I'm trying to eat healthy but my Spouse isn't??
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you can have a donut after dinner and still lose weight ^-^0
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Just to help folks who may now reply to the OP, he hasn't logged into MFP since May 2nd. This thread was bumped from March 19th by somebody this morning, so the OP probably won't be reading your replies.0
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Therealobi1 wrote: »i really disagree with comparing leaving drugs and alcohol in the house with leaving treats in the house. It really is not the same thing at all.
And it is not easy to to stop eating it, but that actually is the simple fix to the issue.
Actually it is the same thing, and stopping drugs and alcohol are also a simple fix of just stoping. The hard part is doing it, and that goes for many different kinds of addiction, including food.
I don't agree that food is addictive like drugs and alcohol0 -
LaceyBirds wrote: »Just to help folks who may now reply to the OP, he hasn't logged into MFP since May 2nd. This thread was bumped from March 19th by somebody this morning, so the OP probably won't be reading your replies.
Whenever I see a necro thread like this, I often wonder what the OP chose to do. I hope he comes back to tell us what happened in the end!
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King_Spicy wrote: »haha. It's not even like I'm throwing it out because I don't like it. I just throw it out if its taking up space from putting actual healthy food into the fridge, or if it makes it difficult to grab other stuff out. Like if I don't have enough space to put the Soy milk or orange juice in the fridge? You bet I"m making space. If the bottle is resting on top of other food, so it falls out when I try to grab something? Bye Bye
Lol... I'd be tossing out the soy milk... Barf...
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I was in the same situation but the roles reversed.
My wife was eating healthy and exercising while I was not. I saw her results and that woke me up.
I liked that she never nagged me about anything, and now we're doing it together.0 -
I'm fairly certain this has already been said, but I'll go ahead with my 2 cents. I understand that your marriage is a partnership, and I completely understand you wanting support from your spouse while you are attempting to get healthy. That said, you said nothing about her pressuring you to eat these foods, nor have you said that she has discouraged your weight loss journey.
What you eat, how much you exercise and what you do with your allotted calories is solely on you. It's not your wife's responsibility to keep from eating junky foods or from going over your calories, it's your responsibility; because this was your choice.
I don't know what you wife's goals are in terms of her own weight, and perhaps your frustration is also coming from a point of concern, but even so, just because she is cheating doesn't mean you have to.
My BF is svelt in comparison to me, and he likes to snack, I don't begrudge him those snacks, or chicken nuggets or sour patch kids because my weight issues are not his burden to bare, they're mine.
When he brings those things in and offers them, I'll decline if I don't have the calories (if I do have the calories, I'll have a little).
This lifestyle change is about balance. Talk to your lady, be honest and tell her how your feeling, but understand that your doing that in the spirit of partnership and honesty, not out of anger or in judgement. You are married, and that means that she loves you; she'll understand and maybe with that knowledge she can try to keep some of those things out of the house for you.0 -
goofyrick24 wrote: »
Actually I am just amazed that my little rant generated such a response... I was also after a day where my wife had asked me to take her thru a drive thru so she could order breakfast... And the Krispy Kreme Drive Thru to me is like putting a pound of Heroin on the table at a drug detox center...
I do really care and I do find this completely interesting...I_Will_End_You wrote: »The good thing about that is if you go with the original glazed, Krispy Kremes are pretty easy to fit into your diet. 200 calories is low compared to a lot of other donuts.Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »Agreed.
And at least going through the drive thru, it's pretty easy to limit yourself to just one. Tell the person taking your order what you want, pay for your donut, and drive away.
I don't know why it's so hard to convince people they don't *have* to give up the occasional donut to lose weight/be healthy.
Not sure if this is true for @goofyrick24 or not, but there are some foods for which I have no interest in eating just 200 calories. Like pizza. Unless I can have at least 500 calories, I'm not interested. When my OH wants us to have pizza, he knows to give me enough notice that I can make it fit, or he gets it for himself. (We're not living together yet.)
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valente347 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »
So does he have a TV outside to watch sports while he snacks on what he likes?cushman5279 wrote: »I simply stated to my husband that if he wanted that kind of stuff he would have to have it outside of the house, and if he did bring it home, he needed to hide it LOL!
The control issue is yours, not his. Imposing restriction on him because there's no self control on your part is pretty selfish. How about when he wants to eat some "junk", you go up to your bedroom till he's done? That's just as fair right?
I am one of those people who hates to have foods in the house that are delicious/high calorie/low nutritional value. I exercise self control most effectively by not buying these things at all. Luckily, my husband is completely on board with this.
When I have these foods in the house, I can and do resist eating them (usually), but I think about them CONSTANTLY. It's torture. There's a perpetual inner dialogue running.
"You can eat just two Oreos."
"Technically, that's true, but if I have one Oreo, I will eat 8 Oreos. I know this from experience. Even if I do eat just 2 Oreos, that will put me over for the day."
5 minutes later.
"If you eat all the Oreos while nobody is looking and replace them before anyone knows you ate them, it's like it never happened."
"Shut up."
5 minutes later.
