Celibacy for a set amount of time
Replies
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Ashley___916 wrote: »I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.
Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade
If anything the number of meaningful opportunities will increase. The less meaningful will always be there, only a few shots of tequila away.
Let's go out1 -
Ashley___916 wrote: »I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.
Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade
If anything the number of meaningful opportunities will increase. The less meaningful will always be there, only a few shots of tequila away.
Let's go out
I don't drink tequila
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Ashley___916 wrote: »I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.
Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade
If anything the number of meaningful opportunities will increase. The less meaningful will always be there, only a few shots of tequila away.
Let's go out
and im not a lambo
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Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)?
Done that three different times in my life, starting back in my early 20's, once in my mid 30's, and once when I was just over 40. Duration ranged from almost 2 months to over 7 months.
I will just say, the biggest force in the world that most people do not reckon with is their own sexuality. Of everything it is the hardest to deny and understand, and it causes more issues, confuses, and distract people from their true paths more than almost everything a person deals with. For me, it was important to understand it for myself.
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Ashley___916 wrote: »Ashley___916 wrote: »I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.
Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade
If anything the number of meaningful opportunities will increase. The less meaningful will always be there, only a few shots of tequila away.
Let's go out
and im not a lambo
@ashley_916 is that a hard no? I don't want you to drink tequila just yet. And I don't need a lambo, as long as she's high quality2 -
Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)?
Done that three different times in my life, starting back in my early 20's, once in my mid 30's, and once when I was just over 40. Duration ranged from almost 2 months to over 7 months.
I will just say, the biggest force in the world that most people do not reckon with is their own sexuality. Of everything it is the hardest to deny and understand, and it causes more issues, confuses, and distract people from their true paths more than almost everything a person deals with. For me, it was important to understand it for myself.
I like this. Thanks for the story, especially including the age you tried this at0 -
Ashley___916 wrote: »Ashley___916 wrote: »I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.
Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade
If anything the number of meaningful opportunities will increase. The less meaningful will always be there, only a few shots of tequila away.
Let's go out
and im not a lambo
@ashley_916 is that a hard no? I don't want you to drink tequila just yet. And I don't need a lambo, as long as she's high quality
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I want to thank each of you for what appears to be honest and open conversation. It's a subject people have to think about in their lives.0
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »I want to thank each of you for what appears to be honest and open conversation. It's a subject people have to think about in their lives.
No problem Jerome!!!0 -
JessicaJS23 wrote: »JeromeBarry1 wrote: »I want to thank each of you for what appears to be honest and open conversation. It's a subject people have to think about in their lives.
No problem Jerome!!!
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha why is it always about you @jessicajs230 -
May give you time to put full focus into yourself. There would have to be self-fulfillment though. I personally would go crazy.0
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I was voluntarily celibate for 2+ years. I was in a *kitten* place in my life and needed to take control. It was hard at first but after a about 6 months, it became easier. I had a high sex drive and it was incredibly difficult to pass up the opportunities that were given. After about a year, it was mostly second nature. It was frustrating to have my control tested... but in the end, it really helped me learn that I have control over my life and the things I do and that I can do anything I set my mind to with the right amount of willpower. I would promote it to you if you think it's something that would help you... but it's certainly not going to be fun.
Control is what I'm seeking. Although I worry the number of opportunities will fade
Ehhhhh you're still a hottie I can't imagine it's going to fade like you think! Best of luck with whatever you decide!
@kace_kayak thanks for the compliment, but I'm 40 and I can't imagine that they won't lol
Don't worry about being 40...lol....40 is the new 25!! I'm almost 47 and my guy still gawks and climbs all over me AL THE TIME....men still stare, some guys even try to peek at me in the car from their trucks..yes the compliments slow down a bit, but it doesn't go away, it just changes.. (not being conceited here whatsoever, I just want you to realize, just because we're getting older, our sexuality is still there, and people's attractions to us is still there too)lol. When you do get into a real relationship, instead of casual hookups, the quality of your sex will EXPLODE....I can almost promise you that. xo1 -
nope...can't do it. lol0
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Couldn't do it! My life would be crappy without good sex and good wine.0
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I was celibate for 16 years. Best 16th birthday party ever.6
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Will it be productive? For me it's every 2 to 3 months, my wife lost her sex drive after eating wedding cake (what the hell do they make it with???).
