WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2016

CJ your not going depress anyone for venting. I am glad your friend was so understanding. That must be a relief. It is always hard to have to cut someone out of your life especially if you wanted it to work so badly. I know how that feels. You will get back on track. Don't beat yourself up. We all fall of the good eating wagon. Hugs to you.

Anne from Wisconsin

Just a quick note - I was reading a recipe and saw "shortening" and thought of Heather's comment - so googled shortening in UK and this is what I got :

Many people in the UK are confused by the term "Shortening" and don't think it is available in the UK. In fact, in the UK shortening is available under brand names such as Cookeen, Trex, White Flora, etc.

In France, the predominate brand, which is called "Végétaline", is made from hydrogenated coconut oil.

Marcelyn - I love the prom story!!!

Kim in N. Cal

Anne from Wisconsin:
((((hugs))))) I have a journal as well, and for me there are moments I am stressed I write it down and not let it have a hold on me. It helps. It has also helped me to stay in the moment, be present. All that is important is blessed things I am writing down. It also has a calming affect to just write, kind of like coloring (which I do as well...I have the large box of crayons!)

This phrase helps me some days:

Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.
Maybe its unbecoming everything that isn't you
so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.

For me it shed a lot of light on how I was raised, (by Betty Crocker herself) and expectations of being a mother. I have let go of many things (all the baking, and complicated meals) and learned to embrace simplicity.

I have embraced the joys of living a imperfect lifestyle and being perfect at it. Imperfectly perfect....thats me to a T:-)
Becca
Oregon

Probably the longest post in my life ... Definitely do not have to read it ... I'm just totally 'scattered' today, have been all week long. I am 'really' scattered now ... so I am sure that I have jumped around and totally gone off-base; and, probably repeated myself. Please say some prayers for me about this entire week and what-all has been happening to me. Hopefully, it will resolve itself. Have my physical on Friday.

Miriam – When I have had to get pants taken in (too big or whatever) usually the first place that it taken out in in the crotch inside seam of leg and usually a tuck over each hip. I had some pants that were ‘taken in’ and before I got around to wearing all of the pairs; I lost some more; they got to the point that they really could not be taken in without looking like they had been altered. Bought some clothes to last for the summer with a lot of interchanging tops and bottoms.

Karen in Virginia – I got onto some really ‘snarky’ threads before I found this one. They’d start off like a ‘game’ … where to you come from – then each person got ‘snarkier’ and ‘snarkier’ and more on the ‘sexual’ side and I don’t know how MFP tolerates this. I got off and unclicked the star on the thing. I would have reported a few of them. I don’t think that FB would tolerate some of this dirt; or at least they ‘say’ they don’t. I don’t have an account anymore, so I don’t really care. My DDnL#1 ‘friends’ everybody and follows just about everything that comes her way. I don’t think she understands the concept of privacy … MMMMmmmmm, both my sisters have ‘deleted’ her from her friend connection. My oldest dear sister called her up and RAILED her about posting some of the things; and, they were showing up on ‘her’ friends’ walls. I don’t like that they won’t ‘delete’ your account fully if you just ‘deactivate’ your account; and, supposedly, it is still ‘up’ so that others can still find you. When I got off FB – I did not want anybody to ‘find me’. So I went in and ‘unfriended’ everybody, delete (highlighted and deleted) as much of my ‘stuff’ as I could, then I ‘closed’ the account. I don’t miss it. I’d rather chat with you ladies.

Chris in MA – Great NSV – on the loss of sizes/inches in clothes. Get ‘em outta the house; and, you won’t slip (probably). I tried on a pair of jeans and they swallowed me. Got rid of them, or have them ‘in car’ to donate. I did not change in weight; but, I did in % and inches. One-and-a-half pounds of ‘muscle’ gained.

