"You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?

rankinsect wrote: »

reachingunder120 wrote: »

I'm good friends with a married couple.

Right after I first started visibly showing my weight loss I was having dinner at their house and the husband asked me if I thought his wife looked too big.

Like he was saying that his wife is shorter than me and bigger than me and she looks great so why would I want to lose weight?

That whole conversation stumped the hell out of me.

His wife is bigger than I was when I started to lose weight. When he said that I was thinking that I wouldn't want to weigh her weight but obviously I wasn't about to answer that question. That was one minefeild I was not about to walk into. Like I'm not gonna discuss your wife/one of my best friends weight. That's just strange and creepy.

Man, that's the kind of question where the only right answer is to fake your death on the spot.

It was hella strange. Like I think it was his way of saying you're thin enough or something but it was a strange way to do that. I'm just glad his wife didn't hear the convo. Like I love them but... What?

People tell me that all the time. But, my doctor does not tell me that, my running club buddies don't tell me that, the people I work out with don't tell me that...so I ignore everyone else. I think a lot of well-meaning people simply don't know what fit and healthy people look like.

pobalita wrote: »

People tell me that all the time. But, my doctor does not tell me that, my running club buddies don't tell me that, the people I work out with don't tell me that...so I ignore everyone else. I think a lot of well-meaning people simply don't know what fit and healthy people look like.

Similar here. People's views of what is normal has changed as the majority of people in the US are overweight or obese. I'm the same weight I was in college, but relative to other people, I'm now slimmer than I was back then.

I get people telling me that all the time. I told a friend that I was thinking of getting some sessions with a personal trainer this year to continue my goals and the response I got was "you don't need one".

Other comments I get are:
"you can eat this, you go to the gym all the time"
"you don't have any more weight to lose"

People assume that weight loss and management are so easy because they see the results, but they're not there with you to see all the hard work you put into it. They also don't realize that once you lose weight you have to continue to work at maintaining it. It's a lifestyle change, not a temporary fix that will yield permanent results.

arahn777 wrote: »

Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you respond to comments like this?

I dealt with the same problem when I first officially lost weight. I went from 196-121 and within the first few months some people would tell me "I look to skinny". At first I had those thoughts "am I developing an eating disorder?" and especially "do I have body dysmorphia" because sometimes I still "feel" overweight. I started to realize that most of those comments were coming from people who had a very unhealthy out look on life, were very overweight and might have been jealous of my accomplishments. Especially when they would spitefully tell me to "eat a cookie you're too thin". Usually I just ignore them/shrug them off and they go away. I don't usually justify comments like that with a response. If any of my close relatives made a comment, I knew it was because it was too new for them (especially because I lost most of my weight while away at school, so they didn't see the overall slow process but the end result). It's been about 4 years now and no one tells me I'm too skinny and I definitely don't have an eating disorder.
You just need to listen to your body and do what feels right for you. As long as you're staying within what doctors would consider a healthy range for your body, I would just ignore people; unless they are close loved ones who are genuinely concerned for your health, they need a dose of MYOB!

My mother on the phone today told me that I looked like I had lost more weight and "you don't want to get too skinny!". It's like there's a tipping point. Up to 140 lbs or so people were so proud of me and said I looked awesome and praised the hell out of me. Now that I'm 126 lbs people are suddenly worried, think I'm too thin, ask me if I'm OK and if I'm eating.

I'm 5'4, 126 lbs is right in the middle of my normal weight range I hate having to repeat that over and over.

shell1005 wrote: »

I still think that there is much less "skinny shaming" than "fat shaming" in society if we are being honest. Skinny folk are generally seen as nicer, more attractive, smarter, healthier, more dedicated, etc.

Let's not pretend that skinny or normal body weight folks are some discriminated class of citizens.

I also think 99% of the time those who say don't lose too much or that you are getting skinny are just reconciling the new you with the old you they have known forever. While it may be annoying or bothersome, it's really understandable and quite normal IMO.

I completely agree with this.

Skinny is meant as a compliment in today's society. It's sort of like if we run together and I'm like "if you run any faster, your shoes are going to catch on fire." Am I insulting how fast you run? No I'm trying to compliment you while being funny. Am I jealous of how fast you run? Quite possibly. Should you be insulted I just commented on how fast you run? No. Do I joke about how slow other people run? No, because that's an insult. Maybe the difference is a lot of folks on here are trying to be fit and healthy rather than society's currently positive model values of skinny/scrawny. I'll leave with a quote "Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice."

The first time I lost weight (44kg), the skinny-shaming got so bad from my two sisters, my mother was on the phone crying because they convinced her that I was anorexic. I wasn't - I was a healthy 63kg. My elder sister is my height and was the same weight as me. My other sister was obese. Back then, I didn't know how to answer.

This time I know what to do. I will not allow such negativity in my life or allow ANYONE to get away with comments like that. Fat shaming is horrible; it happened to me quite a lot when I was younger, but skinny shaming is another dimension.

my mom has been the worst offender on this for me. even though i could probably lose another 10 lbs and still be in the "healthy" weight range (bmi-wise).

honestly, i think it has everything to do with her and nothing to do with me. she is now where i was at my starting point; had she spent the last year focused on slimming down like i have, i don't think she'd say that "i'd better not lose any more weight."

i'm back down to my high school weight, and she never had a problem with me being this weight when i was in high school (and i'm still 5'0", so i doubt that 100 pounds looks different on me now then it did ten years ago).

I get that a lot. I never know how to respond because as a ballerina the question makes me feel even worse. Despite popular belief, my ballet instructors have always encouraged me to gain weight and I have never had an eating disorder. They have given me protein shakes and bars and different meal plans to try and gain weight, but nothing seems to work. I eat more calories on the days I have classes or rehearsals than when I don't. I have been stuck at this weight for about 4 years and I am really trying to gain at least another 10.