I have an (almost) obese brother & need advice!
Replies
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No because when I gave him something he didn't like, he straight up told me and refused to eat it. He doesn't eat what he doesn't like. He's spoiled and not the type of person who sucks it up. And yes, he does sneak around food but that doesn't mean he doesn't like what I give him. I don't know about you, but I can eat snacks all day long without even being hungry. I could eat some ice cream or chocolate at ANY time of day. It's the same with him. No I'm not trying to create a specialized diet, I'm just giving him the same stuff he likes but a healthier version.janejellyroll wrote: »
Yeah, for you. My brother is EXTREMELY picky with food. And he said he likes what I give him. Genuinely likes it. Likes it more than his old food. He LIKES plain food. Before, he only ate plain food. He still eats pasta and all the things he likes, just not fried in oil anymore.janejellyroll wrote: »sunfastrose wrote: »First things first, I know that nobody on here is going to give dieting advice for a 11 year old kid. I'm not looking for dieting advice, but just help with what I can do to get through to my family.
This is long, but here's just some background:
My brother is 11 years old, 4'10 and 140 pounds. His BMI right now is 29.2 (so at the very top of the overweight category) and only 5 pounds away from obesity. Since I've been losing weight, my entire family has been putting it on me to get him to lose weight. I don't want to put a little kid on a low calorie diet exactly, so I've just been giving him meals such as...
Breakfast: Apple, egg whites (he doesn't like the yolk)
Snack: 100 cal pack of popcorn
Lunch: Grilled chicken breast 5oz, vegetables, and a serving of whole wheat pasta
Snack: Banana/granola bar
Dinner: Salmon, brown rice and vegetables
And maybe another "healthy" snack.
This sample menu screams "diet" and "deprivation" - which is hard enough on a grown adult, much less on a kid. 11 year old is still growing, so he probably shouldn't be cutting calories as sharply as an adult. In addition, emphasis should be more on learning portion sizes and the concept of "always/sometimes/rarely" foods. With that said - I agree with an earlier poster that this is something that should be handled more by your parents, and possibly professionals (doctor/pediatrician and possibly a dietician).
Yeah, I'm a highly motivated adult and this menu would have be feeling sad and deprived. It's a big leap for a growing child who is used to things like pasta and fried chicken.
He tells you that he likes it. You've also said that he's sneaking foods and lying to you about it. I'm going to put it out there that what he says may not completely represent what he is thinking. It may be the truth, it may not. He may feel pressure to say that because he knows what you expect of him.
If he's sneaking food, then something is obviously going on. Do you know how much fat a boy his age needs? Is he getting that? Is he getting enough calories? Have you run the macros for his meals? You're a lay person trying to create a specialized diet plan for a young boy.
I know you love him and you want the best for him. But as much as your parents are being neglectful of him, they are also being neglectful of *you* by placing these unrealistic expectations on you.
Set appropriate boundaries for your parents. This doesn't mean you can't be there for your brother. It actually means you will be more able to focus on your relationship with him and you'll be the type of person he will come to over the years.
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Go chase him out the house with the broom.
If you have all this responsibility placed on you to take care of him, you need to be given some authority. (I personally don't agree with the position your parents are putting you in, but it is what it is).
Hide his phone and controller, or turn off the power and take him outside. Poke him until he chases after you. Idk. Your parents sound *kitten*, sorry.5 -
The goal for children is not to lose weight but to maintain their weight and grow taller. It's a whole different world thatn adults.
The BMI is not for children so his BMI is inaccurate.
I'd suggest a visit to the dietican-and you go with your mom. A good dietican will use foods your brother likes in the food plan.
And take him out walking and biking and swimming. Make some exeercise a goal every day.7 -
Since he is so Young and he is the responsibility of your parent, maybe you could try to get them to see a nutritionist. Not to get a plan, but to understand how it works and how it affacts his/theirs lives. That would be a start and then maybe they would be more sensible to what he is eating. I think it's hard to expect from a child to get healty when his parents at home are doing the opposite.2
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I disagree with the people saying it isn't your business - he's your brother, and your parents have asked you for help, so of course you're involved.