Ladies – I have had one HELL of a week … seems like it has ‘lasted’ forever and it’s only been part of a week. Monday, since I still did not have a ‘rental car’ to use (DH ‘thought’ we could get away without having to rent one). Well, Monday … I had to go to the MD (diet and GP), so I stayed from weigh-in time through the GP appointment, then I called my DBF to come pick me up, run some errands and go to her condo to stay until DH could come pick me up. I am about to do some ‘major’ venting (probably borders of B*******!!!!!). She is good about letting me stay there and wait until DH stops his job and can come get me. I was prepared for a nice quiet afternoon. Since she was taking me on errands during her lunch time. She basically called the shots. Got into her car as guy got out of the passenger seat into the back. I’m there thinking to myself. Gee, what ‘young bum’ has she ‘picked up off the street’. At first glance, he did not look familiar … got in the car, turned slightly to the left and saw this ‘legs and arms’ slumped in the back seat. I looked at her and finally she asked ‘XXX’, aren’t you going to speak to “Miss Lenora?” He mumbled and I realized, ‘oh *kitten*, this is her GS (one she has raised practically since he was a young toddler). Thinking to myself … WHAT have you gotten ‘into’? She said, ‘oh we’re going to drop him off’ (as she referred to it – anywhere he wants to go). I am thinking … she keeps telling me that ‘he is not back at her house’. I don’t ‘think’ so. But … So I can't get

So we run a few errands as he is ‘passed out’ in the back seat of the car. Literally! You could have dragged his limp body out of the door and laid him on the ground, he’d never have known it. Well, we ‘finally’ found the ankle support I needed at the Prosthetic place in downtown. It was taking a while and she came in – steaming (not at me, but – him). She asked how long it would take and I told her not long, surely. She went out and got back in the car, got out again, and came in and told me ‘it’ll only take 5 minutes to ‘run him down to his friends a/k/a “The Hood” … bad section of town. Now, she is driving a Beemer, dressed up. I’d have put his @$$ out and told him to ‘walk’ there! BUT, she took him and I finished my transaction. By the time she returns … she is HOT!

I casually looked over at her and asked, ‘WHY do you CONTINUE to let him in your house, especially in that condition?’ Of course, she ‘said’ he had not been staying at her house. While 'frankly I don't give a damn' is how I feel, I am concerned about her and her safety. Sorry after this week, I am beginning to think (well I know) she is a ‘classic’ class of being an ‘enabler’. She throws him out, he comes back (if not to stay, then to dump his $#*T at her house. This kid has been a problem since his early teens. BUT, back to where she ‘says’ … ‘oh he isn’t staying with me’ …. We go by a drive-thru and get something and she leaves me at her place. During the middle of the afternoon, I am in her living room, sitting in a rocker, reading and occasionally watching TV when suddenly the door (glass door) blooms OPEN! In walks this ‘kid’ that is ‘supposed’ to be the GS and another boy … they walk in, as they are walking through the room, he says, ‘this is “X”, this is “Miss Lenora” and they walk out the patio door. I’m thinking … OK, his clothes are in the middle of the floor in her office (off the living room). I get up and rearrange my seating area, and they walk back in. First thing I had noticed when getting there was his camera – on other chair; since I noticed his initials on it … I knew it was his. He spent 30+ minutes in there unpacking, repacking, unpacking, repacking his ‘stuff’ and then he started following the wires from the plug-in to the end of them. He is fidgeting and the other boy keeps looking over his shoulder at me.

I’m NOT scared of her GS; but, this is a guy that I have never seen with him (and he ‘supposedly’ has just shown up). However ... by the time I stopped 'screaming' (if I had not recognized him) the neighbors 'might' have called them. I sure hope she has good insulation (sound). I know I've been 'caught in the car' with them or her (on the phone with her ... on speaker phone). I'm sorry, but I want to scream, 'stop the world, I want to stop being slung by its tail'. Louder and one octave higher (both of them).

I had seen him drive up in her car, and I ‘knew’ that she had given him her key to keep him from making a ‘huge’ scene at work. They parked in the slot in front of the office, not the front door. So when I looked up I saw the car turn in; figured she was home. When they left I called her and said that Ross had been there. She was ‘surprised’. He knows she doesn’t want him in her house; certainly does not dragging someone ‘else’ inside. She said, ‘oh that’s ok, it is probably “X”. Then she asked if GS had been upstairs. No, he got as far as the landing, turned around, and saw the camera. He grabbed it and held it up and said, “YEEEEESSSS, as he went back into her office.” I figured, they’d leave … She was ‘ok’ with the fact that he had been there, said that he ‘rifles’ through things when he is looking for things such as $$ or things to hock. I told her that he had not gone upstairs. I’m just concerned that she had said, ‘they had had a knock-down drag-out that morning and he had thrown things and broken the remote control’. One day, he is going to NOT stop there to get his way for $$. When she asked what the other guy looked like; then asked if he was 'big' and said, 'big, blondish hair, dumb looking guy'. She asked, 'his hair is not dark'? NO ... 'Damn it ... that isn't the one she knows'.

