We broke up because...
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her secretary was hot...how could I not hit on him0
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It's complicated0
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He was always having hot flashes and sweating uncontrollably0
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Everything was complicated even that 70's stache...0
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She said I have a mustache0
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She didn't like my stache0
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he wanted me to have a mustache, even tried gluing cat hair to my upper lip0
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Was allergic to my cats0
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was a member of the cat of the month club0
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cat was a code name for "playmate" of the month - I couldn't handle that much rotation0
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She wanted to play with others0
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he knew I liked a man in a tool belt but he wore it endlessly0
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lol!!! There was nothing hammer-ish about him0
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Would come home hammered and fall asleep0
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all he did was sleep when I wanted to have fun0
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singing "girls just wanna have fun" ALL the time was more than I could handle0
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never stopped reading my mind - no secrets to be had0
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Only wanted to do it in the bedroom at 3AM0
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not true, it was the only time he was awake0
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She slept during sex0
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She kept calling me crazy eyes!0
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I came to discover that she was slipping Rohypnol into my tea!0
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She wanted to be tea bagged. I couldn't do it0
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Wonderwomanvik wrote: »She wanted to be tea bagged. I couldn't do it
Lmao (actually just spat my drink out!)0 -
She was always spitting at me when she talked!0
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She hated that I always swallowed0
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I dont know what shes always talking about swallowing and I really dont want to!
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buried me in the sand... and left me there0
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Left me outside during Hurricane Sandy
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He was an abusive alcholholic that told me everything was my fault.0
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