We broke up because...
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Scripted everything I did in a day0
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She couldn't stop touching her hair...it became very difficult when we went swimming together1
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she ran her life as if she was reading from a script....no spontaneity0
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Her spontaneity was too reckless0
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she didn't support my extreme sports addiction0
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Her extreme sport addiction was too extreme for me...how do you manage to backflip while parasailing and down an entire bag of ranch Doritos at the same time? Seriously...0
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His rigid opinions were too heavy for me0
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She didn't like my points of view on impossible statements!0
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She was too pretty lol cant compete haha0
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She emptied our bank account and disappeared0
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She'd always LOL when throwing me a Compliment!
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She was an internet troll0
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I joked once about charging him a Toll now he's always calling me a Troll!
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she tried to hit me with a rolling pin for coming home a little late0
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He used my rolling pin as his *special* toy ..I couldn't bake again using it1
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She was always baked0
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she never baked....i WANT CAKE!0
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Loved cake more than me0
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The cake tasted better0
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caught him tasting Jo's cake with out me2
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He told me he had special "frosting."1
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her pizza toppings were various fairly intact animal parts0
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He was not a foodie0
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He never helped prepare the animal pizza toppings0
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there were two of them, they didnt understand that bad pizza is against my religion0
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Cause I wasn't religious0
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He liked plain cheese. Boring.....0
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plain cheese reminded me of her. it was a homage0
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He always licked my cats to clean them ..so he said0
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