DH and DOS come to get me shortly after 5:00pm and I am a tea-totaling basket of nerves. So I get in the truck and tell DH that I have an appointment on Wednesday … and I really wasn’t looking for any other encounters. DH was upset that she had put me into this situation. I told him that she 'claimed' to be 'surprised' that he even stopped by, he knew I was going to be there. I told her that is probably 'why' he came, he knew I would not raise any can, like she would, and figured I would not have called her about it ... which I did not do until he left.

Again, with 'excuses'. As someone who grew up around an attorney's office and working in one my entire career; I know what drug and alcohol abuse does to people. You just cannot save every puppy in the pound. Got to choose your battles and fight them as you get to them. She's tried everything; but, when she is 'strong' enough to lock him out of the house, he'll mess up the door trying to get in. Her sisters ... will NOT allow him back at their houses, his Dad's wife won't even allow him to 'darken' their doors. They have a 12-year-old daughter and with is condition ... I can understand it. BF holds out that he will finally 'see the light' and 'turn himself around'. I don't think so at this point. The ADHD he is living with gives him a disadvantage as it begins with. He will stay off it to take the piss test for Probation, and he will 'sell' his medication for $$ to get 'high' on.

On Tuesday, for the 2nd day – I ask her to ‘please’ print out and bring out tax return to the office so I could take it to the bank. Again, ‘oh, I will remember’. So on Wednesday, go in – sit at the dentist office which is just right next door for nearly an hour reading after my appointment (and I bite, well, chomp down on his finger) as he is putting in my night guard. He had asked about DH and of course, had my eyes shut and said, 'he's still short, he'll still bald, and he'll still painting ... he'll probably do that until they find him in the bushes with the brush going up and down. He got silent, and I pop my eyes open. This man is over 6'5 (easily), balding, and has a twisted sense of humor. Told me that 'if' I chomped down on his finger again, he would just send me home without adjusting it. So I started to 'act right'. I finally walk over to her office – she, co-worker, and I go to have lunch. Then she takes me to her house. I had been a little ‘upset’ with her to NOT doing what she promised she’d do … and then having GS walk in on me. I told her, that IF I had not seen him on Monday AM; and, ‘if’ I had had a conceived-carry permit; we might have had a REAL mess on our hands. NOT expecting him like that … I would have ‘shot first, asked questions later’. I did not ‘appreciate’ the position she put me in (or that GS had put me in).

Wednesday, go back and 'again' she tells me ... 'oh I forgot' ... I will bring it in and make sure I have it with me at lunch and take it to the bank myself'. At this point, I have just about lost it with her. How long would it take, couldn't take long. We will come and get it ... but got to get it OFF the printer and into her hands.

So on Sunday night, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday of this week I have begs my BF to please make sure she gets it for me, DH is beginning to stand on his last nerve. "Don't piss on me, and tell me it is raining." Just do the short, little simple task and I won't get my panties up my @$$.

When she did not bring it on Friday (after had told me on Thursday (at some point that she'd get it at lunch and take it to the bank ... ladies ... I know this is rambling ... Forgive me; can't stay 'on task' ... Not sure that I can actually do this 'stay at home' and 'try to do something'. This weekend, at some point, I am going to have DH take me into town so I can buy a canvas to start my 'time alone without a car'. DH does not want me in the pool, walking around in the yard ... until I am feeling better and more steady on my feet.

I don’t really remember what all transpired on Thursday … but, it was bad. For the 4th time, I go by and ask her please remember to print it out, ... Dh is beginning to 'chomp at the bit' - she's NOT going to get it in a timely fashion. I'm NOT going to say another word about it - because 'if' I do, I will probably 'lose' it and give her a piece of my mind ... that would not be pretty either. I told him - since he wants it so bad ... then HE needs to call her; I am not going in and be told she forgot it or she will bring it to us, take it to the bank, da-do-doo-doo. I looked at her and she seemed 'rested'. I got that (somewhat) smug look across her face (she is posturing to be the 'big dog' and I'm not interested in planning games about it. When she told me that she would probably 'try' to finish out taxes for last year .. I just 'rolled my eyes'. I've been hearing that for 2 months now. In one ear, out the other. By then, I had a rental car (had gotten it on Wednesday). DH had decided that ‘living’ out in the country and not have means for transportation was ‘getting to him, more than me’. So, after the 3rd promise of bringing the paperwork in with her … she had put a big sticky on her pocketbook and taped it on, ‘Print out return and bring it back to office’. I get there, walk in, and ‘dough pop’ forehead, ‘oh *kitten*, I’m sorry … I forgot it again’. I walked out and said ‘well, do you want to have lunch again this week while I am in town’. Made appointment to ‘meet her’ at her favorite restaurant. So I drive to the bank, give the woman the stuff I had so far and explained that BF had just not been able to get around to doing it. She looked at me, I looked at her … what I remember next was her asking me, ‘are you ok, you don’t look so ….’! Last thing I remember before the EMTs had me on their gurney and were talking to me. They were asking questions about what I remembered, so on and so forth. I am adamant about NOT having a seizure.