After well over a decade of anger and frustration (married 26 years) I learned that to be a better husband I needed to suppress that part of me and I learned to do that well but it has left me with the feeling that I'm not a whole person since a significant part of who I am needs to be "in the closet" and I don't see how that can be productive.3 -
2011rocket3touring wrote: »Will it be productive? For me it's every 2 to 3 months, my wife lost her sex drive after eating wedding cake (what the hell do they make it with???).
After well over a decade of anger and frustration (married 26 years) I learned that to be a better husband I needed to suppress that part of me and I learned to do that well but it has left me with the feeling that I'm not a whole person since a significant part of who I am needs to be "in the closet" and I don't see how that can be productive.
Nothing about that sounds healthy for you... ;/
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No.
Just no.
It counts towards my cardio.
Again, no.1 -
I went without for a year in my mid twenties! My nickname became 'long time boy'...why? Too much aids speculation at the time so I sat on the shelf until the so-called experts sorted their *kitten* out. I guess I dared myself and tested my will.1
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I'm celibate until I meet someone with long-term potential, which is impossible, so forever. Too much bad mojo when things get out of hand with the wrong person. .2
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2011rocket3touring wrote: »Will it be productive? For me it's every 2 to 3 months, my wife lost her sex drive after eating wedding cake (what the hell do they make it with???).
After well over a decade of anger and frustration (married 26 years) I learned that to be a better husband I needed to suppress that part of me and I learned to do that well but it has left me with the feeling that I'm not a whole person since a significant part of who I am needs to be "in the closet" and I don't see how that can be productive.
I don't see how that can be productive either. You can't suppress a side of yourself and not do some damage. I'm admire you for sticking with it though....0 -
2011rocket3touring wrote: »Will it be productive? For me it's every 2 to 3 months, my wife lost her sex drive after eating wedding cake (what the hell do they make it with???).
After well over a decade of anger and frustration (married 26 years) I learned that to be a better husband I needed to suppress that part of me and I learned to do that well but it has left me with the feeling that I'm not a whole person since a significant part of who I am needs to be "in the closet" and I don't see how that can be productive.
How sad! That sounds like a horrible situation that you need to change, or else you'll never be happy.0 -
Some of these posts sound so sad and who ever said your sex life slows down in your 40's...get out of here! I have just as much sex now as I did as a horny teenager in my Daddy's Delta 88!! haha. Not saying there weren't years of pure exhaustion, with kids, jobs and non stop running here and there...but we always made it a priority and 24 years later...we are both still just horny kids, just a lot less flexible!0
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Thinking I might try this to clear my head. Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)? And I mean voluntarily because you have a few options, not just some awkward FA, deployed, never tries or a person that is scared of rejection.
If so how did you not become angry and mean during that period?
Your thoughts gents and lasses?
You are 40...Well im 45 and its truly just a number..its hard to believe you have an issue with self esteem or even self worth...but if you TRULY want to do this, you need to do this for you...
Sex is nature....If you're used to it and its taken away. .even if by your own call...Your going to go through the emotions of Iose...that might sound stupid but look at all the comments....I'd go mad (anger) I failed (denial) I did_____ (acceptance).....
Think about WHY you want to be celibate....I dont know your stand on sex....
Are you love thy neighbor..and that neighbor and that neighbor. ....Or just feeling your getting to the point you want to be more selective in a partner. ..whether they are firvthe present or the future. .....
Dont worry about your age....4o is the new 3o...
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Thinking I might try this to clear my head. Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)? And I mean voluntarily because you have a few options, not just some awkward FA, deployed, never tries or a person that is scared of rejection.
If so how did you not become angry and mean during that period?
Your thoughts gents and lasses?
You are 40...Well im 45 and its truly just a number..its hard to believe you have an issue with self esteem or even self worth...but if you TRULY want to do this, you need to do this for you...
Sex is nature....If you're used to it and its taken away. .even if by your own call...Your going to go through the emotions of Iose...that might sound stupid but look at all the comments....I'd go mad (anger) I failed (denial) I did_____ (acceptance).....
Think about WHY you want to be celibate....I dont know your stand on sex....
Are you love thy neighbor..and that neighbor and that neighbor. ....Or just feeling your getting to the point you want to be more selective in a partner. ..whether they are firvthe present or the future. .....
Dont worry about your age....4o is the new 3o...
