28; never been on a date or had a boyfriend because of weight

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  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    Cashiers are PAID to be friendly and smile. They have their preferences about who they want to date, including not ovefat women. Did he literally call you a pig, or are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Your emotionall unintelligence in calling him a hypocrite, accusing him of calling you a pig, are reasons not to date you. I've been pretty fat myself. Men were always interested.

    Yes, he called me a pig as an insult. I don't think he is a hypocrite though as I don't know him well enough to know what his principles are other than he seemed like a friendly and polite guy before he called me a pig. That's great that men are interested in you :)

    This thing about the guy calling you a pig: we don't know the whole story. But, according to what you wrote, this friendly dude just changed at some point and called you a pig.

    What interactions took place leading up to this?

    Think about it; pig can mean mean many things, such as someone who is not very nice to other people. It can also mean someone who behaves in a slovenly manner, or someone who has no manners. It doesn't always mean fat.

    From seeing your photographs, and your perceptions of yourself, it seems to me you would benefit from therapy.
  • GobletofFlames
    GobletofFlames Posts: 113 Member
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    AngelinaB_ wrote: »
    Are you trolling? In another post you say you weigh between 77-90 pounds. You are way too thin and nobody would call you a pig.

    Of course I'm not trolling. Maybe he meant pig as an insult, not as a reflection of my weight, or maybe he wanted me to weigh less. I'm really down today. I want a boyfriend to talk to about my day and to call me sweetheart. Is that too much to ask? I feel left out of society because other women much younger than me are married with kids and I was never given that choice. I bottle it in a lot but right now I'm angry and resentful towards life and men for not giving me a chance. They don't even know me so how can they reject me without getting to know me first? If they went on a date with me and found out I had an awful personality, OK fine, but they don't even give me a chance.

    You have to put yourself out there and be vulnerable, out of the 100 idiots you will meet, you will find your precious diamond. But you have to believe in yourself and remember, allow yourself to be vulnerable.

    Change your attitude for a day, and relax don't take it to seriously. Guys are not to take that seriously anyway, just enjoy going out. When you meet somebody special you can take him seriously and care, not before.

    I think you look very cute! Btw

    Thank you Angelina, that's very kind of you. Today I was feeling OK but then I ended up feeling like nothing in life gives me any pleasure. I do try hard to tell myself I can be happy without a man but life feels empty and meaningless. It's an ongoing battle where I try hard to think positively but my natural feeling is unhappy. I hope you are having a great weekend.
  • GobletofFlames
    GobletofFlames Posts: 113 Member
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    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Cashiers are PAID to be friendly and smile. They have their preferences about who they want to date, including not ovefat women. Did he literally call you a pig, or are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Your emotionall unintelligence in calling him a hypocrite, accusing him of calling you a pig, are reasons not to date you. I've been pretty fat myself. Men were always interested.

    Yes, he called me a pig as an insult. I don't think he is a hypocrite though as I don't know him well enough to know what his principles are other than he seemed like a friendly and polite guy before he called me a pig. That's great that men are interested in you :)

    This thing about the guy calling you a pig: we don't know the whole story. But, according to what you wrote, this friendly dude just changed at some point and called you a pig.

    What interactions took place leading up to this?

    Think about it; pig can mean mean many things, such as someone who is not very nice to other people. It can also mean someone who behaves in a slovenly manner, or someone who has no manners. It doesn't always mean fat.

    From seeing your photographs, and your perceptions of yourself, it seems to me you would benefit from therapy.

    Yes, you're right, I think it's fairly unlikely that the cashier meant I was a pig in terms of weight if I think about it logically. Because although I have gained weight, I am still under 100 lb and it's not often that I see someone as thin as me.

    The interactions that took place were that I used to buy a drink every morning from the store and the cashier would ring me up. After about a month of this, I felt that he was very friendly and probably a nice guy, so I asked him if he was interested in having a coffee with me sometime and that's when he said I was a pig. Now I do not dare to go back into that store.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    I'm 28 and have never been on a date or had a boyfriend because of my weight. I always remained optimistic that someday a man would accept me for who I am, but that hasn't happened and if I want to have children, I can't wait too much longer. So here I am...my goal is to not gain weight or even to lose weight, maybe 10 lb for now.

