63 pounds more. It's not just rude, it's wrong and it's hateful.
However I am out of this thread....since giving this horrible suck of a woman any attention or any of my valuable time is just what she wants. She's worthless.
That's just me, my opinion.
And your opinion is wrong.
Fat shaming has been shown to be ineffective and counterproductive. Body shame can lead to weight gain, not loss. No, that may not make logical sense, but humans are messy and often don't make sense.
http://www.nature.com/ijo/journal/v37/n6/abs/ijo2012156a.html
http://www.nbcnews.com/health/fat-shaming-actually-increases-risk-becoming-or-staying-obese-new-8C10751491
Here are just a couple of links I grabbed, there were a lot of others.
Yes, there will be anecdotal cases of shame working, but overall, all that bish is doing is making fat people feel bad about themselves. Which isn't helpful.
You're not wrong.
But, do you think enabling bad habits by giving special treatment and terming obesity as a disease is the answer?0 -
My comment has no assumptions. You and she are assuming you know why someone was qualified as disabled to go ahead in line. Trying to cover it up and justify it as "life is about making judgements" is about as weak an argument as it gets. Life is in no way about a judging people, and you know that is what is meant by judgements here. There was no need to judge or assume why this person needed to go in the early boarding on the plane. And honestly, you're now calling my calling you out on it a sense of moral superiority? How hypocritical. You started by feeling superior to the other obese person because you'd be obese the right way and not take up the disabled line. You're not saying this because you think I'm being morally superior, you are because you've realized you might not be.myfelinepal wrote: »
Except neither you nor she know that obesity was the person's actual disability that allowed the on the plane early. Perhaps the person actually has another disability like chronic fatigue that is actually part of how the person became obese. So yeah, you're both excessively judgmental.myfelinepal wrote: »I found her video mildly amusing. And no less or more intelligent than any other youtuber's videos. Loud and obnoxious, but isn't that the point of youtubers?
I'm obese and nothing she said offended me. If I were part of that family I would have been ashamed to have forced my way to the front of the line and then ride the cart to the plane and steal someone's seat for my 'disability.' That all has one name and it's called enablement.
I mean...life is about making judgments. You're making a judgment that they might have chronic fatigue and she's made a judgment that they are obese. Just because your judgment gives you a sense of moral superiority doesn't really make you better than anyone else.0 -
My comment has no assumptions. You and she are assuming you know why someone was qualified as disabled to go ahead in line. Trying to cover it up and justify it as "life is about making judgements" is about as weak an argument as it gets. Life is in no way about a judging people, and you know that is what is meant by judgements here. There was no need to judge or assume why this person needed to go in the early boarding on the plane. And honestly, you're now calling my calling you out on it a sense of moral superiority? How hypocritical. You started by feeling superior to the other obese person because you'd be obese the right way and not take up the disabled line. You're not saying this because you think I'm being morally superior, you are because you've realized you might not be.myfelinepal wrote: »
Except neither you nor she know that obesity was the person's actual disability that allowed the on the plane early. Perhaps the person actually has another disability like chronic fatigue that is actually part of how the person became obese. So yeah, you're both excessively judgmental.myfelinepal wrote: »I found her video mildly amusing. And no less or more intelligent than any other youtuber's videos. Loud and obnoxious, but isn't that the point of youtubers?
I'm obese and nothing she said offended me. If I were part of that family I would have been ashamed to have forced my way to the front of the line and then ride the cart to the plane and steal someone's seat for my 'disability.' That all has one name and it's called enablement.
I mean...life is about making judgments. You're making a judgment that they might have chronic fatigue and she's made a judgment that they are obese. Just because your judgment gives you a sense of moral superiority doesn't really make you better than anyone else.
Oh I know I'm a judgmental a-hole and make no bones about it. It just makes me lol that you think you're not a player in the game. If you had no judgments/assumptions why comment at all?0 -
myfelinepal wrote: »rosnigetsfit wrote: »rosnigetsfit wrote: »Question: If you saw this vid back when you were fat faaat, would you feel the same way as today? For some, they see it as a wake up call from the harsh reality. Tbh, if I saw this back when I was 63lbs more, I'd feel 'she's kinda right but she could have said it in a humane way'. But still it's rude.
IMO it's too bad that you would have thought she was right if you say it when you weighed 63 pounds more. It's not just rude, it's wrong and it's hateful.
