Lost sex drive?

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  • chrazyfarmer
    chrazyfarmer Posts: 16 Member
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    It's hard on the relationship as you can't help it but if you don't talk about it with your partner it seems personal to him .. I had issues with my ex ... She looks back and wishes she had recognised it was an issue . She was fine with no sex drive and to just let me have sex if I wanted it. That idea just repulsed me .. it's just mechanical and boring if you know your partner isn't into it ... And just seems wrong ha. She always says that a change in birth control just changed her .
    Who knows... Either way talk lots and seek help or it will devide you and spoil your relationship
  • ballcoach_08
    ballcoach_08 Posts: 716 Member
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    jen_bush wrote: »
    I find it that losing weight and being more active increases mine :)
    Agreed! Boost in self confidence when you see your results. Plus the endorphins and hormones can get out of balance. Physical activity can help things get back in balance. Not always, but can get things kick started.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    well Im 41(42 in aug) and have been working out for almost 4 years and that hasnt helped me at all! I have lost 44 lbs and look better than I did and again nothing. no drive at all.Dont know when I lost mine but all my hormones are where they are supposed to be and its not the birth control I dont think because its the same kind I was on before I lost it.I cant go off them due to fibroids and heavy periods.we have tried lots of things to spice it up and nada. so for some of us women sometimes you lose your drive and nothing will bring it back. I also hate talking to drs about it because the first thing they ask me is if Im depressed and NO,Im not. They say most women hit their peak in their 40s,well this woman hasnt. Um glad my hubby understands it though and we talk about it,its not easy though
  • JeffreyMGiron
    JeffreyMGiron Posts: 3,582 Member
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    Im wondering when ill lose my Sex drive, in the porn industry you have to have it....there are weeks where it just becomes a job and it sucks..
  • kdtesoriero
    kdtesoriero Posts: 141 Member
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    I am married, unhappily right now... My sex drive is more intense then ever partly because of my age and partly because of my exercising. It's really bad timing for me!!!
  • ClubSilencio
    ClubSilencio Posts: 2,983 Member
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    You should get some lab work done. It's not normal to be young and have no sex drive... especially if you're at a healthy weight, no stress in your life, and not on medication (although you did say hormone-free BC).

    Nip it in the bud now.

    In the meantime, SQUAT. Go deep and heavy if you can.



  • gcibsthom
    gcibsthom Posts: 30,115 Member
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    I noticed increased weight = decreased sex drive. Plus lack of cardio exercise lessens the drive, and some meds lower it as well. It's hard to tell personally, since I'm married so I can't remember the last time I had sex....Maybe if I was single I could start having sex again....the drive is high, just nobody to enjoy it with....
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    My highest weight was around 180-great libido, when I started losing weight it got even better.

    When I got down to 128 lbs and was trying to get lean AF, lifting heavy weights and eating LOW fat...I lost my libido completely. I mean I felt horrible. I felt like less of a woman. The combination of training, freaking out about dieting, and low fat intake just killed my libido. I do recommend that women consider their training. stress levels, and macronutrient intake when this happens.
  • Tsartele
    Tsartele Posts: 683 Member
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    arditarose wrote: »
    My highest weight was around 180-great libido, when I started losing weight it got even better.

    When I got down to 128 lbs and was trying to get lean AF, lifting heavy weights and eating LOW fat...I lost my libido completely. I mean I felt horrible. I felt like less of a woman. The combination of training, freaking out about dieting, and low fat intake just killed my libido. I do recommend that women consider their training. stress levels, and macronutrient intake when this happens.

    Sounds like your issues were psychological ... more than physical
  • trvshm
    trvshm Posts: 79 Member
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    I believe that it helps for sure. Working out increases both men's and woman's testosterone level and confidence. I think that there is both a physical and physiological benefit.
  • williammuney
    williammuney Posts: 2,895 Member
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    It's called marriage ....
  • Dr1nkbleachndye
    Dr1nkbleachndye Posts: 441 Member
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    I've been with my wife from 10 years. Been married for almost 3, the sex is better now then it has ever been and keeps getting better as time goes by. Communicating with your spouse is going to be a huge thing here that most people overlook in the bedroom. Having a kid and dealing with the added stress of that is going to throw off your primal hormones, and now your maternal hormones kick in, and tbh maternal hormones seem to over power primal hormones so much that if you guys don't do something drastic, this could just end up being what your sex life is like for the rest of your marriage.

    It sounds to me like your husband is really gonna have to focus on trying to seduce you, or atleast put in enough of an effort at getting you in the mood, to where out of appreciation for what he is trying to do, you in turn try to reciprocate. Appreciation is everything when it comes to great sex. Having someone who's sole focus is pleasing you in the bedroom, and not focusing on their own needs is enough to get anyone in the mood. It can be a one sided thing sometimes, which is perfectly fine, but not all the time.

    Like other people have suggested, working out, or staying active is a surefire way to move in the right direction. Just remember that your husband is the only person you are with, while there is obviously boundaries with everything, try bringing things in a different direction. Maybe the way you guys have gone about the foreplay is stale, or you just haven't had enough time alone with each other and the kids out of your way.

    Life is short, you should take the time to enjoy each other.
  • Luke_I_am_your_spotter
    Luke_I_am_your_spotter Posts: 4,179 Member
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    Working out usually increases sex drive--- especially after leg day. lol Sounds like you are more stressed than you realize.
  • myaminals
    myaminals Posts: 197 Member
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    losing weight makes me more confident so definitely an increase as the pounds go down.
  • AdmireDeVoll
    AdmireDeVoll Posts: 46 Member
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    The more sex you have the more sex you'll want to have! If you can focus and make it a priority you can manipulate yourself into a "Gotta have my husband" mind frame.
  • SameOleBill
    SameOleBill Posts: 76 Member
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    cassiecalhoun wrote: »
    Okay, I'm married with two kids. Been married for 5 years. Kids are 1 & 3. I haven't had a sex drive in... Over 6 months? All I want is to want sex again. And don't get me wrong, when I do have sex, it's good stuff. I just can't remember the last time I felt like I had to have it.
    I'm hoping that eating better /working out will help, but I've not heard anyone mention that as a bonus side effect. I've not gained a lot of weight (currently 135), not super stressed... I don't get it.
    Has anyone noticed a boost in that department??

    (wasn't too sure which thread would be best for this, so I chose the most open - minded one)

    Have you ever had your thyroid levels checked? Something to look into if not.
  • Tsartele
    Tsartele Posts: 683 Member
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    TannedTiger wrote: »
    If she lost the sex drive so be it!
    Why is everyone freaking out.

    Its not natural and she wants to have it back...
  • wilsoncl6
    wilsoncl6 Posts: 1,288 Member
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    Being in much better shape will increase your libido but it won't be the miracle cure for a sex drive that's affected by stressors. Kids, work and the like, as well as getting into a rut, can kill your sex drive. A lot of it may be hormonal, psychological, or just being tired or stressed. Set aside one night out of the week where it's just you and your significant other, where you can do something exciting and romantic, get in shape and focus on those things that you both found exciting and inticing about each other to begin with. Do somethin fun and different.
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
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    AdmireDeVoll wrote: »
    The more sex you have the more sex you'll want to have! If you can focus and make it a priority you can manipulate yourself into a "Gotta have my husband" mind frame.

    how long does this generally take? Asking for a friend.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    i have no idea

    ive lost 150ish pounds and my sex drive is i would say only slightly higher than it was when i was a extra fat muffin

    i dont know ive always had periods of "i literally do not care at all about sex" and then periods of "im going to bang every single person i want for at least 3 years ok bye"

    have you talked to your husband about it?

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