But I think setting meal plans isn't going to work at all in the long run if your parents are still clueless about nutrition. While you're with them over the summer can you encourage the whole family to get more active, take regular bike rides and hikes and go swimming together? I would also take the opportunity to cook together as practical experience might help your mother learn about nutrition better than just explaining it can.11 -
I did that already and it gets through to them for a day and then they get over it. I said this billions of times already and I understand how it seems restrictive but my brother has a strange sense of taste. He ate microwaveable popcorn before, but instead of a whole bag I give him the smaller 100 cal bags. He ate pasta and fried chicken before so now he gets 1 serving instead of 4 and grilled instead of fried chicken. Everything he eats consists of things he had before and that he likes.kristysaurus wrote: »Are you able to sit down as a family a learn about nutrition, nutrients, portion sizes etc.? Include him in the conversation about what healthy foods are, what portions look like and work with him to decide the meals and snacks that he wants (not food that you like or think he should eat. Ask him what he would like to see on the menu). The plan you posted is pretty (okay, very) restrictive for a young person, especially one who eats a lot of junk food and snacks. You are asking him to to a complete turn around in his eating which is not easy. The meal plan should include things he likes but in smaller portions. For example, If he likes cookies, maybe a snack option is 1 cookie and a glass of milk.
You could create a list of simple breakfasts, lunches, dinners and snacks that are all healthy and food he likes/will eat. You, your family and your brother will then have many options to choose from and it will serve as a visible reminder. Post this list on the fridge for your family so they can see it. You could even precook many of these dishes so that he has things readily available if you aren't around.
But in the end, if your mom is not willing to stick to it the only thing you can do is support him, help him move more (offer to go for walks or toss a ball around at the park, take him to swim class, etc) and help him make as many good choices as you can. If you can help him even a little bit, it can start to have a big impact on his health and he can continue to make positive changes as he gets older.
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No because when I gave him something he didn't like, he straight up told me and refused to eat it. He doesn't eat what he doesn't like. He's spoiled and not the type of person who sucks it up. And yes, he does sneak around food but that doesn't mean he doesn't like what I give him. I don't know about you, but I can eat snacks all day long without even being hungry. I could eat some ice cream or chocolate at ANY time of day. It's the same with him. No I'm not trying to create a specialized diet, I'm just giving him the same stuff he likes but a healthier version.janejellyroll wrote: »
Yeah, for you. My brother is EXTREMELY picky with food. And he said he likes what I give him. Genuinely likes it. Likes it more than his old food. He LIKES plain food. Before, he only ate plain food. He still eats pasta and all the things he likes, just not fried in oil anymore.janejellyroll wrote: »sunfastrose wrote: »First things first, I know that nobody on here is going to give dieting advice for a 11 year old kid. I'm not looking for dieting advice, but just help with what I can do to get through to my family.
This is long, but here's just some background:
My brother is 11 years old, 4'10 and 140 pounds. His BMI right now is 29.2 (so at the very top of the overweight category) and only 5 pounds away from obesity. Since I've been losing weight, my entire family has been putting it on me to get him to lose weight. I don't want to put a little kid on a low calorie diet exactly, so I've just been giving him meals such as...
Breakfast: Apple, egg whites (he doesn't like the yolk)
Snack: 100 cal pack of popcorn
Lunch: Grilled chicken breast 5oz, vegetables, and a serving of whole wheat pasta
Snack: Banana/granola bar
Dinner: Salmon, brown rice and vegetables
And maybe another "healthy" snack.
This sample menu screams "diet" and "deprivation" - which is hard enough on a grown adult, much less on a kid. 11 year old is still growing, so he probably shouldn't be cutting calories as sharply as an adult. In addition, emphasis should be more on learning portion sizes and the concept of "always/sometimes/rarely" foods. With that said - I agree with an earlier poster that this is something that should be handled more by your parents, and possibly professionals (doctor/pediatrician and possibly a dietician).
Yeah, I'm a highly motivated adult and this menu would have be feeling sad and deprived. It's a big leap for a growing child who is used to things like pasta and fried chicken.
He tells you that he likes it. You've also said that he's sneaking foods and lying to you about it. I'm going to put it out there that what he says may not completely represent what he is thinking. It may be the truth, it may not. He may feel pressure to say that because he knows what you expect of him.
If he's sneaking food, then something is obviously going on. Do you know how much fat a boy his age needs? Is he getting that? Is he getting enough calories? Have you run the macros for his meals? You're a lay person trying to create a specialized diet plan for a young boy.
I know you love him and you want the best for him. But as much as your parents are being neglectful of him, they are also being neglectful of *you* by placing these unrealistic expectations on you.