However I am out of this thread....since giving this horrible suck of a woman any attention or any of my valuable time is just what she wants. She's worthless.
That's just me, my opinion.
And your opinion is wrong.
Fat shaming has been shown to be ineffective and counterproductive. Body shame can lead to weight gain, not loss. No, that may not make logical sense, but humans are messy and often don't make sense.
http://www.nature.com/ijo/journal/v37/n6/abs/ijo2012156a.html
http://www.nbcnews.com/health/fat-shaming-actually-increases-risk-becoming-or-staying-obese-new-8C10751491
Here are just a couple of links I grabbed, there were a lot of others.
Yes, there will be anecdotal cases of shame working, but overall, all that bish is doing is making fat people feel bad about themselves. Which isn't helpful.
You're not wrong.
But, do you think enabling bad habits by giving special treatment and terming obesity as a disease is the answer?
I think it's all terribly complicated, and that I am not an obesity researcher or expert. But, I do believe that there isn't any one cause for obesity. It's not simple. For one person it could be untreated hypothyroidism (mememememe!) and all of the hormonal/emotional chaos it causes, for another it's the result of childhood sexual abuse.
The thing about diseases is that they can be treated, without stigma or hate or blame. In the end, those 3 things don't help and tend to make situations worse, so why do people keep holding onto them as a method?
As for special treatment, I don't know. That's a tough one.
Somewhat related, recently, my father got a silly little golf cart. He's obese and sedentary. When that happened, my initial reaction was probably pretty normal "dammit, now he's never going to get into better shape! He'll be able to get around without walking". But, the truth is, he had already given up doing things that he enjoyed like going down to the river, etc. Now he can. Maybe he's not getting there in an Angie approved way, but at least he's doing it now. Would I rather he walk there? Sure, but that wasn't going to happen.
What made me change was finally getting treatment, not having so many barriers to success, and having the love and support of my family. There was no shaming involved. Just compassion. And I had goals that were broken down into smaller goals, most not having to do with weightloss at all. I wanted to be able to hike, backpack, etc. So, that's what I worked towards. The weightloss was a lovely bonus. All shaming would have done was make me not want to leave the house or exercise in front of anyone. It was tough enough to pull myself out of that pit without those things compounded on top. I wonder if I'd have been able to do it if I had had that kind of "help"?0 -
rosnigetsfit wrote: »allaboutthefood wrote: »Well I happen to like Nicole Arbour, I find her very funny and I don't take offence to anything she says and I have watched a lot of her videos. I didn't take anything she was saying as her being mean.
Wow really
Yep really, she pokes fun at everyone and everything. I do find her to be funny, but again I have no problem laughing at myself, so I am not a uptight person.0 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »the comments tell me everything i need to know about the video.....
Me too. Don't care to even peek now.
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rosnigetsfit wrote: »Question: If you saw this vid back when you were fat faaat, would you feel the same way as today? For some, they see it as a wake up call from the harsh reality. Tbh, if I saw this back when I was 63lbs more, I'd feel 'she's kinda right but she could have said it in a humane way'. But still it's rude.
I didn't watch the video because I don't feed trolls views but I felt like responding to your question. I lost weight because my doctor told me I needed to. No amount of fat shaming in the past ever motivated me, and it probably is actually what lead to a lot of weight gain in my life. People like her are a disease on society.0 -
Meh. What a load of sh!te. So called "shaming" of any kind seldom has a positive outcome. At least fat people can lose weight. I'm not sure how a perfect a-hole can be reduced, regardless of how much preparation h they use.0
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Not feeling this video0
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Traveler120 wrote: »I'm in the minority here it seems. What's hateful about what she said? All I see is someone calling a spade a spade.
Except she's not. She's physically disgusted by fat (she makes that very clear in the way she talks about overweight individuals), but couches it in the lie that she cares about health. All she has is anger and judgement, because as a "fat person" I "needed to hear the hard truth" . What hard truth? That my weight put me at risk for heart disease? No. That as a "fat person" to her, and by extension, to society, I was worthless.
She doesn't give a rat's *kitten* about my health, about my lupus, about the arthritis and asthma I've lived with since a child. She doesn't care that I felt so worthless about myself I allowed my husband to physically and emotionally abuse me for years. She doesn't care that I starved myself at 19 to be "normal", resulting in passing out every single day from low blood sugars for months. She's just like everyone who told me that I 'looked great' and 'was so healthy' when I was eating a diet of soy soy soy and more soy despite a soy allergy, because it kept my weight down. Were they bad people? Is she a bad person? I'd say no, just really clueless.
