married chit-chatters?

lulufit5 wrote: »

meredithgir199 wrote: »

amcalmond768 wrote: »

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

I was looking up the internet for baby names at wife's request and there's an article that says women are actually giving khaleesi as a name. I mean how bizarre is that. I feel sorry for those girls.

My husband and I had such a hard time agreeing on the names of our girls... I feel like since I was doing most of the work I should get the final say lmao but we were able to come to an agreement both times!

Picking names is tough. We both went through a baby name book individually and made a list. Then compared to see which ones we had that were common. Surprisingly, only one similarity, which is what we named our daughter.

For our last two babies we had an idea of the names we wanted but we waited until the baby was born and we actually held them and saw them. Which turned out leading to different names than we had planned. Because honestly...the names just came to us.

I love that you did that with your children. I also admire the tradition of American Indian families who are said to have named their children one name upon birth and later when they were in their mid-teens they would be given their adult name once their mature traits and nature was obvious. Thanks for sharing!

cross2bear wrote: »

Lonestar5715 wrote: »

cross2bear wrote: »

Married for 37 years. To the same person. Wont ever divorce - too much paperwork and we are both pretty lazy. And frugal (he's cheap!) But its worked out so far - so what the hell - in for another year.

I am curious @cross2bear do you mind sharing what the most challenging time has been for you in your marriage so far? And please don't say the first 37 years

The most challenging time, without being my usual sarcastic smart mouth self, was when the kids were small. We had completely different upbringings, and different baggage as a result, so we often clashed about how restrictive or permissive we were going to be with them. My husband is a very traditional "me man, you woman" kind of guy, so I would often have to point out to him that he was being a sexist jerk with our daughter by treating her differently than our son. Fortunately, we both had pretty successful careers, so we are able to bequeath quite a healthy inheritance to the kids for their therapists.

Thanks for responding @cross2bear. Congrats on not only that many years together but also on navigating the turbulence of raising young children. You're totally right about the differing baggage each spouse brings with them into a marriage and how that cascades into the relationship. I applaud you!

What is in a name? My wife and I decided to not know what was coming in advance of what became our daughter's birth so we picked a somewhat "ambidextrous" name...(No not Pat, Kim, Jan, etc.) and we wanted it to be unique and un-rhyme-able so kids would have to find a different way to make fun of her if that's the way it was going to go down. also something with historical context. I think we succeeded the second name was easier... My grandmother's first... and as we were wheeling into the delivery room... the kid got a second middle name...

How tough was it to come up with that first name? IN the province we live in she was the ONLY kid boy or girl to be Named Dante that year...in the following years there were more than just a few. but she was and is quite a unique young lady.

I have an unusual name. And the spelling is different from the pronunciation. It can be pronounced in two different ways. Mine is pronounced in the lesser expected way. But, that's my name. Would have been easier if my mother had just dropped one double letter from my name. So, for my girls I tried to choose pretty names that are unique, but not incredibly unique either. I spelled them in the way that made sense phonetically or could not be confused with a different word. Where I lived had a very large Spanish speaking population, and my first daughters name sounds the same as a benign Spanish word. We moved since then. My youngest daughters name was unique, but has become more common these days. Both are pretty, feminine names. I gave them flowers for middle names. Did have trouble deciding on a name, so went with one we could agree on.

^^ I agree with this. My son is 20. I would not want to start over again! I have friends my age that still have young children & just hanging out with them for awhile wears me out!

Yep. Married 17.... Wait, I gotta check....Yep, 17 years.

Together for 15 years and married for 9 years

I once had a pet snapping turtle, @Redbeard333 . I worked then for a small-town newspaper, and I kept him (her?) in an aquarium in the office. The name was Rigger Mortiss. Well, he was a real ugly baby. If I had it to do again, I would not have kept it: it was intended to be wild.

I haven't had any indoor pets for years now. I think about it occasionally, but I'm hesitant. The feral cats that come here for food and water fill the gap. We've been able to take @ 12 in to be spayed & neutered and have three kittens and one momma to go.