"If you eat the Oreos now, you can just make the calorie deficit up over the course of the week."
"Are you on freaking crack? I get 1300 calories per day; where exactly are these calories going to be cut from? (/eats another goddamn carrot)"
Nonstop, the entire time I'm awake.
Why would I do that to myself? I wish that people who can keep things like Oreos and Doritos in the house without thinking about them constantly understood how lucky they are.
Yup, I don't have foods that call to me like this in the house. That's not to say I don't have treats - I have plenty of treats, but I've learned what I can moderate and what I cannot. There's no need to master moderation of every food on earth. Plenty to chose from.
This. I have no problems moderating Oreos or tortilla chips, but brownies have to be kept in the freezer and a bag jalapeño kettle chips must be eaten in one sitting, so I only buy individual sized bags.
Ya, I do the freezer thing for raw batter of the best chocolate cookies in the world and buy individual servings of chips as well.0 -
I am amazed at the number of people who seem to think that putting food (i.e. doughnuts) in the cupboard is some sort of huge imposition on a partner. Food goes in cupboards; otherwise, there's no counter space left to cook on.
My husband is not trying to lose weight or watch what he eats. He can buy (and eat - even in front of me) anything junky he wants. But it lives in the "snacks" cupboard - which is a perfectly valid location and easily accessible within our kitchen.
Marriage is a partnership. We help each other out. We plan and eat meals together. And, yes, we will be using less bacon in the carbonara because otherwise I couldn't eat it anymore (and since I'm the one who cooks it, that would mean nobody got to eat it anymore).2 -
SusanMFindlay wrote: »I am amazed at the number of people who seem to think that putting food (i.e. doughnuts) in the cupboard is some sort of huge imposition on a partner. Food goes in cupboards; otherwise, there's no counter space left to cook on.
My husband is not trying to lose weight or watch what he eats. He can buy (and eat - even in front of me) anything junky he wants. But it lives in the "snacks" cupboard - which is a perfectly valid location and easily accessible within our kitchen.
Marriage is a partnership. We help each other out. We plan and eat meals together. And, yes, we will be using less bacon in the carbonara because otherwise I couldn't eat it anymore (and since I'm the one who cooks it, that would mean nobody got to eat it anymore).
Right?! I'm honestly shocked by the amount of people that seem to think that marriage is like living with a roommate, you deal with your own struggles and they deal with theirs and if you need some help you better figure it out yourself because you wouldn't want to put out your spouse....wouldn't you prefer a partner that you can rely on to support you when you're struggling, even if it means putting themselves out somewhat?2 -
SusanMFindlay wrote: »I am amazed at the number of people who seem to think that putting food (i.e. doughnuts) in the cupboard is some sort of huge imposition on a partner. Food goes in cupboards; otherwise, there's no counter space left to cook on.
My husband is not trying to lose weight or watch what he eats. He can buy (and eat - even in front of me) anything junky he wants. But it lives in the "snacks" cupboard - which is a perfectly valid location and easily accessible within our kitchen.
Marriage is a partnership. We help each other out. We plan and eat meals together. And, yes, we will be using less bacon in the carbonara because otherwise I couldn't eat it anymore (and since I'm the one who cooks it, that would mean nobody got to eat it anymore).
Right?! I'm honestly shocked by the amount of people that seem to think that marriage is like living with a roommate, you deal with your own struggles and they deal with theirs and if you need some help you better figure it out yourself because you wouldn't want to put out your spouse....wouldn't you prefer a partner that you can rely on to support you when you're struggling, even if it means putting themselves out somewhat?
Obviously you would, but if you don't then what?
Do you wait until you are both on the same page till you start?0 -
SusanMFindlay wrote: »I am amazed at the number of people who seem to think that putting food (i.e. doughnuts) in the cupboard is some sort of huge imposition on a partner. Food goes in cupboards; otherwise, there's no counter space left to cook on.
My husband is not trying to lose weight or watch what he eats. He can buy (and eat - even in front of me) anything junky he wants. But it lives in the "snacks" cupboard - which is a perfectly valid location and easily accessible within our kitchen.
Marriage is a partnership. We help each other out. We plan and eat meals together. And, yes, we will be using less bacon in the carbonara because otherwise I couldn't eat it anymore (and since I'm the one who cooks it, that would mean nobody got to eat it anymore).
Right?! I'm honestly shocked by the amount of people that seem to think that marriage is like living with a roommate, you deal with your own struggles and they deal with theirs and if you need some help you better figure it out yourself because you wouldn't want to put out your spouse....wouldn't you prefer a partner that you can rely on to support you when you're struggling, even if it means putting themselves out somewhat?
Yes!0 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »I am amazed at the number of people who seem to think that putting food (i.e. doughnuts) in the cupboard is some sort of huge imposition on a partner. Food goes in cupboards; otherwise, there's no counter space left to cook on.
My husband is not trying to lose weight or watch what he eats. He can buy (and eat - even in front of me) anything junky he wants. But it lives in the "snacks" cupboard - which is a perfectly valid location and easily accessible within our kitchen.
