Depression and Weight Loss

shelleygold wrote: »

Hi folks,
I have been confronted today with the opinions of others regarding me and noticed that as the day progressed, I discovered that I have a higher degree if resilience than I thought. The opinions were not about my weight by they might as well have been. I am aware that I tend not established clear boundaries and I am easily wounded and hurt by the views and thoughts of others. However, today I made up my mind that what I think about me and how I value myself is far more important than the courts of world opinion. I have to rise and fall according to how I choose to think, feel, and react and I can, like anyone else, make mistakes and be perfectly imperfect. Depression has an awful way of blasting confidence and self-love. Let's all decide that how we choose to think about ourselves is negotiable and not fixed in time. We are not defined by the past, our errors, our weight or the ability to meet the expectation of others. We are works in progress.

i second that! and may i add that i'm so glad that how i choose to think about myself right not is NOT fixed. i am deep in it, but it won't last. it can't.

You know, seeing the posts here really underlines the fact that people with clinical depression will experience it differently. It's weird, I know exercise helps a lot of people with depression, but I guess I'm one of the rare ones. For me, exercise doesn't help. Eating doesn't really help either. My issues with food are simply the fact that when I got a desk job, I wasn't burning as many calories but didn't adjust my calories in. So for ME, it's not a bad food relationship to break, just learning portion control. And exercise is always a chore for me due to asthma. I'm starting to get it under control, but even though I can walk a good 45 minute walk that gets my heart rate up decently, I still hate it. The only reason I'm still doing it is the Zombies Run app. Even the fact that it's helping my asthma isn't enough to keep me walking.

Not sure what my point is here, to be honest, I guess I just want to point out that while trying exercise to help with depression is a step you need to try, if it doesn't help, that's ok. Still need to do something because it's good for you in other ways, but if it doesn't help your depression, there are other things to try.

I don't have anything to add to this thread. But I wanted to thank you all for your posts. I've really been struggling lately and found this thread by chance. It was exactly what I needed. Thanks to everyone for sharing their suggestions and strategies. I have read some things that I will definitely start using. Its true that you never know who is reading and who may benefit from your words.

shelleygold wrote: »

Ok Team!
I'm back. Must have been the B6 and Fish Oil( if only it was that simple).
Hit a road bump but that is life. It's interesting how the mind works. Just felt so dark, alone, fat, judged and hopeless. It was triggered by a situation which required problem solving rather than emotion but it took me a bit to get there. I'm not a big fan of wading through past impacts because that can be seen as somewhere between indulgent and making excuses. We are all victims and all survivors. We are all weakened by life and the strengthened by how we move through our challenges.
So... I invite my tribe to write one challenge they have had recently and what helped and what didn't help?
For me, the challenge was judgement and exclusion by others. What didn't help was blaming myself and inflating the issue. What helped was:
1. Talking about my feelings
2. Letting myself go through the pain
3. Confronting and problem solving
4. And writing to you.

Your turn

A recent challenge was some very, very harsh criticism I wasn't expecting around my creative work by someone I look up to and admire. It came at a very inopportune time, and I'm still not over it. What helped was:

1. First, NOT talking about it was the best thing. I waited, cried, and sat with it until I could reorganize my thinking away from catastrophizing and universal statements (eg. I suck and can't do anything and should quit, my life is meaningless and useless, etc etc).
2. Then talking about it in a heavily distanced manner, to see how other people picked it apart and were not emotional around it (seeing the other persons side, etc).
3. Humour. Making jokes about it, being exaggerated, has really helped me avoid completely spiralling. I kept thinking of this moment in Friends With Benefits that has always made me laugh, and felt really applicable



I still haven't really dealt with it, but I have been able to keep working on other things and not start a spiral of hopelessness that tends to end in hiding at home from my work and eating everything. So that's a win! What hasn't helped is continuing to hold onto it, and still letting some catastrophizing thoughts stick with me as little irritating "suggestions" from the part of myself that likes to tear me down. Need to squash that. But I'm still pleased with how I handled it, because I was already not doing well and I could have easily spiralled.

BethMilledge wrote: »

I've also been very depressed. I got out of an engagement with the love of my like at the end of June.

I'm sorry for your loss. Hang in there! I try my best to remember: 'this too shall pass'

68myra wrote: »

KAE612: congratulations on handling the harsh criticism without a downward spiral! i, for one, appreciate you sharing this experience.

Thank you. I haven't done so well afterwards (I had a bit of a spiral the last few days, unfortunately) but I still think there's something to be learned from how I managed to at least hold it off until I finished an important task (studying for and completing a midterm) that was immediate. I'm hoping to remember this for the future.

shelleygold wrote: »

I have been following a thread which implies that once a person becomes "fat" he/she is doomed to remain "fat".
I find it fascinating that people show their deeper values as they vote for either side of this rather futile hypothesis. Like mental health, weight is due to many variables. I think we need to trust that we can change our bodies and our minds with clear choices and healthy decision making... in the context of self love and acceptance.
What do you think?
S

I agree. I weighed in on that thread, and I still stand by my hypothesis. That there are many root causes for weight, and if they are not addressed it is very difficult to keep it off. Along with the cultural misunderstanding of how weight gain and loss occurs (caloric surplus/deficit). I also think that by using the word "fat" we undermine the successes of people simply becoming "less fat" by moving down a class of obesity, or becoming "overweight" instead of obese. I still think that's a win that needs to be acknowledged.

moyer566 wrote: »

hi all
i've been going thru some stressful outside situations which bring my depression and anxiety to a head.
I do try to tell people what i need. space, time to think it over but not all people respect those requests.
When i run and/or walk the dog, i try to sort things out.
When i teach yoga, we always start with a seated meditation and i talk about using a " brush" to sweep away anxiety and stress and that which we cannot control. And opening our minds to the light and joy of the world. It helps me and the students say they enjoy it as well.

my yoga teacher says something similar and i enjoy it too ... for me, personally, the mental aspects of yoga are more beneficial than the physical. (but i'll take both, hehe)

kshama2001 wrote: »

I guess I am fortunate that exercise always changes my state. Simple things like taking a shower does too.