Actually when she tells me that GS would not be 'out to her condo'. I looked at her as if to say, 'yeah right'. Not this week anyway ... guess where he is ... DUH! So he goes out to Walmart, he was supposed to come pick her up at 6:30pm, 8:30 rolled around and she 'sort of' figured out where he'd be ... so she calls the jail and asks if he is there. Sure enough he gets picked up at Walmart 'shoplifting' and is locked up for it. Asked what the bond was, and it is only $400. She goes home and he is calling, 'Grandmamma - I need to get out of her'. No, you are exactly where you need to be, locked up so that you won't be 'doing stupid things'; and, told him that maybe he could get the 'thugs' he has been hanging with to pool their money and post him out themselves.

I ‘turned’ left into the driveway and hit the storm sewer curb part of driveway, it had been a little rough and bumpy. At that point … I was so ‘confused’ out what was going on, that I argued with the guy and asked him, ‘how do you even know that I have a seizure disorder’? (Of course, thinking to myself – OH $#*T … our car insurance is going to be cancelled or hiked up so high we will have to change it’. Let me back up a second … when I had gone to friend’s office, I had on a ‘new’ top; since it was macramé-ed at the top; I figured, ‘what the hell … I just won’t wear a bra today’. FIRST thing she asked when I came in was, ‘Lenora, do you have on a bra today”? I look down and say, ‘well, no – is it that noticeable’? “Oh yeah, it is.” Of course, she wears a bra all the time. I rarely wear one. HATE THEM! Of course, that really 'upset' me. She knew I was upset ... she had work to do, and I needed to run my errands. I asked her 5x from Sunday night until Thursday night to please bring them to me.

So I am talking to the EMT; and getting more upset about ‘what happened’ and ‘why’ … to answer my question, he picks up my Med Alert necklace and said, ‘we got it from here, and you are also allergic to latex, penicillin, etc., … Husband’s been called … will meet us wherever you tell us to go. Mmm, no won’t go there. So I get to the ER (again, in a week) and I am totally disoriented. DH comes in to see me, he talks to the ER MD and tells him ‘I seem to be okay’ and he should be called … if there is a change or I need to be picked up. Well, he comes to get me and I don’t want to go to BF’s place and told him that I’d SIT IN THE DAMN TRUCK before I went back … I wasn’t going to put myself back into the position and ‘if’ I went back … I was afraid I’d say something that might be taken incorrectly and ‘hurt the 25+ year relationship’.

I had the worst nightmares/night tremors/night sweats … whatever it was – I do NOT want to go back there again. I felt like I was burning up! Like running through an earthquake scene on a movie. DH was ‘finally’ able to get me calm enough to fall asleep. Slept hard until AM. Today, I have been totally ‘unconnected’. I get up and look in the mirror … then look down … my only thought was ‘damn I sure look like my oldest sister’ … but everybody tells me that I ‘look exactly like my Mother’. Well really long, long story – short! I feel a ‘little’ better; but, it is obvious that I have been ‘steam-roller’ run over! Several times.

Oh, and we went out to eat at the Mexican Restaurant. I ate about ½ of a taco salad.
Well, he is the windy version of “As the World Turns” – monthly edition. So, I am NOW on a 6-month driving restriction. Can you say ‘…? DH is thrilled about it’. He understands it is necessary; but it does come full of strategic planning because of it. So, I guess Monday I need to call my GP; and ask if my ‘physical’ on Friday can be my ‘follow-up’. Gee, Magee

I’m sorry, but, I needed to type it out … I want to feel better and want to get back into a ‘routine’ … This jaggedness is driving me crazy. So, I probably won’t be allowed to get in the pool, or even walk around the property without DH being with me. BOO-HOO! At least, it will give me focus on straightening out all the cabinets, drawers, etc. But, I’d really ‘like’ to think that I could have done it without being chained to the floor.
I know this is ‘random’ … but, like I said, I needed to get it out. I’m sure there are 100s of typos; but, I don’t have the strength to proof it. Just pray that this gets straightened out. Diagnosis was drop in Dilantin level that was not ‘therapeutic’. Gave me 2 pills to take last night at 6:00pm.