Just as she doesn't care about me, she doesn't care about you, or anyone else who is fat. She was mad that she sat next to a fat person who was violating her personal space on an airline. The rest was just self-righteous ranting typical of her videos.0 -
I'm at a loss. This whole thread is terribly sad.0
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Kimegatron wrote: »This had been bothering me for hours to be honest. I'm starting to feel really horrible about myself. I have been in a horribly abusive relationship where I was told how disgusting I was, and a marriage where fat jokes were made towards me when I was even 162 (I'm 5'8") and told I'm disgusting. Now I'm just thinking of how others see me when I'm out running errands and I'm horrified about what they're thinking. I used to have slight agoraphobia after high school when I was thin and don't even want to go on my walks now. I have always felt like people were always laughing at me and now I know they really were. Everyone would say it's not true and that no one is looking at me because they don't care, but I am even more insecure now than I was before I lost these 22 pounds.
Shoot, you are doing great! Focus on the fact that YOU are working to improve your health and that you have lost 22 lbs! That is an awesome achievement and you should be very proud. TBH, most people that you meet out and about are not judging you! If anything, they are focused on their own lives or maybe even worried about what you might be thinking about them. Please yourself; it's the only opinion that truly matters.0 -
Boring and lazy - concern trolling as a cover for easy and cruel jokes made at the expense of the wrong people. I think there are tensions in the discourse around fat acceptance that she could have explored, around the more militant side of that movement, but she just went for cheap shots about obese people and their actual bodies. She's obviously not dumb either, the shame is that she feels she has to rely on low blows to get laughs. #comedyfail #humanbeingfail0
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This woman is quite obnoxious and I don't like her however she does have some valid points BUT that doesn't mean I necessarily think she was right in making her video/rant.
1. It isn't healthy to be severely overweight
2.It isn't fair to impose on someone else's space, especially in the cramped conditions of a plane. Wether it be an arm, leg, baggage or stomach.
3. It isn't fair to be bumped to the front of the line because you can't be bothered standing anymore. (But she doesn't even have proof that this is the case)
Everything else was pretty much *kitten*. People know being overweight isn't healthy. They don't need some try hard telling them that. She makes it seem like everyone not overweight should be judging anyone overweight. When really, very few people think like her. And as the video proved, those few people aren't usually people worth knowing.0 -
Some people should stop taking themselves so seriously AND grow a sense of humour...0
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Is that like growing a pair? If so I agree! Sorry, I really need to go to bed, I'm getting punchy. Night, night everybody...rachou_101 wrote: »Some people should stop taking themselves so seriously AND grow a sense of humour...
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rachou_101 wrote: »Some people should stop taking themselves so seriously AND grow a sense of humour...
That's good advice, you should take it0 -
Traveler120 wrote: »I'm in the minority here it seems. What's hateful about what she said? All I see is someone calling a spade a spade.
Except she's not. She's physically disgusted by fat (she makes that very clear in the way she talks about overweight individuals), but couches it in the lie that she cares about health. All she has is anger and judgement, because as a "fat person" I "needed to hear the hard truth" . What hard truth? That my weight put me at risk for heart disease? No. That as a "fat person" to her, and by extension, to society, I was worthless.
She doesn't give a rat's *kitten* about my health, about my lupus, about the arthritis and asthma I've lived with since a child. She doesn't care that I felt so worthless about myself I allowed my husband to physically and emotionally abuse me for years. She doesn't care that I starved myself at 19 to be "normal", resulting in passing out every single day from low blood sugars for months. She's just like everyone who told me that I 'looked great' and 'was so healthy' when I was eating a diet of soy soy soy and more soy despite a soy allergy, because it kept my weight down. Were they bad people? Is she a bad person? I'd say no, just really clueless.
Just as she doesn't care about me, she doesn't care about you, or anyone else who is fat. She was mad that she sat next to a fat person who was violating her personal space on an airline. The rest was just self-righteous ranting typical of her videos.