I always considered myself fortunate that exercise works every time for me too! now i'm looking for alternatives to exercise...... i read earlier that just smiling actually benefits your mood! so, here i am, smiling at my computer.... and considering taking a shower.

btw, kshama2001, you couldn't have pegged it better: no matter how much i tried to modify, yogaX just increased my hip pain. My physical therapist nailed it: the dr. had the right idea, wrong approach. I have backed off EVERYTHING, including yoga, and she has devised a tiny, baby squat-like exercise to help me focus on the first needed step. so, there you go. i shall keep trying. She also used something called "dry needling" on me at my last appointment. i'm keeping my fingers crossed and trying not to lament over this "perfect" running weather.

shelleygold wrote: »

Hi Everyone,
It is mental health week here in Australia and I am fascinated with the attempts by the media, organizations, and health professionals alike to increase awareness in relation to the true challenges to support individuals and families with mental health challenges. Although I appreciate the gestures and the attention, what I think is missing from most of the "surfacy" kind of rhetoric and motherhood statements is the recognition that individuals who are managing their own internal strife are not necessarily SICK. I do not hold the view that we are ill. There isn't a Depression germ or an Anxiety virus. Our brains have been changed over time due to chemical abnormalities, social impacts, traumas, coping strategies that stopped working long ago, circumstantial pressure and overwhelming life challenges. So....we are left with the pieces of the puzzle to reassemble and quite often there is little recognition or actual support around at the level and degree required. There are caring people, knowledgable professional and services but it has been my experience that I am accountable to myself for getting better and I would like that to be recognized and supported in meaningful ways. This thread is one of my strategies which I have found extremely healing and enlightening. I do not chose to rely on medication and really want to change the way my brain responds to aspects of my life including how I eat, exercise and function. Please understand that I am not anti-medication and I totally support those of us who find value and relief from medical interventions. I just know that the medical interventions do not teach skills or strategies given the assumptions of the "illness" model. I want to believe that I can learn how to manage my life differently and more specifically my thought processes and my responses to life. I would really like to know what you think about this area?

I think your perspective is really interesting. I've never really thought of it like that, but I don't think I believe in the "illness model" as well, because you're right, it's not a virus or bacteria. It's also not genetic like some other mental issues are (autism, dyslexia, etc).

I personally am very much against medication for anxiety, and think of it as only a last-resort short-term solution for depression. I know that's not everyone's journey, but from the reading I've done on the medications for these "illnesses" is that for the most part the side effects (harm) outweigh the benefit, and the benefit dwindles over time. At the very least, I'm against it for myself. And I think conceiving of it as an "illness" leads to the simplistic belief that you can just pop a pill and be done with it. Which, even if you are on medication, is never the whole story (therapy or self-help).

I would say it makes more sense to me as more of an "injury" model. I've been in physio for issues related to tense IT bands in my legs, which have caused a whole host of other knee-related issues (like my knee dislocating for a while, that was not fun). I see a lot of similarities. You go to a professional who may or may not be also trained as a doctor, you get things to practice on, and then you get checked out next time. It's also likely something you'll have to deal with, maybe on and off, for the rest of your life. Like my IT bands, I'll have stretches to do when I feel them tensing, but I may have soreness and repeated injuries forever anyway. What's changed is now I know how to do both preventative and remedial exercises. And I think anxiety and depression work similarly. We learn strategies on how to deal with it over time, and do preventative things like talk therapy or CBT, but sometimes we still get caught up in it.

I just thought of this now, so it might not make sense to anyone else, but it just kinda makes sense to me? Thanks for the thinking point!

shelleygold wrote: »

I would really like to know what you think about this area?

Sometimes meds are critically necessary. Sometimes meds can take the edge off so that we can be able to learn and apply other skills so that we don't need meds long term. Each case is different.

allenpriest wrote: »

shelleygold wrote: »

I would really like to know what you think about this area?

Sometimes meds are critically necessary. Sometimes meds can take the edge off so that we can be able to learn and apply other skills so that we don't need meds long term. Each case is different.

Amen to this, allenpriest!

I would love to forgo big pharma. I've tried, with bad results. Each case is different, and frankly, each rise and fall of my own depression is also different. Without being able to exercise, the drug that worked so well in July is no longer working. Sigh, back to the proverbial drawing board. Could I try again to just stop taking pharma drugs and see what happens? I could, but I really don't want my children visiting me in a mental hospital. I'm not being dramatic. There are so many levels and severities of this "issue" we call depression........ Not wanting to be alive anymore just feels like an illness to me. It is not normal to want to die. Maybe I use the term "illness" as a crutch. I will never kill myself. Never. As much as I would like to. I tell myself it is the illness that wants to die, not me. That, and not wanting to give my children the legacy of a mother who left them through suicide....... Keep me alive. (On my darkest of days)