Set appropriate boundaries for your parents. This doesn't mean you can't be there for your brother. It actually means you will be more able to focus on your relationship with him and you'll be the type of person he will come to over the years.
A weight loss diet for a growing child *is* a specialized diet. If the child is picky and already prone to emotional eating, even more so.
It's relatively normal to like to snack on tasty food all day. But he's already learning to hide his food consumption and lie about it. These are issues that could impact the rest of his life, so please think about exercising caution and not inadvertently making the situation worse.3 -
A lot of you are giving great advice (except the people saying it's my parents business and that his "diet" is too restrictive. I understand that but you guys need to understand my family is different from yours. My family is lazy and doesn't want to get involved with his health. And my brother isn't on a restrictive diet, because he honestly likes what he eats. You're just going to have to trust me on that one).
I don't really know what I was looking for. I've tried everything you guys have said and I know there's not much else to do, so thank you for the help. I'll schedule an appointment with the doctor and tell them straight up what my brother wouldn't eat if they try to give him a meal plan with things he doesn't like.6 -
I actually disagree with most of the posters. I think it's admirable you're trying to help him now before things get too out of hand. As a younger sister to older sisters who were AWFUL about being slightly overweight, they really only made the problem worse. They didn't teach me anything about how to eat better (I was already an active sports playing kid at least) and only made me feel bad about myself and then I ballooned in weight.
But it sounds like you're very supportive and positive and trying to teach him good nutrition. I'm a little surprised people think that menu is total deprivation. It sounds reasonable and tasty to me. And if he's saying he likes it, all the better. I don't know many 11 year olds that would lie to a sister about that. People can like all kinds of food. I love junk food. Obviously since I'm overweight. But I also LOVE a nice dinner of salmon or chicken breast and some broccoli and a little rice or pasta or something. I constantly admonish myself for not cooking it for myself more often because I do truly enjoy it just as much as pizza and burgers. Maybe even more so.
It's only been a week so I wouldn't give up hope yet. It'll take time to get the whole family into a new routine.
If you feel like he's sneaking snacks maybe talk to him about foods he'd like to incorporate into his diet and talk to him about eating when hungry. I love what an other poster said about always/sometimes/rarely foods. I've never heard of it put like that. That seems so brilliant to me.
I definitely think it's good you're not focusing on calories and counting, only encouraging nutritious food. Because that's what it's ultimately about right? And keep in mind he is pre-pubescent and only 4'10. He's got a lot of growing to do and he could very quickly become 5'7+ and 160 pounds in a matter of months. But instilling healthy food habits is good.
And if you have time be active with him in a way that doesn't feel like exercise. Sometimes as a kid I didn't always want to play alone, sometimes I did. But it was nice when my dad would come out and play baseball with me or go swimming with me. I think instilling the idea of being active is more important than the idea of "exercising." Exercise is a modern invention for living a sedentary school or office life.
I would do some more research online on reputable sites that can guide you on prepubescent nutrition and how to instill good habits.
You sound like a good role model for the whole family and I think that's great.13 -
Just saying for what it's worth . . . keep feeding him granola bars, pasta, and brown rice, and he will continue to gain weight. "Portion control" is a myth. Weight is controlled by hormones, not directly by calories or portion size. These are old wives' tales that has been proven wrong-headed over the last 15 years.
Since he is already near "obesity," he has an insulin resistance problem, probably caused by too much refined sugar and too much grain (and especially whole grains, which spike blood sugars more than table sugar.) Calories matter, but do not matter nearly as much as cutting down (or better, out) sugars and grains, since the body reacts differently to fat, carb, and protein calories. Your heart is in the right place, but low calorie meals than contain more than 50 grams of carbs a day will not only cause him to gain weight, but will also make him miserable, grumpy, and low energy (his body will fight your best efforts to let go of weight, and eventually he will gain it all back, plus more, and then his body will "set" his "normal weight" higher.
Research experts and recent research findings:
Dr. Jason Fung, Obesity Code
Dr. William Davis, Wheat Belly Total Health
Dr. David Perlmutter, Grain Maker and Grain Brain.
You can also go to Dr. Davis' Facebook page ~https://www.facebook.com/OfficialWheatBelly/~ to see hundreds of stories about this. No, I am not associated with his organization, except as an obese WB follower for the last 19 months. I've lost 40 lbs and regained my health at 68. You can post a question there about low carb high fat eating for children. Your brother may not like giving up pizza, spaghetti-Os, ice cream, and chips, but it is those very things -- whatever the portion size -- that is making America obese, and have been since the USDA published its Food Pyramid ("6-11 servings of grains per day, low fat") in the late 1970s.