I am beginning to 'feel' like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Permanently 'stuck' in position of the grand pupa.

Lenora, with Caterpillar tractor tracks up my back in Georgia (or somewhere …)

Lenora, Prayers; you got it. Praying things get way better for you really quickly.

Larisa

Hi everyone. I am new to this thread, and am excited to have found it! I'm not sure if I'm posting right, but sure hope this shows up where its suppose to! Just a little introduction about me. I'm 57 years old and live in California. I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes three weeks ago. I need to change my lifestyle and eating habits. Not only do I need to, but I want to as well. I'm tired of being tired. My hobbies are writing children's books. I published one in 2009 and have another in the works. I also like to collect miniatures, read, and play Facebook games. I know I know...I need to get off the couch and start moving! I do have an autoimmune illness that causes me a lot of pain. And I think I use that pain as an excuse not to exercise. When in reality, I can walk...even if its slow. I need to walk more. Anyway, just a little about me. Hope I haven't bored anyone. And hope I posted this in the right place. Looking forward to getting to know everyone! Vicky

Lenora - Big ((((HUGS)))) coming out to you from across the pond.

CJ - I echo Penny - don't be shy about the professional accomplishment! Whenever I have to deal with difficult people I often think, what would my DDIL do? Then suddenly it seems a lot simpler. It's all about having clear boundaries and valuing yourself enough to expect and demand that other people treat you properly. Otherwise you very kindly and nicely put that distance between you. I would love to be able to always act in that way, but I am getting better at it.

Going to pot up our geraniums today. The garden is looking it's best with apple blossom, lilacs in flower and a backdrop of buttercups in the meadow behind. England at its best.
Going to drag the dahlia out of storage and pot it up. Every year it looks completely dead and then it revives.

DH has just come back from getting the shopping and newspaper. He's made me a mug of coffee. If it weren't for the builders thumping next door, life would be perfect........for now.

Heather UK

17761776 wrote: »

Open fishing, will be below freezing !! Question if you fished would you in this cold, wet , windy weather? I would because of tradition, not all day n I would go n have a wonderful warm lovely breakfast. Hubby is a fisherman n no, he claims not good fishing. Have been warned to cover plants, happy spring! Gayle Minneapolis

I too covered last night. I actually had to repot some of my plants because they were water logged from four days of rain. We needed to send some of the moisture to Canada. My thermometer is at around 34 at 8:00 in the morning. The covers stay on for now. Think warm thoughts.

Marcelyn Happy for your daughter!

Becca agree with you about keeping your power. I often tell this to students especially the ones who get upset when they say someone is bothering them. I do not know what it is in with some people they get a charge out of getting a reaction out of someone. I call them the instigators. I just told this to a student your anger is just telling you something is wrong. Your reaction is not helping solve the problem. Unfortunately it makes it worse. (It also made it worse for everyone around her because she started screaming) Don't let them have your POWER!

Lenora prayers for a better week. You are still healing from your accident too. Take care!

Charleen and Penny love the flower pictures.

CJ No is sometimes my favorite word.

Went to friends concert last night with another set of friends. Particularly liked You Raise Me Up and Sounds of Silence.

Penny that little floof of a flower is adorable!! So glad you shared it and the photo of bunnies (??), they look big. At first I thought I was seeing wolves.

Charleen

Lenora ~ I think I would shell out the money and have someone else do the taxes. That would take a lot of stress off the friendship.

morning peep-c's -

overcast this morning so i think i'll take the kids with to the gym. pretty soon it will be too hot for me to take them and they'll have to stay home. i was planning on not taking them this morning cuz i was going to run outside cuz i gotta do 12 mi today. i thought this morning was going 2b warm but it's not. the treadmill only goes up to 2hrs b4 it shuts off so i should be able to do the 12 in that time and if not, oh well.

kirby is at work, he rode in, i'm curious 2 hear how him new rims felt. he works in OR today so he said he should be home early.

Heather - Bea is indeed a sweetheart. She's really growing, they seem to grow so quickly at this age. What a gorgeous smile. Thanks for sharing.

Janetr OKC