Well actually, she does "care", she said she was excluding people with "health issues" (complete with air quotes) in her rant
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My comment has no assumptions. You and she are assuming you know why someone was qualified as disabled to go ahead in line. Trying to cover it up and justify it as "life is about making judgements" is about as weak an argument as it gets. Life is in no way about a judging people, and you know that is what is meant by judgements here. There was no need to judge or assume why this person needed to go in the early boarding on the plane. And honestly, you're now calling my calling you out on it a sense of moral superiority? How hypocritical. You started by feeling superior to the other obese person because you'd be obese the right way and not take up the disabled line. You're not saying this because you think I'm being morally superior, you are because you've realized you might not be.myfelinepal wrote: »
Except neither you nor she know that obesity was the person's actual disability that allowed the on the plane early. Perhaps the person actually has another disability like chronic fatigue that is actually part of how the person became obese. So yeah, you're both excessively judgmental.myfelinepal wrote: »I found her video mildly amusing. And no less or more intelligent than any other youtuber's videos. Loud and obnoxious, but isn't that the point of youtubers?
I'm obese and nothing she said offended me. If I were part of that family I would have been ashamed to have forced my way to the front of the line and then ride the cart to the plane and steal someone's seat for my 'disability.' That all has one name and it's called enablement.
I mean...life is about making judgments. You're making a judgment that they might have chronic fatigue and she's made a judgment that they are obese. Just because your judgment gives you a sense of moral superiority doesn't really make you better than anyone else.
Hmm actually she provided context and said the family stated that they needed to go ahead because their knees were hurting due to the standing. Her assumption being that it was due to excessive weight. At the very minimum, it's a fact that the excessive weight would exacerbate any such knee issues
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Not wanting to be hateful, but I honestly cannot stand people like this lol.
She has a point. It's just a shame she has to hamfist the point into dust, jump up and down and jump some more. Just yet another vile and hateful Youtuber with no really intelligent or insightful knowledge into the subject.0 -
She doesn't give a rat's *kitten* about my health, about my lupus, about the arthritis and asthma I've lived with since a child. She doesn't care that I felt so worthless about myself I allowed my husband to physically and emotionally abuse me for years. She doesn't care that I starved myself at 19 to be "normal", resulting in passing out every single day from low blood sugars for months. She's just like everyone who told me that I 'looked great' and 'was so healthy' when I was eating a diet of soy soy soy and more soy despite a soy allergy, because it kept my weight down.
It's not her fault that you did that either. Why are you calling her clueless when you ate soy to keep yourself sick so you could lose weight?
The girl is just calling it as she sees it. She can care or don't care, it doesn't matter, the only kind of care that is important for you and your well being is your own.0 -
I don't think she understands the medical definition of obese because I am a UK size 16 and considered to be obese. I already have family that make comments such as this to my face don't need it from strangers0
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Here's why I DON'T have an issue with the video; for every one in your face type how many are silently thinking it? Whether I was fat or thin I never found the world shy of mean (and sometimes honest) people. If I want to be comfortable with myself that's on ME, regardless of what one or many have to say about it. In closing, life is rough, get a helmet.0
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Here's what I think. I think if everyone in the world were to wake up this morning and poof magically be exactly the perfect weight and body shape - people like her would still find reasons to be mean and mocking and just generally an a-hole.
Oh I'm just so worried about their health. Baloney. Nobody gives a rat's behind about a stranger's health. We (collectively) have no emotional investment in them. We don't care; we don't know them. What do we do seem to care about though is whether or not they are meeting or attempting to meet societal standards about how people should look and what their bodies should be like. The angry people on forum after forum after forum that I've read seem to have a problem with the fatties, both male and female, primarily because society says fat is *kitten*. Moreso with fat women, but it's applicable either way.
No, no, it's their health! Their health! Heart disease! Diabetes!! They're killing themselves!!! Well.... yeah sometimes. So f'ing what. It's their body. Their life. Do you approach people in bars who are drinking and educate them about the dangers of alcohol such as drunk driving, liver damage, and the possibility of alcoholism? Nope didn't think so. What about people who are smoking? Now society kind of frowns on that now, but would you feel comfortable becoming confrontational with someone about it? Long as they're not doing it around you, why bother right? What about unprotected sex? Are we on hand passing out condoms and judgement on the irresponsible people who can't be bothered to take care of themselves? Hmm that sounds familiar. What makes it acceptable in one situation and not another? We wouldn't dare lecture a stranger about the dangers of binge drinking and bareback sex. They'd think we were nuts and tell us to piss off. But for some reason, we think it's perfectly ok to police and judge other people's food choices of all things.
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