That aside, your parents have put you in a very difficult position. As I said, your heart is in the right place, and that is to help your brother.0 -
A lot of you are giving great advice (except the people saying it's my parents business and that his "diet" is too restrictive. I understand that but you guys need to understand my family is different from yours. My family is lazy and doesn't want to get involved with his health. And my brother isn't on a restrictive diet, because he honestly likes what he eats. You're just going to have to trust me on that one).
I don't really know what I was looking for. I've tried everything you guys have said and I know there's not much else to do, so thank you for the help. I'll schedule an appointment with the doctor and tell them straight up what my brother wouldn't eat if they try to give him a meal plan with things he doesn't like.
The people who are giving you advice you don't like understand what you're saying. I understand what you think about your parents and I understand that you don't think the meal plan you have created for your brother is restrictive.
Someone can understand what you're saying and still have opinions that differ from yours.3 -
A lot of you are giving great advice (except the people saying it's my parents business and that his "diet" is too restrictive. I understand that but you guys need to understand my family is different from yours. My family is lazy and doesn't want to get involved with his health. And my brother isn't on a restrictive diet, because he honestly likes what he eats. You're just going to have to trust me on that one).
I don't really know what I was looking for. I've tried everything you guys have said and I know there's not much else to do, so thank you for the help. I'll schedule an appointment with the doctor and tell them straight up what my brother wouldn't eat if they try to give him a meal plan with things he doesn't like.
If he is hiding food and lying about food he eats, there is already a serious issue that can cause life long emotional issues.
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If you live near a theme park, buy a summer pass for you two. He might hate exercise, but love the idea of the water park or rides or whatever. That's a TON of walking and a TON of fun. He might be up to it if you don't tell him it's exercise.6
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I know, I'm fine with him not losing any and maintaining, but I just know that letting him continue to eat like he has been will only make him get bigger. As he grows up, the food will increase too. I didn't know that BMI wasn't accurate for him. Either way, 140 pounds at 4'10 and 11 years old is overweight whether you look at BMI or not. I agree that we should go to a dietician, especially with my mom. Maybe she needs to hear it from a doctor (even though she already did last time he had a check up. They told him he's overweight and really needs to lose weight. This was a year ago and he's gained around 10-20 pounds since then).The goal for children is not to lose weight but to maintain their weight and grow taller. It's a whole different world thatn adults.
The BMI is not for children so his BMI is inaccurate.
I'd suggest a visit to the dietican-and you go with your mom. A good dietican will use foods your brother likes in the food plan.
And take him out walking and biking and swimming. Make some exeercise a goal every day.
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First, if your parents want your help they need to change what they do too. Advise them to talk to your brother's doctor and get professional help for the family.
Show your brother and your parents how he can eat what they normally have just smaller portions of higher calorie items and more of lower calorie items he enjoys. Show them what portion sizes should be for common foods they eat.
Don't quiz him about what he ate all the time, call foods unhealthy or comment that he obviously liked your food better than his parent's cooking. That puts him in a bad place of wanting to please everyone, frustration, resentment and hiding what he eats.
Teach your brother to cook. It is a great life skill as well as encouraging being more thoughtful about choices.
Help your brother to find a more physical activity he likes to do. There are active video games, sports, walking, hiking, bike riding, swimming, geocaching, gardening, building/woodworking, cleaning up parks or roadsides.
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I think I made it sound worse than it is. He's not exactly purposely lying or hiding, he's just underestimating what he eats. But I agree that it's an issue but it's honestly due to the fact that he KNOWS he's overweight. The doctor told him. My grandparents tell him. He sees it when he compares himself to other kids his age. That's where the emotional issues are coming from.A lot of you are giving great advice (except the people saying it's my parents business and that his "diet" is too restrictive. I understand that but you guys need to understand my family is different from yours. My family is lazy and doesn't want to get involved with his health. And my brother isn't on a restrictive diet, because he honestly likes what he eats. You're just going to have to trust me on that one).
I don't really know what I was looking for. I've tried everything you guys have said and I know there's not much else to do, so thank you for the help. I'll schedule an appointment with the doctor and tell them straight up what my brother wouldn't eat if they try to give him a meal plan with things he doesn't like.
