We broke up because...
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She didn't like my impersonation of Donald trump0
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She was too good at it and the stupid looking hair was the last straw0
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She gave me that "your doing the dishes tonight" look and I was out of theeeeere0
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Tried my best w hair ...can't help she's so picky w impersonations0
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In woods really meant basement ...took foreplay too far0
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She decided girls weren't for her0
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Realized i uv girls ...0
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Tried to knife me for stealing a slice of cucumber during dinner prep0
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He used my beauty supplies for cooking0
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Wouldn't participate in drunk Pilates. Its a thing0
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She didn't even know I was down for drunk anything0
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I acted too quickly0
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Helped him hide the body. It was always a business relationship anyway0
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Business unfortunately consisted of smelling arm pits0
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She took advantage of me whilst I was rebounding0
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He couldn't get over his ex0
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She...she..ohhh its too awful..Im traumatised0
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Her original was in her closet tied up0
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She gave 'him' a nickname and all but ignored me.0
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She wouldn't sew something for me0
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Had obsession w thread0
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I never found out what her name meant!0
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