    I thought you were single because people didn't accept you, not your weight? You never mentioned your weight in the other thread?
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
    edited July 2016
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    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Cashiers are PAID to be friendly and smile. They have their preferences about who they want to date, including not ovefat women. Did he literally call you a pig, or are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Your emotionall unintelligence in calling him a hypocrite, accusing him of calling you a pig, are reasons not to date you. I've been pretty fat myself. Men were always interested.

    Yes, he called me a pig as an insult. I don't think he is a hypocrite though as I don't know him well enough to know what his principles are other than he seemed like a friendly and polite guy before he called me a pig. That's great that men are interested in you :)

    This thing about the guy calling you a pig: we don't know the whole story. But, according to what you wrote, this friendly dude just changed at some point and called you a pig.

    What interactions took place leading up to this?

    Think about it; pig can mean mean many things, such as someone who is not very nice to other people. It can also mean someone who behaves in a slovenly manner, or someone who has no manners. It doesn't always mean fat.

    From seeing your photographs, and your perceptions of yourself, it seems to me you would benefit from therapy.

    Yes, you're right, I think it's fairly unlikely that the cashier meant I was a pig in terms of weight if I think about it logically. Because although I have gained weight, I am still under 100 lb and it's not often that I see someone as thin as me.

    The interactions that took place were that I used to buy a drink every morning from the store and the cashier would ring me up. After about a month of this, I felt that he was very friendly and probably a nice guy, so I asked him if he was interested in having a coffee with me sometime and that's when he said I was a pig. Now I do not dare to go back into that store.

    Well, if that's how things came down, good thing you never went out with him, since he goes around calling people pigs for asking him to coffee. Someone like that is not worth even having a conversation with, much less coffee. Why are you even wasting emotional and spiritual energy on this?

    Also, the more I read your postings, the more I am convinced you have a full blown eating disorder. You have started a conversation about being fat, yet it's evident here that you know you are too thin. It's time to get help. It really is because it's the only way you will learn how to deal with your issues and learn to love yourself for who you are. When self esteem is as low as yours, you project that out to other people and it scares them away.
  • AngelinaB_
    AngelinaB_ Posts: 563 Member
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    I agree with the above posters sweets, you need to find professional help not random people on the internet. You have a negative and distorted vision of yourself and blame yourself for other people being total *kitten*. Plus looks you might have a little depression. All those things need to be taken care from a professional and are important health concerns.

    Good for you, you don't buy coffee in that store anymore. It's not worth it of your business. That person is not only a pig himself but in my opinion is very abusive to talk to other that way and shouldn't be working taking care of costumers.
  • OlyCapitalChick
    OlyCapitalChick Posts: 236 Member
    edited July 2016
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    @GobletofFlames you sound transgender to me for some reason? If that photo really of you? ..You are not overweight.
    The OP have good points.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    @GobletofFlames you sound transgender to me for some reason? If that photo really of you? ..You are not overweight.
    The OP have good points.

    How does someone sound transgender on a message board? Just curious as to what gave this idea.
  • OlyCapitalChick
    OlyCapitalChick Posts: 236 Member
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    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    @GobletofFlames you sound transgender to me for some reason? If that photo really of you? ..You are not overweight.
    The OP have good points.

    How does someone sound transgender on a message board? Just curious as to what gave this idea.

    threads that aren't here.
    Not sure. Could be something else.
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
    edited October 2016
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    A lot of these posts are confusing. Anyways, I do not PERSONALLY think I am fat, but I think guys think I'm fat, that's the only explanation I can think of as to why guys don't like me~

    Um. No. No one in their right mind would think that you are fat. You're fat, far, far from fat. You're very very thin, and you are pretty. Stop it. I think that is all in your head. No one called you fat.

    The faster you stop giving a crap about what others think, the better you'll feel.

    Give YOURSELF a break. Stop torturing yourself. Be free. Don't worry about weight or anything like that. Concentrate on loving YOU and those close to you.