Marriage is a partnership. We help each other out. We plan and eat meals together. And, yes, we will be using less bacon in the carbonara because otherwise I couldn't eat it anymore (and since I'm the one who cooks it, that would mean nobody got to eat it anymore).
Right?! I'm honestly shocked by the amount of people that seem to think that marriage is like living with a roommate, you deal with your own struggles and they deal with theirs and if you need some help you better figure it out yourself because you wouldn't want to put out your spouse....wouldn't you prefer a partner that you can rely on to support you when you're struggling, even if it means putting themselves out somewhat?
Obviously you would, but if you don't then what?
Do you wait until you are both on the same page till you start?
Don't...have a partner that supports you? That sounds like an issue out of the scope of the deep well of MFP advice....0 -
So does he have a TV outside to watch sports while he snacks on what he likes?cushman5279 wrote: »I simply stated to my husband that if he wanted that kind of stuff he would have to have it outside of the house, and if he did bring it home, he needed to hide it LOL!
The control issue is yours, not his. Imposing restriction on him because there's no self control on your part is pretty selfish. How about when he wants to eat some "junk", you go up to your bedroom till he's done? That's just as fair right?
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My fiancé and I do a similar thing but it doesn't feel like me imposing a rule on him, since we are equals in the relationship and neither of us can impose rules on the other. I request on occasion that he hides tasty things so I'm not tempted, and he complies because he knows it's difficult and wants to support me. He also is not offended if I excuse myself from the room when he's eating something and I'm too tempted. I do join him in eating tasties on occasion too. This is the compromise we have made so that I can do my healthy eating and he can support me but still have treats. Likewise this way I can support his choice not to cut out treats without risking my diet.
OP: don't try to impose rules on your partner. Tell her you need support, and you are struggling with temptation when she eats tasty foods. If your relationship is strong, she will want to help you and you will be able to find a compromise.0 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »I am amazed at the number of people who seem to think that putting food (i.e. doughnuts) in the cupboard is some sort of huge imposition on a partner. Food goes in cupboards; otherwise, there's no counter space left to cook on.
My husband is not trying to lose weight or watch what he eats. He can buy (and eat - even in front of me) anything junky he wants. But it lives in the "snacks" cupboard - which is a perfectly valid location and easily accessible within our kitchen.
Marriage is a partnership. We help each other out. We plan and eat meals together. And, yes, we will be using less bacon in the carbonara because otherwise I couldn't eat it anymore (and since I'm the one who cooks it, that would mean nobody got to eat it anymore).
Right?! I'm honestly shocked by the amount of people that seem to think that marriage is like living with a roommate, you deal with your own struggles and they deal with theirs and if you need some help you better figure it out yourself because you wouldn't want to put out your spouse....wouldn't you prefer a partner that you can rely on to support you when you're struggling, even if it means putting themselves out somewhat?
Obviously you would, but if you don't then what?
Do you wait until you are both on the same page till you start?
Don't...have a partner that supports you? That sounds like an issue out of the scope of the deep well of MFP advice....
Lol, your funny
We see this topic time and time again since I have been here
In fact isn't that what the op wrote about in the first place1 -
goofyrick24 wrote: »I'm trying to have a healthy lifestyle and diet and it is hard when my Wife isn't. She continues to buy sodas, donuts, fast food, etc and the temptation is killing me.... I don't know what to do!!
It is really difficult. I managed to get hubby to join me with losing weight, and he stopped bringing in the potato chips, cheetos, crackers, nacho chips, bugles, etc. But if he were to bring them in I think I would be strong enough now. But early on I would have given in and joined him
Have a talk with your wife and ask her if she would like you to get fatter. If not, maybe she will support you?0 -
BreezeDoveal wrote: »Therealobi1 wrote: »SusanMFindlay wrote: »I am amazed at the number of people who seem to think that putting food (i.e. doughnuts) in the cupboard is some sort of huge imposition on a partner. Food goes in cupboards; otherwise, there's no counter space left to cook on.
My husband is not trying to lose weight or watch what he eats. He can buy (and eat - even in front of me) anything junky he wants. But it lives in the "snacks" cupboard - which is a perfectly valid location and easily accessible within our kitchen.
Marriage is a partnership. We help each other out. We plan and eat meals together. And, yes, we will be using less bacon in the carbonara because otherwise I couldn't eat it anymore (and since I'm the one who cooks it, that would mean nobody got to eat it anymore).
Right?! I'm honestly shocked by the amount of people that seem to think that marriage is like living with a roommate, you deal with your own struggles and they deal with theirs and if you need some help you better figure it out yourself because you wouldn't want to put out your spouse....wouldn't you prefer a partner that you can rely on to support you when you're struggling, even if it means putting themselves out somewhat?
Obviously you would, but if you don't then what?
Do you wait until you are both on the same page till you start?
Don't...have a partner that supports you? That sounds like an issue out of the scope of the deep well of MFP advice....
Chances are they have a happy marriage though:
http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/04/05/happy-marriage-tends-to-mean-weight-gain/53453.html
Maybe they do! Who knows, certainly not me
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