@Tophermom The why? I have been very loose about who I slept with, as long as she was attractive I've went for it. My body has afforded me many extra opportunities to be with women for the short term. Now I'm tired of short term fb and realized that I can't find someone that I even remotely know that would actually take a chance and date me. I thought I would throw the celibacy idea out and get some feedback. I don't really have a lot of self-control unless I am committed to someone. I made this mess of my life with sex, it's bad enough I can't even get the friend part of a fwb. I was questioning if I messed everything up with sex, maybe no sex is the answer (temporarily at least). It's not something I want to do; I'm scared no one would even want me for a fb if I cut sex out, and I'm worried that I will never meet someone that I actually connect with on every level if I continue having empty meaningless sex2 -
jajomo0118 wrote: »Some of these posts sound so sad and who ever said your sex life slows down in your 40's...get out of here! I have just as much sex now as I did as a horny teenager in my Daddy's Delta 88!! haha. Not saying there weren't years of pure exhaustion, with kids, jobs and non stop running here and there...but we always made it a priority and 24 years later...we are both still just horny kids, just a lot less flexible!
@jajomo0118 That's great. But I don't know if I'm ever going to actually be in a real relationship
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@zatikkThinking I might try this to clear my head. Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)? And I mean voluntarily because you have a few options, not just some awkward FA, deployed, never tries or a person that is scared of rejection.
If so how did you not become angry and mean during that period?
Your thoughts gents and lasses?
Coming from someone who is celibate.
I've been celibate for a year now and it has helped me really focus on my studies/goals/transformation. That tension/ anger that builds up is easily sweat out at the gym for me. I don't need dick in my life to make me happy or sane. I've come to realize I want someone to be with me not because of their sexual attraction to me, but instead, my mind, soul, and heart. Sex is a great thing when shared with the right person at the right time. I don't have anything againts anyone who chooses not to be celibate. That is just my opinion and choice!
Keep it up! (Or down lol)
Glad to hear it's working for you. I don't know how to separate sex from overall attraction
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@cameron_1969Cameron_1969 wrote: »I'm celibate until I meet someone with long-term potential, which is impossible, so forever. Too much bad mojo when things get out of hand with the wrong person. .
That's kind of what I'm feeling right now0 -
Thinking I might try this to clear my head. Any high sex drive people in here ever voluntarily go celibate for any significant amount of time (6 months-1yr)? And I mean voluntarily because you have a few options, not just some awkward FA, deployed, never tries or a person that is scared of rejection.
If so how did you not become angry and mean during that period?
Your thoughts gents and lasses?
You are 40...Well im 45 and its truly just a number..its hard to believe you have an issue with self esteem or even self worth...but if you TRULY want to do this, you need to do this for you...
Sex is nature....If you're used to it and its taken away. .even if by your own call...Your going to go through the emotions of Iose...that might sound stupid but look at all the comments....I'd go mad (anger) I failed (denial) I did_____ (acceptance).....
Think about WHY you want to be celibate....I dont know your stand on sex....
Are you love thy neighbor..and that neighbor and that neighbor. ....Or just feeling your getting to the point you want to be more selective in a partner. ..whether they are firvthe present or the future. .....
Dont worry about your age....4o is the new 3o...
The why? I have been very loose about who I slept with, as long as she was attractive I've went for it. My body has afforded me many extra opportunities to be with women for the short term. Now I'm tired of short term fb and realized that I can't find someone that I even remotely know that would actually take a chance and date me. I thought I would throw the celibacy idea out and get some feedback. I don't really have a lot of self-control unless I am committed to someone. I made this mess of my life with sex, it's bad enough I can't even get the friend part of a fwb. I was questioning if I messed everything up with sex, maybe no sex is the answer (temporarily at least). It's not something I want to do; I'm scared no one would even want me for a fb if I cut sex out, and I'm worried that I will never meet someone that I actually connect with on every level if I continue having empty meaningless sex
First off....You seem to think who YOU are revolves around sex....That's just part of the man. .You obviously are more or you wouldn't care....
If you were known as a use them and leave them kind of guy....Well the RIGHT one is going to be scared she's just a means to an end....
You need to work on self control...Do it for yourself. ..your self worth is shot in that department....shouldn't need to be attached to control yourself. ...
Maybe you need to think of why you do that...Im sure it feels great to be admired and so forth...I never had that problem so I cant relate...but I do know that I didn't like myself for a long time and I changed that....
Listen I dont know you but you reached out and I'm a great listener and I speak from the heart....
If you keep having empty meaningless sex...you aren't going to attract your forever....
Your right now. .absolutely but you seem to be getting tired of that menu......
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