If he is hiding food and lying about food he eats, there is already a serious issue that can cause life long emotional issues.
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A lot of you are giving great advice (except the people saying it's my parents business and that his "diet" is too restrictive. I understand that but you guys need to understand my family is different from yours. My family is lazy and doesn't want to get involved with his health. And my brother isn't on a restrictive diet, because he honestly likes what he eats. You're just going to have to trust me on that one).
I don't really know what I was looking for. I've tried everything you guys have said and I know there's not much else to do, so thank you for the help. I'll schedule an appointment with the doctor and tell them straight up what my brother wouldn't eat if they try to give him a meal plan with things he doesn't like.
Your brother may like what he's eating.....but he sometimes doesn't finish meals. He sneaks snacks & lies to you about it. These are warning flags.
Does your meal plan EVER include a piece of candy? Does your meal plan EVER include a chip? Does your meal plan EVER include fast food?
Learning portion control for HIS favorite foods will give him tools to keep the weight off. Your radical menu is temporary. He may lose a few pounds, but will quickly gain them back when you go back to school.8 -
Have you asked him why he's snacking, what he's feeling right before he does it, then feeling while he does it? It could be a stress/emotional reaction and would be great if you could identify other options for stress relievers besides eating food, maybe even cooking together (for your parents) may show him how to have a relationship with food that's healthy and positive. If he's lying about it then there is some guilt.
I'm not sure what your journey has been, but it may be good to talk about the emotions, how you deal with them, how hard it is for everyone, etc. Target has a fitness journal that is great, it has sections to fill out daily goals, notes, what you like about yourself, it's a good way to keep awareness.2 -
You're story keeps changing. First he is hiding food, now it is just he under estimates...
I get that you want to come off as this amazing person and likely looking for praise for your efforts. However, you are coming across as a know it all who can do no wrong when it comes to your brother. Sorry for the harsh reality, but you may be doing serious emotional and physical damage to him. You NEED to understand that.3 -
Do you think he could grasp the idea of using MyFitnessPal? Maybe you could keep in touch that way.1
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JosetteandBill wrote: »Do you think he could grasp the idea of using MyFitnessPal? Maybe you could keep in touch that way.
MFP is only for people 18 and older.2 -
My brother is scared of rides lol, and I don't really have one close. He's so hard to please. I do try to do fun things with him as much as I can but I'm a college student and I have responsibilities and I feel like I'm burning myself out having to focus on not only myself but another person too. My parents aren't helping much so it's all on meBlendaBrenda wrote: »If you live near a theme park, buy a summer pass for you two. He might hate exercise, but love the idea of the water park or rides or whatever. That's a TON of walking and a TON of fun. He might be up to it if you don't tell him it's exercise.
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I think a lot of people probably said what I'm about to, but I think first kudos for caring for him and wanting the best for him! A lot of people jumped on you for "not being his parent, back off, etc" but I can see you're coming from a place where your parents aren't interested or involved and you want the best for your little brother. No harm in being a good role model!
I think keep it as simple as possible. Encourage him to get outside and involved in sports and playing. Go for bike rides with him, go hiking, try geocaching (treasure hunting- kids love it!), if he likes skateboarding or bmxing, take him out to skateparks, etc.
Don't push the meal plans but instead offer healthy snacks. Put out a veggie tray after school, make fun stuff with fruits and veggies, etc.
Also, he's at a great age to be cooking so if he's interested and willing, get him to pick a meal he wants to cook (maybe like Thursday night is his dinner-cooking night) and help him out of course if he needs it. Encouraging a healthy relationship with food is totally something that will make a more lasting impact than restricting foods.
If he likes crackers, great- teach him a bit about portion sizes but not in a restrictive way. Encourage him to enjoy his snacking and put crackers on a plate and cut up some cheese and making it more of a presentation. Simple things about enjoying food (like a scoop of ice cream in a bowl, instead of out of a carton) will teach about portion control in a different way - so that it's not about measuring and weighing food, or about not being allowed something.1 -
you are a WONDERFUL sister to care so much about your brother. I don't need to repeat what others have said regarding his parents should be taking care of what he eats. i say just model healthy behaviors.2
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JosetteandBill wrote: »Do you think he could grasp the idea of using MyFitnessPal? Maybe you could keep in touch that way.
He's a growing child. My Fitness Pal is designed for adults. He can't plug his stats in here and get valid numbers.