Together for 4 years, married almost 3 years in November. No kids as we're still deciding if we should have them while my hubby's still in the Navy or wait til he retires, or even at all- I honestly don't like children, but that's mostly just other people's kids. Opinion might change if we have our own, but everyone we know from high school are already having/had kids and we're just over here playing Pokémon GO at 11PM, hahaha.

terakrantz wrote: »

Married here. 9 whole months. Always looking for sarcastic, witty, bearded friends though. Men or women, of course.

I don't have a beard though

Nightshift at work... husband not answering text messages, probably sleeping lol .... who is awake and bored? lol

My dad instilled in me and my sister the "equal/equal" mantra. For example, when I last drove down to his place in Kentucky, my truck's alternator died. He paid for a new one, 3 drive belts, and installation at his friend's garage. That day, he sent my sister a check for the same amount.

**vent** My philosophy for my marriage (though my wife doesn't subscribe to it) is the same. I leave the house at 5:45am and get home ~7pm, and some days the only break I have is 20 minutes for lunch. Every opportunity that is presented to me to make some extra money at work I take (covering classes on my prep, teaching afternoon classes, being a club advisor). Ideally, my wife would take care of the house, but, oftentimes, it's in the same or worse condition when I get home. With my OCD, I *know* the house would be cleaned and vacuumed if the work situations were reversed. **end vent**

#clapping Good board, good post, so true.

Lonestar5715 wrote: »

Redbeard333 wrote: »

My dad instilled in me and my sister the "equal/equal" mantra. For example, when I last drove down to his place in Kentucky, my truck's alternator died. He paid for a new one, 3 drive belts, and installation at his friend's garage. That day, he sent my sister a check for the same amount.

**vent** My philosophy for my marriage (though my wife doesn't subscribe to it) is the same. I leave the house at 5:45am and get home ~7pm, and some days the only break I have is 20 minutes for lunch. Every opportunity that is presented to me to make some extra money at work I take (covering classes on my prep, teaching afternoon classes, being a club advisor). Ideally, my wife would take care of the house, but, oftentimes, it's in the same or worse condition when I get home. With my OCD, I *know* the house would be cleaned and vacuumed if the work situations were reversed. **end vent**

@Redbeard333 I find the way your father practices the "equal/equal" philosophy very interesting and the first I have ever heard of a parent compensating a child monetarily because of help he gave another child. Thanks for sharing that. I am curious how you would feel if he were to not do that?

Yes, that is very interesting. I've never heard of that either. My parents helped one of my brothers a lot more than the other three of us because he always needed helping. They paid his bills to keep his lights/heat on, bought him food so his kids wouldn't starve, gave him a down payment for a house, etc. My oldest brother is very resentful of that brother and would have appreciated something closer to 50/50. I feel like it would have been nicer if my brother had taken better care of his own family and left my parents to spend their money on themselves or their retirement (they are not wealthy).

My husband is a clean freak who can't stand clutter. He cleans more than most men. He asked me gently to make the bed in the morning shortly after we got married (20 years ago), something I never cared about. Now I do it automatically if I'm the last one up. The only exception is he hates cleaning bathrooms. He'd happily spend 2 hours dusting and vacuuming and I'd rather spend 50 mins cleaning the bathrooms.

When I worked less, I did most of the cooking and cleaning. Once I had to work more (12-14 hours a day like you), he had to start picking up my slack. The cooking required a great deal of communication at first as I had to help him learn. Now, he's a better cook than me and often doesn't want me in "his" kitchen lol.

If a mess doesn't bother your wife, it is probably hard for her to make it a priority. If you have weekends free, maybe you could spend a couple hours cleaning house together, listing off the tasks and letting her pick first. That way you'll get to know what she doesn't mind doing and, soon enough, she may start doing those tasks on her own schedule when you're at work.

Hello fellow married mfp'rs how are y'all today?