Sparkteens would better address his caloric needs.7 -
I did. Read the comments. I agree there would be a lot wrong with making him eat things he doesn't like, and things like that. But what's wrong with giving a child the things he likes in healthier versions (i.e. baked instead of fried, smaller portions) because essentially that's all I'm doing.first and foremost, he's 11 years old. he's not done growing. putting him on ANY kind of a diet is wrong. if you want to help, just model healthy behaviors (eating good food in appropriate portions). he doesn't need to be counting calories. get him to be more active, eat healthier foods along with the junk he wants. help him to understand the relationship between calories in vs calories out, but NOT DIETING!!!!!!!!!!
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BlendaBrenda wrote: »If you live near a theme park, buy a summer pass for you two. He might hate exercise, but love the idea of the water park or rides or whatever. That's a TON of walking and a TON of fun. He might be up to it if you don't tell him it's exercise.
Agree with this person, I haven't gone through the whole thread but getting him into some kind of activity would be ideal. Soccer, basketball, football... anything really.
He's a kid so he only eats what is in the house, your parents need to get on board with that otherwise there is nothing you can do. Parents stop buying *kitten* and then there is no *kitten*... start making quality dinners quit bitching that there is no time in the day, there is tons of time people are just *kitten* lazy.
If he's buying *kitten* food with his allowance you take away the allowance then... so many things you can do ... ideally you want to take him to the gym, have the kid fall in love with the gym and find a passion for bodybuilding and then when he's 18 he will be like omg thank you for taking me when I was a kid.
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Thank you! All good pointsfitdaisygrrl wrote: »I think a lot of people probably said what I'm about to, but I think first kudos for caring for him and wanting the best for him! A lot of people jumped on you for "not being his parent, back off, etc" but I can see you're coming from a place where your parents aren't interested or involved and you want the best for your little brother. No harm in being a good role model!
I think keep it as simple as possible. Encourage him to get outside and involved in sports and playing. Go for bike rides with him, go hiking, try geocaching (treasure hunting- kids love it!), if he likes skateboarding or bmxing, take him out to skateparks, etc.
Don't push the meal plans but instead offer healthy snacks. Put out a veggie tray after school, make fun stuff with fruits and veggies, etc.
Also, he's at a great age to be cooking so if he's interested and willing, get him to pick a meal he wants to cook (maybe like Thursday night is his dinner-cooking night) and help him out of course if he needs it. Encouraging a healthy relationship with food is totally something that will make a more lasting impact than restricting foods.
If he likes crackers, great- teach him a bit about portion sizes but not in a restrictive way. Encourage him to enjoy his snacking and put crackers on a plate and cut up some cheese and making it more of a presentation. Simple things about enjoying food (like a scoop of ice cream in a bowl, instead of out of a carton) will teach about portion control in a different way - so that it's not about measuring and weighing food, or about not being allowed something.
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...I'm his sister, and his parents put it on me to control what he eats. My mom knows she has no knowledge about nutrition because the only way she ever lose weight was by going on diets such as drinking only milk on Tuesdays (no food) and only vegetables on Wednesdays....
And you're telling me giving him healthy food is doing more harm than letting him eat fried food and chips all day long? I'm not limiting his calories. I let him eat as much food as he needs to feel full. My mom refuses to take him to a health specialist.
If i was in your situation, i would be telling my mom H*** no i am not a dietician, therefore i am NOT going to control what MY brother eats. give him your cell # and/or email so that he can contact you whenever he wants to talk or ask ?s. that's as far as i would help him. if your parents won't change, then you should model good, healthy behaviors with him.2 -
Hi - I'm not sure if it's been suggested yet, but at 11 years old, I was able to cook several dishes myself. If your brother has approached and spoken to you about his own desire to lose weight, it might be beneficial to actually teach him to cook some of the healthy items he likes, that he has been willing to eat. This way - if Mom wakes up and would default to microwaving him a corndog, he has the skills to empower himself to go for the egg whites or to cut up fresh fruit. It's one thing for folks to suggest he "learn portion size" or "make good decisions", but as is often the case, if he's not the one preparing the meals, he's at the mercy of whoever is.
Also - helping him to understand it's not all or nothing - if Mom microwaves him a corndog for breakfast, what can he choose as a healthy snack or lunch for himself later that day, that will help him stay in balance?
Just a few thoughts, good luck to you!3
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